RomanQuest

by Herbie Brennan

  I plus I is written as II and equals TWO

  V plus I is written as VI and equals SIX

  D plus C plus L is written as DCL and equals SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY

  “You see,” he explains, “D equals five hundred, C equals one hundred. Add them together and you get six hundred. L equals fifty. Add that to six hundred and you get six hundred and fifty. DCL - see?” He turns back to the board. “Now, a symbol placed before one of greater value subtracts its value like this:”

  V minus I is written as IV and equals FOUR

  C minus X is written as XC and equals NINETY

  M minus I is written as IM and equals NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE

  He turns back. “Now you know all about numbers. Class dismissed.”

  Bit sudden, but you expect he’s tired. Still, the little bit you’ve learned about Roman numerals might come in handy for reading copyright dates at the end of TV programmes. For the moment, return to your map at CL and select another destination.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  89

  You’re in an empty north-south corridor with doors in the end two walls and in the western wall.

  The door to the north is marked LXXXIII. The door to the south is marked LXXIX. The door to the west is marked LXXXXVIII.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  90

  “Let’s make a deal,” you tell the grinning spearman desperately.

  “Volo pactum facere,” the simultaneous translator booms through your mouth unnervingly.

  “Suppose you just let me walk out of here without any trouble and I assure you I shall make no complaint to the authorities, or hold your threatening behaviour against you in any way.”

  “Fors fortis!” snarls the spearman.

  “Fat chance,” translates the decoder in your ear.

  And before you can ‘Woe is me!’ (O me miserum!) he hurls himself upon you, thus usurping any possibility of your getting in the first blow. The man has 30 Life Points and his spear does +3 damage to your unprotected hide. If during the fight he scores 9 or better, he will elect to use the net instead of the spear. This causes no damage at all, whatever the dice may show but will immobilise you completely for the next three combat rounds so you can’t even lift the dice while he pounds away at you. If, as seems likely, this encounter kills you your bleeding body will be dragged from the arena and dumped unceremoniously at 13. In the event that you survive, it might be a good idea to grab that net and spear before you stride victorious to 40.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  91

  “Don’t have five denarii,” you tell him glumly.

  “What do you have then?” he asks.

  You dig into your pockets and come up with a half-chewed toffee covered in hairy lint, the crumpled brochure for the Colossus of the Apennines, a wizened chestnut with a hole bored through the middle, a short piece of string, a page torn out of a lined notebook with somebody’s phone number written on it but no name so you’ve not the slightest idea who would answer if you rang, and a paper clip.

  “Oh, wow, like cool!” Titus exclaims, wide-eyed. “What about giving me that?”

  “This?” you ask frowning, picking up the paper clip. “Or this -?” You offer him the conker. Surely he couldn’t want the toffee. Even you are finding it disgusting.

  “No - that!” he tells you breathlessly, pointing at the crumpled brochure. “Look at the colours! Look at that painting of the lake and the big statue!”

  “That’s not a painting - that’s a photogr -” You stop yourself abruptly. “Well,” you say, “it’s very valuable, of course, but if you’re as good a guide as you say ...”

  He snatches the crumpled brochure. “Come with me!” he tells you firmly.

  And, taking your hand, leads you to 37.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  92

  “Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He looks thoughtfully into the middle distance. “Surgical amputation of the brain, I think.”

  After which painful experience, you can make your way to 13.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  93

  “You can tell by the way I’m dressed I’m not an escaped slave,” you say firmly.

  “No, I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “No I can’t”

  “Yes you can.”

  “Can’t!”

  “Can!”

  And so on for quite a long time until you get fed up and say, “Look, a person’s innocent until they’re proven guilty - right?”

  He looks at you in astonishment. “Are you out of your mind? You’ll have trouble getting any of your rights if you’re not a Roman citizen and I don’t think you are.”

  “I am,” you lie.

  “Are not,” he says.

  “Am!”

  “Not!”

  “Sum!”

  “Non es!”

  And so on until your merry conversation is drowned out by a distant explosion and a rumbling roar that gradually comes closer and closer.

  “What’s that?” somebody asks.

  “Jupiter’s thunderbolt?” suggests one.

  “Vulcan’s hammer?” suggests another.

  Then someone points to a black, pine-shaped cloud climbing into the sky. “It’s the volcano!” she screams. “Vesuvius has blown its top!”

  Red hot cinders and globs of molten lava begin to rain down.

  “Quick! Under cover!”

  Without waiting for any urging, you dive into the nearest doorway to take shelter from the fiery rain. Within seconds, half a dozen other people are crowded in there with you.

  “Should be safe here,” you remark, hoping for reassurance.

  “Safe as houses,” somebody tells you as a nearby house catches fire and falls down. “Greek built,” he shrugs dismissively.

  As you stand watching the rain of fire and listening to the roar of the volcano, a sulphurous fog rolls towards you. In moments you and everyone around you is coughing in a vain attempt to rid your lungs of the acrid fumes.

  Moments more and you are sinking to your knees.

  That’s how it was at Pompeii, I’m afraid. Long before the lava reached it, the fumes poisoned just about everyone and every thing in the city, including you. Go to 13.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  94

  “You win!” exclaims the wild-eyed man delightedly. “Come on - I’ll take you to the Palace before I’m tempted to make any more bets.”

  He leads you out of the enormous hippodrome through a back entrance and as you get your bearings, you realise the Imperial Palace is just behind the Circus Maximus across the Appian Way.

  Guards move forward as you approach, but (somewhat to your surprise) recognise the wild-eyed man at once.

  “Lost another bet, have you, Janus?” one grins. “Better go on in. But mind yourself - the Little Boot’s in residence.”

  Hardly able to believe this is really happening, you walk through the huge entrance doors into a colonnaded marble hall lined with statues of a thin young man in a series of heroic poses.

  “This way,” says Janus, turning into a corridor.

  You follow to find this too is lined with statues of the same young man. Janus pushes open a door. “This is the Emperor’s private temple,” he says.

  You step inside. The temple is immense, larger even than some of the public buildings you’ve seen. There is a heavy smell of incense in the air and beyond the altar in place of a statue of the god, there is a massive statue of the thin young man whose image seems to be decorating every other inch of the palace.


  “Who is that clown?” you ask.

  “It’s me,” a voice says in your ear. “I had it erected when I realised I was really a god. Jove to be exact.”

  You swing round to find yourself face to face with the slim young man whose statue towers behind the altar. He is wearing a pristine toga piped in purple and has a laurel wreath set at a jaunty angle on his head.

  Janus’s arm snaps up in a Nazi salute. “Hail Caesar!” he exclaims. Out of the corner of his mouth he whispers, “Bow or something! This is the Emperor Caligula!”

  Bow my foot. You’ve got three choices here. You can either take your chance and try to assassinate Caligula at 108 You can take to your heels and get away from this monster as fast as you can at 126 Or you can bide your time and see what happens at 154.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  95

  Something odd about this house. For one thing all the windows are heavily shuttered. For another there’s a guard on the door.

  “Allez vite!” he growls as you approach.

  “Don’t understand that,” mutters the Mercury phone in your ear. “He must be from Gaul.”

  But even without a translation, you can see he’s telling you to go away in no uncertain terms.

  The question is, will you listen? There is absolutely nothing stopping you from allezing vite to 150 and selecting another destination from your map. If you feel like trying to get into the house he’s guarding, you can do so at 123, but if this results in a fight, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  96

  Roll two dice:

  Score 2 and restore a single die roll of Life Points.

  Score 3 and restore a double dice roll of Life Points.

  Score 4 and collect a magic bow which never misses and will kill any single opponent instantly the moment you shoot it. Now throw one die to find out how many arrows you have.

  Score 5 and Jupiter will teleport you instantly to any section shown on your map at 150.

  Score 6 and collect a beautifully tailored suit of bronze armour that not only protects you to a level of -8 in any combat, but also shines in the sun and makes you look like Arnie.

  Score 7 and pick up a First Aid Kit that restores your Life Points to their natural maximum each time you use it. Throw one die to find out how often you can use it.

  Score 8 and pick up five Special Life Points which you can add at once to your maximum total.

  Score 9 and Jupiter will transport you from the section you’re in back to the last section you visited where you can make a different choice to the one you made before.

  Score 10 and Jupiter will transport you directly to 13 thus showing life as an Initiate is not all a bowl of cherries.

  Score 11 and a purse containing one gold libra, twenty silver sestertii and twelve copper denarii will drop from the sky into your lap.

  Score 12 and your current Life Points will temporarily double in the next three sections you visit even if they were at or near your maximum to begin with. When you reach the fourth section, they will return to the level they were at before.

  Now return to the section you just left and get on with your adventure.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  97

  “Wrong!” exclaims Caligula delightedly. He grins wickedly. “Only kidding. Now, your next question in the Quiz of Death is a hard one because not many people know the answer: When do the Sibylline Prophecies predict Vesuvius is going to erupt and destroy Pompeii and Herculaneum? Will it be in January, 79 a.d., in January 78 a.d. or in August, 79 a.d?”

  Tricky. If you think the correct date is January, 79 a.d. turn to 66 If you think it was January 78 a.d. turn to 49 If you think it was August 79 a.d. turn to 29.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  98

  If there’s going to be a wedding, this is where they’ll hold it. The chamber is obviously the main hall of the entire villa, an enormous room with some fascinating - and rather naughty - frescos of nymphs and satyrs gambolling across the walls. Lots of vines with plump ripe grapes as well, all pointing to fertility and plenty - perfect sentiments for a wedding.

  Except there’s no sign of preparations. The great hall looks the sort of place you’d welcome guests, no doubt about that, but for a couple as important as Germanicus and Agrippina, there would be scores, probably hundreds, of guests and those sort of numbers require special preparations.

  Something doesn’t feel right.

  Unless, of course, the Sibyl arranged for you to be transported back a few days before the wedding. That would be a really sensible move, give you time to find your feet and make your preparations.

  Except the Sibyl hasn’t been noted for sensible moves so far. Nor has Jupiter, come to that.

  Something really doesn’t feel right.

  Perhaps if you keep going you might come across a crystal ball to help you figure out what. There are two doors out of this huge hall, one in the western wall to CVII and the other in the eastern wall to LXXXIX.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  99

  The sign above the door of this large building shimmers as your Mercury Phone cuts in with the translation:

  THEATRE OF POMPEY

  You stand for a moment frowning, wondering if this is the sort of theatre you would recognise from your own time - a place for staging plays - or is it something ghastly like the Roman Games?

  Since there’s only one way to find out, you push forward only to be stopped by a burly man with a toothpick in one hand and what looks like a very nasty club in the other.

  “Ticket please,” he demands.

  If you have a ticket to the Theatre of Pompey you can present it at 142. If not you’ll just have to get back to your tourist map at 25 and select another destination.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  100

  You are standing over the body of the wild-eyed woman when the Italian Police arrive with sirens blaring to drag you off to jail where, after a short, sharp murder trial, you remain for the rest of your life.

  Which just goes to show violence has its drawbacks even in a game book. For a slightly longer solo adventure, try starting again and reviewing your choice of options.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  101

  “Here it is,” you say, handing the weapon over. “Use it well and your name will go down in history.”

  “I doubt it,” Cassius shrugs. “History remembers the monsters, not the men who rid the world of them. I’d be prepared to bet that by the year 2000 you’d be hard put to find a single schoolchild who’d know the names of Cassius Chaerea or Cornelius Sabinus.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” you nod, but use it well anyway.”

  “I certainly will,” Cassius promises. “Always providing you can get Caligula down here, of course.”

  Your knees suddenly turn to jelly. “Me get Caligula down here? But he’ll have me killed the minute he sees me - I threw a trident at him, remember.”

  “He’ll have forgotten that by now,” says Cassius confidently. “His mind’s in tatters.”

  “But supposing he doesn’t?”

  “That’s just a chance we’ll have to take,” says Cassius sternly.

  A burst of cheering greets you as, with sinking heart, you push open the door. The crowd is celebrating the death of several more brave gladiators. Caligula is seated comfortably overlooking the arena. He turns at the sound of the door.

  This is where you find out if his memory’s improved. Throw two dice. Score 2, 3 or 4 and go to 116. Score anything else and go to 152.

  Please select an optio
n from the previous page.

  102

  You take to your heels like a startled rabbit. At once the guards take off after you.

  Make an Absolutely Anything Roll to determine whether or not you escape the guards. If it kills you, go to 13. If it fails, turn to 38. If it succeeds you can get back to your tourist map at 25 and select another destination.

  Please select an option from the previous page.

  103

  “You got any weapons?” asks Marcus.

  You nod.

  “Well, give them to me,” he demands. “Same goes for armour.”

  The gladiators who were fighting each other a moment ago are now gathered around you, so you’ve no alternative but to obey. In a moment you’re standing vulnerable and helpless in the middle of these louts. Marcus hands you a wooden sword.

  “You’ll use this,” he says.

  You look at it in horror. “Gee, thanks.”

  “Your opponent is Cassius Brutus Trajan,” Marcus tells you. The close-cropped character with the squint smiles and nods. “All you have to do is survive six rounds with him. Kicking, scratching, gouging and stabbing in the back is all allowed. Now off you go and show us what you’re made of.”