by J. S. Cooper
“The rule where I shouldn’t fall in love with you?” I asked him through tense breath. I was starting to feel weird now, my heart starting to ache and my stomach starting to churn. I didn’t want to think about this right now. I didn’t want to think about not falling in love with him. Every time he brought it up, it made me think of the reason why he was so concerned about that. It was like he was stabbing me in the heart every single time he mentioned it. Like the thought of me falling in love with him was so disastrous and deplorable. It made me feel like shit—but it was better to feel this way now before I got too invested. It was good that he wasn’t lying and pretending that he was feeling something that he wasn’t, and I was glad that he was letting me know that he would never be capable of holding those feelings for me.
But I wasn’t sure if my heart was listening.
“Yeah.” He sat up then and leaned back against the headboard. I sat up as well and leaned back and pulled my knees up toward my chest and turned to him. I could tell that a more serious conversation was coming and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to hear it in this moment. “So, Lacey…”
“Yeah?” I gave him a weak smile, trying to pretend a nonchalance that I didn’t feel.
“I like you.” He frowned slightly, and I could tell that those weren’t the first words to something more special. I took a deep breath and waited for what was going to come next. This was already starting to feel like it was going to be hard and emotional, but I knew that I was still going to go through with it and see what happened. Hopefully, I wouldn’t regret my decision.
“Anything else you want to say?” I probed, wondering what was going to come next.
“No.” He shook his head and paused for a few seconds before speaking again. “Nothing else.”
Chapter Six
One Week Later
“I like you.”
I kept replaying Henry’s words in my mind and remembering the way he’d looked at me so warmly. I closed my eyes so that I could remember the happy feeling that had spread through me at his comment. The way he’d held my hand gently. The way he’d smiled. The way he’d stroked my hair. I could have melted. It was forever frozen in my mind and I hated myself for it. I hated that it meant so much to me. I hated that I’d been replaying that moment for the last couple of days. I felt pathetic, absolutely pathetic.
“Henry James.”
I said his name slowly as I opened my eyes, trying to get my mind off the moment of him telling me he liked me. “Henry James,” I said his name again, enjoying the sound of it on my tongue. Why did he have to be so good looking? Why did he have to have emerald green eyes that seemed to gaze into my soul every time he looked at me? Why did he have to be so damn sexy? I just wanted to rip his shirt off and run my fingers down his chest and feel the ripple of his muscles and warm skin against mine. I sighed as I thought of his handsome face and cocky smile. He was the definition of the sort of man that I’d tried my whole life to avoid. He was too handsome, too cocky, too rich, too much trouble. He was the sort of guy who could and would break your heart in an instant and not even think twice about it. I knew that he was the sort of guy that I should avoid at all costs, but I couldn’t stop the animal magnetism that I felt toward him every time that I saw him.
“Henry James what?” Eliza looked at me from her position on the couch, her eyes gleaming as she grinned up at me.
“He’s a pain in my ass,” I groaned as I walked over and collapsed onto the couch next to her.
“What did he do now?” She couldn’t stop grinning at me and I frowned.
“He propositioned me.” I shook my head as I remembered what he’d said to me.
“He what?” Eliza looked surprised and her eyes narrowed. “What sort of proposition? Like a one-night stand?”
“Yup!” I nodded. “He’s just like his brother, Xander, only worse.”
“Worse?” Eliza laughed and raised an eyebrow. “Is that possible?”
“Yes, it’s possible.” I laughed slightly. “He thinks he’s hot stuff and he knows that I think so as well.” I groaned as I remembered the feel of his fingers on my back, pressing into my skin, and the way his tongue had felt as it ran up my neck. “He thinks he can have me whenever he wants and that I won’t be able to resist.”
“Can you resist?” Eliza laughed, and I narrowed my eyes at her, before groaning.
“I have resisted thus far, but I don’t know how long I can keep it up for.” I bit down on my lower lip. “He’s just so hot.”
“You know you could use this as material for Play the Player,” Eliza said with a grin, her eyes searching mine cautiously. She was still nervous that I was still mad at her.
“How?” I frowned at her, wondering if she was being serious.
“Keep it light and casual and make him fall for you, and then back off. Date other guys. Make him think you don’t care. Make him think you don’t want anything serious either. It will drive him crazy.”
“But you know I’m not that sort of girl.”
“I know it and you know it, but he doesn’t know it.” Eliza winked at me. “Have some fun and give him a taste of his own medicine. How cocky is he to tell you not to fall in love with him!” She rolled her eyes.
“Hmm, I don’t know.” I knew she could hear the doubt in my voice. “I feel like that’s the sort of plan that works well in movies, but not in real life. Also, I don’t know if I can do that and not fall in love.”
“Do you want to sleep with him?” Eliza questioned me and I could feel my face warming at her question.
“No!” I said quickly and then groaned. “I mean, okay, I’ve thought about what it would be like to be with him. Come on, now. I’m human. I’ve got needs.” I laughed. “And he is hot as hell.” I thought about his sexy smile and body again and sighed. “But is that enough? Is it really worth it for me to risk getting my emotions involved and hurt, just for some hot sex?”
“What if it was the hottest sex of your life?” Eliza wiggled her eyebrows. “What if he tied you up and did things to you that you couldn’t even imagine?”
“Tied me up?” I looked at her in surprise. “Is that something you and Scott have going on?”
“No.” She laughed. “But Henry seems the sort who would be very kinky.”
“How did you know?” I asked her in surprise.
“I didn’t.” Eliza grinned at me. “But I was right, huh? Do tell me more. How do you know?”
“Ugh,” I groaned, my face turning red as I looked away.
“Lacey! Are you holding back on me? How do you know?”
“I’m embarrassed to say,” I moaned as I thought back to the party.
“Lacey!” Eliza grabbed my hand. “Tell me exactly what happened last week!” She sighed. “I know you were mad at me and we didn’t talk for a bit and I’m so, so sorry. You know that, right? I’m so thankful that you’ve forgiven me. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Don’t make me cry.” I shook my head at her. “I forgive you. You know that. And ugh, last week, eek.” I glanced up at her and I could see the excited anticipation in her eyes as I fumbled around with my words. She looked positively giddy as she waited to hear what I was going to say. “He’s a pig,” I said lightly, my face red. “A delightful, sexy-as-hell pig.”
“What did he do?” Her voice was excited. “Tell me now!”
“He spanked me,” I said, biting down on my lower lip as I gazed at her.
“He spanked you?” Her voice rose and her eyes widened. “Why? And did he do anything else?”
“Eliza!” My face warmed up again as I remembered the feel of his warm hands on my skin.
“Oh my God, what else did he do?” She leaned forward eagerly. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me any of this before!”
“He bit me,” I mumbled.
“He what?” Eliza’s eyes widened.
“He bit me on the ass,” I said and giggled. “After he spanked me.”
“No way.” Her jaw dropped.
“Did it hurt? Did he bite you hard?”
“It didn’t hurt.” I shook my head and grinned at her. “To be honest, it was hot as hell.”
“Wow.”
“But of course, I didn’t let him know that.” I laughed. “I played it cool and we chatted for a bit and made out.”
“Good for you,” Eliza said with a smile. “I can’t believe you didn’t sleep with him. That sounds hot as hell.”
“Trust me, it was hard, girl. All night all I kept thinking about was what would he have done next if I’d said let’s go all the way.” I made a face at her. “And I wondered just how kinky he really is. Like, what would have been next?”
“You should find out.” Eliza grinned. “Maybe he will take you on the ride of your life. No pun intended.”
“Eliza!” I groaned. “I don’t want to go on the ride of my life. You know I’m not the sort to just have a sexual relationship.”
“Why not?” She laughed. “It could be fun.”
“Or it could leave me with incredible heartache.” I sighed. “I already know he’s not looking for a relationship. I know he’s not looking for anything serious. I don’t know if I can do a casual relationship.”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “That’s true. You don’t want to end up getting hurt.” She looked serious for a moment. “Maybe it’s not the smartest idea.”
“Nope.” I looked at her and sighed. “I don’t need another heartache.”
“I know.” She nodded. “You need to meet a nice guy.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, though my mind drifted back to Henry. A part of me wished that I could just have a casual relationship with him. A part of me wished that I wasn’t as idealistic about love and sex as I was. A part of me just wanted to enjoy the moment.
“I don’t know what to say.” Eliza sat back. “I think a fling could be great for you, but not if you think you’d become too invested.”
“I guess if I know it’s just a fling going into it, I could avoid falling for him?” I said, not sure if I was trying to convince her or myself.
“Yeah, maybe you could have ground rules that only you know about.”
“I guess so.” I nodded thoughtfully.
“It could be exciting.”
“Yeah.”
“I think you should do it,” Eliza said.
I could feel myself getting excited at the thought. “You think so?” I looked at her thoughtfully. “He texted me a couple of days ago asking me to call him when I had an answer. Maybe I should text him and tell him I’ve decided to hear him out.”
“Yay!” Eliza said and her hands flew to her face. “Oh my God, this is so nerve-wracking and exciting and it’s not even me.”
“Okay,” I said, grabbing my phone. “I’m going to text him.”
“What are you going to say?” She leaned toward me eagerly.
“I think I’m going to say…I’m ready to meet up.” I looked at her. “Do you think that’s okay?”
“Yeah, don’t give away too much. This way he still doesn’t know if you’re meeting up because you want to do it or because you don’t want to do it.” She nodded. “Did you send it yet?”
“Yup, sending now,” I said as I hit send. “Oh my gosh!” I squealed ten seconds later.
“What? What?” Eliza squealed back at me.
“He responded already.” I swallowed hard. “He wants me to come over tonight so we can discuss everything.”
“Wow, he’s eager,” Eliza said and grabbed my hands. “Are you really going to do this, Lacey?”
“I think so.” I nodded. “I have no idea what I’m getting myself into, but I think I’m going to do it.”
Chapter Seven
“There are three things you have to agree to before we go any further.” Henry stood up and walked toward me. His gaze was intense and dark, and I could feel the blood draining from my body as I stared down at his legs, strong and thick.
“What three things?” I asked curiously, wondering if I’d made a mistake in coming to his home and following him immediately to his bedroom. It all felt so intimate already. I felt like I was playing with fire and about to get a third-degree burn. He already had the high ground, and I hadn’t even officially said I would sleep with him.
“I need to be sure that you’re ready to hear them from me now. I need to make sure that you’re not just going to run away.” He gazed at me seriously.
“I’m not going to run away.” I stared at him curiously, my heart racing erratically. “What is it that you want to tell me?”
“Lacey, I’m not sure you’re in the emotional state to hear about any of this right now.” He gave me a look that spoke volumes—only I didn’t really know what those volumes were saying. I wanted to believe that he was really concerned as to my well-being. I wanted to believe that he cared about my feelings and that I meant more to him than just some girl that he wanted to hook up with, but I didn’t know if that was just wishful thinking. In fact, I was pretty sure that it was just wishful thinking. I wanted to wake up and have this all be a dream. I didn’t know how I’d gotten myself into this situation. I wasn’t this sort of girl. I didn’t do situations like this. I didn’t think I was emotionally prepared to enter into an arrangement like this. I wasn’t sure that it was sound, but I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know more.
“I’m not in a bad emotional state. I’m fine. If you have something you want to tell me, then you need to just tell me and stop being hesitant.”
“I’m not being hesitant.” He gave me a smug look and his eyes sparkled as he gazed into mine. “Trust me, Lacey, I’m not being hesitant at all. I wanted to give you your space after your falling out with Eliza.”
“We’re fine now.” I shrugged. “My emotional state is fine.”
“I hadn’t heard from you in over a week.” He sounded annoyed.
“I was busy.”
“Hmm.” He frowned and I wasn’t sure what was on his mind now.
“What are the three things you want me to agree upon before we go any further then?” I said quickly, panicking slightly inside. What if he’d decided that he didn’t want to be with me anymore? My stomach lurched at the feeling of him no longer wanting me.
“I don’t want you to get upset with me,” he said, and I watched as his face turned thoughtful. I could see that he was debating whether or not to continue and that made me even more frustrated and annoyed.
“Henry, just get it out. I know you don’t want to play games and I don’t want to play games either. So either tell me what you want to say now or just forget it. I don’t have time for this.”
“Rule number one, no feelings or emotional attachments.” He looked me square in the eyes. “You have to understand what this is right from the beginning. You cannot fall in love with me.”
“Yes, you’ve mentioned that before.” I nodded, my heart racing fast as a dart of pain shot through me. No feelings and no emotional attachments? Could I really do that? I was already falling for this guy. How could I stop myself from falling faster? And could I reverse the falling I’d already done? The slight ache in my heart meant that I was already in too deep. And it could only get worse from here on out. It was also annoying to me that he would keep on bringing it up.
“Ready for rule number two?” he asked me with a watchful eye, and I nodded nonchalantly, not wanting him to see how annoyed I was already. I had to keep my mouth shut to stop myself from saying something that would indicate to him that I was already that crazy girl who had fallen for him.
“Rule number two means that there are no holds barred asides from what we state beforehand.”
“What do you mean, no holds barred?” I asked him with a glance. I looked at his arms and could feel myself growing warm. What exactly was he planning to do with me?
“Exactly what I’m saying.” He winked at me. “Anything in the bedroom goes, aside from what we state beforehand.”
“What do we state beforehand?” I asked him, still slightly c
onfused. I swallowed hard as I thought about being with him, all hot and sweaty, in the bedroom.
“That’s up to you.” He winked at me again and gave me a sly look.
“I’m not really sure I understand,” I asked again, wanting more clarification. “What sort of things are you talking about?”
“For example, if you’re not cool with whips or chains.” He grinned at my gasp. “Or ropes.”
“Ropes?” I blinked up at him, wondering what he was planning on doing with the ropes.
“Silk scarves work just as well.”
My stomach jumped. “Just as well?” I gazed at him curiously.
“For my purposes.”
“What purposes are those?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” He laughed. “Though I bet you can imagine what I’m thinking.”
“What are you thinking?”
“Well, I’m thinking I could grab your wrists like this.” He reached out and grabbed my wrists and pulled me toward him. His right hand circled my wrist and brushed up my palm. “And then I tie you to the bedpost with a rope or a scarf.”
“Tie me?”
“Yeah, maybe I’d do your ankles as well, if we really wanted to have some fun.”
“I’ve never done anything like that before.”
“I’d be introducing you to a lot, it seems.” His eyes sparkled. “A whole new world of pleasure.”
“Yeah, I guess you would.” I nodded, feeling excited…but also worried. What exactly would it mean to become so sexually intimate with Henry? Could I handle all of the pleasure—and would it lead to pain? The last thing I needed was pain in my heart. Though all I could really think about right now was Henry holding me down and doing unspeakable things to me that made me cry out in ecstasy and pleasure.
“So are you ready for rule three?”
“Never been more ready,” I said blithely, and he grinned.
“Now those are words that I love to hear.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.” He nodded. “I can show you right now, if you’re that ready.”
