Remembered

by E. D. Brady

  Annie nodded. Her stomach, upon hearing his name, wanted to jump out of her mouth.

  “You poor thing,” Sara mumbled, putting her arms around Annie’s waist. “Please don’t be anxious, everything will be fine.”

  “I’m sorry, Annie,” Zifini interjected. “I do love my brother and all, but I can’t imagine anyone getting this worked up over seeing him. It’s only Kellus.”

  “You may understand one day,” Sara scolded. “I can’t wait until you fall in love. I wonder how rational your behavior will be then.” She placed a cup of tea and a plate of dry toast on the counter next to Annie. “Eat,” she ordered.

  Annie forced the dried toast down and continued to dangle her legs, unable to talk.

  “You can’t sit there like a fool all day,” Cora scolded. “Let’s do something, anything to get your mind off Kellus.”

  “Can we sit in the apple orchard for a while?” Annie asked, finding her voice at last.

  “We’ll help Sara clean up the breakfast dishes first,” Cora suggested.

  “No,” Sara argued, looking over at Annie. “Go now. I think she needs air. She looks green.”

  Annie ran upstairs quickly to take a book from the bookshelf. She threw on Kellus’s coat and met Cora and Zifini outside by the gate.

  Once inside the orchard, Annie sat on a small, white, stone bench that was situated directly under the first archway. She opened the book and read the first page while the two other girls sat on the grass, deep in conversation.

  There was no way for her to concentrate on the words; her mind raced all over the place.

  She felt so at home here, so completely comfortable, like she’d always lived here. She had left West Vistira six months ago, where she had lived for years with only a brother and sister. But here she was now with two sisters, two brothers, and what felt like a new set of parents. And a husband that she loved so unbelievably much. The thought of him caused her stomach to start jumping again.

  And then her mind drifted to Cappy.

  What would Cappy think when Annie never returned? Would she try looking for her? Would there be search parties formed in that world also, only to pronounce her dead after ten days? Was that world even real, or had she imagined it? Maybe she had banged her head, and that was all just a figment of her imagination.

  No.

  No, that wasn’t possible. Cappy was real, she was definitely real. Somewhere in time and space, Cappy did exist.

  She sighed heavily. She couldn’t even begin to deal with the pain of that thought.

  She opened the book again and forced herself to concentrate.

  “We should head back,” Zifini said. “It’s almost lunchtime.”

  Annie was very impressed with herself. She had managed to lose time in one hundred and forty seven pages.

  After lunch, and various other chores around the house, Annie went upstairs to bathe and get dressed.

  She walked out of the bathroom, wrapped in a large towel, and hurried into her room. She spent over thirty minutes scrunching her hair, and scolding herself for not having the foresight to bring more clothes from her little house. She had already borrowed two skirts from Cora in the past few days.

  As if reading her mind, the door knocked. When Annie answered it, she saw Sara standing in the hall with a gold, velvet garment hung over her arm.

  “Come in,” Annie said. “What’s that?”

  Sara placed a folded white cloth on the bed and spread the gold garment out between both her hands, holding it out for Annie to admire. It was the most beautiful skirt Annie had ever seen: soft, crushed velvet with tiny gold beads running in three lines down the front.

  “Who owns that?” she asked.

  “You do,” Sara replied. “I hope you like it.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Annie questioned.

  “I realized that you didn’t have a lot of clothes with you, so yesterday, when you were out with Markum, I ran to town and bought this for you. I thought the gold would compliment your brown hair and pretty brown eyes,” Sara explained. “I thought that you’d want something extra special to wear when you see Kellus again.”

  Overcome with emotion, imagining Sara shopping for pretty things to give her, and so moved by her kindness, Annie flung her arms around Sara’s neck. “Thank you so much,” she mumbled into Sara’s neck. “This is just like having a mother of my own again.”

  “I’m not looking for thanks,” Sara replied, patting Annie on the back. “And in a sense, I am your mother. I would have loved to make a fuss for your wedding. This is the least I can do.”

  Cora and Zifini appeared in the doorway, holding small bunches of long strings.

  “Sit down, Annie,” Cora demanded. “We’re going to do your hair.”

  The younger women set about tying strings to the top of Annie’s hair, and wrapping individual strands around each one—chatting happily while Annie’s stomach did somersaults—so that by the time her hair was dry and the strings removed, tiny ringlets, more pronounced than usual, cascaded down her back.

  “I’ll just go get dressed,” Annie said, picking the skirt gently off the bed.

  “This is to go with it,” Sara announced, lifting the folded white cloth from the foot of the bed and handing it to her daughter-in-law.

  Annie slid into the skirt and looked at the top that Sara bought to compliment it. It was a sleeveless, white, bodice-style top with two panels of white satin down the front, held together with a white satin ribbon threaded through both sides. She squeezed into it and adjusted it around her slender waist, noting how pronounced her cleavage looked.

  “You look so beautiful,” Zifini said when Annie walked back into the bedroom.

  “One last thing,” Sara said, placing a tight, white, satin choker around Annie’s neck. She stepped a couple of feet back and inspected her daughter-in-law thoroughly. “Absolutely stunning,” she mumbled. “Just in time; Kellus should be here any minute.”

  Her statement hit Annie like a ton of bricks. She bent over clutching her stomach.

  “What is it?” Cora asked.

  “Nerves,” Annie moaned.

  “Let’s get her downstairs,” Sara stated. “She needs water, I think.”

  They walked into the kitchen to find Markum and Max already back from the farm.

  “You look like a vision, Annie,” Max said. “I’ve never seen you look so beautiful.”

  “It seems fortune favors my brother,” Markum added. “If I must admit the truth, I’m feeling slightly jealous of him at this moment.”

  She managed a weak ‘thank you’ to both men.

  She sat in silence, sipping on a glass of water, while the rest of the family chatted and buzzed around her.

  Sara suddenly stuck her head around the doorframe. “Tol and Kellus are approaching. I see them on The Ocean Road.”

  Annie choked on a mouthful of water.

  Almost immediately, she heard the sound of a horse and carriage, faint at first, but growing louder with each passing second until it was right outside the front door.

  Everyone walked outside to greet her husband—everyone but her.

  She stood frozen to the spot.

  She suddenly had an extreme attack of self-conscious energy and couldn’t think straight.

  Luckily, Markum had noticed and took a step back. “Will you be using your legs to go greet your husband, or do you need me to carry you out to him like a small child,” he asked, clearly amused by her panic attack. She gave him a pleading look that seemed to soften him, removing the smirk. He put his hand on her back and pushed her forward gently. “His anticipation is no doubt equal to yours. It’ll be fine,” he said kindly.

  She walked through the front door, with Markum by her side, to a view that was almost blinding.

  There, standing next to Tol’s carriage, was the most divine man she’d ever seen. He radiated beauty as though there was a light glowing out from inside him.

  He stood looking just as she’d see
n him many times before: wearing a blue apprentice uniform.

  The sight of him brought back so many memories and with them, so many intense emotions.

  She gasped.

  All of her senses began to shut down at once. Her head filled with white noise and she could no longer hear the sound of the ocean, or the breathing of the six other people that stood near, nor could she see anything beyond the vision in front of her.

  Their eyes locked and stayed that way for a lifetime, it seemed.

  She was vaguely aware of their audience growing uneasy at the prolonged silence, though they seemed a thousand miles away.

  Ages passed.

  She could not move or think. She could only hold his gaze with hers.

  Finally, Kellus moved. He raised his arms and clasped his hands together behind his head, pointing his elbows forward.

  With his eyes still locked with hers, his face crumbled.

  A sob burst from her throat.

  His shoulders began to heave up and down quickly.

  She stumbled forward, blinded by tears.

  She drew closer; her legs were concrete, heavy. Time and space began to slow, to lose their natural tendencies.

  She moved until she was close enough to throw herself at him.

  He caught her, crushed her to his chest, and sobbed freely, utterly unashamed of his emotions.

  All the years of loneliness, all the wants, all the needs, came pouring out of her through her tears, purging her, freeing her.

  Kellus fell to his knees, buried his face in her belly, gripping her hips tightly with both hands. His sobbing vibrated through her entire body.

  She looked up to the silent crowd to see that she and Kellus did not cry alone. Cora held both of Zifini’s hands in hers; both girls leaned into each other, crying along with them.

  Sara held her husband with one arm and frantically dried her eyes with her free hand.

  Max and Markum looked down at the ground as though they could penetrate the earth with their glares.

  Kellus folded his arms around the small of her back, his emotions intensifying.

  She cradled his head in her arms, reveling in the feel of his hair against her skin.

  Only Tol moved. He approached them and put his hand on Kellus’s shoulder. “Kellus,” he said gently, pulling him away from Annie. “Son, take Annie to your bedroom. You should be alone with her now.”

  Kellus nodded and jumped to his feet.

  He turned to face her, but it was too much for them both, the intensity of the reunion, the overwhelming emotions that blasted through them equally.

  They turned away from one another, both breathing heavily.

  Then she felt a familiar hand on her face, an angel’s touch. She turned to see his tear-soaked eyes on her, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Annie,” he whispered so quietly that she barely heard him.

  He touched her shoulder. His hand slid all the way down her arm until his fingers found hers. Clasping hands, they turned to walk towards the house, leaving the others to stare after them.

  “Will you be joining us for dinner later?” Sara called out.

  “Not tonight, mother,” he replied without looking back.

  They walked up both flights of stairs in silence.

  Kellus looked straight ahead. His face was stone, expressionless.

  They entered their room. His hand reached over her shoulder, pushing the door hard, slamming it shut.

  He brought his hand to the back of her neck, resting his gaze on her. His eyes searched hers, his expression still blank. “Is this a dream?” he asked quietly. He lowered his head until their eyes were even. “Is this a demon playing mind tricks again because I can’t take any more?”

  She shook her head, losing herself in his beautiful eyes.

  “I can’t take any more,” he said again. “I can’t endure another dream of you, only to drown in despair when I wake up.”

  “This is no dream,” she whispered, turning her head to kiss his wrist. She leaned forward, eager to taste his lips, but he pulled his head back. A pain shot through her heart—rejection.

  His eyes continued to search hers, darting around her features. Then a beautiful sad smile broke on his face, his bottom lip quivered with emotion. “Annie,” he said again, finally convinced that she stood before him.

  He grabbed her head with both hands and pulled her face back to his.

  Their kiss was beyond anything she remembered.

  Her legs weakened. She was at risk of tumbling to the ground. She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted every molecule of her body to twist around his. She wanted him completely.

  She tasted salt as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, sobbing and moaning loudly, his tears of joy mingling with hers.

  His kiss became almost violent, but she thoroughly understood the urgency. His hands were roaming all over her, pulling at her hair one second, digging into her hips the next, then riding over her breasts and down to her thighs, trying to reacquaint with every inch of her body at once.

  He broke from her and ran his tongue up her throat. “Annie,” he growled. “I can’t…” he trailed off, pushing his body against her, biting down on her ear gently.

  His hands were everywhere at once.

  She felt his fingers tuck into the elastic waistband of her skirt, then a split second later, the skirt was being yanked down to her ankles, along with her panties. She kicked them off her boots awkwardly, without breaking away from his mouth.

  “Need you,” he moaned into her neck.

  His left hand moved behind her knee and lifted her leg up while his right hand pulled at the bottoms of his apprentice uniform.

  She screamed out loud as he impaled her against the door. With one thrust, he buried himself in her as deep as he could go. He wrapped his right arm around her waist to hold her in place while he hammered mercilessly into her.

  She thrashed her head around, crying and screaming, digging her nails into his back, losing her mind in the erotic sensation.

  “Annie!” he cried out, almost lifting her off the floor with the force of his thrusts.

  She found his mouth again. She pressed her lips to his, desperate for him to enter it, to be filled by him every way possible, to be unreservedly ravished by him.

  When her release finally came, she shock violently, grinding her teeth, then collapsed forward onto his shoulder, feeling the aftershocks course through her.

  She felt his body relax after one last push.

  He wrapped his arms tight around her back and held her silently, breathing heavily into her neck.

  He pulled away and adjusted his uniform, then walked across the room and sat on the foot of the bed.

  Annie quickly shimmied back into her clothes and sat down next to him.

  Without looking at her, he took her hand and rested it on his knee, twisted around his own. “Sorry,” he said quietly, looking down at the floor. “Sorry, that wasn’t—” he swallowed hard. “That wasn’t how I imagined making love to you for the first time after six months, but…” he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. He looked at her sideways, his top lip sucked into his mouth.

  She fully understood the lack of words. How could one convey, even begin to articulate, the ordeal of being whiplashed with so many intense emotions at once?

  “It’s okay,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

  He pulled the hand that still held hers across his nose and sniffed hard. “I died—” he said quietly, his voice trembling. He sniffed louder, “—a thousand brutal deaths without you. And the dreams…those fucking dreams.” She heard a sob escape his mouth.

  “It’s okay,” she said again, having lost the ability to think coherently.

  He shuddered. “Listen to me,” he said with a sad chuckle, “telling you about my ordeal, when you were the victim here.”

  “We were both victims,” she replied. “And I want you to talk about it, to get it all out. That’s the only way we’ll heal.” />
  He nodded and turned to face her. He placed his hands on either side of her face. “I love you so much,” he said, his face twisting in pain.

  “I love you too,” she replied, touching his cheek in return.

  He leaned forward and placed several tiny kisses on her lips. “I dreamt of you almost every night,” he explained, looking into her eyes. “The dreams were so real that every morning I’d wake up feeling the intense pain, the freshness of the loss all over again. It was like being trapped in hell, Annie.”

  “Kellus,” she sobbed, her heart breaking for him, her mind boggling at what he had to endure. If the tables had been turned, she would have gone insane months ago.

  “But the one I had a couple of days ago was the worst yet,” he continued.

  “Tell me,” she coaxed quietly.

  “I dreamt that you lay beside me in my bed, your back to me, sleeping peacefully. I could smell your hair, the smell of lavender off your hair. I picked up a handful and buried my face in it. I could feel it on my lips so clearly. Then I took one ringlet between my fingers and felt it slide through. The silky feel was so real. I was convinced that I was awake the whole time. When I finally did wake up, it was agony. I was empty and alone…well, not exactly empty…it felt more like someone had splattered acid on my insides.”

  She grimaced at the thought.

  “I pulled a pillow across my face and screamed your name into it. I couldn’t bear anymore. I fell on my hands and knees and begged the Universe to send you back to me.”

  “It was just—” she stopped what she was going to say, the truth flooring her. “You called my name three times,” she said with conviction. “You called me Annella, not Annie. And then another time, maybe an hour later.”

  His eyes widened. “How did you know that?” he asked, shocked.

  “I heard you,” she said, a shiver running up her spine.

  “What do you mean, Annie? You were a world away,” he pushed.

  “Kellus, I heard you,” she said again, forcefully. “It’s why I came back. I came back because you called me, because I had to answer your call.”

  “I—” he broke off, shaking his head.

  “It’s not any stranger than you knowing that I was alive, you believing that you would feel it if I died,” she replied.