The Avoiding Series Boxset
Page 86
He quickly ran after her. “The truth is I want to be with you. I went about it wrong, but it doesn’t change how I feel,” he said grabbing her elbow to stop her. She yanked her arm back, pulling her shoulder too forcefully and sending a wrenching pain through it. “I know I made some mistakes, but they are minor Lexi. We can work through them. Please give me the chance to work through them.”
“How can I when I can’t even look at you without seeing the lies all over you?” she asked taking another step backward. “These lies were for you, not for me. You lied to cover your past and your wealth and your importance. I just wanted you as you are. You wouldn’t even give me that. Who are you?” she whispered.
“I’m yours,” he said, following her down the barren hallway. “I’m all yours.”
“You can’t be mine,” she said shaking her head. “Someone who belongs to me is able to give themselves over to me. I gave myself to you and all you did was abuse my trust.”
“Please, let me try to fix this,” he begged, seeing her slipping through his fingers.
“You can’t. I think this is it, Ramsey. I can’t date someone for a year to find out I never knew who he was,” she said weakly, hating even saying the statement. She knew it was true, but her heart was breaking at the thought of being without him.
“I can. I can fix this, Lexi. You know who I am. I swear you do.”
“Good bye, Ramsey,” she said standing on her tip toes and kissing him softly on the mouth. He pulled her tight against him trying to deepen the kiss, trying to remind her of what he could give her. She pressed her hand against his cheek and broke away from his lips. “Please don’t call me,” she added breaking away from him, rushing out the back door, and into her car.
She revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. As swiftly as she could, she piled the majority of her belongings into her two largest suitcases and departed for Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. The weight of what had happened settled over her, and she found that she didn’t even have tears to cry for what she had just done. She cared for Ramsey more than she had ever thought possible, but now all she could see was the tangle of lies surrounding him. She couldn’t help but wonder how different he actually was from Bekah. Perhaps this deception ran in the family. That thought alone held her tears back.
She was driven by one thought: she needed to get back to New York. She needed out of this god-forsaken town and out of this oppressive heat. She needed to get away from the smog of the commuter city and back to her home with its own smells and intricacies.
She wished that she could get away from her life…find simpler times. A Ferris wheel filled her mind’s eye and that almost broke her resolve. To go back to that day and make it all right. To not have to go through the things she had endured. To have him make it all better.
Not thinking, she pulled out her phone and dialed his number. She hadn’t called him since her father’s heart attack. She hadn’t seen him since then either. “Pick up,” she whispered into the phone. “Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.”
The line went to voicemail and a tear fell down her cheek. She needed him. Answer the goddamn phone. She redialed, knowing she couldn’t do it a third time. It rang and rang and rang. His voicemail picked up again, quicker this time, and she groaned pathetically. “Typical,” she spat veering the car into the parking lot. “Just when I need him.”
She pulled into a spot and placed the car in park. She laid her forehead on the steering wheel and tried to remember to breathe. She couldn’t walk into the airport crying. As she wiped a tear from her cheek, her phone lit up next to her. She nearly jumped out of her seat in her desire to answer it.
“Jack,” she murmured softly.
“Lex, is everything all right? You called twice.”
“I just needed to hear you voice,” she said with a sigh.
Jack paused on the line before responding. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I just broke up with Ramsey,” she whispered, swallowing hard.
Another long pause. She wondered if he was smirking. She liked his smirk. She liked his blue eyes. She liked the way he brushed her hair back for her. She liked…she stopped herself. She needed to keep it together.
“Do I need to come pick you up?” he asked finally.
The way his voice melted in the phone made it all worse. She wanted him to come pick her up. That’s all she wanted. But he was marrying someone else. She shouldn’t have even called him, but she had nothing else to lose at this point. “No. I’m at the airport.”
“Are you going back to New York?” he asked hastily.
“Yeah. I need to go home,” she murmured.
“I’m sorry, Lex,” he told her, his voice sad.
She chuckled softly. “It’s not your fault.”
“Not something I hear every day.”
“Jack,” she muttered again softly. Tears were falling out of her eyes freely now as the humor passed. “Don’t you wish we could go back to that Ferris wheel? Don’t you wish we could go back, change it all…make it better?”
“No,” he said just as softly. “If things had changed that day, I might have never gotten that time with you.”
“Oh, God,” she moaned swiping at her tears.
“Lex, come on. Please stop crying. I hate to hear you like this,” he pleaded
“Jack…what is my life?”
“Lex, please, I hate this. How can I help?”
She swallowed back tears. She wished she could tell him all the ways he could help. She wished she could tell him to call off the engagement and make things right by her. She wanted so much from him, but she couldn’t have those things. She had given him up last year in an airport, and she couldn’t take him back this year in the same one. “You can’t. You can’t, Jack. I wish you could, but you can’t.”
“I’ll come to you.”
She shook her head desperate to rid herself of all the thoughts swirling in her head. “I want to escape with you, Jack.”
“I’ll always be your escape, Lex.”
Lexi couldn’t deny how true that was. “I have to go,” she told him unable to keep it together, unable to listen to his sweet words.
“I don’t want you to go when you’re upset.”
“I’ll be okay, Jack, but I have to go. Good bye.”
“All right,” he said with a sad sigh. “Good bye then, Lex. I’m here.”
“I know,” she said and hung up, hanging her head even more confused than she had been before.
Jack and Ramsey confused her beyond anything she could ever imagine. One lied; one cheated. She loved them both immeasurably, and yet, all she ended up with was heartache. She needed to get away. She really needed that escape.
She purchased the next plane ticket out of town, not even bothering to cringe at the expensive fare. As she sat down in the terminal awaiting her flight, she wondered how she was going to get back to her apartment. Rachelle was working out of town, and Chyna was in Milan at her photo shoot. Lexi cursed out loud, much to the chagrin of an old married couple and a teenage mom toting around four obnoxious children, when she realized that they were about to board, and she had no one to pick her up when she arrived in town.
Nodding to herself she realized, in fact, she did have one person and quickly jotted out a text message. She briefly explained the situation and asked if she could be picked up in a couple hours. She received an almost immediate reply.
“Good to hear from you. Sorry about the circumstances. I’ll be there when you land. –Adam.”
PRESENT
Lexi rolled over, letting her arm stretch languidly over her head. She kept her eyes closed savoring the last few seconds of grogginess before she had to get out of bed. She smiled as she sank back further into the soft down pillow under her head and stretched her body out under the comforter. Her hands brushed up against the hard wood headboard, and she blushed thinking about how she had used the headboard last night.
“What’s that devilish grin for?
” Ramsey asked leaning forward and kissing both of her red cheeks.
Lexi giggled, opening her eyes to look at the man lying next to her. “Nothing,” she cooed looking into his bright green eyes from under her thick black lashes.
“You don’t blush without reason,” he said sliding his hand across her bare stomach and pulling her closer to him.
“I think I blushed all last night,” she murmured pushing her hands up against his chest.
“I’d say you had a reason for that.”
Lexi giggled and snuggled closer to him. “True.”
“And anyway, I don’t think I gave you an opportunity to think about blushing. You were too preoccupied,” he said as he ducked down to give her another heated kiss.
“I think you might be right,” she agreed tilting her head to allow for easier access.
Lexi wrapped her arms up around his neck pressing herself flat against him. She knew she was egging him on, but she couldn’t help it. Everything had been so perfect last night after they had talked things out. It was like Parker had never existed in their relationship. She had missed that feeling so much. All she wanted to do was stay in bed all day and forget the past month had happened. That would truly be an ideal situation.
“Whoa there,” he said pulling back briefly, “do you think you’re ready again…already?”
Lexi shrugged, lifting her head off the pillow to kiss him again. “Yes.” It was his turn to grin devilishly as he moved his hand down between her legs. She groaned enjoying his gentle prodding, but also feeling some major after effects of last night’s…activities. “Wait…maybe not.”
Ramsey chuckled and shook his head at her. “I had a feeling,” he said stilling his hand and giving her another playful kiss. “How about a shower?” he offered.
“Ugh,” Lexi groaned, shaking her head side-to-side. “I can’t move a muscle.”
Ramsey clearly seemed to be enjoying the effect he had had on her. He tried to cover a second chuckle, but couldn’t seem to manage it.
“Hey,” she said swatting him on the arm, “this is all your doing.”
He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “And I am so glad that I made you so sore you can’t even get out of bed. How about some breakfast in bed?” he asked as his thumb rubbed circles into her hand. “I could go fix something and let you sleep a little longer.”
“Oh! I like that idea,” she said closing her eyes and wrapping both of her arms around him. She held him in place for a short while as she pretended to fall into a deep slumber. She wanted the best of both worlds: breakfast in bed and Ramsey in bed. Well, she favored the latter more than the former.
Ramsey shook his head at her as he attempted to disentangle himself from her. “I can’t make you breakfast while I’m still in bed with you,” he moaned, trying to unhook her arms from around his neck.
“But I don’t want you to leave,” she told him, holding him tighter.
“I’ll make you coffee,” he murmured into her ear.
“Coffee?” she asked perking up.
“Of course. Just the way you like it.”
“All right. All right,” she grumbled, slowly releasing him. She would do anything for a good cup of coffee in the morning.
She smiled brightly as she watched him climb out of bed and into a pair of green boxers. She could clearly see what effect she had on him through the thin material, and was thankful that Brad and Jason had moved out. She understood more and more how much Ramsey had been working to make a better life for her, and in that moment, she was appreciative of the changes.
Ramsey exited the room with a glance back in her direction. She sighed pleasantly and stretched out in the bed again. What a wonderful morning! She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy...well, she could.
There had been her Mystery Man, and things had kind of felt right. She swallowed not wanting to think about it. He was just a rebound. That’s all he was. She hadn’t been in the right state of mind.
All she had been able to think about for the past month was that she and Ramsey didn’t have a shot in hell of getting back together. Of course she missed him. They had been together for a year, and it’s not like they had broken up because she wasn’t interested anymore. She was definitely still interested, if last night was any indication of that.
And she knew that she had to tell Ramsey about what had happened now that they were back together. They hadn’t been together when it had happened, but the longer she held it in, the more it would look like she was hiding it from him. The last thing she wanted to do was put herself in the same situation as Ramsey. They wouldn’t have broken up at all if he had been honest about what had happened with Parker…among other things. She needed to be honest with him about what had happened in New York.
But the thought of breaking out of the bliss that she was currently in with him made her cringe. They were so happy right now. But with Adam coming into town later today, she knew that she had to break the news sometime soon. She didn’t want Ramsey, or Chyna for that matter, to find out from someone else.
Lexi pushed her hands back through her hair and let her eyes fall back closed. This was going to be more difficult than she thought. After all the years of deception with Jack, her stomach knotted up immediately at the thought of telling Ramsey this one thing. He would forgive her. She was sure of it. She just couldn’t keep herself from freaking out about it.
Lexi bolted upright in bed suddenly realizing—today was the day. She couldn’t believe that it was here. This whole week—this whole year had been leading up to this very moment. As much as she had tried to avoid today from happening, life had caught up with her.
Jack was going to get married today.
Her stomach rolled even more at the thought. She had managed to get through a bachelor party, afternoon brunch, bachelorette party, and a rehearsal dinner with only a few minor mishaps, but today was going to be much harder than that. Jack would officially be off the market after today.
She had been in such a state of bliss when she had woken up that it hadn’t even crossed her mind that the wedding was today. Ramsey had made her forget about Jack. She hadn’t thought that it was even possible. When they had been together, there had been times when Jack wasn’t considered. She knew that he wasn’t important to their relationship, but he had always still been there. After all, Jack was marrying Ramsey’s sister. That thought was hard to get rid of after knowing Jack for so long.
Yet, here she was the day of his wedding…the day that she had been dreading consistently for a year, and she hadn’t even thought about it. She had actually slept in. When she had woken up, she felt content and satisfied. She was pleased just to find Ramsey next to her.
Lexi smiled letting the tension release from her shoulders. This was a good feeling. She could make it through the day feeling like this. The thought alone that someone could make her happy enough to forget Jack’s wedding day was good enough for her.
The only thing she needed to do now was to tell Ramsey the one secret she was carrying around. It was only fair after everything he had told her. Lexi took a deep breath and released it slowly. She could handle this.
As she hopped out of the bed, Ramsey walked back into the room. “What are you doing out of bed? I brought you your coffee,” he said holding up a steaming olive green mug.
“Oh, thanks. I was coming to check on you,” she told him.
“Well, food will be done soon. I knew you would want this first,” he said handing the coffee over. She smiled and took a sip. This really was heaven. “Now that you’re up, how about we eat in the kitchen?”
“All right,” Lexi said tugging on a pair of Ramsey’s boxers and a spare black t-shirt that fell to her knees.
“Sexy,” he said kissing her on the mouth.
Lexi followed him downstairs determined to bring up what had happened in New York. She knew he wouldn’t be happy, but it wouldn’t be fair for her to hold it in. She plopped down into a
chair at the dining room table and crossed her legs Indian style. “Hey, Ramsey, can we talk?” She hated how cliché she sounded, but she didn’t know how else to bring it up.
“Oh, God, I left you alone for ten minutes and you want to break up again,” he said with a crooked smile. She could see that he was nervous at the statement, since every time they had spoken recently they had ended up in a major argument or a breakup. She couldn’t blame him. Especially because what she was about to tell him wasn’t great news either.
“No, no, nothing like that,” she quickly amended. She had no intention of breaking up with him. That was the last thing on her mind. She had been so happy this morning that all she had wanted to do was forget the past month, and move on with their lives. As long as all of his secrets were out in the open, they could work it out…well, after she got this last one out of the way. “I like how things are now so…open…honest.”
Ramsey nodded. Lexi wasn’t sure if he was just agreeing with whatever she was saying or not. He seemed sincere, and the sex last night had been unbelievable. It really must have taken a weight off of his shoulders to have her know the whole story. “Me too. I shouldn’t have hid so much from you. I just didn’t know how to tell you everything.”
“I understand that,” she said thinking of the secret she was about to reveal. There wasn’t an easy way to say what she needed to tell him. Either way he wasn’t going to be pleased. She was hoping that the fact that they were back together would deter the majority of the backlash.
“It must have been the same way with Jack,” he said hesitantly meeting her eyes.
“Yeah…I suppose,” she said after thinking it over. She still hadn’t been thinking of Jack. This was a very strange day for her indeed.
“So, what is it we have to talk about?” he asked more at ease now that he knew that she didn’t want to end things all over again. Lexi met his gaze and admired the man standing before her. She hated what she was about to do. She hated to wipe that beautiful smile off of his face…to make him doubt her. She had to do it, though.