The Avoiding Series Boxset
Page 145
There was nothing she could do about him being attracted to her, and she wasn’t going to go running on the beach in more clothes with the off chance that she might see him.
And him sitting around in nothing but blue swim trunks didn’t help her much. His dark hair was shorter, and his eyes…those blue eyes were as bright as ever as they stared at her.
“Have a good run?” he asked, flipping the book over and resting it on his leg.
“Yeah. It’s nice to be back on the beach,” she told him. “What are you reading?”
“Oh, this?” he asked, flipping to the front. “One of the Wheel of Time books by Robert Jordan.”
“Do you like it?”
Jack looked so relaxed. She couldn’t see him focusing on anything without enjoying it thoroughly.
“Yeah. Not usually my preference, but the guy can tell a story. We’ll see if I make it through all fourteen books.” Jack shrugged. “What are y’all doing tonight?”
Even though they were at the same house as everyone else, they hadn’t all been spending a lot of quality time together. Lexi hadn’t wanted to see any of them, and Ramsey had been happy to spend more alone time with her. It still didn’t feel quite like a vacation, but it was better than being at work.
“Not sure we have anything planned. You?”
“Bekah is meeting some friends from college who live in the area, so I’m by myself tonight.”
“She doesn’t want you to go with?” Lexi asked, remembering the time that she and Jack had been at the beach together with all their friends. She would have never thought of not including him, but then again, they were mutual friends.
“I didn’t really want to go, honestly,” he said with a laugh. “Her friends are a bit much for me. I’d rather sit here and read all night than listen to the constant chatter.”
“I get that.”
“So, if you guys are doing something, just let me know. Otherwise, I’ll be here,” he said, holding up his book.
“Will do,” she told him. “Right now, I think I need a shower.”
“Probably for the best.”
“I’ll let you know about tonight,” Lexi said, turning and walking into the quiet beach house.
Ramsey’s parents were around here somewhere, so she hurried to the back bedroom. She had been avoiding them all week when she could. And she didn’t really want them to see her like this. She felt grimy, and she was already anticipating the feel of the shower washing away the grit.
Lexi opened the door to the bathroom that also connected to their room. She pulled out a towel and set it on the counter for her to use. She was about to turn on the shower when she heard voices coming from the bedroom.
Odd.
She reached forward for the handle to open the door to find out who Ramsey was speaking with, but something held her back. Her fingers brushed against the doorknob, and then she let her hand drop back to her side. Moving forward, she pressed her ear to the thin wood and strained to hear the conversation on the other side.
“Are we having this conversation again?”
Lexi was just able to make out that Ramsey was talking. He hadn’t raised his voice, but she could tell he sounded irritated.
“I’m not sure why we’re having this conversation again, but I’m going to keep having it until it gets through to you,” Parker said.
Lexi’s stomach dropped. She knew that she shouldn’t be eavesdropping. She didn’t know what they were talking about. She didn’t want to know what they were talking about. She just wanted to know why they were having a private conversation in the back bedroom.
What she should have done was back out of the bathroom, retrace her steps back to the living room, and catch her breath. Then, when she was composed, she could return and knock on the door.
But she didn’t move from her place behind the door.
“It doesn’t change anything that has happened between us,” Ramsey said gruffly.
“I’m not asking for it to change your mind. I get that you’re with her. Don’t you think I get that by now?” Parker asked without a trace of hesitation.
This wasn’t the meek, quiet girl who Lexi normally saw around the hospital. She didn’t have to hold back with Ramsey.
“Good. You should get that.”
There was silence for a minute. Lexi wished that she could see what they were doing. Was Parker pissed? Was she frustrated? Was she happy? She immediately discounted the last thought based on the conversation at hand.
They were talking about her. Eesh!
“I’m not stupid. I have a medical degree. I’m a surgeon and a businesswoman. You don’t have to lay things out for me as if I’m not aware. I was there when you grabbed her and pulled her away from John at the hospital. I see the way you look at her. You don’t have to throw the words back in my face,” she said evenly.
“I’m not throwing Lexi in your face.”
“Ugh! This conversation isn’t even about Lexi. You’re happy with her. I get it. This is about false assumptions sitting with you for too long now.”
“They’re not assumptions,” Ramsey said in frustration.
“One day I’m going to prove you wrong.”
“I doubt that. You have no proof,” he bellowed. “You’ve never had proof. They’re just words from you, Parker. It’s why we never worked.”
Lexi heard Parker draw in a sharp breath, and she wasn’t sure if she had done the same thing. He was talking about the fate of the unborn child. Years had passed, and he was still hung up on it. He would never really find out whether or not Parker had had an abortion or a miscarriage. Why did he even bother having this conversation? How did it even come up?
“We worked,” Parker said just loud enough for Lexi to hear. “We worked for years. We were everything…everything. Just because you didn’t trust me enough to believe me, just because we were young and stupid and threw away the best thing that had ever happened to either of us so easily doesn’t mean that you can defile that memory with lies. You were going to marry me, Ramsey Bridges. And don’t you damn forget that.”
Lexi imagined him running his hand back through his neatly kept blonde hair, considering what she had said, debating on how to respond. She saw the anger further welling inside of him. She wondered if he would blow up on Parker.
“You’re right,” Ramsey said softly.
Lexi gritted her teeth. She was right? Just like that?
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. The whole thing just pisses me off.”
“That’s because you’re a fool, and you messed up,” Parker said with such conviction that it sounded like it had to be the truth. “I wish you would just believe me.”
“I can’t. I can’t be over it…”
Lexi’s breath caught, and she took a step away from the door. She couldn’t hear any more of that. He wasn’t over it.
Did he mean Parker or what had happened to them or just the abortion-miscarriage fiasco? In any case…it wasn’t an appropriate thing for him to say…not with Lexi right in the other room. Sure, he didn’t know that, but there shouldn’t be any secrets between them. Wasn’t that what she had said from the beginning?
She stumbled back a few more steps, wanting to distance herself from what she had just heard. It made her chest tighten and her throat close up. After almost three years together, he still wasn’t over Parker.
No.
Okay, he hadn’t said that.
He just wasn’t over the fact that Parker had had an abortion. Sure, he didn’t have proof and that made it more difficult, but Lexi didn’t have proof about whether or not he had slept with Elisa, and she believed him. She had put it behind her. And she hadn’t needed years to get over it.
Sure, it still aggravated her. It still made her cringe to think of the bitch, but Lexi wasn’t hung up on it. She hadn’t left him over it. Why couldn’t Ramsey move past what had happened with Parker? Didn’t he love Lexi enough to move on?
Dwelling on it just allowed it
to eat Ramsey alive.
What the hell was she supposed to do with that information? If he wasn’t over that, then maybe he wasn’t over Parker. It had been years, but they had opened the medical wing together. What had Jack said to her all those years ago?
On some small level, you don’t think that working in close proximity together every day is going to rekindle something that was once there? Imagine if we had to work together every day. What would it be like?
She had told Jack then not to try to make her doubt Ramsey. But maybe she always had. From the first day that she had found out about Parker, she had just reasoned that if she could get over Jack and become friends with Jack, then it only made sense that Ramsey would be over Parker. That was why Ramsey was with Lexi now after all. Right?
Was she just an idiot to not see it happening?
Lexi ground her teeth together. Fuck that! She didn’t have to deal with what was happening on the other side of that door.
She wrenched open the door to the bathroom and rushed out. She slammed the door shut behind her, and it was loud enough that she was sure Ramsey and Parker would hear it. All she wanted to do was turn back around and keep running down the beach like she had wanted to from the beginning. If she had done that, then she would have avoided this moment. Maybe it wasn’t for the best in the long run, but right now, it sounded like a better idea than being anywhere near them.
Her feet stilled in the middle of the hallway, and she took a breath. Chyna had always said that she ran feet first in the opposite direction of her problems. Maybe she was overreacting. It took a lot of willpower to get her to stop and consider that maybe she had just walked into a bad conversation. Maybe he was over Parker. Maybe she was wrong.
Just as she turned around and started to walk back down the hallway to face Ramsey and Parker, the door popped open, and Ramsey hurried out of the room. He came up short when he saw that Lexi was walking toward him and not away.
“Lexi,” he said. He looked guilty.
Was he wondering how much she had heard? Was he deciding how to twist this? Would he lie? Was he going to try to cover it up?
God, she hated herself for thinking it.
Lexi just stared at him. She couldn’t open her mouth. She didn’t trust what would come out of it.
“I didn’t know you were back from your run,” he said hesitantly. “Were you in the bathroom?”
Without saying a word, she let him stand there. He shifted from one foot to the other. Man, way to look guilty.
“Do you want to talk?” he finally asked.
“With Parker still in our room?” she asked, her eyes accusing him.
“So…you were in the bathroom.”
Duh! She just wanted to yell at him, but she couldn’t let loose her anger. It had been a slow buildup from the very beginning. If she let loose now, then she couldn’t guarantee that Ramsey would get a word in edgewise…or if they would end up together in the end. It was better to remain silent and wait.
“I think we should talk.”
Lexi just gritted her teeth further. Her hands were in fists at her sides. She felt foolish for putting all of this stock into their relationship and then seeing the seams unravel in the course of one afternoon.
“Are you going to say anything?” he asked.
“Are you sure you want me to say anything?” she managed to get out.
“Yes. Yes, of course, I do. I don’t, uh…I don’t know what you heard, but it’s not whatever you’re thinking.”
Lexi arched an eyebrow. Oh really?
Parker appeared in the doorway. Her face was so pallid in that moment that her freckles stood out in sharp contrast. She looked shaken and maybe even a little bit scared but definitely a little bit guilty. It was clear she hadn’t wanted Lexi to hear anything that she had said.
Well, he probably shouldn’t have said things that he didn’t want anyone else to hear!
“Lexi, I’m sorry,” Parker whispered. “I didn’t know you were standing there.”
Hold it together. Lexi took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“You should go back in there,” she said, snapping her fingers and pointing toward the bedroom.
“Lexi, I—”
“Now.”
Parker’s eyes narrowed, but Ramsey put his hand on her shoulder, and Parker held back whatever retort was on the tip of her tongue.
“Fine,” she said, turning and walking back into the room.
“It’s not her fault. It’s mine, so be angry with me.”
“Oh, I am,” Lexi said.
He ran his hand back through his hair, just like she had expected him to do when she had been listening in on their conversation. He was flustered. She was sure he was about to start rambling to try to get his thoughts together. She used to think that was cute, but if he did it right now, she was going to shut that shit down.
“We were just talking about work, and then the conversation took a turn for the worse. It doesn’t mean anything. I don’t want you to overreact or think it’s more than it is. It’s just Parker. We’ve known each other for a long time, so sometimes, we end up talking about things that—”
“Please stop talking,” she said, holding her hand up. “I really don’t need to hear it.”
“Lexi, come on.”
“You said you weren’t over it!” she yelled.
That stopped him. He just stared at her with his palms up. There wasn’t anything he could do because he couldn’t take it back.
“So, don’t come to me and say that you were just talking about something…that it doesn’t mean anything. If it didn’t mean anything, then you would be over it. You would just be friends…coworkers. You wouldn’t be having a hushed conversation in our fucking bedroom.”
“We weren’t having a hushed conversation in the bedroom. Christ, that’s not what this was, Lexi,” he said, walking toward her.
She took a step back. “The door was closed. You were talking about your relationship with Parker. She brought up marriage and told you not to forget that. Have you so easily forgotten that, Ramsey? She did just tell you not to.”
“That was years ago! I’m nowhere close to marrying Parker.”
“Lord, let’s hope not,” she said with a sarcastic drawl.
“Stop acting like this!” he bellowed. “There’s nothing going on with me and Parker.”
“Then, why aren’t you over it?” she asked, not even raising her voice. “Go ahead and try to explain it to me. I’ve explained Jack for what feels like a hundred times. So, try to explain Parker to me. Explain why you still find yourself in situations like this. Explain why I’m standing here a couple of weeks away from our three-year anniversary, having to deal with the same shit that we were dealing with two years ago. I don’t deserve this. I was able to fix things with Jack. Why the fuck can’t you fix this?”
Ramsey glanced back toward the bedroom, and his brow furrowed. “Let’s go somewhere to talk about this. We don’t have to do this standing here.”
“What? You can’t talk about this in front of Parker?” Lexi demanded. “You can’t explain your relationship around her?”
Ramsey seemed to deliberate but didn’t find an out. She certainly wasn’t going to give him one.
“You already know the story, Lexi. The fact that you’re blundering forward with this is just insane. Are you that insecure about our relationship?”
Lexi’s mouth popped open. Had he just said that? Was he trying to blame her?
“You’re going to blame me?” she gasped. “You were the one in there, talking to your ex-girlfriend about how you’re not over her! We broke up two years ago because you couldn’t seem to tell me the truth about your relationship. First, you never dated someone, never loved someone. Then, there was a girlfriend…who looks like me. Then, you were madly in love and going to get married but were quite tragically ripped apart. And, somehow, you think it’s my fault that I’m confused about what’s going on? You think I deserve to get th
e blame for this bullshit? I told you how I felt about Parker last year, and you said there was nothing you could do about it. Well, I’m starting to wonder if maybe you just didn’t want to do anything about it!”
She shook her head. She had said her peace and now, she needed to get away from there to think about what she was going to do.
Lexi turned to walk away, and Ramsey took a few steps toward her.
“Just leave me be,” she said.
But he moved forward and grabbed her arm. “You’re not leaving.”
“I need to get away from here. I need to think. I can’t be near you,” she said, tugging on her arm.
“No. You have the wrong idea.”
“Ramsey Bridges, stop it! Stop trying to dig your way out of this hole. I’m so sick of it,” she said, smacking his chest and trying to pull away.
Ramsey released her, and she stumbled a few steps.
“You drive me crazy when you’re angry. Can’t you see reason?”
“You drive me crazy when you lie! Can’t you just tell me the truth?”
“Fuck, Parker!” he cried and then froze.
Lexi’s mouth dropped open. Had he just called her Parker? Oh, fuck no!
“Lexi. I meant, Lexi,” he corrected quickly.
Lexi shook her head in horror. “I’m leaving.”
“Lexi, please…”
But she didn’t hear what he said next because she turned on her heel and bolted from the hallway. She was still dressed in her running gear, and she needed to be anywhere but there in that moment.
He had called her Parker! Oh God, she couldn’t breathe. It infuriated her! She thought she might combust.
Her hands were shaking, and her heart was thudding loudly. Who was she kidding? Her entire body was shaking, trembling, practically convulsing. She didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or anger. Maybe it was a little of both. All she knew was that she wanted to just run. She wanted to get far away, hit that point of exhaustion, that point where she wouldn’t feel anything anymore.
She pushed open the door to the deck, and Jack glanced up at her from his book. When he saw her distraught look, he put his book down on the table and stood.