Vicious Circles

by JL Paul

  “Collin,” I groaned as I sank my nails into his shoulders. I arched into him, his body like a magnet for mine. I tasted the salty skin of his neck as I kissed and nipped out my frustrations. Finally, he put me out of my misery and slipped inside me, causing me to clamp down on his neck.

  “Ow,” he chuckled as he kissed me. “That’s going to leave a mark.”

  “Sorry,” I said, not the least bit perturbed. I was too busy matching his easy rhythm as I clung to his neck.

  “No you’re not,” he laughed as he unlatched my hands and carefully pushed me flat on the mattress. He still moved slowly, bringing me pleasure like I’d never known, but he watched my face carefully; brushing the hair out of eyes or kissing the corner of my mouth. My heart pounded wildly and it was so liberating to finally be able to express verbally how I felt.

  “I love you,” I whispered as his pace picked up speed. He kissed me again, unable to talk, as passion overtook us both. Shortly after, he collapsed beside me in a gasping heap.

  I waited for his breathing to even, as well as my own, before I cuddled up next to him. As I snuggled into him, I felt his chest vibrate with suppressed chuckles.

  “What?” I asked.

  He kissed the top of my head. “I can’t believe you thought I was in love with Tori.”

  I yawned, for real, and nestled my head under his chin. “Yeah, well, what can I say? You’re a hottie with a smoking body and I thought every woman wanted you.”

  He snorted. “Whatever.” He chuckled again. “Honestly, you don’t understand how ironic that is.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite,” I said sleepily.

  “I was actually trying to get Tori and Spencer together,” he said.

  I lifted my head to try to locate his face in the nearly nonexistent light. “What?”

  “They used to sort of have a thing for each other before we even met you and Irelyn and Morgan,” he explained. “They never got together because they were both too shy to say anything. I don’t know that they ever would have, actually. But Owen stepped in and Tori fell for him. Spencer didn’t really care because some chick he met at a party started calling him and he took her out a few times. Then a couple weeks later, we met you guys.”

  “Seriously?” I asked. He nodded. “Hm.”

  “Yeah,” he said.

  “So, why were you trying to get them together?” I asked as I settled on his chest. I closed my eyes, lulled by the beat of his heart.

  “I thought maybe if Spencer and Tori hooked up, then he wouldn’t mind so much if you and I did,” he said. I was willing to bet that his cheeks were blazing red.

  I wanted to look at him – to gape actually – but I was sort of frozen. I couldn’t believe he’d actually gone to that extreme. How blind I’d been. When I looked back now and honestly thought about it, the signs were there. He’d been so sweet and attentive and I’d taken it as either acting out of guilt or friendship.

  “I think I’ve been a little blind, huh? Or stupid,” I mumbled.

  “Nah,” he said as he squeezed me. “Bailey, all this is new to you. Hell, it’s new to me, too.” He pressed his lips to my hair. “I didn’t know how you felt. I didn’t know if you just wanted a casual relationship or if you wanted something more. It drove me crazy.”

  I snorted in his chest. How could he be so unsure of himself? He didn’t have the reputation I had. The one I would now fight to get over. I didn’t want it any longer. Oh, I wouldn’t roll over and become some sunshiny sap – hell no. But I wouldn’t be afraid to let him know how I felt.

  I kissed him firmly. “You drive me crazy,” I whispered and kissed him again. I rested my chin on his chest and watched a smile cross his lips.

  “Not as crazy as you drive me,” he said. “Now sleep. Tomorrow we start all over. And it will be better than before.”

  I laughed and nestled my head under his chin. “Collin, that was more cheese than I care to ever hear again.”

  “Not on your life,” he chuckled. “It’s only going to get worse.”

  I smiled in the dark and closed my eyes. I could take it.

  Epilogue

  Hoisting my bag further over my shoulder, I hurried across the campus, eager to get to my car. The October wind was merciless as it whipped my hair, causing it to pummel my face.

  Just as the parking lot came into view, I heard someone shout my name. Uttering a groan, I stopped, pushing my hair behind me ears, and turned.

  It was Morgan.

  I waited for her to catch up to me and practiced what I’d say. I’d spotted her several times on campus, though we didn’t have any classes together, but she’d never so much as indicated that she’d seen me. This was definitely a surprise.

  “Hi,” she said shyly.

  “Hey,” I said as I tugged my coat closed to fight the wind. “What’s up?”

  “Um, are the guys playing at Rusty’s tomorrow night?” she asked, still too afraid to meet my eyes.

  “Yeah, they are,” I said, slightly amused. “You coming down?”

  She looked at me, startled, her mouth partly open. “I’m not sure.”

  I lifted a nonchalant shoulder. “Suit yourself, but I think you’d enjoy it. They’ve been working on new music and changed up their set lists.”

  She nodded, her lips in a straight line. “Listen, Bailey, I, um, I guess I sort of over reacted. I know I tend to do that.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said, waving away her words before she could hit her stride. I didn’t really care for the drawn-out, sappy, teary-eyed apology scenes. Say what you want and shut the hell up.

  A ghost of a smile flitted across her lips. “I am worried about it,” she said. “I know I was wrong but sometimes I don’t think you and Irelyn understand what it’s like being on the outside looking in.”

  I could only gape at her, momentarily stunned. “Morgan, when did we ever treat you that way?”

  She bowed her head and readjusted the strap on her bag. “It wasn’t really you two – it was me. You know what I’m like. I just get a little jealous and wish I could be more like you guys.”

  “You dumb ass,” I said. Her head shot up. “We like you for who you are. Hell, we don’t need another me or Irelyn in this little group. We need you to keep us moral. We go to hell without you.”

  A real smile appeared, along with a couple of tears, and I had an irresistible urge to hug her. I refrained, though, because all was not fine and dandy just yet. She had acted like a huge crybaby – among other things.

  “Um, I guess I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she ran a finger under each eye to banish her tears. “I really am.”

  “I know,” I said as I bobbed my head in agreement. “I am, too. I probably could have handled the whole situation better – especially the Owen thing…”

  “No, thank you for that,” she said firmly. She bit her lip. “Your friend Craig told me all about what Owen did to Tori. I didn’t want to hear it at first but he was persistent.”

  “Are you dating Craig?” I asked, brow lifted. I’d only talked to Craig a few times after the whole Owen thing blew over and he hadn’t mentioned Morgan.

  “No,” she smiled. “He’s nice and all but we just talk from time to time.”

  “Oh,” I said, wondering if she still wanted Spencer. Collin’s attempts to pair him off with Tori never really worked -she was now dating a nice guy she'd met at the church she'd started attending. And Spencer fell head over heels for Jessica, a girl who worked with Irelyn at the diner. They were sort of cute, in a disgustingly obvious way.

  “I might stop down at the bar tomorrow night,” Morgan said. She stared uneasily at the leaves blowing across the sidewalk. “I don’t know how well I’ll be received.”

  “Morgan,” I said gently. “Everyone misses you.”

  She frowned and nodded. “I have to get to work. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” I said as I watched her rush off toward her car, shoulders hunched. I
doubted seriously if she would show up at Rusty’s but at least she was making an attempt. Irelyn would be thrilled.

  When I got home, I entered the house and gratefully dropped my book bag on the floor. I was immediately assaulted by two overgrown pups jumping on my legs, eager for attention.

  “Go away you mongrels,” I said as I knelt to scratch each one behind the ears. “Go now.”

  I gave them each one more affectionate pat then stood and crept to the kitchen. I grinned as I spotted my prey standing with his back to me, hovering over a large sack of food on the table.

  “I know you’re behind me,” he said. “Don’t think you’re being sneaky.”

  “Whatever,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist. “You could pretend once in awhile.”

  He turned in my arms and kissed me, making my heart pound in my chest. “How was class?”

  “Boring,” I said as I ran my hands under his shirt. “But afterwards was sort of interesting.”

  Collin lifted a brow as he leaned in to kiss me again. “Interesting how?”

  I relayed the entire Morgan scene to him as leaned against the table in total awe. He rested his hands on my hips and pulled me between his legs so he could wind his arms around me. “Do you think she’ll be there tomorrow night?”

  “I have no clue,” I said. “I’m leaning towards the negative.”

  “Me, too,” he agreed. He kissed me quickly. “I brought Mexican home – let’s eat. The guys will be here soon to practice.”

  He described his day to me while we ate and I marveled, like I did every evening, how domestic I’d become. If I didn’t watch out, I’d turn into Irelyn.

  Collin had solved my roommate dilemma when he'd suggested I just give up the condo and move in with him. I was all for it, of course, because we always ended up together every night – either at his place or mine.

  Daddy hadn't been entirely happy about the arrangements but he hadn't stopped my allowance. Instead, he decided that I should earn it. I had no qualms about it, really, since the pool closed for the winter and I'd lost my job. It hadn’t been much to speak of but it was something to do while all my friends worked.

  But what Daddy had in mind was a little more complicated than sitting in the sun and making sure teenagers didn’t drown. He had set me up with an elaborate computer system and emailed me sales reports and other documents frequently. As I was trying to earn a Business degree, he decided a little hands-on experience couldn’t hurt. Plus, he really wanted me to join him once I graduated.

  Collin had cleared out Lucas’s old room and set me up with an impressive office. Even Daddy had marveled over it when he and Steffi had come to visit. Now, I ended up working on reports a few nights a week while juggling coursework and my still developing relationship.

  I glanced at Collin and my heart turned somersaults like it did every time I looked at him. It amazed me how much I loved him and how much he loved me. I remembered a time when I'd thought that I’d never feel this way yet here I was doubting I could ever live without him. Funny how things change.

  After we ate and cleaned up the dishes, he trapped me against the counter, shoving my hair aside so he could kiss my neck. “We have about a half hour until everyone gets here.”

  I snorted. “What do you think we can actually do in thirty minutes?”

  “Want me to draw you a picture?” he asked, his breath hot on my skin. I craned my neck to allow him better access. “How about a quickie?”

  Laughing, I hopped up on the counter. I tugged him between my knees and wrapped my legs around his waist. “A quickie is never enough for me, Collin,” I said as I kissed him. “You’ll have to wait until later.” He captured my lips again. “Besides, you know…”

  “Oh, geez,” Spencer groaned as he breezed into the kitchen, Jessica in tow. “Is that all you guys do?”

  Collin’s cheeks reddened as he edged back. He lifted me off the counter then took my hand. “We’re like rabbits, man.”

  “Too much info, bro,” Spencer grinned, shooting me a wink. “So, guess who called me today?”

  I snorted a laugh - it looked as though Morgan was making the rounds. “Um, Morgan?”

  Spencer’s brow dipped as he frowned. “How’d you know?”

  “She talked to me earlier after classes. So, what did she have to say?” I asked.

  “Just that she was sorry,” he said. “She asked how everyone was doing and stuff like that. She asked me about you and Collin and how I was handling it.”

  I snorted again and squeezed Collin’s hand. “And? How are you handling it?”

  “Bailey, Bailey, Bailey,” he said as he disengaged himself from Jessica and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Some days are better than others.” He wiped a fake tear from his eye. “But I get by.”

  I shoved him away in laughter. “What a loser.”

  “Bailey, are you in here?” Irelyn called from the front door. I rolled my eyes.

  “No,” I shouted.

  She rushed into the room, her eyes bright. “Morgan called me.”

  “Join the club,” I said.

  Her face fell slightly. “She called you, too?”

  I quickly explained my conversation near the parking lot. Irelyn nodded as she bit her lip. “Yeah, she pretty much said the same to me. So, do you think she’ll be at Rusty’s tomorrow night?”

  “I doubt it,” I said. “But it’s a start.”

  Collin kissed my cheek and gave my hip a squeeze. “Where’s Luke? Outside?” Irelyn nodded. “Great. Come on, Spence, let’s get to work.”

  ***

  Later that night, after everyone left, Collin and I snuggled in bed together. He kissed the top of my head before he reached over me and set his alarm clock.

  “You really don’t think Morgan will be at Rusty’s tomorrow?” he asked.

  “Probably not.”

  “Well, she’s called everyone – maybe she thinks she’s made amends.”

  “I don’t know,” I said as I nestled my head under his chin. “I guess we’ll just wait and see.”

  He tightened his arms around me as I closed my eyes. Maybe Morgan would surprise us and show up - but things wouldn’t be like they were before – not right away and perhaps not ever. But I couldn’t help but to hope they were on their way. I did miss Morgan – especially since the pieces of my life were finally falling into place. I liked the job my father had given me; my friendships with Irelyn, Lucas and Spencer were stronger than ever; and my love for Collin was deep. If Morgan would only come back to us, it would make things that much better.

  I squeezed my eyes tighter, a little angry at how sentimental I was becoming. Being in love was turning me into a softie. I sighed and lifted my head to look at Collin’s dozing face in the pale light. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

  As I placed my head on his chest I banished my thoughts. Who really cared if I was going soft – Collin was well worth it. And I'd finally broken that vicious circle.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Epilogue

 

 

 
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