Don't Let Go: A Full Hearts Novella

by MJ Summers

  “Yes, you’re probably better off saving them for another time. Don’t work too hard, though. You need some time to relax, too.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m taking care of myself, Mom,” Alicia responded. “Ben’s the one who’ll need some time to relax. I have a feeling he’s in for a tough time. I just hope he can do something for Ian while he’s there.”

  “If anyone can, it’s Ben. He’s such a good boy. Which reminds me that this afternoon I was going through some old things and found a box of your school stuff. Let me grab it for you.” Connie walked down the hall and into the spare bedroom, returning with a cardboard box in her arms. “You might as well take it home. It has your yearbooks. When I opened it, it made me think about your first day of fifth grade. Ben was always meant for you, wasn’t he?”

  Alicia laughed at the memory. “Pretty sure he was. Just took him so damn long to realize it.”

  “Men can be a little thick-headed when it comes to love, dear.”

  That night, as Alicia climbed into bed, she looked over at Ben’s side of the bed and a sense of loneliness settled over her. She had just gotten off the phone with Megan, having called to check on her. Alicia had offered to make the long drive to Boulder the next weekend to visit Megan and help her out. For now, she felt helpless to do anything for her friend. At least Ben would be in Georgia by now. The thought offered a glimmer of hope to both her and Megan when they spoke.

  Getting up, she crossed the room and lifted the lid off the box her mother had given her. Taking out her yearbooks, she returned to bed. She selected her fifth grade yearbook and flipped through it, smiling to herself as a wave of memories washed over her.

  TWO

  Twenty Years Earlier—1988

  Jake Mitchell walked into the head office of his sons’ school with his black cowboy hat in his hand. It was an unusually hot day for early September and Jake was sweaty and tired, having spent the day building a new riding arena for training horses. Now he was more than a little annoyed at having to stop work and drive into town to collect his boys for fighting on the first day of school. He spotted Ben and Cole, immediately giving them the raised eyebrow that he knew made both of their stomachs flip. Clicking his tongue at them, he strode past without a word and knocked gently on the principal’s open door. He went in and closed it behind him, leaving the boys to wriggle nervously on their seats for ten minutes while he heard the story and made the promises only a father can make.

  “It won’t happen again, sir. I can assure of you of that,” he said as he rose and made his way out.

  “We appreciate you taking this seriously, Mr. Mitchell.” The principal followed him to the door and gave the boys a stern look. “Not the best way to start third grade, Cole. Or fifth grade, Ben. I expect better from you both.”

  “Sorry, sir,” Ben managed to squeak out.

  “Sorry, sir,” Cole whispered, near tears.

  Thirty minutes later, Jake walked into the kitchen of their small ranch house, finding his wife, Mary, wiping the sweat from her brow with her forearm as she snapped the ends off some green beans.

  “Well? What did they do now?” she huffed.

  “It would seem that there’s a new girl in Ben’s class. That little a-hole Paul Jones challenged her to a race at recess. When she beat him, he pushed her into the mud and when she tried to get up, he shoved her down again. Ben pulled him off and started whaling on him. A couple of Paul’s friends jumped in and Cole got in there to help Ben.” Jake crossed the kitchen and washed his hands at the sink.

  Mary sighed. “On the first day of school? Couldn’t they just stay out of trouble for one day? What did the principal say?”

  “Oh, you know, fighting won’t be tolerated.” Jake opened the fridge and cracked open a beer, taking a long swig.

  “What did you tell him?”

  He handed her the beer. “I told him that I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. I told him the boys will have to clean out the barn after school for the rest of the month.”

  Mary pulled the beer back from her lips, choking on what was in her throat. “Jake! They do that every day!”

  A slow smile spread across his face as he picked up a bean and snapped the ends off it. “The way I see it, that little prick had it comin’ to him. And what Ben did shows me that he can see past the nose on his face. And Cole knows to stand by his family and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Well, I hope you didn’t let them think this was no big deal.”

  “’Course not. I scared them a little. Reminded them that they have other options than using their fists.”

  “It better work because I don’t want our boys having a reputation as fighters.”

  “There’s worse reputations they could get than standing up for a girl who’s being bullied.”

  * * *

  Cole and Ben shovelled out the horse stalls quietly, knowing their parents were in the house talking about them.

  “Hey, Ben, you think we’re in lots of trouble?” Cole asked his big brother.

  “Not sure. We’ll see if Mom comes storming out here or not. I’d say if she stays in the kitchen for the next couple of minutes, we’re okay. But if she gets her shoes on and comes out here, we’re sunk.”

  Cole stuck his sandy-blond head around the stall door to see if his mom was coming before getting back to work. “Ben, do you like that new girl?”

  Ben’s face turned a little red. “Alicia? No! I don’t have time for any dumb girls. I have better things to do.”

  * * *

  Alicia got off the bus and ran into her house with a huge smile. Her mom came in from the backyard with a load of fresh sheets she had just taken off the line.

  “Hi, honey! How was your first . . .” Her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of her daughter covered with dried mud all down one side of her body. Her plaid dress and white tights were caked with brown.

  “What happened?”

  “I met the boy I’m going to marry,” Alicia replied dreamily.

  Five Years Later—1993

  Jake strode past Ben, shaking his head. His son sat in the chair outside the principal’s office with a bag of ice over his broken nose.

  “I don’t want to keep meeting you here, Ben.”

  “I know, Dad. I’m sorry. One of the guys unzipped the back of a girl’s dress in the lunchroom. I just couldn’t let that go.”

  Jake nodded his head knowingly as he walked through the door to the principal’s office.

  “Mr. Mitchell?” Ben heard the principal’s loud voice as the door closed behind his dad.

  Fifteen minutes later, Jake and Ben walked out into the parking lot of the school. The hot Colorado sun beat down on them as they made their way to the truck. “Anything hurt other than your nose?”

  “Nope.”

  “Let me take a look,” Jake ordered. Ben lowered the bag, revealing his twisted nose and deep purple circles forming under his eyes.

  “Your coach is not going to be happy when he sees your face. Let’s go see the doc. Otherwise, you’re going to be holding your spoon sideways to smell your food from now on.”

  The pair climbed into the truck.

  “That girl that had her dress unzipped, it wouldn’t happen to be Alicia Williams, would it?” Jake inquired as he started the truck.

  “It would be,” Ben answered sheepishly.

  “She’s a nice girl. You could do a lot worse.”

  “She’s just a friend, Dad,” Ben muttered as he slumped in the seat next to him.

  “Your mom and I were together when we were seventeen,” Jake said, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

  “Yeah, well, I’m only fifteen and there’s no way I’m going to get married straight out of high school and stay in Colorado for the rest of my life. That’s not how it’s done these days, Dad.”

  “Oh, it’s not, hey?” Jake asked with a little grin to himself.

  “No, it’s not. Nowadays, people travel and see the world and then t
hey decide where they want to live and if they are going to get married. They don’t just pick the first girl they see and get hitched. That type of boredom would kill me.”

  “I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been bored with your mom,” Jake replied evenly.

  “Well, I’m not you, Dad. I’m going to make the majors and play ball and be rich and see the world. And someday I’m sure I’ll meet someone but it sure isn’t going to be Alicia Williams.”

  “Alright, Ben. You set your own course in life. That’s what a man’s got to do.”

  “Exactly.”

  * * *

  That evening, Alicia lay across the bed on her stomach looking through her yearbooks. The pages with photos of Ben had been opened so many times that the books now fell open to those spots automatically. A newspaper clipping featuring him playing in Little League was carefully tucked into the centre of the book. She sighed happily, thinking about Ben. He had rescued her again today, punching Mike Thompson square in the jaw and knocking him to the floor before he quickly zipped her dress back up. If he hadn’t taken the time to zip her up, he would have seen the blow coming at him from Mike, who had picked up a metal lunch tray from the table behind him, aiming it at Ben’s face viciously.

  He had taken what would have been a humiliating situation and instead turned it into something that made her heart skip a beat when she thought of it. He had acted so quickly that no one would have had the chance to even see her bare skin or the band of her bra. She could feel his strong hands on her back and she sighed, thinking of his protective response to anyone trying to upset her. She was his and she always had been. There was no one else for Alicia Williams and there never would be. Now if only he would realize how perfect they were for each other . . .

  Three Years Later—1996

  Alicia pulled up to the ranch in her mom’s car. Beside her, she had the homework assignments that Ben had missed during his latest suspension. She brought her textbooks with her, doubting that he had bothered to pick up his own on his way out of the school. She had dressed carefully, spending an hour trying on clothes and touching up her makeup until she felt like she looked her best without seeming to have tried too hard. She wore a pair of blue denim overall shorts and a fitted pink tank top that was cropped above her waist, showing off her tanned sides. She had carefully styled her hair exactly like Rachel from Friends before sliding on her white Keds.

  Stepping out of the car, she picked up the papers and her backpack and stood listening for a second. She could hear the sound of a bat cracking and then two voices hooting with excitement. A ball flew over the barn, hitting the ground with a thump before rolling to Alicia’s feet. A moment later, Ben and Cole ran around in search of the ball. Ben stopped short when he saw Alicia, causing Cole to collide into his big brother’s back, falling onto his butt on the dusty driveway. Ben was propelled forward a couple of feet before he straightened and gave her a little wave.

  “Hey, what the . . . ?” Cole yelled, stopping midsentence when he saw what had brought his brother to a sudden halt.

  Ben turned and helped Cole up, giving Alicia an intoxicating view of his bare back. He was dressed in only jeans and cowboy boots. Her eyes drank in the sight of his lean, ripped upper body for far too long before travelling up to his face when he turned back. He looked hot and sweaty, but his slow smile, just for her, made her stomach turn over. She picked up the ball and tossed it up, catching it with a grin. “Nice hit.”

  “Oh yeah? Is that what it takes to impress a girl like you?” Ben asked, sauntering over to pluck the ball out of her hand.

  Alicia laughed, blushing as he came closer. “Depends on who’s doing the hitting. I heard the principal gave you a week’s vacation so I thought I’d bring your homework for you. I thought maybe I could help you get caught up before finals.”

  Ben nodded, looking down at his feet for a moment before answering. “That’s an offer I can’t refuse. My coach said anyone who doesn’t pass is off the team, and that wouldn’t look good for the scouts.”

  “Well, good thing I came, then.” Alicia stared into his hazel eyes but she couldn’t help but hold the image of his lean, muscled torso. It was now etched in her brain and was stirring feelings that were new to her.

  “Wanna sit outside? There’s a picnic table behind the barn,” he said as he started in the direction of the old building. Looking at his brother, he said, “I’ll get you to throw some more pitches tomorrow, okay? You should probably head in and get your homework done too.”

  Cole grinned at his big brother, looking ready to tease him but clearly deciding against it when Ben threw him a warning glance. “Good night, Alicia!” he called sweetly as he walked in the direction of the house.

  Ben and Alicia settled themselves on the same side of the picnic table, Alicia arranging their books, taking out her notes. They worked until the sun disappeared behind the mountain, laughing and talking as Alicia caught him up on what he had missed. She noticed him stealing glances at her when they were supposed to be working and her knees felt weak when she thought of him lowering his mouth over hers. She decided to turn up the heat a little.

  “Are you looking down my overalls?” she inquired when she saw him glance down at her side again.

  Ben’s face turned red. “No, but if I were, it would only be because I was wondering what happened to the rest of your shirt.”

  It was Alicia’s turn to blush. “That’s the style, Ben. Why? Do you not approve?”

  Ben grinned down at her. “Oh, I approve alright. It’s just a little bit hard for me to concentrate on these math questions with most of your shirt missing.”

  “Hmm,” Alicia said, doing her best imitation of a teacher. “Keep your eyes on your work, Mr. Mitchell.”

  “Then tomorrow wear clothes that aren’t missing parts.”

  Later that evening, as she started the car to go home, she groaned at the wild fire of desire and frustration now burning up her insides. For eight long years now, she had only had eyes for Ben and she had felt certain that tonight would be the night they would make it official. He had had so many chances that night to kiss her, but for some reason he had held back. There were several perfect moments, but he had let each opportunity slip by. Alicia slapped her palm on the steering wheel, regretting that she hadn’t been bold enough to take things into her own hands.

  * * *

  Alicia lunged at the phone, managing to pick it up on the second ring before her parents could. It had been two weeks since she started helping Ben with his studying and in that time, she had gotten used to hearing from him almost every day.

  “Hello?” she answered, her heart pounding at the hope of who was on the other end of the line.

  “Hey, Alicia. It’s Ben. I was thinking maybe I should take you out for a burger or something to thank you for all of your help getting me through senior year. I figure I owe you.”

  Alicia silently screamed into the air, jumping up and down for a moment before responding. Trying to sound casual, she lowered her voice. “Sure, Ben. When were you thinking of going?”

  “How about tomorrow night?”

  “Sure. Pick me up around six?”

  “Will do.”

  The next afternoon found Alicia rushing around her bedroom, trying on clothes, tossing discarded choices on her bed and then digging through the pile, trying desperately to put together the perfect outfit. She finally settled on a black miniskirt with a light blue polo shirt. She combed her hair up into a high, tight ponytail and carefully applied some cherry lip gloss. Just as she started to second-guess the skirt, the doorbell rang. Heart pounding, she flew down the stairs, hoping to get to the door before her dad.

  Grabbing her jean jacket off the hook, she shouted, “Bye!” to her parents and opened the door to see Ben standing in front of her in jeans and a white T-shirt, looking gorgeous.

  He smiled and punched her on the arm lightly. “Hey, Leesh.”

  Alicia skipped down the steps, keeping up with his long st
rides. “So, where are we going?”

  “The Dive?”

  “Yup. I hope you brought lots of money because I’m starving.” She grinned as he opened the passenger door to his dad’s truck for her.

  When they got to the restaurant, it was packed and there was a lineup at the door. Ben looked down at her. “Takeout?”

  Alicia smiled. “Sure.”

  Twenty minutes later, Ben was pulling the truck to a stop near Red Rock Canyon, just outside of town. He grabbed a horse blanket from behind the seat and then the bag of food. Alicia brought the drinks and followed him down a path that led through an opening in the tall, jagged red rock. They walked a little way before coming to a small lake. The sun was lowering in the sky and the warm air seemed to caress Alicia’s bare legs and arms as they settled themselves on the blanket near the lake. Ben stretched out, propping himself on one arm to pull the burgers and fries out of the bag. Alicia sat near him, legs folded to the side. There was nowhere on earth that she would rather be than here in this beautiful spot with him sitting next to her. It felt like home and, for Alicia, it was the only place she would ever want to be. A quiet fell over the pair as they ate, Alicia trying not to let the ketchup drip down her chin.

  A nervous tension seemed to fill the space between then. They were alone in a very romantic place for the first time in both their young lives. Alicia was more than ready for her first kiss with this boy whom she had loved for so long now. Ben stared out at the lake as he munched on the fries, seeming unsure what to say.

  “So, what are you going to do when school’s over?” Alicia asked finally.

  “Oh, I’m gonna play baseball. I got drafted to the minors. I’m heading to Salem in a couple of days,” Ben replied quietly.

  “Really?” Alicia tried to push down her disappointment. “That’s so exciting for you! I can’t believe you never mentioned it before.”

  “Aw, it would have sounded like bragging. Besides, it’s no big deal really. I went thirty-eighth round in the draft. The chances that I’ll make the majors are lower than me winning the lottery.” Ben shrugged.