The Wolf Within

by M. J. Scott

  My heart bumping crazily, I held my breath and listened. Nothing. Silence. My ears picked out a vague hum of traffic, the louder gurgling of my refrigerator and the tick of the clock on the wall above my hall table. Nothing to cause the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up the way they were.

  Not that I was likely to hear a vamp or were if they lay in wait. Jase or Dan would know in a second but I had to rely on human senses. I waited, straining to hear, trying to keep my breathing soft despite the panicked thumping of my heart. The house smelled normal, like the lilies on my hall table and a faint hint of coffee from breakfast. Nothing out of the ordinary. No subtle buzz in the air that might mean a were nearby.

  “There’s an agent right outside,” I told myself firmly. I was just being jumpy. Dan had spooked me more than I’d known. I took a deep breath, reached out carefully and flicked the light switch.

  The weird feeling vanished as warm yellow light flooded the hall, and I sighed with relief. Then froze as another sensation replaced the weirdness. One just as disquieting. Loneliness. My house felt empty. No warmth. No life. No other person to give me a hug and tell me I was okay. That I didn’t have to do it all alone. I’d had that once but now there was just me and an empty house. Empty enough to make me do something stupid.

  Like haul out my cell and dial Dan.

  He answered before I had a chance to think better of it. “Hello?”

  I’d expected a sleepy voice but he sounded wide awake. And there was noise in the background. Voices and laughter and music.

  Was he out?

  “It’s Ashley. I—”

  “Is everything okay?” His agent voice, all controlled and professional. Suddenly I felt foolish.

  “Yes, I—” I stopped as more laughter bubbled up in the background. Female laughter. My hand curled tight around the phone. Now I really wanted to know where he was. “Sorry, I’m interrupting.”

  “It’s fine. I’m. . . .” he hesitated, just for a second. “I’m at a pack meeting.”

  A pack meeting. With the other werewolves. With female werewolves, presumably. Ones who probably didn’t mind at all that he was a werewolf. For a moment I had an insane urge to cry. But, somehow, I kept it together. “Isn’t it kind of late?”

  “We had a couple of successful First Changes last week. We’re still celebrating.”

  “Oh.” First Change. That was a big deal. For the kids, it happened around puberty. For those who got bitten—voluntarily or not—the first full moon after they got infected. Not everyone survived, so successful transitions were cause for joy. And week long parties, it seemed.

  “I should let you go.”

  “Ash, why did you call?”

  I’d bite my tongue off before saying ‘I’m lonely and I miss you’. Not when he was out partying with the very people who’d taken him from me. I focused on the anger in that thought. Anger was easy. I was used to it. And it helped keep the other stuff away. “I just wanted to tell you that if you don’t want me to know I’m under surveillance, you’d better tell your boys to pick more appropriate vehicles for their location.”

  “Who says I didn’t want you to know?”

  “For Christ’s sake, Daniel. I’m not a child.”

  “What’s that got to do with anything? Tate might be out there. He won’t care how mature you are when he rips your throat out.”

  I knew he was right. I was more than happy someone was watching out for me. I just hated the fact it was Daniel. And it was turning me into a four year old. A four year old thoroughly creeped-out by the image he’d just put in my mind. “And if he finds me then whose fault is that?” Which was completely unfair. If the pictures were anything to go by, Tate had no trouble keeping track of anyone he wanted to.

  Dan swore. “You know, this is fun but if you’re just calling to bitch at me, then perhaps it can wait until morning.”

  “Fine.”

  All I got in reply was silence. My cell showed he’d disconnected. Great. I slid down the wall till I was sitting then tipped my head back to bang it gently against the plaster a few times.

  I had to stay away from Daniel. All the energy between us had to go somewhere and if it wasn’t being used for sex then it would drive us both crazy as we took swipes at each other.

  After I’d finished calling myself five kinds of idiot, I hauled myself to my feet and walked to my bedroom. Every light in the house was blazing by the time I’d finished the trip and I’d satisfied myself no monsters were hiding in the closets or under the bed.

  But despite the evidence of my eyes, I couldn’t shake the unease, probably due to Dan’s latest charming image. I kept picturing Tate looming out of the darkness. Kept picturing someone finding me in the sort of dark clotted pool of blood I’d found my parents lying in.

  I wasn’t getting to sleep any time soon. And I didn’t want to work. I wanted contact. Any kind of contact.

  So I changed into my slinkiest jeans, spiked heels a dominatrix would be proud of and a silver halter top Jase had given me for my last birthday. It had about as much material in it as a handkerchief, so I’d never actually worn it in public until tonight. But tonight I was feeling defiant. I needed to do something alive. Needed to feel alive.

  I slicked on eye shadow, a double coat of mascara and my favorite red lipstick then picked up the phone again to make another call. To someone I knew would be awake and up for whatever wildness it would take to soothe me.

  Forty-five minutes later, the cab dropped me in front of Plasma and I smiled as Jase opened the door for me. “Remind me to give you a bonus this year.”

  Jase grinned, then whistled as he looked me up and down approvingly. “You give me a bonus every year. Looks like someone else might be getting one tonight. You look fab. I have great taste.”

  I grinned back, feeling some of my fears recede as we moved toward the club. Even from the sidewalk music pounded. “Sometimes.” We bypassed the shorter than normal queue presided over by a vamp bouncer. Jase always got into the best clubs, straight or gay, living or dead.

  “What are we drinking?” Jase yelled as the music swirled around us, a funky pop beat that was just what the doctor ordered.

  I shrugged at him. “Surprise me.”

  He laughed and vanished into the crowd toward the bar. I made my way to a tiny table near the dance floor and watched the crowd flow to the beat. Plasma is a neutral club—sure it plays up the blood theme with black walls, neon red dance floor and gimmicky drinks served in blood packs but that’s as dangerous as it got. Open to humans and non-humans as long as everyone behaved, it attracted the curious, the hip and the just-out-for-a-good-time. Vamps like Jase who had little interest in snacking on humans, the occasional were, and humans who were fine with supernaturals who weren’t scary.

  The no biting, no nonsense policy was strictly enforced by the club’s owner and his crew of vamp bouncers. Anyone who didn’t want to play nice, or was interested in playing the sorts of games that went on in the dark clubs, was quickly weeded out and sent on their way.

  It was crazy and fun and full of beautiful people who knew how to shake their asses. And relatively quiet for a Friday. Normally a table by the dance floor would be prime real estate. I frowned slightly, scanning the crowd. Plenty of humans. A good sprinkling of weres, which made sense given the moon had been full last week. Not so many vamps.

  Fine by me. Maybe there was a party on at one of the other clubs. Jase reappeared with two glasses brimming with bright green fluid.

  I took a cautious sniff. “What’s in that?”

  He wrinkled his nose. “Don’t ask.”

  Fair enough. I didn’t really care. I drained half the glass and dragged Jase onto the dance floor as the music grew louder.

  We danced for a while, shaking off the offers from the guys who flocked around both of us. After half an hour or so, I was getting thirsty. I made a drinking motion to Jase and headed to the bar.

  “Water. And two of those green things.”
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br />   The bartender nodded then looked past me and batted his eyelashes. I turned to find Jase at my shoulder.

  “Sweetie, there are several gorgeous young men waiting for you to return.” He reached past me for the glass beside mine.

  I shrugged and sipped my drink.

  Jase laughed and waggled the little paper skeleton hanging from his drink at me. “That’s just mean. You can’t go out dressed like that and spend all night dancing with me.”

  “Am I cramping your style?”

  He shook his head. He wasn’t dating anyone at the moment, having had his heart stomped on a few months earlier. “You’re cramping yours. Why don’t you take one of those guys home with you and work out the kinks?”

  Tempting. A few hours of sweaty sex and I might sleep like a baby. I’m not a nun, I haven’t been celibate for four years but somehow I knew whoever I took home, the only face I’d see above me tonight would be Dan’s. And that wasn’t going to relax me at all. “I’d rather just dance.” I swiveled on my barstool, surveying the crowd, which had thinned out even more. “It’s a little quiet here tonight. Is there something on somewhere else?”

  Jase looked down at his drink and took a swig. It wouldn’t do him any good, alcohol doesn’t affect vampires, but Jase hadn’t been a vamp long enough to shake all his human habits.

  “Jase?”

  He hitched a shoulder. “Maybe.”

  His tone made the booze in my stomach slosh uneasily. “What does maybe mean? Is something going on?”

  “No.”

  Which either meant ‘no’ or ‘I don’t want to tell you’. The range of possibilities I didn’t want to hear about in the vamp world was huge. But I didn’t think Jase was avoiding telling me about something bloody going down at one of the dark clubs. “I don’t believe you.”

  That earned me a sigh. “I thought you wanted to have fun?”

  “I do. I also want to know what the hell is going on.”

  “Just rumors.”

  “Rumors?” My voice went higher than I’d intended and I gulped some more of the green stuff. It had a kick like a zombie and went a little way toward calming the sudden swirl of nerves in my stomach. “What sort of rumors?”

  “Vague ones.” Jase looked serious. “Not even rumors really. People are just . . . nervous.”

  By people he didn’t mean humans. Nervous vamps. Wonderful. Not exactly a sign of good times ahead. “About what?” I started shredding the little paper skeleton. I kind of already knew what he was going to say.

  “Tate. People are starting to say he’s back.”

  Fuck. The FBI had a fucking leak. Or the vamp grapevine was even better than Aunt Bug’s. I glanced around. I couldn’t see any vamps close by and the pounding music would help stop anyone trying to listen in. Still, I dropped my voice to a whisper. “It’s just one account. It might not be even be Tate.”

  Jase flashed a smile that was more fang than happiness. “Maybe. But like I said. People are nervous.”

  Nervous enough to stay out of the clubs. Tate was a non-discriminatory monster. He preyed on supernaturals as well as humans, if they were foolish enough to get in his way. So from their point of view, staying out of the human clubs would be sensible if Tate was about to resurface. And if the vamps were restless maybe it wasn’t a cold case at all.

  I scanned the crowd, all urge to party suddenly gone. Obviously the rumors hadn’t gotten as far as the weres yet but it couldn’t take long. They’d notice the lack of vamps in a couple of days and start to wonder why. Then the humans and, inevitably, the press would get wind of it.

  Then Dan would have more than just me making his life miserable.

  And people other than me would have a psycho vamp haunting their dreams. The entire population of my hometown for a start.

  Great.

  I scowled at my drink then drained it.

  “Wanna keep dancing?” Jase asked.

  I could tell his heart wasn’t in it. “How about we go back to your place?” I didn’t feel like going home to my empty house, agents or no agents. And my place wasn’t set up for Jase. No blood. No windowless rooms if he did want to sleep. His place was better. For one thing, it meant any monsters coming after me would have to go through him.

  Jase reached over and squeezed my hand. “It’s going to be okay, sweetie.”

  I nodded, not believing it for a second. If Tate was really back then there’d be blood and pain before this was over. I just hoped it would be his, not mine or that of anyone I cared about.

  Chapter Six

  “Late night?” Aunt Bug drawled as she opened her hotel door to me at half past too-goddamn-early the next morning.

  I winced. Bug never spoke softly and the noise level made the nails currently spiking my brain spike harder. “Kind of.” Next time I’d find out what was in the drinks. Letting a vamp determine the appropriate alcohol content was not such a good idea. I’d managed a couple of hours sleep at Jase’s before I’d had to go home, change and get into town to meet Bug. Emphasis on the couple. Like two.

  Her mouth quirked. “The good kind?”

  I shook my head. “Not really.”

  “Hmmm.”

  She examined my face and I fought the urge to drop my gaze to the floor like a teenager caught crawling in after curfew.

  “Well, come in. Room service just brought up some coffee.”

  Coffee sounded like heaven. I let my nose lead me into the living room of Bug’s suite and practically inhaled the first cup.

  “Better?” Bug asked, pouring a refill.

  I nodded as the caffeine started to do its job and the nails retreated a little. “Much.”

  “I assume it wasn’t Daniel keeping you up all hours?”

  “Not in the way you think. And can we hold off on the Daniel talk until I’m awake?”

  She arched one finely drawn eyebrow at me, head tilted to one side. Her gray hair was piled into its usual smooth bun, showing off her still great cheekbones and focusing attention on her nose. The Keenan nose, sharp like a blade. Luckily I’d escaped that little family legacy. Overall, her expression put me in mind of a grandmotherly eagle.

  I gulped more coffee, trying not to feel like something small and furry waiting to be pounced on.

  “As you wish.” She picked up her own cup. Her movements were, as always, graceful and controlled.

  In my current sleep-deprived, hung-over state, I felt like a slob in comparison and straightened on the sofa. “What did you want to do today?”

  “I thought CoCA. Then shopping.” Her mouth curved up. “But maybe we should start with a facial?”

  Did I look that bad? Oh well. A facial sounded heavenly. Definitely better than contemporary art. The day spa attached to the hotel was wonderful and Aunt Bug couldn’t grill me with a face covered in mud. Plus I might even be able to catch a nap. “Sounds great. I’ll call the concierge.”

  Seven hours later I felt much better. After a facial, lunch and a coordinated blitz of the all the best downtown shops, everything was back to normal. I’d coaxed Aunt Bug into getting a makeover at Sephora then giggled as she earned a whistle from a couple of old guys hanging out at the deli near the hotel.

  “See, Aunt B. You’ve still got it.”

  She rolled her eyes at me but she was blushing. “Don’t be silly, Ashley. Those men should know better.” She stopped in front of a jewelry store and peered in at the display, avoiding looking at me.

  I laughed. “They’re old, not dead.”

  “And you’re young, not old. Do you want to start talking about your love life?”

  I saw her eyebrows arch in her reflection in the window and shook my head hastily. “Nothing to talk about. How about you? Is the Reverend chasing you around the pews yet? Or that guy from bridge . . . what’s his name?”

  “Stanley. And he’s just a friend.”

  “Men never want to be just a friend, Aunty.”

  She turned from the store window and pinned me with the eagle
eye again. “That’s a very cynical view of life. You and Jason are friends.”

  “Jase is gay. And a vampire.”

  “You and Dan were friends.”

  Yeah for about two weeks before we decided we’d better jump each other before we spontaneously combusted. “And look how well that ended.”

  “He loved you.”

  “He’s a werewolf. And I really don’t want to talk about him.”

  “So you keep telling me.” The tone said she wasn’t really ready to drop one of her favorite subjects but that she’d let me off for now. She looked at her watch. “It’s time to go back to the hotel and get changed for dinner, anyway.”

  Three martinis, one rib-eye and a decadent chocolate mousse later, Bug finally returned to the topic of Dan.

  “Are you going to tell me about this case you’re working on?”

  “I can’t really.”

  “It must be serious for the FBI to be involved. You did say Daniel worked for the FBI now, didn’t you?”

  I hadn’t but what did that matter? Bug’s grapevine had provided her with the information anyway. “Yes, he does. And yes, it’s serious. But there’s nothing for you to worry about.” I twisted in my seat, signaling for another round of drinks so she wouldn’t see my face as I lied.

  She’d never give up pushing and prodding at me if she got the faintest hint there was something to worry about. And she wouldn’t stop worrying for a second if she had any inkling Tate might be back on the scene.

  She’d given me my freedom as a kid. In fact, she’d practically forced me out the door and back into some semblance of a normal life. Still, it had definitely cost her at times. She stayed up ‘til I got home and she very rarely slept before I was safely tucked up in bed, the doors were all locked, and the alarms switched on.

  She worried about me. Worried I wouldn’t ever get over losing my family and have a normal life. Worried more about what might happen to me if I did. She’d been overjoyed when I’d fallen so hard for Daniel straight out of college.

  Maybe that’s why she hadn’t quite let go of him yet; she was looking for someone who’d protect me as fiercely as she had. Who loved me as much as she did. Someone to keep me safe when she couldn’t any longer.