by Anita Notaro
‘That’s a shame, he’s gorgeous.’ I felt the oddest pull towards this mutt; maybe it was time to get another pet, after all.
I left them at the roadway where I always parked the bike, preferring to walk down the lane and savour the incredible colours that seemed to change every time I visited. As I waited for a tractor to pass, I could hear Dinny and Bart practising ‘Heel’ as they headed back down the lane. His life was yet another story that I was on the fringes of. I just hoped I could stay that way. When I looked back as I pulled off, Pete was dancing along beside me, and it was only when I came to the main road that he left me. My last image of him was tail down, clearly asking me why I wasn’t taking him with me. I was going soft in the head, I decided, refusing to look back again. That dog’s eyes were almost human.
Maddy rang just as I pulled in to the van and took off my helmet. It was the only thing I missed about the car, not being able to chat on my hands-free phone.
‘What plans have you to take me out on the town and out of my misery this weekend?’ she wanted to know immediately.
‘Actually, I was looking forward to getting home, ordering Chinese, having a glass of wine and watching telly. Can you believe that?’
‘Worrying,’ she said. ‘But just what I need. Can I come stay in your trailer?’
‘Yes, please.’ I was delighted. ‘I have a nice bottle of red and even a few cold beers.’
‘Done. I’ll collect the food. Usual?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘Fantastic,’ she sighed an hour and a half later as we tucked in to a selection of dishes, warm and cosy, candle lighting and a choice of decent TV at our fingertips. ‘Shame we’re not a couple – I could be snuggling up to you, at least.’
‘Not with those smelly feet,’ I teased her. Maddy’s feet were legendary in our circle. We were always buying her odour-eaters and stuff as a joke at Christmas. ‘God, what are we like all the same? We should be out having fun.’
‘I know. I’m just too knackered all the time.’ Maddy yawned.
‘But you’re not even working at the moment,’ I reminded her.
‘Well, I am really. I did a voiceover yesterday.’ She sounded wounded.
‘So what did you have to say then? Go on, tell me the huge effort you made?’
‘I said . . .’ She put on a high-pitched Cork accent: ‘Betsy’s Boutique, where classy Corkonians catch the latest clobber.’
‘Yep, I can see why you’re exhausted. Here, let me pour your wine, I’m worried about your energy levels,’ I told her. ‘By the way, I met a dog today. He had eyes like Gnasher. I suspect the people who own him don’t really want him.’
‘Rescue him immediately,’ Maddy said, flicking channels. She discovered Jonathan Ross just starting, so that was the end of that.
We fell into bed around midnight, and she told me jokes through the wall till I threatened to smother her with her own pillow. It was one of the great things about a mobile home: the walls were paper-thin, so conversation was easy. Maddy claimed she could even hear me fart. It was like being in the Girl Guides again.
Next morning, she had a plan. ‘Enough is enough,’ she declared. ‘One of the guys in the show is opening in a new play in the Olympia tonight. There’s a party afterwards. Should be a laugh. Will we head into town and have a look in?’
‘You mean go to the play?’ I hadn’t been to the theatre in ages; it sounded fun.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, I’ve seen the script. It’s a new production. Worst thing I’ve read in yonks. It’ll close within a week, trust me. No, I was thinking about heading for the Old Stand, or Hogan’s or even that gay bar, what d’ya call it?’ She grinned. ‘Or all three, maybe? Then nip across the road around eleven, air-kiss all the luvvies and grab a few free drinks.’
‘I’m still off booze,’ I told her, grimacing.
‘Sure didn’t you have wine last night?’
‘Only one glass. My first since that night.’
‘Well then, you’re back in business. Right, I’ll head home, do a few jobs and meet you at the Dart station at nine?’
‘You’re on, I haven’t been in town on a Saturday night in weeks.’ Suddenly, I feel young. And giddy. ‘Let’s go party.’ I jumped up and started tidying.
‘Steady on, it’s only backstage at the Olympia, hardly a major attraction. Still, you’re right, you never know what might happen.’ She was gone.
We ended up doing a bit of a pub crawl, but I watched my intake, never wanting a repeat performance of what had become known as ‘the Mickey night’, because of Mike’s name and me trying to have sex with him. It still ranked – even at this distance – as one of the worst nights of my life.
In the George – the gay bar that Maddy was determined to check out – we bumped into Bronwyn and Susie. Both looked remarkably happy, dancing like they were glued together and laughing aloud.
‘Want to meet the luscious lezzers?’ I asked Maddy.
‘Oh my God, yes. Lead me to them.’ She grabbed my hand and we headed across the floor.
‘Lulu, darling, what a lovely surprise,’ Bronwyn gave me a huge hug.
I made the introductions, and I could tell Maddy was impressed. The girls looked stunning, Bronwyn in a turquoise silk wrapover dress, and Susie, all blonde and bubbly in a baby-pink smock dress that made her boobs look huge.
‘Are you two a couple?’ Bronwyn asked immediately.
‘I tried, but she wasn’t having any,’ Maddy told them.
‘Well, darling, Susie wasn’t sure either when I met her.’ Bronwyn pulled her partner close. ‘And look at us now.’ She swung Susie in a twirl and laughed.
‘How’s the dog?’ I felt obliged to ask.
‘Long story, we’ll be in to see you next week.’ Bronwyn raised her eyes upwards as the music started again and the floor filled, mostly with gyrating guys in tight trousers. ‘Are you here for the night?’
‘No, we’re on our way to a luvvie party,’ I told her. ‘Talk to you soon.’ I grabbed Maddy before she started gyrating herself.
‘Ouch, I was just getting into that.’ She pulled her hand away as I dragged her outside.
‘That’s what I was afraid of. Come on, there’s people to meet, drinks to be taken.’
We ran across the road, and Maddy blagged her way backstage, as usual, kissing the security guy and calling everyone ‘darling’ as she went. I loved being out with her.
In the green room there were quite a few celebrities from the telly.
‘Must be a slow night in town,’ Maddy whispered. ‘Now, what are you having? And none of that sparkling-water shite . . .’
‘Go on, I’ll have a glass of white wine,’ I told her and stood beside her while she managed to grab the barman’s attention immediately, even though the queue was four deep.
‘Madeleine, is that you?’ a soft voice asked, and we both turned together to come face to face with Ronan O’Meara and a red-haired woman of about thirty.
‘Ellen,’ Maddy screamed. ‘My God, girl, it’s been yonks. How are you?’ She handed me my drink, hugged the young woman and smiled at Ronan. ‘This is my friend Lou . . . lu.’ She never remembered.
‘Hello.’ Ronan’s look was cool.
‘Hi Ronan, nice to see you again.’
‘You two know each other?’ Maddy had decided she liked him, I knew that look.
‘Yes, Lulu’s been helping me with my dog. Well, he’s not mine but he thinks he is.’ He seemed to like the look of Maddy too.
‘Sounds like a problem to me, but no better woman to sort it out. I’m Maddy – haven’t been Madeleine since I became a luvvie.’ She grinned.
‘Hi.’ I noticed he held her gaze. ‘Sorry, Lulu, this is my sister Ellen.’ I smiled and shook her hand. ‘How do you two know each other?’ I asked Maddy.
‘Ellen and I were in an amateur theatre production years back. We were great pals but then we lost touch.’ Maddy made a face. ‘She found a man and moved to Donegal.’
Something clicked in my brain. Ellen. Donegal. Wasn’t that who Myrtle said had taken over looking after Ronan’s son? I was pretty sure I was right.
‘So, how’ve you been?’ Maddy wanted to know all. ‘Still married? Any kids?’
‘One little boy,’ Ellen smiled. ‘Lucas, he’s two,’ she said without hesitating. She didn’t look uneasy as she said it.
‘Any photos?’
‘No, not on me.’ Ellen smiled. ‘How come you’re here?’ She was making an effort to include myself and Ronan.
‘I work with Gary, who’s playing the male lead,’ Maddy said, waving at a couple but bringing her eyes quickly back to Ronan. ‘How about you?’
‘My friend Patsy from college is also involved,’ Ellen said. ‘So I dragged my brother out to keep me company in the Big Smoke for the weekend. Have to make the most of it, what’s seldom is wonderful.’ She laughed. She was very pretty in a classic Irish-beauty kind of way – pale skin, copper hair and freckles.
‘Can I get you another drink?’ Ronan asked, and Maddy swallowed at least half of her almost full beer.
‘I’d love a bottle of Miller,’ she said immediately.
‘Lulu?’
‘No thanks, I’m fine.’ I felt like we should move away and leave them to it. He looked uncomfortable, which is why he offered to get a drink, I suspected. Ellen also shook her head.
He was back almost immediately, the initial after-show surge having cleared to a trickle. Somehow Ellen and I ended up chatting, as Maddy had become even more interested in Ronan once she had discovered they were brother and sister.
Eventually, some of Maddy’s friends claimed us. She tried to persuade Ronan and his sister to join us, but Ellen announced she’d promised to call in to another party later. ‘It’s the never-get-out syndrome, I’m afraid.’ She waved as they headed off, but not before Ellen had taken Maddy’s number and asked her to meet for coffee the following day.
We partied on and left much later than planned.
‘I want to know all about him.’ Maddy linked my arm in hers as we headed for a cab. She’d just decided she was staying with me again. ‘And don’t leave anything out.’
18
WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE OFFICE AT LUNCHTIME ON MONDAY, THE nearest I was getting to not working that day, I rang Father Vincent and asked for his help. He remembered my voice and was as pleasant as he’d been last time.
‘So, my dear, who is it you’re trying to get in touch with?’
‘It’s not me, as I said. It’s actually a client of mine.’
‘And do you mind me asking what you do?’
‘Well, I’m actually helping him with his dog, he’s having some behavioural problems.’ It was never easy to explain what I did.
‘Fascinating. Sort of a psychiatrist for animals, eh? Do you know what, as far as I’m concerned, most animals are fine. It’s their owners that need changing.’
He was a lot closer to the truth than he knew. ‘Sometimes, that’s true, but dogs are smart, too. They take advantage if you let them.’
‘Don’t we all.’ He laughed. ‘I’ve been getting away with it for years actually. Anyway, tell me the name of the person your client wants to get in touch with. And why doesn’t he just ring me himself, if you don’t mind me asking?’
‘I think he’s a bit nervous, to be honest. He seems to have lost contact with them over the years.’
‘No problem at all. That often happens. Now, what are their names, and I’ll look them up for you?’
I told him and was surprised at his immediate response.
‘Well, I don’t have to look them up at all. Joan is an old friend at this stage. And Catherine, her daughter, is a lovely girl, inside as well as out.’
‘Oh, great, thank you.’ I didn’t know what else to add really.
‘May I ask who your client is, or would you rather not disclose that information?’
‘Would it be OK if I just let him know you are still in touch with them and see if he wants to take it from there?’
‘Certainly. And tell him to call me any time. And please, feel free to come back to me again yourself if there’s anything else.’
‘Thank you so much. And I can tell him that they’re both well?’
‘Yes, tell him Joan is thriving. And Catherine finished second level this summer and got top marks in all her exams. She’s decided she wants to study medicine and has just been accepted by Newcastle University.’
‘That’s great news, I’m sure he’ll be very happy to hear it.’
‘As I said, she’s a smashing girl, nice to everyone, young and old, rich and poor. She’ll make a fine doctor, I think. Please tell him.’
‘I will, and thank you again, I really appreciate it.’ He asked for my number, just as a contact for himself, and I was happy to give it. I hung up pleased that I’d have good news to report when I rang Dinny that evening.
I had a busy day and it was late when I made my way home, more tired than I’d been in ages. As always, the rush of clean sea air and the view worked its magic and I felt lighter as I settled into my little house. Before I put all work thoughts out of my head after the long day, I had one more job to do. I yawned as I got out my notes and rang Denis Cassidy to tell him my news. To my surprise, he’d no time to chat.
‘You’ll have to come down.’ He always shouted when he talked on the phone. ‘Bartholomew’s gone mad altogether. Did you not get my message?’
No amount of talk on my part would calm him down this evening, it seemed, and within minutes he’d hung up after insisting I come down the following morning. I fell into bed feeling a headache coming on.
After a very disturbed sleep, I felt wiped out the next morning, and my day was looking extra heavy, because I now had to try and get to Ashford, which could take me up to an hour, depending on traffic.
First up was Emily, along with her mother, the famous Julia. And of course Rover came in his basket, was let out and proceeded to demolish one of my plants.
‘He does that all the time at home.’ Emily was amazed. ‘Have you any idea why?’
‘Plant- and grass-eating are actually far more common in cats than we realize,’ I told them. ‘One theory is that plants have some properties that might help the cat get rid of hair balls from his digestive tract.’
‘Charming,’ Julia said. She had an odd face; she was very pleasant but had a way of looking at you that seemed to say, ‘I have the measure of you, so don’t be trying to put one over on me.’ It could be quite disconcerting, I imagined. ‘So, how have you been getting on with him?’ I asked, concentrating on Emily.
‘To be honest, we’ve been a bit preoccupied with other matters, haven’t we, Mum?’ Emily coughed. ‘As I mentioned, Mum just told me I was adopted, and that came as quite a surprise, and we were hoping you might be able to offer some advice, given your experience as a counsellor.’
‘Well, I’m happy to try, but it wasn’t really my area of expertise ever.’ The whole issue of children’s rights was complicated, I knew. ‘And I have changed my career, so while I’ll certainly listen and see if I can contribute, it would be just that, if that’s OK?’ Emily looked like she was about to burst into tears, fearing I might not help.
‘What I’m saying is, this would be an informal chat.’ I smiled. ‘Officially, Rover is my client.’
‘Look, I don’t know what all this is about really,’ Julia suddenly burst out. ‘It was years ago, and best left alone, that’s my opinion.’
‘But Mum, you can’t open up something like that and then just ask me to ignore it.’ She looked pleadingly at me.
‘I think what Emily is trying to say is that the fact that she’s adopted raises issues for her and—’
‘What issues?’ Julia had that face on again. ‘She’s my daughter, and I’ve had her since she was ten weeks old and that’s that. I should never have said what I said in the first place.’
‘But it’s out now, and you can’t just try and put a lid on it.�
� It was the first time I’d seen Emily in any way assertive, and I suspected it was definitely a new experience for Julia.
‘Don’t go getting all stroppy with me, young lady.’
I knew this could quickly disintegrate. ‘Emily,’ I tried again. ‘Perhaps if you told your mum what you need from her?’
‘Just some information, how it all came about, that sort of thing.’
Julia said nothing, simply stared into space and, just when I thought she wasn’t going to say a word, out it all came.
‘You were born in London. Your . . . mother’ – she struggled with the word – ‘was single, from a good family. After you were born, she moved to Belfast, initially, and then to Dublin. Her family was horrified that she had had the child, apparently, and didn’t want to know. She only stayed a week in Belfast, because of the Troubles, and then found Dublin very grey and depressing, so one of the nuns told me. She barely lasted a month here before deciding she wanted her old life back. I got the impression she was quite a spoilt young lady.’ Julia sniffed contemptuously, but I could see it was all a front. This was affecting her more than she was letting on and, deep down, I knew she was even more scared than Emily.
‘So, she gave you up, and we had applied to adopt, and we got you and from that day on you were ours . . .’ I knew she wanted to say more, but she belonged to a generation of women who didn’t show their feelings easily.
‘Was I always called Emily?’ No matter how long I worked with people, sometimes the things that were important to them still surprised me.
‘No, she called you, em . . . what was it again?’ She feigned nonchalance, but she was only fooling herself, from where I sat. ‘Oh yes, Sophie, that was it. Bit odd, don’t you think?’
But her daughter’s face lit up. ‘Sophie, oh my God, it’s so . . . so girly, I suppose. Sophie.’ She kept repeating it. ‘It feels strange but I like it.’
‘Emily’s nice too, though,’ I told her. ‘It suits you.’
‘What? Oh, yes, of course.’ She knew what I was getting at. ‘I love my name.’ She patted her mother’s arm. ‘Sophie is just so, not what I would have chosen for me. It’s sort of . . . pink and fluffy, like candyfloss.’
