No Ordinary Love

by Anita Notaro

  I wanted to tell her that, compared to her former lover, she was a Page-Three candidate but instead we indulged in a bit of girly nonsense for a while, and just as I was working up to my next question she beat me to it – again.

  ‘So why now?’ She arched her eyebrows. ‘Why, after all these years, does he want us back in his life? Is it just because he’s getting old?’

  ‘That might have something to do with it, but I think he’s genuinely sorry for the way he handled it back then,’ I told her honestly. ‘I suspect he just wants to make amends.’

  ‘He doesn’t have to, it’s not necessary.’ Again she spoke without a trace of bitterness. ‘I always knew he’d get in touch someday, so when Father Vincent rang I knew what my answer was. He doesn’t have to feel guilty about us, we’re fine, and we don’t want for anything financially.’

  ‘He told me he sent you money but that you refused it.’

  ‘Yes, and that was mostly pride. You see, I needed him, not his money. Money wasn’t actually a huge issue once I found a job. But loneliness was always lurking. I’d no one to talk to a lot of the time. And even when I worked, there were so many nights when I was dog-tired, I’d have given anything for someone to just take over for a couple of hours. Someone to put their arms around me or run a bath for me, or just tell me not to rush home, insist that I stay back and have a drink with the girls. Silly, I suppose, but I was young and shy and Irish in a big, sophisticated city.’

  ‘It must have been very tough.’ I was transported back with her and suddenly wondered if my own mother had experienced the same loneliness. She probably had, I’d just never considered what it had been like back then. Although she’d dealt with me in a different way, the only way she knew probably. And that way meant that I had felt lonely too much of the time.

  ‘It was tough.’ She looked sad. ‘So when he blustered his way in – waving a cheque – I just sent him away quickly and quietly. And do you know why? Because I was afraid. And, basically, what I was most afraid of was my anger. When I saw him again he looked older and sophisticated, and for the first time I wanted to scream at him, “You should have known better, you should have minded me,” and I was scared of letting it all out because I knew that if I cried I’d never stop. Seeing him again just added to the loneliness. So as soon as he left I boxed it all up and superglued the lid.’ She smiled. ‘And it worked. It kept me going until I turned the corner, and one day I realized I was over it all and, even better, I was happy with myself. And that felt great. So please assure him that we’re fine, and that Catherine knows exactly what happened, and neither of us bears him any ill will. In fact, I wish him only joy and good fortune.’

  ‘You’re a remarkable woman.’ I meant it. ‘And I really admire all you’ve achieved and the way in which you’ve managed the hand you were dealt. So many people would have taken his money, allowed bitterness to take over and still refused to have anything to do with him all these years later, yet you agreed to talk to me.’ I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to say next, so I paused for a second and Joan didn’t rush in to fill the space like most people would have. ‘Look, I’m just going to throw this at you for consideration. What if he simply wanted to try and put it right, even though you don’t need it and despite the fact that it’s years too late? Would you be prepared to allow him to do that? It would mean letting him into your life a little bit, I suspect, and it would really be all for his benefit, I think, although perhaps it would allow you to finally put the past to rest in that tiny little place in your head where there’s a door that has never been fully closed. That’s if you’re anything like me, anyway.’ I sighed.

  She stared at me for ages, not really seeing me, I suspected. ‘I never thought I’d say this, but now that I’ve spoken about my anger aloud, I actually think I would,’ she said softly. ‘Just give me a day or two to discuss it with my daughter. If we’re doing this, she might as well be involved. Anyway, if I’m truly honest, it’s probably been on my mind for a long time that the two of them should meet.’

  29

  I WAS BRAINDEAD THE NEXT DAY, SO WHEN A TEXT CAME IN AT ABOUT four thirty I nearly didn’t open it, except I suspected it might be Maddy or Clodagh trying to drag me into town to hook up with them. They’d been shopping since the doors opened and I imagined they were about ready to indulge in a spot of relaxation. Their mission was to buy dresses for the launch of Maddy’s new show in a couple of weeks’ time, and as I still had a plentiful supply of Bronwyn’s stuff and money was tight, I’d decided against joining them, much to their disgust.

  So I expected a moany text calling me a party pooper but instead I read:

  Help! De mutt has taken ovr hse n had 2 go 2 pub 4 lunch. Any chance ud call about 6 n if u bcom ldr of de pack wil ply u wit bubbly n cook u fab dinner? X Mike

  I sent back a message immediately:

  Do u tink I can b bought so easily?

  To which he replied:

  Double rate of pay 4 weekend n real bubbly, not cheap stuff?

  C u at 6.

  I laughed and gave in, pressed Send and jumped off the couch, dragged Pete out for a very quick walk then dived into the shower.

  Maddy rang while I was on the Dart. ‘That woman makes the Taliban look like a bunch of wusses.’ She was referring to Clodagh, I knew immediately. ‘She wouldn’t even let me stop for lunch. Instead she had this cardboard muck with her that she called a multi-something bar which she forced me to eat. When I downed tools at 3 o’clock she ordered nettle tea – can you believe it? And I promise you, I wouldn’t have been stripped naked as often if I were a hooker. She told me my underwear had lost its elasticity, so I can’t imagine what she thought of my face. Come into town quick and save me. Otherwise I’ll end up drinking from a can in an alley somewhere, because she’s insisting we go to a juice bar for “refreshments”. I’m not kidding,’ she spluttered. ‘Remind me again why we’re friends with her?’

  ‘Because she keeps us on the straight and narrow.’ I laughed. It was what made us work as a trio, I knew. Maddy kept us laughing and made life fun, Clodagh never let us fail and wanted only the best for us, and I suppose I was the one who always worked out the solutions that got us through life’s ups and downs. ‘Anyway, you’re on your own,’ I told her. ‘I’m having my dinner cooked by Mike, who’s promised to pour champagne down my neck if I can get Pedro to stop guarding the door to the fridge.’

  ‘You go, girl, you lucky thing. Sure how could beetroot and ginger juice compete with that?’ She giggled. ‘Call me later though, and if I get truly desperate, I’ll be over to Mike’s house myself.’

  ‘OK, I’ll make him put your name in the pot so.’

  ‘Make him put my name in the bottle, darling. Fuck the pot. Oops, here she comes with another pair of Spanx. Gotta go, she’s spotted me dossing. I found a Sweet Factory kiosk and I’ve been eating jelly babies on the sly.’

  Poor Clodagh. Whatever chance she had of converting me, she’d absolutely none with Maddy.

  Mike answered the door fielding an antique shield and spear, one of Louis’s favourites. ‘I swear he’s gone bonkers; all that caviar has finally sent him over the edge. He now definitely thinks he owns the gaff.’

  ‘Fool.’ I grabbed the spear and took a swipe at him. ‘You’ve probably driven him mad with your antics. And Louis will kill you if you damage that,’ I warned as I dumped my bag on the floor.

  ‘Me! Driven him mad? What are you, crazy? I’m terrified of him. I tried talking to him through the keyhole. I even promised him the fillet steak I was planning to feed you.’

  ‘Well, he’s not getting my dinner, that’s for sure.’ I laughed and followed Mike to the kitchen. When I opened the door, Pedro gave me a doggy version of a ‘You won’t believe this idiot’ look. As soon as he saw Mike he gave a low growl, but it was a half-hearted attempt at dominance.

  I gave him my usual command and walked towards him purposefully. His tail went down and he mooched off towards his bed.

>   ‘Jesus, I actually feel sorry for him now,’ Mike said. ‘He looks like he’s been castrated. Sure what hope has any male against you?’

  ‘That’s the idea,’ I told him. ‘Now, tell me what’s been happening?’

  ‘It’s like it always is. When Louis’s here he spoils the dog rotten, has him sitting on chairs, sleeping on the bed, douses him in Gucci aftershave, the lot. Result – Louis happy, mutt ecstatic and I stay out of the way. Just sometimes it gets out of hand, like when I want to sit down and he won’t let me, but mostly in those situations Louis whispers sweet nothings in his ear and Pedro reluctantly allows me to live. Then Louis goes away for a few days and the hound takes over. Now, normally, I just don’t put up with it – my boot to his arse scenario – but he’s getting worse all the time. Today he really snarled at me, showed teeth, the works. But to be honest I really only invited you over because I do, in fact, need your help with something else as well.’

  ‘Go on.’ I eyed him suspiciously.

  ‘However, I will feed you very well. Louis left the fridge chock-a-block with goodies, although mostly for the mutt, I do admit.’

  ‘You intend feeding me the dog’s dinner?’ I enquired. ‘Anything else I should know? And was there some talk of something long and cold and fizzy?’

  ‘Oops, coming right up.’ He darted for the fridge, and Pedro got a fright and growled again but this time, as soon as I looked at him, he slunk away. ‘OK, I’ve said it before, so this is my last attempt. You two are going to have to take a united approach to the Pedro problem.’

  ‘We are.’ He grabbed the bottle and a glass – in an effort to shut me up, I reckoned.

  ‘Dogs need three things. Exercise, discipline and affection. It’s not rocket science. Have you seen The Dog Whisperer?’ I asked.

  ‘Who the hell is he?’

  ‘Doesn’t matter, we’ve talked about this before.’

  ‘I know, I know. To be honest, I’ve more or less given up, I never wanted all this hassle in the first place, you know that.’ Mike poured a glass of champagne and handed it to me.

  ‘You not joining me?’

  ‘Yes, but not with that.’ He snapped the ring on a can of beer. ‘Cheers.’

  ‘Slainte,’ I toasted him in Irish. ‘OK, let’s try it once more. It’s very simple if you just see it from Pedro’s point of view. He sees Louis as Number One, himself as Number Two and you as Number Three. In order to change that, you both need to agree a pattern. Have you been feeding him?’

  ‘Yep, and he’s nice as pie to me. Ditto when I shout “Walkies”. But Louis treats him like a child – in fact, better than a child – for the rest of the time, and that’s the problem.’

  ‘Tell me again when all this started?’ I prompted, while Mike got things together for dinner. He had fillet steaks marinating in balsamic vinegar with lots of black pepper and he was baking potatoes and throwing a salad together.

  ‘I suppose it . . . stop looking at me like that – I can cook,’ he joked.

  ‘No, I’m impressed actually. You do seem to know what you’re doing.’

  ‘My God, a compliment.’ He laughed. ‘Anyway, it started really when I tried to get Pedro off my armchair – one I bought for myself when I moved in – which he’d taken over.’

  ‘Were you rough with him or anything? Could you have hurt him?’

  ‘I dunno, I didn’t politely suggest he might consider doing me the great honour of letting me sit down on my own chair, if that’s what you mean. I just shifted him, as you do. To be honest, Lulu – and no disrespect, you’re good at what you do – but I’ve no time for all these mind games. He’s a dog, end of story.’

  ‘I’m just wondering if there’s something else wrong. Has he been to the vet lately?’

  ‘Are you joking? He only has to sneeze and Louis takes out his credit card. Our vet averages three foreign holidays a year thanks to Pedro.’

  I wandered over to where Pedro was. He wagged his tail as soon as he saw me and came towards me with a posture that was not in any way aggressive.

  ‘Let’s have a look at you, there’s a good boy.’ I pressed gently on his back, and as soon as my fingers moved down his spine a bit his whole manner changed and he started a low growl.

  ‘What’s wrong, fella?’ I looked at him, but as soon as I moved my hands up to his back again, his tail went down and he tried to get away.

  ‘I’d like to get him checked properly,’ I told Mike. ‘He just might have hurt himself, and somehow he connects it with you. Actually, give me a second, I might just be lucky.’ I whipped out my mobile phone and dialled my friend Alan, who was a vet with a practice within walking distance. ‘I’m ringing a friend who’s a vet. I just remembered he’s nearby, although at ten past six on a Sunday I’d say I’m pushing my luck,’ I told Mike as I waited.

  As it happened, I wasn’t. Alan had had an emergency call and was just shutting up shop but offered to have a quick look at the dog if I got there in the next few minutes.

  ‘Could you drive?’ I asked Mike as I grabbed Pedro’s lead.

  ‘Is this not a bit dramatic?’ Mike wanted to know. ‘And what about dinner?’ But I was already halfway out the door.

  Fifteen minutes later we had what I hoped was an answer.

  ‘He definitely has a problem with his spine,’ Alan told me. ‘Hard to tell exactly what without an X-ray, but he’s in quite a bit of pain, I reckon. He tenses up as soon as I touch him in a particular spot.’

  ‘Thanks a million. You may just have solved a problem that I was having no luck with.’ I felt sorry for poor Pedro.

  ‘Give him these tablets – I’ve written the details out – and if your friend wants to bring him back on Monday afternoon I’ll do a few tests, but I’d say we’ve found the source of his aggression.’

  He refused to charge me, so I made a mental note to drop him in a couple of bottles of wine and headed back to the car to tell Mike all about it.

  ‘Wow.’ He was as surprised as I was. ‘The poor mutt. I feel guilty now, how’s that for a turnaround? Can you believe I was actually thinking about moving out?’

  ‘Well, I only did this for Pedro – you’re big enough to look after yourself.’ I grinned. ‘Besides, you can talk, he can’t.’

  ‘True, but it’s the only advantage I have over him,’ said Mike. ‘So all that money Louis’s been throwing at his own vet and he didn’t pick it up.’ He whistled. ‘That says a lot.’

  ‘It’s not easy. He may not have even been aware of the aggression, so he wouldn’t have been thinking of it.’ We were back at the house at this stage and I was feeling that at last we’d made some real progress.

  ‘I’ll talk to Louis and suggest he goes to see Alan on Monday. Sure he’s your local vet anyway. It makes sense.’

  ‘Just a warning: I think Louis may fancy his own vet.’ Mike winked, handing me a fresh glass. ‘Anyway, how do you like your steak? Potatoes are on and salad’s made. I even defrosted a berry crumble for dessert.’

  ‘You’re a boy wonder.’ I sipped my drink. ‘Leave Louis to me, by the way – if that’s OK? Don’t mention today.’

  ‘Are you kidding? You’d have to pay me to get involved any more than I am already.’

  ‘This is delicious.’ I indicated the glass. ‘What is it about men and champagne?’

  ‘The bubbles get up our noses, the glasses are too thin and the whole thing’s just too . . . what’s the word? . . . “polite”, that’ll do. Or maybe girly. Anyway, I always swallow the entire contents in one gulp. All this sipping is bad for my macho image.’

  ‘OK, I think I understand in a weird sort of way. So, what’s the other story? You said you needed my help?’

  ‘Ah yes. Well, it’s simple. You know my friend Paddy Russell?’

  ‘No, should I?’

  ‘You met him the night of the party. Tall, great sense of humour, from Galway?’

  ‘Oh yes, sorry. Nice guy, in a clean sort of way.’

  ‘You make
that sound like a disease.’ Mike made a face.

  ‘No, just not my type.’

  ‘And what is your type, I wonder? No, never mind, I’m sidetracking. The thing is, he fancies your friend, and I was wondering if we could put our heads together and come up with a plan.’

  ‘That sounds terribly girly.’ I laughed.

  ‘You’re absolutely right; this was all Louis’s idea. He made me promise to talk to you and, as you know, I obey. Paddy’s had a bit of a rough time, you see. Long story, nothing sinister, don’t worry.’

  ‘Well, unfortunately, Maddy’s just met—’

  ‘No, not Maddy, Clodagh.’

  ‘Clodagh? Oh, that’s different. Sorry, me and her just get used to all the men fancying Maddy, so I just assumed . . .’

  ‘Hang on, I have a list. Louis made me write it all down. Is she seeing anyone?’

  ‘No, she was, sort of. But I heard last night that maybe he was just proving a tad too intense.’

  ‘Right, well, that wouldn’t be a problem with Paddy. Any more laidback and he’d be in a coffin. So, what do you think? Worth a shot?’

  ‘Maybe. Let me run it by Maddy first. She’s way better than me at these things. I’m useless.’

  ‘Great.’

  ‘Oh, I nearly forgot, Maddy said to invite you to her launch party.’ I gave him the date. ‘She said you were very nice to her about it the night she was here.’

  ‘I’m a very nice guy, actually.’ He raised his eyebrows at me. ‘And stop putting yourself down, by the way. You’re always telling me how useless you are, and you’re not. Bonkers: yes; useless: no.’

  ‘Well, thank you, I think.’

  ‘Pleasure. Now is it OK if we eat here in the kitchen? Louis would kill me, but I can’t be arsed setting tables and all that.’ He dished up the food without waiting for a reply.

  ‘Here’s perfect. I live in a van, remember?’

  ‘Of course you do, I keep forgetting. I think Maddy getting that part is a major achievement, by the way. That’s all I said to her that night. I know the production company – they’ve made a few videos for us – and they’re huge. And very well regarded in the industry too.’