Because I Love You

by Amy Brent

  “Get some beauty rest. See you in the morning!”

  Chapter 14

  Christopher

  Even though Jessi told me her son was nine months old, there was no way to be sure she was telling the truth. Her answers were vague at best, but the resemblance between me and that baby was undeniable. His eyes were exactly the color of mine and his hair color was the combination of mine and hers. His smile was broad like mine and his chin even had the same small little dimple mine did whenever he smiled.

  But I had no proof other than that.

  I had nothing other than how much I looked like Caleb.

  “Come on, girls. Turns aren’t this hard,” I said.

  “Maybe if you gave us a break, we could get it down.”

  “And maybe if you ate before you came to work, you’d have the energy to withstand the requirements of the job. Do the turn right, then you can sit down,” I said.

  Another job, another room full of snippy women. I had to work with them for an entire week before yet another show, and I had my hopes high that Jessi was working on this one as well. The designer was notorious for using plus-sized models in her shows, but not this one.

  I was disappointed as fuck when I entered the room and didn’t see Jessi.

  What it boiled down to was that I just missed working with her. I missed her grace and her fluidity. She had outshone everyone on that damn stage the night of the show. But that was like her, to walk into a room and command attention. She’d always been that way. Even back during her timid days when she was still trying to find herself. She was captivating. Her smile lit up a room and her curves filled out everything she wore very nicely. Her voice was filled with a notorious boom that ricocheted across a room even if she was whispering.

  Everything about her was loud and proud, and I adored it.

  It was what drew me to her in the first place.

  “Ow! Shit!”

  I ran up onto the stage and rushed for the model on the floor. She was holding her ankle in her tiny, delicate little hand. I could see just about every bone in her body, and as I picked her up off the floor my hands fell into the divots of her rib cage.

  That was why she couldn’t get the choreography.

  She was starving herself for this job.

  “You’re going to take a break,” I said.

  “Finally,” the woman said.

  “Not finally. You’re going to take a break and I’m going to see you in the designer’s office. Does she know you’re struggling?”

  I saw tears glisten in the woman’s eyes as she stood to her feet.

  “Please don’t tell her. I need this job badly. I haven’t worked in almost two months and this was a massive break for me.”

  “This is simple choreography,” I said, “and you can’t get it because you aren’t strong enough. The last thing we need is you hurting yourself on this job. It puts us out a model, it hampers your career, and it puts a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. I know you guys are scrutinized for your weight. I get it. But you’re sick. You’re not healthy enough to do this show.”

  “Please,” the woman said as tears ran down her cheeks. “I have nothing else.”

  “You’re more than your body,” I said. “I’m sure you have talents. Get yourself better, and come back with confidence. There are many emerging designers that choose confident women over thin women.”

  “I don’t see them anywhere,” she said, breathlessly.

  “I worked with one just last week. If you don’t see them anywhere, then your first step is to work with another company. But I can’t let you go on like this. Especially now that I know how sick you are.”

  “I’m not sick.”

  “And if you believe that for now, that’s your choice. But I’ve made mine. Get your heels off, get yourself dressed, and meet me in the designer’s office,” I said.

  I hated this part of my job, but it happened more than people let on. Models would fall into unhealthy patterns to keep their weight down, then they weren’t strong enough to do the runway shows. It was why I was so happy the plus-size world was emerging into the marketplace. It was why I loved the fact that designers were using bigger women to showcase their clothes.

  Because I had to deal with less emotional fallout that way.

  The conversation was hard and the woman was angry. And rightfully so. She left the building in tears, but there was nothing I could do. The designer was talking at me but my ears were only half-tuned to her voice. The rest of my mind was wandering back to Jessi.

  Back to her healthy curves, her bright eyes and her gleaming smile.

  I had no idea how I was going to get her to admit that Caleb was mine. I knew in my gut he was, but I didn’t want to push the subject right now. I had her back and I didn’t want to ruin it again. Even if I had to take it slowly and even if all we did was hook up for now. But she was more than that to me. She always had been. I was an idiot the first time around to think I could keep her in the shadows, and that she was simply a good lay I could count on, who happened to be my best friend’s sister.

  She had obviously been struggling with telling me she had a kid in the first place. It wasn’t until I actually saw her holding Caleb that she was even willing to admit it. And if we hadn’t been in front of her family, I wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t have tried to pawn him off on someone else. It was something she was probably insecure about, especially being a model.

  But her body. There was nothing about her body that boasted of her having a child.

  Sure, her curves were a little bigger, her thighs more supple than before. But there were no stretch marks, loose skin or leaking from her nipples. There was nothing on her body that revealed she had a child, and I sighed as I closed my eyes. The designer was long gone. Probably off to find a replacement model when she found out I wasn’t listening to her.

  Or maybe she thought I had been listening and was clueless to anything else.

  I sat against the desk in the room and took deep breaths. My mind had wandered to the details of Jessi’s body, pulling me into the warmth of her presence. I felt my cock stiffening against my sweatpants as I cleared my throat. The last thing I needed was to go into a room with a bunch of women with my cock at half-mast.

  I wanted to see her again.

  I needed to see her again.

  “Hello, Chris,” Jessi said.

  “Hey there,” I said, into my cell phone. “What are you doing, beautiful?”

  “Just getting out of a photo shoot. You?”

  “Another one already? I guess the world doesn’t stop for Miss Jessi Park.”

  “That it does not,” she said.

  “I was wondering what you were up to this evening. Maybe we could get some dinner.”

  “Can’t. I already have plans,” she said.

  “Do you actually have plans or is that an excuse to not see me?”

  “If I didn’t want to see you, I’d let you know. I promise.”

  “I don’t doubt that for a second. What about tomorrow night, then?”

  “Dinner?” she asked.

  “Is there anything else you have on your mind?”

  “No, but there’s usually something else on your mind.”

  “I can hear your grin, sweet girl.”

  Her giggle caused the hairs on the back of my neck to rise. Such an angelic sound.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow with the details.”

  “Always in control,” Jessi said.

  “Would you have it any other way?”

  “Is there any other way?” she asked.

  I caught a trace of sadness in her voice, but I couldn’t figure out where it would have been coming from. It stopped me in my tracks as I furrowed my brow and I paid attention to her breathing. It was erratic. Like she was trying to control her emotions for some reason.

  “Jessi?” I asked.

  “Let me know where and when to meet you and I’ll be there,” she said.

  She hung up the phone
abruptly and it left me with more questions than answers. What had riled her up so badly about the conversation? It was playful, like it had always been between the two of us. Had I said something to upset her? Maybe she didn’t really want to go out?

  I wasn’t sure, but what I did know was that I was late for lunch with Justin.

  Embracing my friend before we sat down was awkward at best. I was finding it harder and harder to be around him, especially with what was going on between me and his sister. I was looking my best friend in the face and cracking jokes while withholding the fact that I was fucking around with Jessi.

  That didn’t sit well with me.

  Just like it hadn’t two years ago.

  Justin was going on and on about this redheaded chick of his. How awesome she was and the energy levels she had in bed. He kept going on and on about her like she was God’s greatest gift to the world, but I was only half listening. My mind kept going back to the conversation I had with Jessi. The sadness that poured through her voice in that one little question she’d asked.

  Was Jessi okay?

  My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to take a look. I figured it was work or the designer demanding I get back to the venue to help with the girls. But instead, I saw Jessi’s name scrolling across my screen.

  She had sent me a message.

  “Everything good, man?” Justin asked.

  “Yeah, everything’s good. Just got a text,” I said.

  “Does it happen to be from this mystery girl you still won’t tell me about?” he asked.

  I looked up at him as I opened Jessi’s text on my phone. But all it had was a picture.

  A picture of her in that gorgeous evening gown from the runway show.

  Better take me somewhere appropriate.

  I grinned down at the message before I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

  “It was from her, wasn’t it?” Justin asked. “Why the hell won’t you tell me about her?”

  “Because it’s still pretty casual. But it seems like things are heating up between you and that redheaded minx from the bar. How many times have you seen each other since that night?” I asked.

  “Five,” he said with a smile.

  “Oh shit, man. You’re sunk,” I said.

  “In all the best ways.”

  I wanted to tell him I got it. That I understood how he was feeling. But the last thing I wanted to do was open a conversation about how I was fucking his sister and oh, by the way? I thought her kid was mine because we fucked around two years ago, too.

  Shit, things were getting complicated.

  I really needed to talk to Jessi.

  Chapter 15

  Jessi

  “Paloma. Fancy,” I said.

  “A stunning venue for a stunning woman in a very stunning gown,” Chris said.

  “Wasn’t sure if you got the hint,” I said. “You didn’t respond to my text.”

  “I have to keep you waiting a little bit. What would bring you back otherwise?”

  Chris opened the door for me and the two of us walked in. There was a dimly lit table for two in the corner, reserved specifically for us. I was thankful that Caleb’s nanny was okay with watching my son, because I was actually looking forward to the evening.

  Though I was trying to swallow my excitement down so I could get to work.

  “How was the photoshoot?” Chris asked, as he pulled out my chair.

  “It went well. There’s room in the contract for talks about me representing their curvy girl line of clothing, so Pierre’s working on it.”

  “Pierre your manager?” he asked.

  “My miracle-worker, yes.”

  “And here I thought that was my nickname,” he said with a wink.

  The two of us ordered a round of drinks and a small appetizer to split between us. As the conversation went on, I was thankful he didn’t bring up the subject of Caleb. I was worried he would, since the last time we were together he wouldn't stop asking questions. Questions I was uncomfortable answering. Questions that made me think he had a sneaking suspicion Caleb was his child.

  “That dress really does look stunning on you. Have you posted it anywhere yet?” Chris asked.

  “I was actually hoping I could get you to take a picture of me out by the fountain. The water would backdrop the fabric of this dress nicely,” I said.

  “Always willing to help a fellow model out with her career.”

  You weren’t willing to do that two years ago.

  I smiled kindly at him, but every word that dropped from his mouth reminded me of why I was doing this. And I had to step up my timeline. With us getting so close—much closer than I’d intended—I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep Caleb a secret from him. Chris had turned on his nice side, the charm he oozed whenever we were together. It was making me weak in the knees and causing me to do things like look forward to the time we would spend together and dream about him when I closed my eyes.

  All of that stuff was counterintuitive to my plan. And I wasn’t going to have it.

  “How’s your drink? It matches your dress, oddly enough,” Chris said.

  “When I work it, I really work it,” I said.

  “Oh trust me, I know that all too well.”

  He winked at me as I felt my face beginning to flush. I took a sip of my drink as my mind began to swirl. My eyes drifted along his body, taking in the way his muscles pulled at his outfit. His button-down shirt swelled against his chest and his foot was scooting closer to mine underneath the table. His body heat alone was rattling my iron bars, and I needed to get out of the situation quickly.

  My body was betraying my game plan.

  “Excuse me. I need to go to the restroom,” I said.

  “I’ll be ready and waiting,” Chris said.

  The tone of his voice deepened, pulling goosebumps along my arms. My gown fluttered behind me with every step I took as I made my way for the bathroom. I needed space between us. I needed to take a moment and remind myself of why I was doing this.

  I needed a moment away from him.

  Stepping into the one-person bathroom, I went to close the door. But a grip on my waist caused me to gasp. I felt my back against the bathroom door as the lights went off, and I tried struggling against the body that had me pinned.

  “You didn’t think I was going to let you walk away, did you?”

  Chris’s breath was hot on my neck as I heard the lock on the door flip.

  “Chris?” I asked breathlessly.

  “The way this shimmering fabric sparkles with the swaying of your hips. The thought of another man looking at you—”

  I felt his hand run down my side as his breath pulsed against my lips.

  “What are you doing?” I asked with a whisper.

  His lips pressed into mine. Slowly. Delicately. Like a child cherishing a prize or a woman holding a delicate little kitten.

  Or a man holding his sweet, sweet girl.

  “I’m showing you just how beautiful I think you are,” Chris said into my lips.

  I grabbed his hair and pulled him into me. I couldn’t resist him, no matter how hard I tried. His words were thick with want and his breath made me salivate. Feeling his muscles pressed into my body was too much. The heat of his skin was too much.

  Everything about him was too much.

  His hands moved to his zipper, and his belt and pants soon crashed to the floor. I slid my panties down and kicked them off to the side before his hands gathered my body in his arms. He pressed me against the door, my leg locked around him as I stood on my tip-toes. I felt his hands bunching up my evening gown as his cock pressed deeply into my thigh.

  “You have no idea what you do to me, Jessi,” Chris said. “How much of my mind you take up.”

  I felt his cock pressing against my entrance as my body betrayed how much I wanted him. My arousal poured from between my folds, dripping down his cock. I heard him chuckle into my ear. A low, rumbling sound that both embarr
assed me and sent electricity surging through my veins.

  “I knew my sweet girl couldn’t resist me,” he said.

  I whimpered at his use of the nickname for me as he pressed his dick into my body.

  He rolled deeply into me, his hands keeping my dress bunched up at my waist. My arms hung around his neck, my body at his mercy. My clit raked against his trimmed curls, shooting fire behind my eyes. The darkness of the bathroom and hearing all the people walking around outside. It was all too much.

  And yet, it still didn’t seem like enough.

  My moans grew and I felt Chris slide his hand over my mouth. His face was so close I could see the beauty of his eyes. Even through the darkness. I held his gaze as he picked up the pace, my leg jumping every single time he thrust against my clit.

  My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I came around his cock.

  “That’s it,” he said in my ear. “Give it to me. Give in to me, Jessi. Let me show you how much I missed you.”

  Missed me?

  Chris had missed me—?”

  He slid out from my pussy and whipped me around. Pressing my body into the door, he pulled my hips back into his cock. He filled my pussy with his solid girth as I felt him pulsing against my walls. My legs were shaking and my chest was panting for air as I used the door for leverage.