by Ina Williams
Ma Eloise couldn’t help letting out a little laugh, “What girls?”
Elsa huffed a little, “He’s only brought one other girl home.”
“She was definitely not the plate-fixing type,” Ma Eloise added.
Molly couldn’t help smiling as she made her way to the dishes laid out on the counter.
“Food is ready,” Elsa sang from the doorway of the kitchen. The family immediately started to stir. Elijah made his way towards the kitchen when Elsa put her hand on his arm to stop him. He was about to complain when he looked up to find Molly exiting the kitchen, a plate in each hand. His mouth opened a little and he looked back at Elsa as if to find something to say. She smiled and winked at him before turning her attention to the rest of the guests.
Elijah reached to help Molly then made room for her on the couch next to him. “You didn’t have to do that,” Elijah objected although he was completely enchanted. Who was this woman and where had she come from?
“I figured it was the only way to secure food for both of us. I’ve been taste-testing all afternoon and I don’t think there would have been anything left if we waited,” Molly brushed off the thanks.
He drew her in and kissed her on the temple.
“I see we done lost another one,” Jordan, Ma Eloise’s great nephew, said to his cousin, Eric, loud enough for everyone to hear.
Eric laughed, but quietly. Earnest Jay, always one for an entrance, made his way through the front door just in time to notice Molly’s smile dissolve. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and Earnest paused instinctively in order to keep out of whatever he had just walked in on. Elijah hadn’t realized that the comment was offensive, but Molly’s reaction made him feel as though he should have.
“Lost another what?” Elijah asked discerning her mood. Jordan looked over and noticed Molly’s face, then Elijah’s. Earnest began to understand, slowly.
“Ah, nothing man. I was just playing.”
Jordan’s reaction made Elijah even more aware that he had been mocking them. He didn’t like it.
“No really, lost another what?” This time the question sounded more like a challenge.
“It’s fine Elijah,” Molly soothed him resting her hand against his chest. “I think Jordan just meant that he missed out on another amazing woman now that I’m dating you.”
The room tightened with the truth, and everyone strained to hear what would come next. Elijah’s jaw tightened in anger, but also in fear. He didn’t know how to defend her from this. He seemed unqualified to have this fight, so he just sat still waiting to follow her lead.
“Jordan, let me ask you a question,” Molly started, affecting her best lawyer impression.
Earnest shushed the busy bodies around him to hear what came next.
“I lived here for almost six months before I started dating Elijah. Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
Silence filled the room and everyone’s heads turned to see Jordan’s reaction. There was something in Jordan’s eyes that reminded her of her brother when he used to get in trouble. There was a little shame yes, but underneath was resentment for being called out on something. Something that bellowed, how dare you be right about me!
“Cause he’s a punk,” Eric answered for him after the silence had lingered just a moment too long.
Earnest and everyone else in earshot exploded with laughter, including Molly. Even Jordan cracked a small smile.
“Well, man up next time so you don’t miss out,” Molly continued the playful mockery.
Eric walked over to her and held out his fist. She bumped it with her own before looking up at him. He winked to reassure her. Ma Eloise entered and the room grew quiet, everyone knew what came next. They laid down their plates and joined hands.
Everyone looked up at Ma Eloise, but she turned to Jordan, “Baby, why don’t you lead us. You can pray for a little courage for yourself too.”
Everyone roared with laughter again and Jordan took his family’s jabs like a pro boxer. They lowered their heads and gave thanks with hearts light from laughter.
Elijah exhaled before realizing he was even holding his breath. It hadn’t occurred to him how much this family’s opinion meant to him. With Katy it had been so important for her to treat them well that he hadn’t thought to worry about how they might treat someone else. Molly belonged with this family, even if she didn’t fit. Not because of how she looked, but because of who she was. She was just like he and Elsa—a beloved outsider.
Later that night, as things were winding down and the crowd started to dwindle, Elijah’s eyes searched the room for Molly. Earnest made his way over to him first.
“So that’s her, huh?” He finished putting on his coat then flipped the collar down.
Elijah said nothing, only smiled proudly.
“I knew I was gonna like her,” he buttoned his coat, kicked Elijah’s shoe then made his way out of the front door. Elijah stood from the couch still grinning and made his way to the kitchen to find Molly. She had disappeared somewhere around the end of the game and Elijah assumed she was helping Elsa or Ma Eloise. Elsa and Bix were in the kitchen, flirting unabashedly with each other. Elsa pointed to the back porch where Molly and Ma Eloise were talking. He liked the way they looked, both comfortable and calm, Molly bouncing her foot while Ma Eloise took a sip of her tea.
“Don’t pay her any mind honey,” Ma Eloise was saying. “People like that are so worried about how other people look to them, they have no idea how they look to everybody else.”
Molly quietly let the words sink in hoping they would calm the waves of emotion stirring inside her. It almost worked, but not quite. Ma Eloise caught sight of Elijah and smiled at him before shifting her weight to stand.
“I’m gonna see if Elsa left me anything to do in there.”
“I can help you,” Elijah offered.
“No, you stay,” she said firmly, giving him a look that let him know he should take up the conversation where she left off.
“What’s up?”
“Just thinking,” Molly offered, her voice lower than usual.
“About Widow Liddell? Ignore her. That’s what I do.”
After a few more moments of silence she began, “It’s not just her and it’s not just what she said. It’s that she actually believes that how I look, who I am, makes me somehow morally wrong for you.”
“Molly, the thing is, the fact that she thinks that proves how ignorant she is. Everything about who you are makes me better.”
She lowered her eyes and Elijah moved to kneel in front of her. “You know what worried me most about tonight?” Molly lifted her eyes to look at him as he continued.
“That we wouldn’t fit here, with the people who matter most to me. I’m not with you so we can help the world make sense of us,” he brushed her chin with his finger before lifting it. “I’m with you because you make sense in my world.”
Molly wrapped him in her arms and held him there for a long time. They let the silence and the cool night breeze wash over them.
PART III
What We Choose
CHAPTER 13
All We Never Say
Molly was sure they were nearing the end. They’d had a good run. Truth be told, Elijah had opened her heart in ways she didn’t even think were still possible for her. But just eight short months after they’d started dating Elijah was drifting away.
He’d cancelled three dinner dates in the past two weeks, he was almost always rushing her off the phone, and even when he was around he was always so distracted. He’d spent the past four nights locked away in his workshop and when she’d asked if he wanted any help he quickly dismissed the offer. “No, thanks I got it.”
These warning signs were in addition to the fact that he had never fully recovered from his fallout with Earnest Jay. They were still friends, or at least they were stil
l friendly, but the brotherhood she’d always heard him describe wasn’t there anymore.
Was she was losing him to his sadness? It seemed that the more she tried to be there for him, the more he pulled away. Why wouldn’t he just end it already?
Maybe he was too afraid to hurt her, or maybe he wasn’t man enough to say he was done with her, with them. Either way, Molly was sure the end was coming and she refused to stand by and let it gradually chip away at her. The thought alone was like torture, waiting around for someone to break her heart. Someone who was more than capable, because even if she hadn’t admitted it to him, Elijah held such a big part of her heart now. The only thing that scared her more than sticking around for him to break her heart was the thought of breaking his.
What if she was wrong, what if all he really needed from her was more time? Time to sort things out with Earnest or figure out how he felt about her. But how much time would be enough? Maybe someday soon Elijah would be ready, but was she supposed to sit around and wait for that to happen? She had been through the pain of waiting too long before and she wouldn’t put herself or Elijah through that again.
“Hey, babe I’m sorry to do this again, but I’m going to have to cancel tonight.”
He was in his car with the windows down and Molly could hear the wind whipping around him.
“It’s ok,” she sighed into her end of the phone.
“No, I’m going to make this up to you I promise,” Elijah continued, but Molly could tell he was once again distracted.
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and ripped off the band-aid, “You don’t have to make it up to me Elijah. I think we should just cut our losses.”
“Cut our what?” Elijah asked, clearly confused.
“Look, I know things are weird for you at the shop and you’re working really hard to get back on track. I don’t want to distract you from any of that,” Molly continued, eyes still closed with tears forming behind the lids.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now. Where are you?”
“I’m on my way home.”
“Ok, I’ll meet you there. I’m on my way.” Elijah turned the wheel of his car to head in her direction. He didn’t like the way her voice sounded. She seemed tired or scared, but he couldn’t tell without seeing her eyes. He needed to see what was wrong with her.
“No. Elijah, I’m on my way home to my parents’ house, in Atlanta.”
Elijah froze. Atlanta? Why?
“Molly what are you saying?”
The wind had stopped and she could tell he wasn’t driving anymore. Her face was full of tears now, but she steadied her voice.
“I’m saying it was selfish of me to try and hold on to you when you have so much going on. I should have given you space when you asked for it, but I’m giving it to you now.” The last few words were barely audible.
“Molly,” was all he could get out. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure what was happening. Was she ending them? Was she taking away the one beautiful thing he had left? Why? There had to be something else to say, something to keep her on the line longer, something to make her change her mind. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out what that something was. Then, all of a sudden it was too late.
“Goodbye Elijah.” The line went silent.
He sank back in the driver’s seat of his truck and watched the tassel from the “World’s Greatest Uncle” charm that Elsa made him dangle from the rear view mirror.
“What just happened,” he wondered out loud.
“What happened?”
Elsa Rae continued to pry over lunch a few days later despite her husband’s repeated throat clearing. It seemed that when the seventh month of pregnancy passed so did all inclination to take hints or advice. All of a sudden she was more adventurous than she’d ever been. Her present state made some of her explorations impossible, but she was definitely taking advantage of the ones she could. Some worked in Bix’s favor, but this new found outspokenness did not.
“Elsa, we’ve already talked about this,” Elijah said into his plate.
“No we didn’t,” she retorted with the indifference of a toddler, “I keep asking and you keep changing the subject.”
“Maybe that means he doesn’t want to talk about it, sweetheart,” Bix offered quietly.
“Well, did you at least talk to her about it?”
Elijah looked up at her, ready to explode, but stopped himself because her eyes were shining with so much hope. She really wanted to fix this. He could see how much it meant to her. He wanted to fix it too, but you can’t fix something when you don’t know where the problem is and Molly hadn’t given him enough time to figure that out.
“She doesn’t want to talk Rae. And neither do I.” He said it quietly, but firmly.
Elsa Rae’s curiosity was not yet satisfied, but she could see the conversation was over so she pushed back her chair and began reaching for dishes. Bix was still working on his last bite as she lifted his plate from the table. Elijah had lost his appetite, as was evident by the piles of food left on his plate. Elsa reached across the table to grab his plate and Elijah looked up to thank her, but her face was twisted in discomfort.
“Rae, you ok?” he asked.
She opened her mouth to dismiss his concern when her face contorted again. This time Bix noticed too, he scrambled to his feet and lowered her into her chair. She wasn’t reaching for her stomach, but the area just below it. She didn’t look like she was in pain really, just uncomfortable, like hitting a funny bone. Bix, ever the overprotective husband, was not willing to take any chances and despite her protestations when the discomfort subsided a few minutes later, Bix insisted they pay the doctor a visit.
“He was overreacting wasn’t he?” Elsa teased as the doctor finished up the exam.
Dr. Lamont, a beautiful Panamanian woman in her early fifties, smiled sweetly.
“There is no such thing when it comes to the safety of your baby,” she said sincerely, but with a hint of this happens all the time.
“See, overreacting,” Elsa mocked her husband who was shaking his head at her playfully.
“But…”
It’s funny that such a small word could make a room go quiet so quickly.
“But what?” Bix worried.
“It’s nothing for you two to worry about. Baby is growing big and strong in there,” she eased into the issue.
Elsa Rae didn’t want to be handled, “But what?” She seconded her husband’s question, only with far less patience.
“Because of the baby’s size and activity, there is a little more wear and tear on your pelvis than I’d like to see.” The doctor took off her gloves and slid back in her chair so that she could look at them both at the same time.
“I just want to make sure that both mommy and baby stay safe, so I’m going to put you on bed rest and strict pelvic rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.” She looked intently at Bix with raised eyebrows. Elsa and Bix both laughed like teenagers caught making out.
“But everything’s ok with the baby right?” Elsa urged.
“Baby is doing great.” Dr. Lamont assured them.
They didn’t know they’d been holding their breath, but the sigh after the good news was proof enough.
“And you still don’t want to know the sex of the baby right?” Dr. Lamont asked.
“Right,” they chimed together. There were lots of things they didn’t agree on, but they were completely in sync on not knowing the sex of their first born. The decision was driving the future grandparents a little crazy. Ma Eloise and Bix’s mother had been complaining nonstop about not being able to shop more specifically for their new grandbaby, but the parents held firm.
“Alright then, I guess we’re all done here.” Dr. Lamont said as she stood.
After Elsa and Bix left for the doctor, E
lijah was alone again, restless and trapped with his own thoughts. He headed back to the shop to get some work done. He was hard at work on a restoration. Mr. Thompson had brought in an antique sideboard his wife found at an antique shop in Maine over the winter. It hadn’t been appraised yet, but Elijah could tell from the style it was probably made in the early 1900’s and definitely American. It was beautiful, functional, classic. He’d taken one look at it and knew how much fun he would have restoring it. It was sturdy and strong, but needed a lot of work. The former owner tried to make some “improvements” but the piece was worse off as a result. It took Elijah nearly two months just to find the original hardware and another month to find the right oak to replace a broken panel. It was starting to come together and Elijah was proud of his work. He’d spent the last few days stripping the sideboard and he wanted to finish that part of the project before morning.
He slipped off his jacket and slid his fingers across the top of the sideboard. He loved furniture, loved this shop, the way it smelled and how quiet it got at night. The shop smelled like Jim, like how Elijah remembered him, wood, sawdust, tobacco, and sweat. His whole adolescence was wrapped up in this place and with every breath he could sense how much he’d grown up here.
He’d actually spent a lot of nights here since he and Molly had been dating. He suspected it had something to do with the vigor required to work on large pieces. No sex was a noble idea, but much harder to put into action. With every passing month it became more and more clear to Elijah that Bix was right about Molly waiting. They’d never talked about it, but at this point it was understood. Sort of like Elijah’s feelings about the shop, or Earnest for that matter, it was there, but they didn’t bring it up.
Elijah had discovered that working was the best way to burn energy, or clear his mind, or dream if he wanted. But tonight was different, for the first time in eight months Elijah didn’t have the silent satisfaction of knowing someone was thinking of him, waiting on him, wanting him. Tonight it was just he and the sideboard, until it wasn’t anymore.
