Darkness Becomes Her

by Jaime Rush

  Lachlan traced tracks through the moisture on Jessie’s stomach. His tears. So foreign to him, so useless. Because they couldn’t bring her back. Thirty minutes had passed and they’d changed nothing.

  Lachlan felt Olaf’s energy return in a rush.

  “Och, ye’re killing me, cousin.”

  “Unless you’ve changed your mind about helping, I’m not in the mood for you.”

  “Ye pulled me to ye. I’ve never felt anything like what you’re feeling. It’s . . .”

  Lachlan could see his beefy hand ball into a fist as he tried to find the right words. “Bone-deep grief,” he supplied. “Muscle-tearing frustration. Gut-wrenching—”

  “I got it, I got it. For the lass. She’s permeated your thoughts and everything about ye.”

  “She’s gone.”

  “Dead?”

  “No, in the Void. Her soul is trapped there for God knows how long.”

  “Love.”

  Lachlan moved his hand to her chest and could feel her heartbeat, still strong and steady. “What?”

  “That’s the strongest feeling I get from ye. More than all that other dreck. Love. I had lassies, aye, but never felt like this.”

  “Me either.” His voice came out hoarse, raw.

  Silence hovered between them for several seconds.

  “You’re right,” Olaf said. “I did run. I was a coward.”

  Lachlan stroked across her skin with the tips of his fingers. “We all do cowardly things. It’s part of being human.”

  “I let them down. Left them to be slaughtered.”

  “If you’d stayed, would it have made a difference? The enemy had artillery, you had swords. Your men would have died anyway, likely. You would have died.”

  “Then I grabbed onto you to avoid the Light. Another cowardly act.” Olaf gave a ragged sigh. “At least I got to fight with ye, got to feel a woman’s body again, got to fall in love. It was worth it.”

  “Now you get to feel what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

  “That part’s no’ so good.” Olaf rubbed at his eyes. “I didna think I could cry in this state.”

  “I’m surprised you were brave enough to come back.”

  “Nae, ye dinna understand. Feeling your pain . . . ye let me cry.”

  “Glad I could oblige.” Lachlan’s voice sounded hollow to his own ears, devoid of emotion now. But Olaf was still here. Hope flickered in the darkness of his soul. “Maybe you could do something for me.”

  “Go to the Void? Ye dinna know what that place is like.”

  “No, but she did. She went anyway to save her father.”

  He grunted. “Aye, she’s the bravest warrior I’ve ever known.”

  Lachlan knew better than to poke at Olaf’s ego or the sore that was still so raw, especially if he had any hope of getting him to help. Neither bullying nor begging had worked before. He let those words settle instead.

  “An’ I had my moments, in clan clashes. I took heads. I faced death and wasna afraid. Only at the end, and I paid the price for that.”

  “If you could go back to that battle, would you stand?”

  “I would fight to the end.”

  “You have another chance to hold fast. Right here.” He tipped Jessie’s face so Olaf could see her. Her innocence. Those apple cheeks. “You can save this brave warrior. You don’t have to go in the Void. Just take me there.”

  Silence. Lachlan held back any more words. He’d never been good at finessing people. Now Jessie’s life depended on it.

  “Ye said there was no hell up there.”

  The light flickered even more.

  “Look at your life. Constant battles. Treachery. Wasn’t that hell?”

  “Aye.”

  “But that was the way of it back then. No matter what you’ve done, you can make it right.”

  “What if it doesna work? Or ye canna find her or bring her back? Or ye get stuck there, too?”

  “Then you come back here. With my soul gone, maybe you can come back into me.” As soon as the words were out, he regretted it. What if Olaf cut him loose in the Void intending to take over his body? “Or you go on. It’s time, Olaf. So do this one thing before you go.”

  Another few seconds of silence. Every cell in Lachlan’s body froze, waiting.

  “All right. I’ll do it.”

  Lachlan wanted to shout in joy but kept it in. Olaf was still a wild card. He would have to put his ultimate trust in an entity who hadn’t always been trustworthy. He’d do it a hundred times if it meant bringing Jessie back. He sat up, cradling her in his lap.

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll come back and haunt ye if I end up in hell.”

  “Deal. How does this work? Do we clasp hands?”

  “Nae, we’re attached already. Just hold on.”

  Everything disappeared, including Lachlan’s physicality. His stomach churned, which was strange since he had no body. They spun blindly through chowder-thick, dark fog. Then, up ahead, light filtered through, and he felt Olaf’s anxiety tingle through him as they veered away from it. The Light, then.

  What they headed toward, as the fog thinned, produced even more anxiety. A black sphere floating in nothingness. It shook and flickered as though it contained a great lightning storm. That was hell right there. She never said she’d been afraid, but if he felt fear, she probably had, too.

  “It wasna doing that before, the shaking business.”

  That wasn’t good.

  Olaf pointed to a place that looked different from the rest of the sphere. “There, that’s how she went in.” He rolled out a golden rope. “Tie it onto ye. It’s the only way ba—” He looked behind him as light washed over them, like sun streaming through a break in the clouds. “Hurry. I’ll no’ be waitin’ here if ye take too long.”

  What would happen if Olaf went to the Light while he was in the Void? Don’t think about that.

  Remembering Jessie telling him how the rope came loose as she tried to free her father, Lachlan wrapped it around his wrist several times and floated toward the opening. As he reached it, the sphere trembled again. He pushed his way inside. She’d said she could feel her father’s energy and followed it to him. Lachlan tuned in and felt her. He knew about timing his progress between breaths, about the fleshy folds. Seeing them made him admire her even more for going back the second time.

  He heard a woman screaming but knew it wasn’t Jessie. Her mother, then. He followed Jessie’s energy to the left, impatient with each breath he had to wait through. Finally, he broke through into a room barely big enough to contain him . . . and Jessie, lying on the floor with a panicked and now shocked expression. Relief rocked him.

  But she didn’t look at all relieved. “No! Please, go, Lachlan. It will suck you in. Now I know how my dad felt when he saw me here. Please, go.”

  “Not without you.”

  “I’m already stuck. You can’t get me out.”

  “Hell I can’t.” He pulled her arms, struggling to free her. She was right; the gray mass on the floor held her tight.

  “I’ve already tried everything possible to free Dad. Just go.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, Jess.” That’s when he saw the man, or what was visible of him, in the wall. It was more gruesome than he’d imagined.

  “Get her out of here,” her dad whispered.

  Lachlan stared into his desperate eyes. “I will.”

  A violent shake made him stumble.

  “Don’t fall!” Jessie screamed. “It’ll grab you.”

  He righted himself and pulled at her again.

  “That’s love, Ally,” her father said.

  “No, it’s insanity. Lachlan, please go!”

  Lachlan studied how the gray muck, hard as dried glue, mired her legs.

  Her father said, “Russell and I loved your mother for the wrong reasons. Love isn’t the right word for it. I wouldn’t go into a place like this to rescue her. I wanted her because Russell want
ed her. He had taken something precious from me, or at least that’s how I saw it. I wanted to punish him. For Russell, she represented someone to love him, to love. He would possess her because he had nothing else. It became a war over Calista.”

  Two brothers loving the same woman. Look how that had ended. Lachlan kept working. Was her leg coming loose, just an inch?

  “So you killed her. And him, too,” Lachlan said.

  “I don’t think I would have killed her just because she had been having an affair. It was the twisted, dark nature of it, of their intention. Russell was dying. She brought him to our home so that he could take over my body. When I figured out what they were up to, Darkness overtook me.”

  “Oh, Daddy, that’s terrible. How could she . . .” Jessie’s face shadowed. “Because she’s a selfish, callous person.”

  “She knew, didn’t she?” Lachlan asked her.

  Jessie nodded, seemingly unable to say the word. Tears glittered on her cheeks.

  Lachlan wanted to kiss them away, but he needed to free her more than he wanted to comfort her. He grunted with effort, but his mind went back to two brothers fighting over one woman, becoming insane over it. Killing the object of their obsession. The rope squeezed his wrist, tight as a snake.

  “That’s not you, Lachlan,” she said, watching his face. “Don’t even go there. You and Magnus have an entirely different relationship. You love each other. You would never hurt him on purpose.”

  He was distracted by the sucking sound coming from beneath her legs. “You’re coming out!”

  He started to put his hands down to brace against the floor.

  “No, don’t touch the floor!” her father yelled. “Dammit, I feel so helpless.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up for what you can’t do,” Lachlan said under his breath as he put every ounce of his strength into pulling her. He kept shifting his feet, feeling the suction every time he moved.

  She screamed in agony but pushed out, “No, don’t stop. I’ll be . . . okay. What happens to our bodies here doesn’t affect our real bodies.”

  He pulled again, and again. Finally, he was able to yank her leg partially free. “Oh, God . . . Jess.” What he saw turned his stomach. The gray muck was stripping the skin off her calves. And by her screams, she felt it. He could hardly breathe, seeing her raw flesh, bloody skin still attached to the floor.

  “Just keep . . . going.” Pain contorted her face and tightened her jaw.

  He did, because he couldn’t do anything else. The tearing of flesh, her gasps, killed him, stole his breath away, and still he played a life-threatening game of tug of war. With one final tear, one guttural scream, he wrenched her free.

  She fainted, falling heavily into his arms. The sphere shuddered, sending him crashing to the floor. He jumped up, gathering her, and looked at the man in the wall.

  “Go!” her father said. “And thank you.”

  With a quick nod, Lachlan turned. Using the rope, he pushed his way through the gray masses, feeling the whole thing shake and tilt. They had to get out before the damned thing exploded.

  “Help me!” Calista’s terrified screams echoed from far away.

  He feared he’d taken a wrong turn somehow, but he had the rope. It felt loose, as though he could pull it all the way in.

  Hell, had Olaf taken over his body? But Jessie could still go back, couldn’t she?

  With another shudder, the sphere belched them into the openness. Lachlan breathed, looking down as her eyes fluttered open. “We’re out,” he told her.

  “My father . . .”

  He shook his head, looking to Olaf. All he saw was the end of the rope floating freely. And Olaf, or more specifically his silhouette, floating toward the Light.

  “Olaf!”

  “Nae, it’s alright.” He was smiling. “You’re right, laddie. There canna be a hell when I feel such joy and love.”

  The Light burst brighter, blinding, and then it rocketed into the distance like a shooting star. In that same moment, Jessie and Lachlan plummeted.

  Lachlan came back with a gasp, feeling dense in his body. She woke in the same violent way.

  “I’ve got you.” He held her tight, then looked at her legs. No missing flesh, no blood.

  She trembled, running her hand over her calves. “It felt so real.” She put her hand to her stomach and realized it was bare.

  “I lost myself,” he said, pulling her shirt back down. “Buried my face against you, wanting to feel you, to know you were alive.”

  She lifted her fingers, rubbing her thumb against the tips. “I’m wet.” Her eyes widened, then softened. “Your tears.” She touched his cheek, her fingers sliding across more moisture. He took her hand and pressed it to his mouth, because he hadn’t lost her after all, and he never wanted to feel that cutting sorrow again.

  She put her other hand over her scar where it was wet. “I felt you. It tingled. We were connected, even when I was there and you were here.” She punched his arm. “I can’t believe you went there, risked everything—”

  He kissed her, bracing her face with his hands.

  She held his face, too. “Lachlan, did you save me for Magnus? Or to redeem yourself?”

  He swallowed hard. “No. I saved you for me. Selfish bastard that I am. I did it for me.”

  She hugged him, and he held her for a second. “And we’re going to save your father.”

  She pushed back, gripping his shirt. “How?”

  “We don’t have much time. We have to find Russell, trap him somehow. Can you walk?”

  “I can run, if it means saving my father.”

  They jumped up, and Lachlan grabbed his sword. “I don’t have Olaf anymore.”

  “Which means the dogs will tear you apart. But I have Darkness. And desperation. And anger. I’ll make my own damned dogs.”

  “Remember, he has desperation, too. If he gets hold of you, he can still bring your mother’s soul in if the Void hasn’t exploded yet.”

  She held out her hands, palms up, and focused on them. Harder. Gritting her teeth, groaning with the effort. Defeat racked her expression. “Nothing. It’s gone. I don’t even feel it. Oh my God. I’ve lost Darkness just when I need it most.”

  They were out of luck.

  The door burst open and two dogs raced in, followed by Russell. His manic gaze shot right to her. “You did get out!”

  No, they were dead in the water.

  “I looked on the satellite view of the area where the dogs became confused,” Russell said, looking satisfied with himself.

  The dogs rushed Lachlan. He backed against the wall, swinging his sword. “Get over here, Jess. Stay away from him.” He cut at the dogs, but the magic was gone. All he could do was nip at their shells. They backed off and then came at him again and again.

  She didn’t move. Was she so afraid she’d frozen? He shoved his way toward her, feeling the dogs’ teeth at his ankles.

  Russell’s eyes narrowed, and he smiled. “You don’t have whatever it was that helped you before. No sparks. No aura.” His gaze shifted to Jessie. “And you don’t hold Darkness.”

  She reached out to him. “Russellmylove. It’s me. I . . . I don’t know how it happened, but I came back, not my daughter.”

  Her fingers wrapped around Russell’s arm, and she stepped closer.

  “Calista?”

  She nodded, a beatific smile on her face. “It’s me, sweetheart.” Her voice was choked up, her hand against his chest.

  Russell was so captivated, the dogs paused at the lack of direction. He studied her face, flicking a glance at Lachlan, but then back at her. “It’s really you?”

  She ran her hands down her body. “I’m back!” She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheek to his chest. “We’re together at last!”

  For a second Lachlan felt time suspend. The sight strangled him. She’d just been here. He was sure it was her. So how . . . ?

  She turned just slightly and winked.

  Then he
could breathe. She was pretending to be Calista to get close to Russell. And putting herself right in his arms. It was brilliant . . . and bloody dangerous, because if he suspected . . .

  Russell wrapped his arms around her. “My love, my love,” he murmured, still keeping an eye on Lachlan.

  Lachlan had to fight not to move between them. He had to play the game. He had brought back the wrong soul. Go back to that moment when you thought it was Calista, dredge up how you felt.

  “No. Noooo.”

  Russell’s gaze pinned him. “You’ve lost. Let her go. The Void is gone now, or will be any second. You won’t hurt her body because you love her. I know that kind of love.”

  “What I feel for her is nothing like your kind of ‘love.’ I would kill to protect her, but I would never kill innocents to bring her back. Because she would never abide that.”

  She turned to him. “Don’t you dare judge me. You don’t know what it was like in that purgatory for fifteen years.”

  She was good. Damned good. Is that what the crazy bitch had said to her?

  “It’s done.” Russell was backing toward the door, his arm around her shoulder. “Should I kill him, honey?”

  “No.” Had she given herself away with that shocked word? Quickly, she added, “I mean, we don’t need to. We won.”

  Russell’s hand tightened on her. “He knows the truth. He could be trouble later. He’s caused so much already.” He looked at her. “I want to kill him.”

  He knew. Or suspected and was testing her. He raised his fist toward Lachlan.

  Something was happening around her hand that pressed against his chest. Where his heart was. Darkness, in a smoky mist, surrounded it. Had she gotten it back?

  Russell stumbled, looked down. “Wha . . . what are you doing?”

  “Daddy!” she screamed as the mist burst forward. “Daddy!”

  She pushed Russell, and they both fell to the floor. She kept her hand on his heart the whole time, gripping his arm to stay in place, calling her father over and over.

  Russell struggled, hitting her. She didn’t fall away, though. He reached out again and opened his mouth to say something. Only a groan emerged. He shuddered, his eyes rolling back. Lachlan knelt at their side but didn’t dare interrupt her. The dogs exploded into puffs of black mist. Russell’s body convulsed, fingers clutching at the floor.