Outcast (Moonlight Wolves Book 4)

by Jasmine B. Waters

  I ignored him. Closing my eyes, I pictured Andrea’s childish, round face. I remembered all of the times she came onto Steven in front of me, teasing me. I remembered her vindictive anger towards Monica, the way she openly hated her so much.

  And then I thought about before – back when we were kids. How Andrea was always the one who cried if she fell off her bike, or how she always complained that she was cold during a snow day. I tried to remember the innocent stuff – like the time she’d earnestly asked me if the Loch Ness Monster was real after my parents had taken me on a vacation to Scotland.

  Maybe it is real, Andrea, I thought with a sigh. Who knows?

  When the air around me was quiet and still, I licked my lips and began.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, putting my hand down on the ground and feeling the chill, damp dirt beneath the leaves. “I’m so sorry that things turned out like this, that you had to experience such fright and pain.”

  “Elizabeth, who are you talking to?”

  “Shh,” I said. “I just want you to know that I loved you and cared about you. You were a good friend, and you were loyal. Just know that I’m sorry, and this wasn’t personal. It was from the past, from a long time ago, and I did what I had to do.”

  I sighed, trying to picture how Andrea would accept my apology. And I was sure she’d accept it, too – after all, she was a Christian. Even if she didn’t really forgive me, she wouldn’t make me feel bad.

  Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

  “Okay,” I said, touching the ground one more time. “Thanks for listening.”

  Getting to my feet, I brushed the dirt from my knees. I’d worn a dress to church, but my tights were muddy and stained from kneeling in the grass.

  Steven got to his feet and gave me an odd look. “Elizabeth, are you feeling okay?”

  I nodded sadly. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I’ll be fine. So you want something to eat?”

  Half an hour later, Steven and I were seated across from each other in the diner. He hadn’t quit giving me strange looks since leaving the woods, but I genuinely was starting to feel a little better. Hopeless, endless guilt still welled inside of me like a hidden spring but I knew that eventually, I’d learn to shoulder it and begin to move on. Being in the woods had calmed me – it was just like Ligeia had said, about the magic of nature.

  When the waitress stopped by the table, Steven ordered bacon cheeseburgers for both of us, with extra onion rings and fries. I hadn’t felt hungry before, instead I’d been sick and nauseous. But as soon as there was a huge plate of steaming food in front of me, I ate until I had to reach under my skirt and pull the waistband of my tights over my protruding belly.

  “Feeling better?” Steven took an onion ring from my plate and wiped it in ketchup before eating it whole. “I could still have dessert,” he added.

  “God, I feel like I’m going to explode,” I said. And then there it was – the guilt, rushing back. How the heck did I just eat a huge meal, I thought. I’m supposed to be in mourning! I killed someone…and her own brother doesn’t even remember her.

  “So not dessert?”

  I shook my head. The burger had tasted good, but my nausea was starting to come back with a vengeance.

  “Can you just take me home?”

  Steven paid – he insisted – and then drove me home, his hand on my knee the whole time. It was crazy – I hadn’t felt desire, or anything like it, since before the first time we’d had sex.

  Or with David, I remembered, another pang of guilt searing my heart. You remember that? How that felt?

  “I’m going to need some time,” I said, gently pushing Steven’s hand away. He was leaning over me with his lips puckered, ready for a kiss. “I’m sorry.”

  Steven nodded. “I get that you’re going through a lot,” he said. He sighed, raking a hand through his messy blonde hair. “But I need you, Elizabeth. I need to know that you need me too.”

  I nodded slowly. “I know,” I said. I forced a smile. “Thanks for taking me, and for the walk, and for lunch,” I said. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  Steven’s smile faded. “Okay,” he said. “Later, Elizabeth.”

  With a heavy heart, I climbed out of the car and walked inside.

  Mom and Dad left me alone the rest of the day. I thought about calling Monica, but instead climbed into bed with a book from English class, A Separate Peace. But I found that losing myself in the story of two prep-school boys with problems nothing remotely like my own proved impossible. I set the book down, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

  “The spirit of Prudence has not been demolished,” Ligeia said, her blue eyes glittering in the semi-dark.

  “Why haven’t we been able to subdue her? I do not understand,” Henrik said slowly. “We did everything according to plan.”

  Ligeia took a deep breath, sighing. “I do not know,” she said. “It vexes me. And it makes me so concerned for the future – if the spirit of Prudence returns in yet another lifetime. We may not be strong enough to ensure her complete removal.”

  “But if she returns…”

  “That will mean death for us,” Ligeia said sadly. She twined her knotted fingers in her long white hair. “That will be the end. She will win, Henrik. And we will be no more.”

  Gasping and choking, I bolted awake, sitting straight up at once. My heart was pounding – what did it mean? Had that been a vision? Or merely a dream, a nightmare built on grief and guilt?

  My fingers trembled as I reached for my phone. Dialing Monica, I pressed it close to my sweaty ear.

  “Elizabeth?” Monica yawned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I had a dream,” I said quickly. “A dream about Ligeia and Henrik.”

  Monica was silent for a long time after I told her.

  “Well?” I asked. “What does it mean?”

  I heard a voice in the background and frowned.

  “Monica? You there?”

  “David, hold on,” Monica said, muffling the mouthpiece. “Give me a second.”

  My heart sank.

  “Sorry, Elizabeth,” Monica said. “I’m with David, he just wanted to know what was going on.”

  I sighed. “What do you think? I woke up sweating,” I said. “What do you think it means?”

  “I don’t know, Elizabeth,” Monica said. “I…” She trailed off.

  “What?” I bit my lip. “Don’t you think this is a big deal? I mean, don’t you think we have to do something?”

  “I have to do something,” Monica said. “You have to stay out of it.” She paused and I could tell she was thinking hard. “Look, something’s…not right with them right now, okay? I can’t really say anything else.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What does that even mean? Like, did they lie about something?”

  “Not exactly,” Monica said. She sighed loudly into the phone and I pulled it away from my ear for a second.

  “Then what?”

  “I don’t know, Elizabeth, I told you – I need some time to figure this out on my own.”

  “That’s not fair!” I whined. “I don’t get it – look, I joined the coven in the first place, just so I could help you! You can’t keep shutting me out, not if you want to come on top. This is a lot, Monica, you can’t handle it on your own.”

  “You don’t know what I’m capable of,” Monica said darkly. Something about her words chilled me to the bone. “There’s a lot you don’t understand, and I’m still trying to figure it out myself.”

  I groaned in exasperation. “But if you don’t tell me, then maybe you won’t figure it out at all! Have you ever thought about the fact that I’m trying to help you?” I asked sarcastically. “You’re my best friend, and we’re in this together! I want to make sure that nothing bad happens here!”

  “Something bad has already happened,” Monica said. “Look, I’m sorry – if it were anything else, anything in the world, you know I’d tell you. But I can’t – I don’t ev
en know the words to use, okay? You’re going to have to trust me.”

  I flopped against my pillows, shaking my head. “I hate this,” I said quietly. “I hate how this is driving us apart. Next thing I know, you’re going to disappear and then you won’t come back and I’ll never know!”

  Monica was silent for a long time before she replied.

  “I know,” she said. “I know that’s how you feel, but I promise I won’t abandon you, Elizabeth. I swear it, okay?”

  I sighed. “Fine,” I muttered angrily. “I guess this doesn’t mean anything to you, after all.”

  I hung up before Monica could reply, but when I lay back down in bed, I found that I was suddenly wide awake.

  Chapter Four

  Monica

  “Hello, Elizabeth?”

  David frowned. “What did she say?”

  “She hung up on me,” I said slowly. I blinked. “I can’t believe she’d do that.”

  David shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, you know how moody she is.”

  “Yeah, but I know she’s angry with me,” I said. And she has good reason to be, too.

  David’s dark eyes turned soft and he pulled me against his lean chest. “I don’t know how anyone could ever be angry with you,” he said.

  I closed my eyes and tried to relax. You don’t know the half of it, I thought grimly.

  “Monica?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

  I sagged against David’s body. “I love you, too,” I said quietly.

  The next morning, I got up early and made breakfast for everyone – David, Jamie, and Brian. When my parents came downstairs, they gave me a surprised look.

  “This is nice,” Jamie said. She narrowed her eyes. “Is there coffee?”

  “Yup, already on the table.”

  Jamie smiled. “What’s the occasion? I can’t remember the last time you’ve cooked for me,” she said. “Did you get a bad grade?”

  I forced a laugh. Oh, nothing, Mom, I thought sarcastically. Just about to go into the woods and possibly never come home, but you never know.

  “No reason,” I said finally. “I just wanted to do something nice.”

  “Well, this is great,” Jamie said. “I know your father’s going to be happy, too. Did David stay?”

  “Yeah. He’s in the shower. He’ll be down in a few.”

  “I’m so glad you met a nice boy, Monica,” Jamie said. She rolled her eyes. “When I was in high school, all the guys were such creeps.”

  “Yeah, that’s why you started dating your college history professor,” I cracked dryly.

  Jamie shrugged. “And then we got married and had you, what difference does it make?”

  Something about the way Jamie said that made me sad. I could tell she was thinking of the future – where I was older, maybe married with grandchildren. I could almost picture her sitting by the fire and telling my own kids how she and Brian had met.

  I shuddered.

  “Honey? You okay?”

  I nodded and grabbed a piece of bacon from the table, barely tasting it as I wolfed it down.

  “Yeah,” I lied. “I’m fine.”

  After breakfast, I walked with David out to his car. I felt profoundly sad in a way that I’d never really thought myself capable of. All of this, I thought as I looked at him. For nothing.

  “You’re quiet this morning,” David said as he pulled me into a tight hug. “Everything okay?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know. I guess I’m worried about Elizabeth,” I lied. “She seemed so upset with me last night. I should probably talk to her.”

  “Girls are so moody,” David said, teasing me. He leaned down and kissed me. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his, trying to get lost in the moment. But I couldn’t relax around David like I could before.

  Since I’d cast a spell on him, everything had changed. The things about David I’d loved – his sullen wit, the way he said whatever came into his head – had all changed. Now, he was a shell of a person, someone who followed me around like a puppy and bent to my every whim.

  This is why Elizabeth doesn’t want Steven anymore, I realized as I broke the kiss and pulled away. She knows it’s not real.

  “Hey,” David said. “I wasn’t done yet.”

  “I’m not feeling well,” I said. “I’m sorry – I think I’m just going go to lie down or something. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “I know,” David teased. He pulled up his shirt, showing me a row of faint blue bruises on his pale white chest. “You were tossing and turning all night.”

  “Sorry,” I said. “I really am sorry, David.” Sudden tears sprang to my eyes and I blinked them away, wiping at my lids with both hands.

  “Hey,” David said slowly. He put his hands on my shoulders and tried to pull me close. “What’s all this, huh? What’s the matter?” He frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before.”

  “Allergies,” I lied, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “You’ll be okay for the drive home?”

  David nodded. “Yeah. When can I see you again? You think you could come up and stay with me for a while?”

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “Sorry.”

  “Too much school work?”

  I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “I really am sorry.”

  David gave me a weird smile. “Stop apologizing,” he said. “Come on, Monica. This isn’t like you.”

  “I know,” I said. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

  David nodded. He pulled me into one last hug, squeezing me tightly. When he let go, I stood outside and watched him pull away until I couldn’t see his car anymore. With a heavy heart, I turned and walked into the woods.

  I found the coven in almost no time. Part of me wondered if Ligeia and Henrik had been expecting me. I wondered why they’d sent Elizabeth that dream, and not me – was it because they’d wanted her to contact me?

  Or was this all just part of a huge plan that I was only just starting to discover?

  “Hello, child,” Ligeia said pleasantly. She was sitting in the middle of the clearing, dried herbs scattered around her. There was a pleasant smell in the air – lavender and sage – and I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.

  “I think you know why I’m here,” I said.

  “Yes. Because of Prudence,” Ligeia said. “Well, I have good news – Henrik and I have already begun the process of splitting her soul. She will no longer torment anyone, here or on earth.”

  “And…what exactly does that entail?”

  Henrik stepped out from behind the trees, startling me.

  “Unpleasant things,” he said. “Things that cause damage to one’s own soul.”

  “Don’t do this,” I said. “Come on – you know she doesn’t pose a threat. She’s fine, she’s right here.”

  “Yes, and I’d rather her not be,” Ligeia said unpleasantly. “What are you doing here? Have you come to break your vows?”

  “Why do you need her soul?”

  Henrik laughed. “Because as soon as she is a part of us, we will share her power.” His eyes gleamed and I shuddered. I’d never been able to think of Henrik as evil, he’d always seemed kind of like an ornery old grandfather. But now that I was here, now that I could see what Henrik and Ligeia were really plotting, I felt like The Fool, striding off the edge of a cliff, just like in the tarot.

  “And we will begin a new reign,” Ligeia said. She stood and walked over to me, putting her hands on my face. I shrieked as my mind was filled with horrific visions – whole towns aflame, people screaming and groaning in pain.

  “Why?” Shoving Ligeia’s hands away, I stepped back. “Why? Why do you want to cause such evil, such destruction?”

  Henrik gave me a hardened glare. “I have already told you,” he said. “These people, these people whom you claim to know and value – these are the same people who persecuted us, who made our lives hell.” His lips widened into a smile that
chilled me to the marrow. “And now it is our turn. Now we will make them suffer, we will make them pay.”

  “But things are different now,” I protested. “People have a…much more liberal view of witches! It’s not considered a crime!”

  “You saw what havoc Prudence brought to your town,” Ligeia thundered. “I have no reason to believe you, child. I see no reason to think for a second that our kind would be accepted.”

  “Maybe not in Jaffrey,” I shot back. “But in bigger cities, like Boston? I know you could find a whole new tribe of admirers! And isn’t that what you want, after all? Don’t you just need approval?”

  “It is too late,” Ligeia said in a sing-song voice. “The process has already begun!”

  “Now, child, best for you to go home,” Henrik said. He smiled unpleasantly. “Prepare yourself, prepare Elizabeth. And if you cooperate, we will save you both.”

  “I’ll tell her,” I threatened. “I’ll go home and tell her right now.”

  Ligeia snorted. “Even if you did, do you really think you’d be able to defeat someone as powerful as I?” She burst into laughter.

  “I know she’s not dead,” I said hotly. “I can feel her spirit, she’s here!”

  Closing my eyes, I tried to sense Andrea. All I could catch was fear, panic, and a wounded heart beating slowly.

  I pulled away from Ligeia and broke into a run. My heart was pounding as I darted and dashed through the coven, avoiding the huts and other witches. As I ran, they looked up at me with surprise. I pitied them – did they know? Did they care?

  Or, like Henrik and Ligeia, were they all too eager for a world ready to bow to them and kiss their feet?

  “Andrea!” I shrieked loudly. “Andrea, where are you?”

  There was no answer. I stumbled and nearly tripped over a tree stump, but kept myself upright.

  “Andrea!” I screamed. “Where are you? I want to help you,” I added, screaming until my throat ached.

  As I ran towards the edge of the woods, the sound her heartbeat grew louder in my ears.

  “I know you’re still here,” I called. “Let me help you!”

  They locked you away, I thought angrily as I pushed into the woods and leapt over a fallen tree. They thought I wouldn’t be able to find you, Andrea. But look, here I am. And we’ll figure out something together.