Scornfully Yours (Torn Series)

by Pamela Ann

“I want you…I want to be inside you…let me in, Emma.”

  Was it wrong that I was a wee bit tempted to say yes? Was it wrong that I got wet kissing him?

  “No, Carter. You’re not just going to say sorry and slide back home like nothing happened.”

  Carter’s forehead touched mine, breathing in agony. “Will you give me another shot when you get back from filming? I will change and wait for you, Em.”

  “I don’t think you and I will happen again. I honestly don’t think I could handle it.”

  “I will be here for you, waiting, when you get back. If you’re with Bass then, I won’t care. I will fight for you, Em. I won’t stop until you’re mine again. As much as you wish it, you and I are never going to be over…even if you wanted it to be.”

  His words hung in the air.

  I looked back at the man who I’d loved before and broke my heart. When my eyes met his, his sincerity and tenacity showed through the darken depths…and in that moment I had an inkling that what he said might be true.

  But that would be my choice.

  If I choose to believe it or not.

  “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

  - Tony Tobbins

  31

  “Are you ready?” Barbara asked me, eyeing me like I was a little girl.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be I guess.” There was nothing that could soothe my wracking nerves.

  Barbara checked me in The W hotel to stay for the day before I left tomorrow. I would be with some of the other cast members that were also leaving tomorrow departing from LAX to Heathrow, then to the private island in Greece named ‘Aspasia’. Supposedly, they would make it seem that the island is Corfu. But since the actual island of Corfu was extremely busy during the summer time season, filming there would have been challenging. I don’t know how they’ll do it, but since this film is under Martin Lombardo, I guess anything could be done.

  We were in the living room enjoying refreshments as went over essential details before I left tomorrow.

  “You have a spa appointment in a few hours’ time. Bass is in Europe during his rounds of interviews for a movie he filmed before KOC. He should join the rest of the cast in a few days. That kid is always jumping from one city after another. I don’t know how he does it, but he does it with an easy breeze and superb brilliance.” Barbara Schwartz leaned back and looked at me.

  I can’t really say that I’ve warmed to her. She’s something else entirely. One thing for sure though, you couldn’t see her as being motherly or anything. She’s in her forties and doesn’t have children. Her career came first, more than anything.

  “How is Bass? I haven’t spoken to him in a while.” Okay, it was more like seven months, but who cares?

  “Not on speaking terms, are we? I knew something was up but I didn’t want to press on that subject. Moving on, I have the ‘scene list’ and your sleeping arrangement.” Barbara cleared her throat as she pulled a sheet of cream paper from a folder and handed it to me.

  The ‘scene list’ was actually a list of what type of material I would prefer during the nude scenes—with Spiros and Logan. Ha!

  “Have you gotten the name of the guy that will play Spiros for me? You haven’t mentioned it yet.”

  “Of course, his name is Dimitris Kosta. He’s Greece’s equivalent to our Bass Cole.”

  “Oh”

  “Precisely and the man is a total charmer. But be wise, will you, Emma?” Barbara sounded worried.

  “About me and Dimitris?”

  Christ. I don’t know if I should be insulted? I’m certainly not a loose cannon.

  “Oh, don’t look offended. That wasn’t my intention. All I’m saying is that you will be stuck in this place for months! You will be spending a crazy amount of time filming and not to mention the sex scenes that will happen. The men…they will need to release…and hunt for their chosen meal? We’re only human and there will be times—how do you put that? Hmm, like you will be tempted to just let go and be reckless. All I’m saying is BE safe. And if it does happen…don’t forget to take those birth control pills on a daily basis. I mean it, Emma. No unwanted pregnancies when you’re barely making a dent with your name. I can have my assistant call you even on a daily basis to remind you.”

  Geez, seriously? “Barbara, both of my parents are doctors. My mom’s a gynecologist and she never failed to drill the safe sex speech when she found out about Lewis and me. I do love babies, but I’m not ready for that. You have nothing to worry about. I guarantee it, okay?”

  “Good. Moving on, read through the scene list and circle what you prefer. Of course, it would be best to discuss that with Martin or with your partner beforehand. Whatever works really. Do you need Shiva to come here and practice running your lines together?”

  Gosh, I know I’m new but my memory isn’t lagging. I think the past months with Shiva will suffice. I needed a break from it—even if it was for only a day or two. I’d take it.

  “I am fine. I want to go shopping before my spa appointment. I want to grab a few things before tomorrow.” I huffed out a sigh and took a sip of my iced water.

  “I informed Martin’s assistant, Jack, about your sleeping arrangement. You did say you wanted to stay in the cottage?”

  Yeah, I so want to be alone and wake up greeted by the breathtaking beauty of the Aegean Sea. “Yes, I’d rather stay in the cottage instead of staying at the villa.”

  Barbara ate a bite-sized cannoli and dabbed a napkin around her pristine red-painted lips. “I did tell Jack that. He said that a lot of the crew actually chose to stay in the cottages too. There are actually twenty cottages with two to four bedrooms in each and the thirty guestroom villa can house the rest of the crew. Jack said he would try to secure you your own cottage since we submitted the request at a very later stage.”

  “I understand. I apologize it took me awhile to get back to you about that. It’s been hectic with finals and all.” Excuses, excuses.

  Barbara gave me a curt nod. “Just make sure that doesn’t happen again because in this business, everything changes and shifts in the blink of an eye. Your phone is your salvation. Keep it close to you at all times. Little things like these are essential, Emma. You must understand that.”

  I am trying to but I would try harder. “I will, Barbara. Trust me, I will. I will take everything that is related to work very seriously.”

  That promised statement earned me a pretty smile. “That’s more like it. I don’t want to work with a harebrained actress. If you work with me fluidly with communication, you and I will get on just fine, Emma. Bass and I have a brilliant working relationship and I want that with you as well. I see the fire in your eyes now, keep that and you will become successful. This movie will make or break you, dear. But nevertheless, I don’t underestimate Lombardo’s choice, so I am really aiming for you to become the next ‘it’ in Hollywood. Just as long as you don’t get too caught up with all the trappings of drugs and sex tape scandals, you’re going to do fine.”

  Sex tapes? My, my. My world really is changing.

  “Huh. Well, I don’t plan to scandalize all of America with my crotch thank you.” There was one thing I wanted out of this and that was to be recognized as a good actress…not run with insanity. Even with the sex scenes in the movie, I was assured that the only thing they would show were my breasts and the explicit scenes would be shot sideways or above us, so the ‘cock-sock’ and the vagina pastie or the thong wouldn’t show anything…whichever I decide to wear.

  “Splendid, then I suppose I have to run along. I will check upon you in a week or so. Have a safe trip.” Barbara got up and gave me a quick hug.

  Chanel No.5 scent hit me full blast. Goodness, did the woman bathe herself in it? A spritz or two should suffice, not the entire damn bottle!

  “Thank you. I’ll speak to you soon!” I gave
her a tight smile and her A-line designer white dress that accentuated her curves as she sauntered towards the door to exit my room.

  I groaned as I got up, went inside my room and hunted down my purse. If there was one thing that would help me ease my nerves it was shopping. I guess I could splurge a little bit today. I just got partially paid and that amount was sitting nicely in my bank account. I suppose a dent on the amount wouldn’t destroy me, so why not be fanciful, even for a few hours?

  Rodeo Drive and Robertson Boulevard here I come!

  After a long eleven hour plane ride from Los Angeles to London, I was beyond ready to fall in my bed and snore the night away once we checked in at The Dorchester Hotel for the night. Tomorrow, we would fly to Greece. There were twenty of us–David Shilling and Ross Maitland were the only ones I knew. None were really talkative because they were stuck texting, typing or screaming at their phones. I wasn’t sure about the ratio. Was I intimidated? A bit, but I just acted like them so that they didn’t notice. Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

  Once inside my room, I pulled out my phone and sent a mass text message to my family and friends.

  Just checked in @ the Dorchester H and I’m pooped! I will get in touch once we land in Greece. Love all you peeps!

  During the plane ride, I had a lovely chat with Ross Maitland. She had that whole warm motherly feel to her that reminded me of my own mother. It didn’t take much time for us to start chatting about her kids and what I should expect for my first time being in a movie. She was very reassuring and I was glad when she didn’t question me about Bass.

  I did meet all of them during that dinner party at Martin Lombardo’s home. Bass has been reported for the past few months alongside different girls, coming out drunk from night clubs or getting into icky, icky situation like that balcony scandal. The playboy did come out of hiding as I learned and tracked his shenanigans through the gossip sites.

  I didn’t want to, but at the same time my curiosity was killing me. I wanted to know what he’d been up to since I couldn’t bring myself to call or even text him. After all, none came from him either. So, why make the big gesture? Because…because you’ve been dying to hear from him?

  We were scheduled to leave right after breakfast tomorrow, much to my dismay. I longed to see London and visit The Tower of London. The story of King Henry and his six queens always piqued my interest, two of which got beheaded at the famed tower. Insane isn’t it? How could he behead the mother of his child, Queen Anne, because he wanted to bang another chick? I know it ran deeper than that and it was political, but still…He was cray cray.

  Out of all six wives, I admired his first wife, Queen Catherine of Aragon. That infanta took it all in a stride with poise and such ease even if she was dying inside. She was a real lady through and through. She overlooked Henry’s faults because of her undying love for him. But died because of it… love… what a blasted feeling…

  With Carter, things were just so muddy and complicated. How could I be with someone who doesn’t willingly love you? He knows it and he partially accepts it. So in retrospect, it is half and half. No thank you. He might be groveling now but I didn’t trust him one iota. Women, his women, would always be there on the sidelines.

  Been there, done that. Lesson finally learned.

  Once we deplaned and I saw the island of Aspasia, I was in love. My God, this little island was a beautiful piece of heaven. Stretch after stretch of beautiful white sand and the clearest of the bluest water I had ever seen.

  This island was to be my home for the next few months…hell yes!

  “Welcome to Aspasia,” a young tanned girl, somewhere in her later teens, greeted us. She stood next to a small circular table with a blue table cloth with prepared iced lemonade with lemon zest in them and a white straw. Pretty neat…I loved Greece already!

  There were fifteen six-seater pimped out golf carts and three Jeeps with matching uniformed drivers in each. I’m assuming the Jeeps were for the equipment and luggage. I knew that the important folks (set designers, lighting, sound, and all those super essential peeps who I refer to as ‘the foundation’) flew in weeks before to prepare the set.

  “Will you be staying at the villa?” David Shilling asked me. Some of the people took their drinks and left with their assigned ride.

  I shook my head. “Nah, I’m staying in one of the cottages. I want to be close to the beach.”

  Ross Maitland laughed, “You young kids! See you during dinnertime then.”

  We grabbed our iced beverage and said our thanks to the smiling girl. “See you guys then!”

  With a quick wave, I walked towards the cart that said ‘Ms. Emma Anderson’. Wow, everything was done efficiently around here.

  “Herete, I’m Anaxos and I will be driving you to your cottage,” a man in his fifties-ish greeted me with superb hospitality.

  “Hello, yes, that would be lovely, thank you,” I gave him a bright smile before I slid into the second row. From the plane, the island was huge. I saw a lot of orchards and olive trees. I was told that the other side of the island was where other people lived. I saw big villas lining the shore and other regular cottages too. I heard the owner of the island only sold the land for others to build houses on if he knew them personally. The rest of the population, it seemed, were the people who worked for him and made the island their home. So, I guess it’s like their own little exclusive hideaway.

  The ride to the cottage was a breath taking scenery. The cottages were right about the shore. The wide pathways were lined with beautiful colorful flowers and boulder rocks. I could see the expanse of the villa from afar. It sat atop of a hill. We passed a few cottages and it seemed that they were half a mile apart. I had no idea why they called them cottages when they looked like a freaking dream houses. They were all in white with hot pink bougainvillea crowding them. They were perfect!

  After what seemed like ten minutes, Anaxos finally stopped at the very end of the pathway. The cottage was a bit bigger than the ones we passed by. The other ones looked like they had two bedrooms, but this one looked like it had four.

  Excited, I hopped out of the pimped out cart. “Thank you, Anaxos.”

  He gave me a toothy smile, “No problem, despeenis. Here is your key. Enjoy the beautiful islands of Greece. Have a good day. Your luggage will be delivered to you very soon.”

  I gave him a quick wave before he jumped back in and drove off. Bubbles of excitement rushed through me as I used my key to open the cottage.

  The moment I walked in, the glaring view of the Aegean Sea greeted me. Glass doors and floor-to-ceiling glass before me, past it was a large shaded patio with an all-white pergola adorned with the twining hot pink bougainvillea again. I strolled towards it and checked it out. It even had an outdoor rattan canopy bed, table for six, lounge chairs and the pathway to the beach. I moved over to the white cement railing and took a long whiff of the sea air.

  “Ahhh…this is the life!” I closed my eyes and basked in the sun’s warmth.

  I jumped when I heard a noise. I tensed and listened to it carefully. There was nothing….nothing….then…the banging sound began again. I tensed once the banging got even louder.

  Was someone at the door?

  I moved back inside and walked towards the door. I peeked at the peephole, but there was no one there.

  Okay…

  The banging got frenzied. I tensed when I realized someone was having sex in one of the rooms.

  I have a house mate? Ah, fuck.

  “Yes! Give me that meat you dirty fucker!” A woman’s voice screamed. The banging got out of hand then. It was like a stampede or like hundreds of horses galloping at the same time. The woman was screaming. Her unadulterated scream echoed all over the house.

  Holy crap, she sounds like she’s getting some hard heavy pounding.

  I stood in the middle of the living room as I listened… hell yeah I listened! It was like listening to porn…but with surround sound.

 
; “Yes! I’m coming!” The woman screamed like she was being murdered.

  Oh, deary. If this woman was to become my housemate, she and I would have to set some ground rules. I didn’t want these kind of loud screaming noises keeping me up late at night. That would be a living nightmare.

  After what seemed like a marathon of wall banging, it finally ended.

  How long have I been listening? A long while…

  I was about to move when I heard a door open. A beautiful exotic woman (who looked like Sophia Vergara’s doppelganger but with green eyes) came out of the room wearing only a skimpy shirt. From the looks of it, it wasn’t hers. Her hair was wacky…banged up hair. Ha!

  She was smiling but halted when she finally saw me. “Oh, hello, I’m Alexia.” Without waiting a response from me, she went over to the other side of the room towards the kitchen.

  Okay…that was odd.

  “Lex can you grab me some water too?” A male voice yelled as I watched the door open and a black tight-boxer brief clad Bass came out.

  HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL! You have got to be joking!

  “Emma?”

  I squeaked.

  Fuck!!!!!

  Floor, please swallow me whole.

  “What are you doing here?” Bass asked as he came closer, wearing a weird expression on his face.

  I think he was trying to make sure it was really me. The more he came close to view the more I noticed how his body had a nice glossy sheen of sweat. It only made his abs and shoulders much pronounced. His cheeks were even flushed. Gah! Stop gawking, Emma.

  Did he just ask me a question? Where the hell did my voice go?

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  I cleared my throat, not meeting his eye. “I was told this was my cottage,” I finally spoke after the gawking.

  “Here you go stallion,” Alexia kissed Bass on the lips and handed him his water.

  “I thought this was mine. Jack himself arranged it for me,” Bass spoke in a tone I wasn’t familiar with.