by Inia Jardine
Jonah just shakes his head in disbelief. 'What were people thinking?'
‘Some people still think it's a sin. Mixing the races. Ku Klux Klan…’
Caribbean slavery and the sugar industry and everything surrounding it seem much worse but it is relatively less frequently talked about. It seems that the collective memory of people was wiped out to facilitate easier living. Living without the past weighing on your conscience. It sometimes feels like most white people totally ignore that part of history and just blame black people, generalise them terribly, for being different, uneducated and stuck in the past. Just look at us, I’m white and very uneducated compared to you.’
‘I’m sure you are educated Lilia.’ He frowns.
‘Not like you, I just have a diploma.’
‘What did you concentrate on in your slavery research?’
‘As you know, untold numbers of men were forcefully taken from their homes by slave boat owners, chained and beaten. Those who survived the torturous journeys were used as forced labour. Most women and children were left behind in their villages to try and survive. Some villages were left almost deserted as men, women and children were taken, abducted. They were denied education and just had to work themselves to death.
Just imagine if it all did not happen. I’m sure world would have been a better place.
I plan to eventually document my research in book format - maybe a novel, maybe a historical manuscript. In order for people to be reminded, to never forget what happened.’
'It is a great ambition Lilia. But I still want to know about your interest in Jamaica especially? There are many other destinations familiar with slavery I can think of.’
‘You are going to think that I am shallow but my first interest in Jamaica came as a result of a song. I always liked to listen to Goombay Dance Band and Boney M when I was young and danced to it in the eighties. Still do, I love to dance. I am sure you know the song…’
‘Must be Slavery, yes, a strong song’ He interrupts. ‘ I believe the song was quite unpopular in white South Africa at the time, but the rest of their songs very popular. Sun of Jamaica, Rain and the Christmas songs. I could never understand why a country with a white minority who lorded over the black majority liked bands consisting of mostly people of colour.’
‘I guess we all long for the idyllic island life, wherever or whatever we are in the world. But no, it was actually not only that one that first peaked my interest although it hurt me to listen to the lyrics of that song. Sad, but true. It was a song by Boney M called Visions of Blue that made me long for island life. The other ones were Island in the Sun, Aloha eh, Flamingo, Caribbean Girl, Paradise of joy and laughter, Island of dreams, yes…Rain I love obviously and Indio Boy by Goombay Dance Band. I loved all of them, particularly the island rhythm. I was also secretly in love with the guys in both bands.'
‘I dare say I am a quite a big Goombay Dance Band and Boney M fan but I have never heard of a song with that title. Are you sure it was by one of them?’
‘Of course, you must know it’ and I proceed to sing, quite softly and as it comes back to me, with more feeling and elaborate hand gestures. ‘Visions of blue, remind me of you...' I could see the blue skies and blue oceans in my mind, ‘palm trees swaying over sleepy lagoons’…they were such a beautiful group of rhythmic souls and I always loved dancing.'
I stop suddenly and feel like slapping Jonah hard. Really hard. He is laughing so much that tears actually start running down his face. He can’t seem to stop.
‘Well, ef you Mr Professor person, I will leave right now. You have the manners of a pig. And that is insulting the pig. I may not have an ego anymore but I do still have feelings.’ Well, that didn’t last long.
I shove my chair backwards and jump up so fast that my nearly empty coffee mug falls to the floor. ‘Look what you made me do, you ogre!’
‘Lilia, Lilia forgive me, please sit back down so that I can explain myself’ Jonah stutters through his mirth.
‘No, you are rude! Not all of us are blessed with beautiful voices! I know I sound like Mickey Mouse on helium but that is the way I was born and I can’t change that. Go and take a flying f... ummm leap into the sea.’
He jumps up and reaches for my arm. ‘Lilia, I am so sorry but it was just so funny. The song is called Ribbons of Blue, not Visions of Blue. It just cracked me up. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me.’
Blushing violently, I sit down. I feel like putting my head under the table I am so embarrassed. ‘Oh my word I can’t believe that I am such an ass! The quintessential dumb blonde. For all these years I have been convinced that it is Visions, not Ribbons. You know that we never had Google in those days so I could not look up the lyrics and I never thought about doing it either. It has just always been a song I loved to dance to.'
Obviously my memories are not that clear (like in the song). 'I am totally stupid and very well deserving of the worst blonde jokes. You can tell your worst one now, just once, and I will take it like a man.’
‘OK, he giggles, how do you drown a blonde in a submarine?
Knock on the door.’
He laughs so loudly that all the people stare at our table. Most are actually smiling, enjoying his happiness.
I blush. ‘OK I have one too. What do you call a really clever blonde?’
‘Tell me.’
‘A golden retriever.’ I smile.’I feel so stupid Jonah and that I am wasting your time. Think I must go home now. I will drop off your clothes tomorrow. Thanks for the coffee. And showing me the anole and trumpet tree.’
I get up to leave.
I am all but falling over my words like a kid caught cheating in the exams when he unexpectedly takes my hand. ‘You most definitely are all woman Lilia.
How would you like to have dinner with me tonight?’ he asks quietly. 'To apologise for laughing at you and being an ogre.'
‘Of course, but why would you want to? I am an idiot.'
'Please? I love spending time with you. You are different.'
'I will but only if you let me get the bill to thank you for your kind loan of this wonderful outfit.’
'We can argue about that later. Where do I pick you up?'
3
Back at my bungalow I am shaking, nervously dropping stuff like a silly teenager before a first date. I swallow half of my ‘fear of flying’ tranquilliser and finish preparing for the date.
That is what it is, isn't it? One thing I know is that I will not be tired soon; I am on a caffeine high after all of that delicious coffee with Jonah. It will be a late night if we continue talking non-stop like we have the past few hours.
After a long hot shower, I dress in a floor length skirt with many colourful birds and flowers printed on. I bought at the street market a few days before, together with a skimpy purple top. It is so hot here. With my flat purple sandals it should do perfectly for a ‘not too eager - not too sloppy’ look. I add my wrap as you never know with this sudden rain events.
I don’t want to scare the guy off because I really, really like his company. Only when you are Stella or Shirley Valentine will it lead to something like a holiday fling. And that is not for me, I am a celibate old woman. Happy to be. Why are all these romantic movies replaying themselves in my head tonight? Am I desperate or just lonely? But it will not happen in my boring life. It is just a friendly date where two people will enjoy each other's companionship. That is all.
I ponder over what was said this afternoon and what we will still have to talk about while twisting my hair into a loose chignon and fastening it with an antique silver clip.
The damp heat is back with a vengeance tonight. It makes my dead straight hair all curly and wild. At my age I sweat so easily, yuck. That is why I usually pin my hair up like an old lady. Add lots of deodorant and that should do the trick. Don't forget a few dabs of Flower by Kenzo, my favourite perfume which I fortunately discovered at the duty free shop.
Jonah turns up for our dat
e at exactly 19:00. As women are, I am still concluding the rounding off of my ensemble and he has to sit and wait for me for a few minutes.
‘You look like a real Jamaican woman with that colourful skirt’ he observes. ‘You are very pretty, and perfectly dressed for our destination.’
‘Thanks Prof Hibbert, but pretty I am not. I love all creatures and when I saw this skirt I fell in love at first sight. Now you have me apprehensive though, where are we going – to dine in the jungle or botanical garden?’
He laughs his special laugh and my knees weaken. ‘No my dear, something even better.
You may have a slight problem with our means of transport though but come, it is only a short drive but if we don’t hurry we might miss it...’
Miss what?
The means of transport turns out to be a motorcycle, to be specific a silver Ducati and I love it.
‘Silver dream machine! I exclaim. I love it!’ I’ve a dream, silver dream machine…freedom is the word I sing…David Essex…long nights of dancing. Great memories.
I love bikes but have never owned one myself. I pull my long skirt up to an indecent level and put my leg over the seat behind Jonah. ‘Let’s go!’ I put my arms loosely around his middle and try not to admire his broad back too much.
Our destination is glorious, glorious. The tiny beach restaurant Pebbles on the Beach, is built into the rocky cliff so as to blend in with the wild natural vegetation. Their few tables are set out on a wooden deck, and some on the pristine pebbly beach in this small alcove. As I turn around to appreciate my surroundings I gasp.
‘Oh look at that, what a spectacular sunset! I have never seen colours blended together like that!’
The sun is just going down over the ocean and it is a palette of pinks, purples, reds, orange, peach and every shade in between.
‘Glad you like it, especially ordered for you tonight’ and with that Jonah hugs me.
I am too stunned to reciprocate. This unexpected male bodily contact actually makes me feel quite faint and I ask the waiter, who appears at our side, for a tall glass of still water.
‘Tonight it is rum not water - my purple chameleon, that is who you are. We have something to celebrate – island style’ Jonah interjects.
I don’t really like rum but I’m game to try anything local, well almost anything. As long as he doesn’t ask me to eat strange meat. Not any meat in fact.
‘OK, I will try it but if I don’t like it, it’s red wine for me again. But what are we celebrating? The glorious sunset?’
‘Maybe. Seeing that we are on the subject of revolutionizing your taste buds, I would like you to partake in another island custom. Not to confuse the issue, I can assure you that I am not a habitual smoker. Of cigarettes that is. Can I interest you in a little weed?’
‘Give me a minute Jonah,' I am still reeling from the Professor guy being so liberal. 'Seriously? You surprise me more by the minute. I would never have categorised you as number one a motorbike rider and number two the adventurous weed smoking species. Even I know that the stuff is still illegal here. What I was referring to earlier was not this 'weed' but real medicinal herbs, those used by past generations before the big pharmaceuticals took over the world and made us all sick.’
‘Prejudices and stereotypes. I am not to be so easily categorised either. Yes, I know it's basically illegal, but if you know the correct people...and you are in a safe place with friends, why not? It is a very light mix, especially for newbies. We call it Mary Joanna - it just relaxes you a bit, makes you mellow so you won't run away from me. The legal stuff I will show you tomorrow in the archives.’ The Cheshire cat grin is back.
‘If you are daring me, I will try. I don’t smoke either but I will join you this once. Live dangerously...’
‘Do not go anywhere. I’ll be back now.’
Jonah returns within three minutes with a ganja ‘cigarette’ for me. I have the exquisite scenery to appreciate so didn’t mind being left on my own.
‘You can get it almost anywhere but they need to know that you will keep quiet about it. As I said it is still illegal. But they know me here. Enjoy.’
After puffing a bit on my spliff like a novice, and coughing a lot, I feel that I have the courage to start opening up to this relative stranger. It does not really affect me though, must be all in the mind.
I suddenly remember something. ‘You will laugh when I tell you but my first taste of weed was at a Modern Talking concert held at Sun City in the eighties. So long ago, it seemed like a different world then.’
‘Yes I remember that duo, I love their music. Maybe you will start hearing colours and seeing sounds soon. So now on to the celebration.’
‘And what do we celebrate tonight again kind sir?’ I ask.
‘Our amazing meeting and imminent relationship’ Jonah replies.
I laugh in a very unladylike fashion. ‘Prof, I think you have lost your mind somewhere on this beach, with the help of the weed. Should we go and look for it?’ I am astonished at what he just said.
‘Lilia, since the first moment I saw you walking across the park from my office window with your dress transparent from the rain, I knew. I just knew I had to get this vision resembling every guy’s wet dream, a closer look. You were looking so helpless with your papers lying in the puddle, I knew I had to rescue you. I fell in lust with you on sight.’
‘Rescue me, my ass! I didn’t need rescuing! I can take care of myself!’ I reply a bit too heatedly. This guy pushes my buttons but I like the lust part. Lust is good in its place. It only leads to trouble though and is not worth much. He must be joking. Well I can do joking too. 'Lust? You helped me because of lust? Strange creature indeed.'
‘Cut, cut he yells. Everybody freeze! My fellow actress in this epic has lost the plot! This is the part where she says ‘yes oh yes take me I’m yours’’.
‘You wish - arrogant sir!’
This is too presumptuous even for me. Even as a joke. I still have my pride. Well, the little left over after this afternoon’s fiasco. I must have shown my porcupine spikes because Jonah moves his chair back and holds out his arms as to protect himself.
‘Wow, don't hurt me! We should work on your sense of humour Lilia, me thinks you lost it somewhere on this beach, maybe the same place I lost my mind! Kidding my dear, only kidding! Goodness, smoke some more weed quickly and lighten up. So I lust after you, is it that bad? Don’t be so uptight.’
OK, so now I am upset that he was kidding. What the hell is wrong with me?
‘No more for me thanks it will only get me deeper into trouble.’
'What kind of trouble are you in?'
‘Here is your rums folks, what can I bring you for appetisers? Our special fruit and cheese platter for two?’ asks the waiter who materialised out of thin air and rescued me from having to answer.
‘Lilia, hello, are you with us?’ Jonah looks worried.
‘Yes thanks, that will be fine’.
‘What’, Jonah interjects. ‘The fruit & cheese or the lust part?’
‘Both’.
I cannot believe I have just said that.
‘Ha-ha, now I’m kidding!’ I try to rescue the situation.
Jonah gets of his chair and gets down on one knee in the sand. ‘Lilia Lamonte, gardener extraordinaire, will you then at least do me the favour of allowing me to kiss you? I have been holding myself in for hours now. I have to let it out.'
Let me catch my breath.
‘This is not a cheesy movie Jonah’ goodness knows why I am falling for this performance. ‘Hey, I like you as much as the next guy but whoa, hold your horses, we have just met and I am not an ‘easy chick’. No amount of theatrics or weed is going to change my mind.’
After the embarrassing and awkward moment passes, we simultaneously burst out laughing.
I connect with this cheeky guy on some level, I cannot explain it.
Then I do the weirdest thing. Some alien force (or maybe the Mary Joanna) has taken control of
my body. I go down on my knees in the pebbly sand facing him.
This must make the most peculiar picture, the two of us kneeling in the pebbly sand beside our table, giggling like teenagers. But then, this is Jamaica. Home of weed.
