by Inia Jardine
‘In that case, I suppose you mean that another two-legged male has felt comfortable here before, in which case we need to get out of here as soon as possible. We need to find our own place. Our fantasy haven where we can be a family.’
With no history of other men to taint it.
If Jonah only knew.
‘I was very good most of the time’ I shout light-heartedly across my shoulder as I walk to the kitchen to go and feed the hungry kitties. ‘I felt extremely lonely one night...no details... but now you are here with me and I am sure you will cater to my every need.’
‘I don’t want to know.’
No he doesn’t. Jonah is sulking. Males are such intricate animals. They can screw around as much as they want but if they suspect that you have had a few lovers they feel very affronted.
Strange.
I wonder how he will feel if he knew the truth.
Back in the room Jonah says ‘you know what I missed almost more than I missed you Lilia?’
‘What Big J?’
‘Your boobs.’
‘What is so special about my boobs that you missed them more than me?’
‘They are big and soft and bouncy.’
‘You are going to have to apologise for that. Bouncy is not really flattering.’
‘But this is’ and he points toward the tent he is making under the sheets.
‘I suppose if you feel like that about them it is flattering. Have you no end young man?’ I sigh theatrically as I get back into bed with him. Just then the phone rings.
I cannot believe this. It is Carl. An obviously drunk Carl.
‘Hiya Lilia, a couple of us guys are out and we are discussing you and Bella. Shall I tell them about my lesbo experience with the two of you?’ I can hear them laughing in the background and I slam down the phone.
Jonah sits bolt upright. ‘Am I intruding on someone’s territory Lilia?’
‘No Jonah, it is just an unstable asshole who is trying his best to make my life miserable. Just ignore that call. I don’t really want to talk about it.’
‘I can see that you are upset Lilia, some or other way you are going to have to start trusting me. What is the problem?’
I have no choice now but to tell Jonah. I do trust him and he is with me now. He is my man.
‘I am going to kill that fucker. Where was he calling from?’
Jonah flies out of bed and gets dressed hurriedly. I have never seen him so angry before. He is actually shaking and struggles to button his shirt. His face is all puffy like a hissing cat.
‘Jonah, no. He said that he would ruin my and Bella’s reputations if I ever talked about it. She is an important businesswoman in this town. He might get to her now that you are here with me, she is on her own. Just leave it be please? He is the Castle owner’s cousin after all, and I don’t want to upset that kind old man’ I beg him, I do not want to be responsible for anything happening to my friend.
‘Lilia, if this guy so much as talks to you or Bella there is nothing that will hold me back. I will hurt him badly. I need to tell him that, if nothing else.’
I realise that nothing will stop Jonah now and I get dressed too.
‘OK, but I want to go with you. We need to do this as civilly and publicly as we can, I need to show him that we are in this together. He might make more false accusations if you corner him somewhere.’
I do not add that Carl is an outspoken racist. That will just make Jonah even more mad.
As we arrive at the pub where I suspected Carl and his cronies phoned from, a hush falls over the punters. There are not a lot of dark skinned people in Arumvale, and Jonah stands out like a sore thumb. If he were a person of small stature I would never have allowed him into a situation like this. White faces leer at us from all corners of the pub.
‘I wish to see a certain Carl Tomlinson. Is he possibly in attendance here?’ Jonah sounds very calm. Very much in control. Very hoity-toity if I must be honest. I am so impressed and proud - as I am not a bar room brawl kind of girl.
As Carl gets up and swaggers towards us I change my mind. I sincerely hope Jonah punches that smirk off his face.
‘I am him. What do you want, jungle bunny?’
‘That is grammatically incorrect. It is ‘I am he’, and I am a Caribbean mulatto, a cross breed, not a jungle bunny and actually there are no bunnies in the jungle. You are obviously too stupid to know better. I am from Jamaica, and proud of it. I would like to discuss something with you in private, white boy.’
There is dead silence in the place. It is starting to feel a little uncomfortable.
‘Go Carl, talk to the man outside. I don’t want trouble in here, this is a respectable place. You have had enough to drink anyway.’ I am so thankful that George Edmunds, the owner, is present. He is friends with the Castle owners and must know that cousin Carl is a habitual troublemaker.
‘I got no interest in talking to a coconut. Fuck off’ he unfortunately says and pushes past Jonah.
Jonah calmly takes him by the front of his sweater and pulls him close. He says in a clear, crisp voice so that everyone can hear ‘Listen to me now white boy. If I ever, ever hear anything bad about either Lilia here or her friend, who is my friend too - Bella Samir, I will squash you like the albino mosquito that you are. Do you understand me?’
I can see that Carl is not going to let this one go as he is filled with drunken courage. He haphazardly hits out at Jonah’s face. That was most probably the stupidest thing he has ever done as my Jonah loses his cool and throws him across the closest, thankfully unoccupied, table.
‘I will pay for the table sir,’ he addresses George Edmunds, ‘just send me the bill p/a Mrs Lamonte’s address. That is where I am residing, permanently. And my name is Hibbert, Jonah Hibbert. Can the people with Mr Tomlinson who are still conscious, please inform him of this? Thank you’ and with that he takes my hand and we walk out of the bar, heads held high.
‘Oh Jonah, I am so impressed. You actually kept your cool. Sort of, well, you did not kill him. Thanks. That was masterful. I’m so glad that you’ve got my back.’ I have always wanted someone who I could trust that much – now I do. I learnt that expression from James Patterson, one of my favourite authors. Jonah has got my back, of that I am now 100% certain.
He looks at me and blows out his breath. ‘It took all I had not to crunch that boy’s skull. I have had to become skilled at self-discipline over the years because I have been in similar situations many times. I would have been locked up years ago if I vented my anger every time a racist called me names. I must add however, if that guy or anyone else tries to hurt you I will get locked up, pronto, as I will kill him. I hope he realised that even in his drunken state.’
‘I’m sure he did Jonah, and if he didn’t, his mates surely did. Everyone in this little town will know about you tomorrow, and it makes me proud. I love you Big J.’
‘Remember to show me when we get home, OK? You are not embarrassed about being seen with a coconut?’
‘It is my utmost desire and my pleasure. You are not a coconut anyway; I don't like coconut all that much. You are my beautiful big Jonah and I love you more every minute.’
We park at home but go next door to Bella’s home first, to inform and warn her of the situation.
‘So sorry we have to meet like this Jonah, I have been waiting to make your acquaintance but did not want to intrude. I know that you guys are meant to be together. Thanks for standing up for us ‘lesbos’ (she chuckled) but I am not afraid of that ass-wipe. I have had martial arts training and I will kick his butt if he bothers me. He most probably knows it too. He is just a big mouth. But I’m glad you’ve got my back.’
‘Lilia was right; you do look like a Mayan goddess. Lovely to meet you face to face at last. I feel sorry for the guy who judges you solely on your looks! He will get a thrashing for that I am sure. I do love self-reliant young women.’
I look at Jonah, then Bella, and say ‘I said exactly the same thing
to Jonah. Also, I sure am glad that she is my best friend and will never steal you from me, I see sparks happening here.’
They both laugh and hug me at the same time.
‘Lilia, you are the link between the three of us, we both care so much for you. Even if we hated each other on sight we would have been nice to one another to ensure your happiness. What Bella never told you was that she contacted me after your very short Jamaican holiday to find out how I felt about what happened. We chatted pleasantly, without betraying your confidence. Bella knew I would come here at some stage; she was asked to keep an eye on you for me.’
‘Love you guys’, that means a lot to me. Don’t do it again though, okay?’
‘Okay, okay’ they chorus.
‘I think we have to go and eat now as I have not had anything since my arrival except coffee!’ Shame, Jonah must be ravenous.
I throw together a quick veggie & Quorn bake and we eat in front of the fireplace.
Sated, Jonah lies back on the couch and rubs his tummy. ‘I never knew you could cook Lilia; it is a joy. Well done.’
‘Now you sound like a proper English gentleman. I just make the basic stuff, no cordon bleu or anything fancy. Pizza, sandwiches, soup, fondue and meatless stew, that is my repertoire.’
‘That’s enough for me. I have had my fill of restaurant food.’
‘Have you had your fill of me yet?’
‘Not really, but tell me about your repertoire again please?’
‘How about I show you rather.’
‘Sounds good...no make that feels good’ he murmurs softly as I stroke him through his jeans.
‘May I?’ I ask as I take his belt off and unzip him. I slowly unbutton his shirt and pull it back over his lovely broad shoulders.
‘You must always wear ‘winter’ colours, it looks good on you.’
‘What the hell are ‘winter’ colours’?
‘It is black, dark greens, dark blues, dark browns, that kind of stuff. Maybe dark purple if you feel brave. Very dramatic. Suits your colouring to a tee.’
‘You must always wear as little as possible when you are with me, suits me to a tee’ and he pulls my jersey over my head.
‘Oh these boobs; I want to drown in them.’
‘I have the perfect solution. Can you count to sixty-nine Professor Hibbert?’
He immediately swivels me around like a spinning top and shows me that he can, count to sixty-nine that is. Or ninety-six. Whatever, it feels really good.
When we reach the absolute limit of our endurance, he swivels me back around.
‘I want to look at you when you come. I love that.’
‘My face most probably scrunches up, oh yes I love it when you do that Jonaahh...’
‘That’s why I love it, you get this blissful expression in your eyes. And your mouth opens and closes like a little guppy fish. It is so cute.’
‘Last person to call me cute is still smarting from the blow. Do you know what that is supposed to mean?’
‘Yeah, ugly but f*ckable, but in your case, cute means cute. To quote Webster’s: adorable, charming, appealing, endearing and at this moment, ecstatic’ he adds as I scream out his name.
He cheated, talked to me to distract me and did all sorts of delicious things to me while I was not concentrating. What a nice way to be cheated on.
I clamp my muscles and make him scream this time. ‘Oh my word Lilia, what are you doing, don’t stop! Oh ... Oh...’ I actually feel him spurt like a jet inside me. 'I guess someone forgot the condoms again.'
We slump back down on the rug and lie entangled until we start freezing our behinds off.
‘Let’s go to bed Jonah, I’m frozen to you!’
‘That’s not necessarily a bad thing but a bath would be good right now, is your bath big enough for us?’
‘Never tried before, but let’s.’
‘I’m sorry to disturb you kitties, but we need to get up.’ My cats are all sleeping on and around us. It is getting cold again and they love body heat, that is why I never sleep with pyjamas on. I have always felt that their warm bodies and my hot water bottle were enough. And my internal summer, which started since I became menopausal five years ago. I don’t easily get cold.
I am going to have to get used to sleeping with Jonah now. But I don’t mind that. I would rather be uncomfortable than without him ever again.
We both get into the bath, and immediately decide that our new home will have to have a Jacuzzi. ‘You are way too big for a normal bath my man. I can’t even play games with you in here, there is no space. And I have to half sit on you. Poor you.’
‘How unfortunate, a Jacuzzi it will be then, in every bathroom. Remind me when we look at houses.’
‘I will, and at least two bathrooms – and separate toilets, this British fascination with many rooms and one bathroom only, drives me mad. I also want to live far away from people, I hate noise.’
‘Yeah I know. And I agree. Let’s get out I’m cold. I want to snuggle up with you and have a good night’s sleep. You tire me out.’ Jonah does sound bushed.
A short while later after we scratched like chickens to find a comfortable sleeping arrangement, we settle down spooned together, and drift off to sleep. With this big guy behind me, I will never fear anything. I am glad he’s got my back. And butt. And boobs. Bliss. The cats waited patiently for us to settle and then made themselves comfortable on their favourite spots. Willow as always on my pillow. We go to sleep as usual, him purring in my ear, Flower in the crook of my legs and Rainbow on my hip.
I am content. I kiss Jonah’s arm which is lying across my shoulder but he doesn’t notice. He is already in dreamland.
Life is good.
The next day Jonah insists that we go and purchase a fire arm.
‘You need to be able to defend yourself Lilia, you are not physically strong like me. And you can't run very fast either, your boobs will bounce too much.’
‘I have no problem with that Jonah, bring it on. I had a revolver while living in South Africa but never used it and sold it when I left. The only thing I want, is to go to the shooting range for lessons. I'm a bit rusty.’
‘That is a given, I would not want your skeng to be used against you so you must be comfortable with it, and it must not be a sissy gun. It must be able to stop an attacker in his tracks.’
'My what?'
'Oh sorry' he laughs. 'We call a gun a skeng or a bucky in Jamaica.'
'You are interesting people.'
We purchase a Rossi .38, same as what I had before and I familiarise myself with it very quickly. I love feeling strong and confident, yet I am in awe of how much damage a weapon like this can do in the hands of an irresponsible person. It is a huge responsibility and I suddenly feel that gun laws should be stricter.
With Jonah by my side I feel no need to have it though. He makes me feel so safe.
8
Arumvale: population 3067 – until recently. Now, 3067 plus one. The most important one of all, my Jonah. It is a cool and cloudy day here today. I left Jonah behind in our small rented cottage to organise the finalisation of his business back home and I am at work at the Castle. Just over three quarters of the work has been done and I am very proud of it. I absolutely love the sunken courtyard we have just completed and can't wait to show Jonah. He is not pressed to find work any time soon as he is ‘independently wealthy’ after the great offer was made for his Estate.
Poor me, the work horse, still has a few weeks to go. Then I am starting with my book on slavery. Lots to do.
‘Top of the morning to you Lilia’ Sir James greets me pleasantly. ‘How is your holiday-in-the-sun man? I have not seen the two of you for a while as I have been a tad under the weather. Old age you know.’
'Good morning Sir James, Jonah is doing well thanks. He is just looking forward to seeing more of me after my job here is completed. He gets a bit lonely with only the cats for company.'
We share a companionable laugh and he sits
down. As I take a second breath to tell him about us looking for a piece of land out of town he suddenly becomes serious.
