BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  Chapter 184

  "Okay, I'm listening." Shawn took a seat and watched his brother start to nod his head, tapping his foot, his right hand setting up a rhythm tapping his thigh, he had his eyes closed getting the tune together in his head, he said reminding him, "Okay, remember—I'm just working on it… but—it goes something like this…

  First time I saw her — she was in a sexy red dress...

  Shim-my and shakin'—Lord—she caused me some stress...

  No I didn't know her - didn't ev-en kno-o-ow her name...

  But I felt the heat - the heat from her burnin' flame

  She blew - my - mind to - swee-e-et oblivio-o-on

  I lost—big time to that - Black Vivia-a-an

  Lord ple-e-ease, she is on my mind

  Vi -vi - a-a-a-an,

  mama-said-son—she is—one of a kind!

  And my mama was right—'cause ain't no way I can fight this

  Vivian

  Shawn stood with his mouth open then he closed it, chuckled a bit, gave a stunned laugh and then the expression on his face cleared.

  "Jake…I like that."

  "You like it? Really?"

  "I…I don't know what to say. But it's really catchy! How's it go? Vi-vi-aaan."

  "No, no, no, no, leave the singing to me, Shawn."

  Shawn cracked up, "Asshole, I sing to Sylvia all the time."

  "Good for you, keep it that way. It goes like this, rolling out the latter part of her name, Vi-vi-a-a-a-an." He repeated it again, giving a sample of his strong voice.

  "Wow…got any more?"

  "Here, I'm working on it. I have the second verse almost done. You like the chorus?"

  Shawn laughed, "It's perfect!"

  "I stop here and there when a line comes to me, jot it down. See, this is what I have so far." Jake stood next to his brother, laying the sheets on his desk. Showing him the various verses, singing through them and then, right there, fixed something that he'd been stuck on with another verse, he laughed, happy, corrected it. Shawn turned to his computer, pulled up Word and had him read out what he'd sang and typed it in. Jake gave him some other lines and by the time he and Shawn were done, he had all the lines on the computer.

  "Jake, I got a feeling about these lyrics man. When it's done, we'll send it in and copyright it."

  "So, you really think its that good?"

  "Oh, yeah I do, as country-rock, for certain! Got any other songs?"

  "Yeah, I do. I have another song, fully written, kind of a nonsense throwaway."

  "Get it, I'll put it with this one when it's done and you keep writing them. But—finish this one—for sure. I like it."

  "Thing is, I have to get the nerve to sing it. I've been thinking about maybe doing some singing. But I always dismissed it, know what I mean?"

  "Why?"

  "Because, Shawn, what have I really ever succeeded at? I mean, you're successful at what you do. Derrick is a fantastic coach. Me—well—"

  "Stop right there. You can do this, Jake. You—can do this. I'm telling you, the chorus was really catchy. Even her name as the title, fits it perfect. It works!"

  Jake turned leaning on the desk, his mind on it, he looked down at Shawn, "I love her so much. I gotta do something, Shawn. I can't embarrass her. She turned her back on a doctor for me. A doctor! What am I? Shit! That's what I am. That's why…I gotta make some money."

  "You know what—you piss me off! You are full of so much potential, Jake! For instance, you sat your ass here and referred your guys from work to help me build our new home, because they're starting a business! When that should have been you! You have everything needed to do what he's going to do and then some! Except initiative! I should have been paying you—instead I'm paying them! How screwed up is that? Now you're here, asking me for advice on some quick money—what the hell—do I look like a goddamn money magician? You need to start thinking ahead—planning!"

  "Shawn, I don't need you brow-beatin' me, man! I know it! Don't you think I know it? How the fuck do you think I feel, knowing what I have upstairs and I don't have a pot to piss in to offer her! You think I wanna be where I am right now? I'd give anything to do it all over again, man! I never thought—I'd ever—meet someone like her! Love someone—like I love her! Man, I don't need you comin' down on me! Believe me—I do it enough to myself! I need you Shawn—right now—to help me! I don't want you to give me—anything! I'll earn it! But I can't make her wait until I get my shit together! I gotta put a ring on her finger, Shawn. Not just any kind of ring, I gotta put a ring on her finger—that tells her, what I feel! That tells people who look at it, what I feel! That's why I need you. That's why I need money."

  "Calm down, take a seat."

  Jake grabbed one of the other chairs, pulled it over and sat in it. Leaning forward he palmed his face, his head full of music suddenly; with Vivian as the central inspiration to it all. Yet, that was just a silly daydream. Nothing may ever come of what he dreamed about, his grandest fantasy. He was after all, 39 years old, and it could very well be too late to go anywhere with it.

  "Okay, lil'brother, let's lay it on the table, got my pen and tablet—where are you money wise?"

  "Broke!"

  "Let's not worry about that right now, give me a list of what you owe, what you need, and then—what you'd like to go for. I'll see what I can come up with to help you create the means for it all. Start from the top."

  "Okay, I owe you for the truck. I owe my son, Benjamin, for a gift I wanted for Vivian."

  "How much?" Shawn asked after writing down what they agreed on for the truck.

  Jake looked up, exhibiting a nervous gesture of nibbling at the cuticles of his thumb. "Well, come on, spill it." Shawn coaxed. He took a deep breath, and said, "Okay…um, it came close to ah, 'bout…'close as it gets to—$2000 dollars."

  "What? What'd you buy her?"

  "Shit, Shawn, she's special, man. And well, I saw this piece of furniture, antique, really nice, a woman's vanity—you know how they are. It was so her, I had to do it. Didn't have no credit cards, or the cash…Benjamin was with me and he volunteered his card."

  "When was this?"

  "A bit ago. Before I came to my senses, realizing…I can't live without having her. I know I'm not much for her, but—"

  "You gotta stop doing that!" Shawn cut him off writing down the total. "There's nothing wrong with you, but what you've made wrong with yourself. The same way you made it wrong, you can make it right. So from this day forward, no more talking like that. What's next?"

  Jake sat with a lump in his throat and moist eyes. He looked to the floor, trying to get his emotions under control. He couldn't help but say it, "This is nice, huh, Shawn?" A tear slipped from his eye; he hadn't meant for it to, but he was suddenly overwhelmed with sensations of wanting something new, better. Was it because of her? He wasn't sure. But his blessing was his brother. He loved Shawn, always had, and now—they were beyond all the mess that kept them apart, he was a grown man, but moved within. He swiped the tear away.

  Shawn stared at him and realized despite all the crap from their past, all the stuff his little brother had done to him, he really did love him. "Yeah, this is nice."

  "I knew I could depend on you, Shawn, I just knew it."

  "Well, I'm telling you now, from this day forward—I wanna see you produce what I know you can. Bullshit time is up! Don't screw this up!"

  "I know, Shawn, I know."

  "Okay, well give me the rest." Jake told him what other things were happening and what they were up against, with Vivian living in Chicago and him there. He told him how Vivian wanted him to go back to school, earn a degree in something.

  "But I don't have time for that, Shawn, I mean, I'm too old."

  "Bullshit, Jake. You're not too old! And you're gonna have to make time. I'm on her side!" Shawn turned to the tablet and wrote, mumbling low, but Jake could hear him, "School—costs—where?"

  "Shawn—come on, man—I need to make some money—now!"
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  "You can go part-time."

  "I have bills as you see. She has bills. I get this feeling, she's got it in her head that she's going to support me while I go to school! No way! I'm just waiting for her to bring it up; there's no way in hell, I'm letting her support me. She can forget that!"

  "Don't start setting up obstacles, Jake."

  "Can we move on please?"

  Shawn nodded and more was written and discussed. At the conclusion of it, Shawn clicked his ballpoint pen and sat back looking at the list. "You, little brother, are deep in the shit."

  "I guess that's why dad always had me go in the hole after it with plumbing—calling me 'the shit-shifter'." Jake grinned, Shawn shook his head laughing, because it was true. When it came to plumbing problems, back ups and downright nasty jobs, their dad had called Jake, because he was the only one who's stomach didn't do somersaults if it came to having to pan out or clean out any human waste. Jake went in like it was nothing more than floating daisies. They began reminiscing about it, laughing over funny—but disgusting events from their past.

  "Anyway, let's wrap this up, I need to talk to Shanna. When are you looking, concerning the ring?"

  "Yesterday."

  Shawn sighed. "When are you taking her home?"

  "Paul's high school graduation is Wednesday, I'm gonna see if I can get her to stay here until then. She's supposed to be going with me. I know she has work off Monday, but…I haven't really asked her about those two days."

  "I see. If you can get her to stay until Wednesday, we'll go looking tomorrow. First thing in the morning. By the way, when do you start back to work?"

  "After next week."

  "All right, Jake, leave this with me. I'll see what I can come up with."

  "Thanks, Shawn."

  "Finish that song!"

  "Believe me, it's all in my head, I just have to put it in order."

  "Can't wait to hear it." Shawn encouraged. They could hear Vivian and Shanna in the basement, looking for food by the sounds of it. When they walked out of Shawn's office, Shawn was still carrying around a plate of uneaten food that he'd only been able to nibble from. Now the four sat at the table laughing and talking, enjoying food that was even better the second time around. Having her fill, Vivian stood and started cleaning up after everyone, asking Jake, "Can we go by your parents? I still have my two cases there with a lot of my things. Plus, I just wanna…visit with them a bit. That okay?" She asked at the sink, wiping the counter and putting the food away.

  "Ready when you are, lil'girl." Jake stood picking up his plate, walking over to stand behind her, his hand at her waist, leaning down he kissed her temple. "Love you." He whispered, Vivian felt warm all over, looking up she reciprocated, "Love you back."

  Shawn was shaking his head and taking a deep breath, glanced at Shanna. "We need to talk."

  Nervous, Shanna nodded in agreement. Shawn gestured towards the stairs.

  In the living room, they sat on the sofa together, Shawn trying to collect his thoughts, "Shanna, I don't need to tell you, how serious things are getting, do I?"

  "No."

  "Didn't think so. Shanna..." Shawn sat back on the sofa, looked over at his little sister, grabbed her hand, squeezing it, "...you trust me, don't you?"

  "Of course I do, Shawn."

  "Good, because—you cannot live your life this way. Terrified of being found. This situation needs to be…remedied—"

  "Shawn, please—I don't know what to do…and I don't want you—"

  Shawn put his finger to his mouth, the gesture silenced her. "I want his full name. I want his vehicle and plates. I want his address. I wanna know where he works. And I want you to give it to me."

  Shanna looked away from him, her adrenaline speeding up so that she felt hot all over with her fears.

  "Shanna—no more hemming and hawing. No more hesitation. This world we live in, Shanna—is not a perfect world. And as much as we believe in, living and let live—that is not everyone's agenda. There comes a time, Shanna…when you must—actively seek to preserve your own existence. Especially in the case of full knowledge that your very own existence is under threat. This is not a game. There is no waiting and hoping that—he's going to get the message, sign the papers and be on his way. Shanna..."

  "I know Shawn." She ached from his words.

  "Even with you living across the road, he could get to you, Shanna. He tried to last night. We both know that. Were his intentions even halfway right or decent, he would have come to the front door and asked for you - in broad daylight. No…he was sneaking around. He wanted to find you quietly… why, Shanna?"

  Shanna covered her face, fighting back the horror of what could have happened had Mundo not seen him. Had Shawn not responded so quickly. She was frightened of everything. Of what her brother wanted from her, and what would possibly happen to her if she didn't give it to him. What would possibly happen to him if she did. She leaned forward, ripped within over having to make such an agonizing decision. With her arms crossed over her stomach, she rocked with anxiety-driven nausea, as if she would throw up.

  "Take a deep breath, come on, it's gonna be okay." Shawn spoke softly, pulling her to him, his arms around her, holding her. He kissed her brow, "Shanna—I can't just leave it. I can't just—wait for the police, Shanna. If—I do, my little sister—you're gonna end up dead. No other way of saying it, Shanna, he's gonna kill you—if you don't give me what I need."

  She couldn't fight back her weeping any longer, it came forced with her struggle to hold it back.

  "Give me what I'm asking for, Shanna."

  "Shawn—Shawn, I'm scared…I'm so scared."

  "I know…but—this is not your fault, Shanna."

  "It is!" She cried out. "If I had listened to daddy—"

  "Shanna—every man, whether it kills him inside or not—has to live with a final decision. If his actions bring about a break in the relationship— or, if her actions are the cause of the break—either way, he must accept it and try to move on. No one, should be subjected to a life sentence for believing in someone that was not what you believed them to be. You can't go on like this, Shanna. And I can't be with you every second. And—I cannot have him—sneaking around—not here. Shanna, you belong here—he does not. My wife is carrying my child. Our children live here. This is our home. This is your home. He will not be allowed—to jeopardize—our sanctuary—I won't give him that, Shanna, I won't. Now, give me what I'm asking for."

  "What are you gonna do? Shawn…please, Shawn—don't go looking for him."

  "I can't guard you twenty-four-seven, Shanna. I can't have you torn up inside, scared to death. I can't have my wife in danger. Our children in danger, Shanna."

  "I should go then."

  "Shanna, don't make me lose patience with you!"

  "Shawn—what if he does something to you?"

  Shawn grabbed her by her upper arms, turning her to him, he leaned in close to look right into her eyes, "Give me—what I ask—now."

  With no means of a way out, Shanna nodded.

  "Good girl. Now, tomorrow—if we get through tonight without event, first thing in the morning, you and I—possibly Jake, we're going into La Crosse to do a little shopping. You need to install an alarm on your home, and you need some type of protection, Shanna. As for him, I want you to let it go. I get a feeling, I won't have to go looking for him. He knows you're here…if I'm right, he's going to try and get to you and soon, tonight—if not by tomorrow. You're gonna have to trust me, Shanna, and you're going to have to - let - go. Let go of all the nonsense that makes you feel responsible for him, or for what he might do. You remember this, whatever might happen, he came looking for it. He - came looking for it. You remember that."

  As they were sitting there, Kathy Ann pulled up in her El Camino. They both turned looking out the window as she pulled up. Shawn turned back, his gut did a twist at seeing her there. He knew she came for the refrigerator. He stood from the sofa, Shanna behind him, and called Jak
e from the basement. "Come on, man, help me load this refrigerator up for Kathy Ann before you two take off."

  The two of them walked outside. She was stepping out of her vehicle, when her brothers came out of the house, Jake walked up asking if she had straps to hold it down and Shawn walked past her without looking her way. She stood a moment, realizing that he hadn't even looked at her. Which was not like him. No matter how they fought and carried on, he still spoke to her. He would still attempt to be peaceable with her, no matter what she said or did to him. She thought it a bit strange that he walked by, and didn't even look at her.

  "What's wrong with Shawn?"

  "Got a lot on his mind, Kathy Ann, didn't you bring anything to tie the fridge down?"

  "Can't you guys just lay it on its side?"

  "We can, but once you get it home, don't plug it in until its sat upright a few hours."

  "Okay. Dad had me bring this for Shawn." She showed Jake a small box, he took it and opened it.

  "What does he need these for?" He asked, it was his dad's night vision goggles. He'd had a pair as well, but they'd been destroyed in the fire when his home had been burned down. They used them when they went out deer hunting. Once they got into position at 3 to 4 in the morning, they would put the viewer on their heads; it allowed them clear and far-reaching view of anything that moved, no matter how dark it was. Reason they always got their buck. It would creep through the woods, thinking that it was protected under cover of night, only to be picked off by one of them laying and waiting for it.

  "Don't know, dad said to bring'em, there they are."

  Jake stood a moment looking into the box, his mind working, with dread he knew why Shawn wanted them. He closed it up. "Okay, take it in the house, we'll get that fridge loaded."

  She took the box from him and walked to the garage, going to the house. Jake sat in her vehicle and backed it up to Shawn's house so they could bring the fridge out and load it on. Kathy Ann entered the house, taking the box to Shawn's office, laying it on his desk, coming out she spoke with Vivian and Shanna. They told her about what was going on. Told her that Mundo had seen Shanna's ex last night, at the convenience store and then at her home at 2 in the morning. Shanna was upset again, telling Kathy Ann that Shawn asked for all of John's information.