BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  After 30 minutes, she had the forms and the booklet that explained the process of divorce.

  It explained in detail what one had to do to get the ball rolling, and also went into case scenarios that would cause delays. She read through it, making a list of what all was needed to be filled in and submitted to the courts. She learned that the quickest divorces were ones where there was no contesting, no property to split, and if so, both parties needed to amicably come to an agreement in order not to hold up the process. That was pretty much already a done deal; what was in storage was hers, in that, there would be no hitch. Second thing that might cause a hitch, if they had children. There was a matter of custody.

  Sitting at the long table in the middle of the aisle of books, Crystal leaned with her forehead on her hand, she looked at the booklet, read what it said again, looked at the form, and wanted to crumble into tears. She didn't want it to be a dragged-out, exhausting affair. She just wanted to set him free. Maybe by doing that, she could let go. Again Mariah Carey's song played in her head. She had only played it all evening, through the night, and in the car that morning, over and over again. Can't let go. She was sick of holding on, she was ready to try and let go. She just wanted to do it and it would be done, and he could move on to his precious Jeanine, his mother's choice for him. Crystal couldn't stand it anymore, she needed closure, no matter how painful the closure would be. She sniffed, wiped at her running tears and could not deny that there was a little spark of hope that made her chest hurt; that little spark was that maybe, just maybe, when Victor received the papers to sign, he would realize that everything they'd discussed and dreamed of was on the verge of a complete loss.

  Using her thumb, she once again cleared her tears. Resigning herself to the deed, Crystal laid the papers flat and began filling them out. Carefully reading over each step to avoid error. The problem she ran into, was listing their children. If she didn't list them, how would the courts know of them? She would have to make an agreement with Victor concerning the boys. But listing them, and according to the booklet, any child under 16 years of age would have to be awarded custody to one parent full-time and the other part-time. They had to be all brought before a judge, and it also required the involvement of social services and family planning. Which would prolong the process. Crystal couldn't bear it. Her guts were tied up in knots as it was. To be forced to endure all the red tape involved surrounding her sons was more than she could deal with. Crystal filled in the forms claiming no children.

  She stopped, nibbling on her thumbnail thinking about it, and wondered how would that work? Surely, once Victor got his forms and looked them over, he would notice that she was trying to put the divorce through without custody being established and settled in court by the judge. He would fight it. She knew he would, and that—would prolong the entire ordeal.

  She was back to holding her head again, thinking back to when she first lost her virginity to him, to when she knew she was pregnant by him.

  Chapter 188

  Back Then—Falling in Love...

  They'd been immediately attracted to one another.

  The first encounter had been when Sylvia and Mundo had brought her to La Crosse so she could sign into her dorm room. Her mother had spent a large sum of money on her, after some financial juggling. Money that she'd borrowed from the rent, other bills—and Sheila and Dennis, just to make sure she was okay, had enough food in her dorm room and personal "girl" needs. Sylvia had been stressed and crying, hesitating to leave her. Mundo was standing next to her, just as emotional. The day they'd driven her up, her father had supposedly been "working" and couldn't come with. When they were loading up the car before departing Chicago, his goodbye had been, "You'll be back home in no time. Goddamn waste of money, you need to just take your ass to work. Ain't gone do nothing but fuck off time any goddamn way." He'd been on his way out. They all learned to just let him have his say, so he could leave.

  He left for "work"—they left for La Crosse. He hadn't known about the money Sylvia would be spending on her, if he had, there might have been a fight; even though they fought a lot less of late. He didn't pick on her mother so much anymore, and so, her mother not caring about what he might say, spent a great deal on her.

  When all the shopping for food and things had been done and brought back to her dorm room, unpacked and stored away, there was nothing else to be done, but leave. She'd walked with her mom and Mundo back out to the long hallway, and down the stairs to the lobby where other parents were doing the same. Outside at the car, Sylvia held her, hugging her, crying her eyes out.

  "You sure, baby?"

  "Mama, I'm gonna be alright, don't cry." She held her, knowing how hard it was for her to let go. "Are you gonna be alright? What's he gonna do when he finds out how much money you've spent on me?" She'd asked. Her mother hadn't answered that, didn't care, her only reply had been, "You need anything…if for whatever reason, it doesn't work, just call me. I'll come and get you, you understand?" Sylvia assured.

  "I'll be okay, mama."

  "Crystal, don't be out late. Don't trust anyone, smiling in your face. Don't let boys in your dorm room. Don't get into a car with a bunch of kids, all drinking and doing drugs. Focus on school! Think before you act, and don't let everyone know you've got food in your room, because they might steal it off of you."

  "I don't think so, mama, I think it will be okay."

  "Girl, you better listen to me! These kids gonna get hungry, because they'll be boozing all their money away. And that food in your room will be taken if they know it's there. I may not have lived in a college dorm, but I know people, and I'm telling you, keep that food tucked away and your room locked!"

  "Yes, mama, be careful driving back."

  "I will...I love you, so much…you make me so proud of you. I know you're gonna do the right thing, and you're going to graduate. Just ignore your father."

  "I always have, ain't gonna be no different now."

  Sylvia had sighed, hugged her again, and moved over so Mundo could say his goodbyes. "Ain't no worries, sis, soon as I finish, I be up here wit'cha!"

  "You better be! I'm gonna miss you." She'd hugged him.

  "I'mo miss you, too…you be ah'ight though."

  After fifteen more minutes, her mother struggling to leave, she finally stood watching them pull away from the curb and drive down the street and turn off to head back to Chicago. Crystal had stood and stared a few moments more, wiped at her eyes and turned to enter the dorms only to see him standing with a few other guys by the door. He was staring at her. He'd had long blond hair to his shoulders, the palest blond she'd ever seen. His parents had just left after following him back. It would be his third year, and her first. She'd been wearing blue jeans, All Star gym shoes, a sweat shirt and her hair piled on top of her head in a loose bun, strands hanging down her neck, along her temples. Barely any make up, just peach lip gloss.

  He never broke eye contact.

  To have a white boy stare at her so intensely, her first day of school, was unnerving. Not sure why he did it, she glanced away and hurried into the dorm, up the three flights of stairs and to her room. She closed herself inside, and then burst into tears, missing her mother, already. She'd lain on the bed and fallen asleep, taking a nap. When she woke, she spent time arranging her room, and setting up her TV. Outside, she could look down from her window, the students were all out partying, drinking, cars driving back and forth from one place to another, arranging parties and loudly discussing where who was going to meet who. She stood looking down at them, most of them white. Every nine or ten white guys, she'd see a black guy. Or, when she saw someone black, it was a group of them. Most often, all black guys together. Then she caught sight of a few black girls here and there. White girls with black boyfriends or lovers. She'd do some of her room, putting up her posters, and then go and look again at the activities of the evening. La Crosse was predominantly a college town. Consisting of colleges, apartments and dorms, and bars galore. A
small city filled to the brim with young adults trying to live in the fast lane while gaining higher learning; which would either bring them success, if they succeeded and finished school, or bring them woes, from too much partying and not enough studying. The guys, depending on the way they were, would find themselves in one of the many categories; their freshmen and sophomore years, into too much drinking, too many parties, in jail often, beat up and robbed, or found floating in the river. Guilty of date rape, and many impregnating the girls attending, who would end up getting abortions, or dropping out due to having a baby to support. Or, signing up for single-parent benefits in order to finish school.

  Crystal stood watching, and saw two fights break out her first night there. One between two girls over a guy, and another one between two guys. He was one of them.

  She'd stood in her window watching as he walked back with three other guys, it was late at night, they'd been down to the bar strip, and were making a good racket on their return. He was arguing with one of the guys he was hanging with. In a blink of an eye, they were in a fight. She'd gasped with her heart pounding and opened the window to look out, her eyes automatically picking him out with his obvious fair coloring and almost white blond hair. She hadn't a clue of what they were fighting about, both had been drinking. The other guys with them were trying to break them up. The police sirens could be heard in the distance. No doubt one of the nearby residents was fed up with the noise and had called them. With the sound of the sirens, they had quickly broken up and scattered, each to his own direction.

  She'd pulled back into her window and closed it.

  The next day, she found that she had a roommate. A black girl named, Rochelle. They'd hit it off right away. Rochelle found that Crystal was too serious, too cosseted, she needed to get out and explore this world of newfound freedom. Within three weeks of being away at college, Crystal found that she'd broken one of her mama's commandments already; not to be in a car full of kids, drinking and doing drugs. Not just a car full, but sitting-on-each-other's-laps full. Five in the back seat, meant to hold only three, four in the front seat, meant to hold only three. It was an old blue, rusty, 1988 Chevrolet Impala belonging to Rochelle. Rochelle bought it off someone for $150…it didn't have any heat and you could smell the radiator fluid through the dash. She had to carry gallons of water in the trunk and fill the radiator every time she got in it to drive it somewhere. Two of the tires were bald, the rear view mirror dangled from the windshield, that she always grabbed and held in place to check her rear view then let it go, for it to swing back and forth - when they were on the move. Every time they'd go somewhere in it, Crystal anticipated its snapping free...never did. The back passenger door behind the driver's side had to be slammed closed from the outside, or else it wouldn't shut properly, and you could see the rear light connections through the rust holes in the back. Yet, the stereo system in that vehicle was slamming. Speaker in the trunk with a JVC car stereo CD player system that was rumored to be stolen, however Rochelle swore she paid good money for it off a guy who said it was all that was left of his Cadillac that he'd totaled, and he just couldn't leave it in, so sold it to her.

  Sitting on a girl called Kayla's lap, they headed down for the bar strip. In the third bar they visited, Crystal saw him again. She didn't know how it happened, or why, but he seemed to know that she was in the room, within moments of being there, he turned and looked directly at her. Again, he stared. One of the girls she was with, Omiyah, whispered to her, "He is so freakin' hot! I'd do him in a minute."

  Crystal had looked away from him to Omiyah. "Who is he?"

  "Victor. And let me tell you, he is one, sweet—ass—white boy! And before school is over this year, I'm doing him at least once!" Omiyah declared. She was mixed, a black father and white mother. Silky tight curls that she wore free, her hair looked like a curl done with medium rods, but it was all natural. She and Crystal were similar in complexion, but Omiyah was the lighter skinned one, who had facial bone structure like her mother, a tad bit too sunken-looking with her father's very large, full lips. She wasn't a raging beauty, nor was she unattractive, just very unique—a bit odd in her looks.

  "Who is he looking at?" Crystal asked, trying not to look back at him.

  "Me. He wants me, too, I know it…I'm just trying to wait until the time is right."

  Crystal doubted that, but kept it to herself. She was thoroughly broken in to college life. She'd gotten high, really high, three times. Each time, she saw her mama's face, but what mama didn't know, wouldn't hurt her. She'd hit two basement parties, three house parties, and had been in every bar on the strip in La Crosse. Over the next few months, she'd seen him on a regular basis, but they'd never once spoken to each other. They'd only acknowledged one another from afar. Besides, Omiyah had gotten her wish. She'd come back to Crystal and Rochelle's dorm room talking about him. Knocking on their door at 1:30 in the morning, carrying a box of Buffalo wings to eat, because she had the munchies. Omiyah planted herself on the floor with her back against their bunk, while Crystal and Rochelle laid in bed listening to her recount her quick affair with Victor.

  Passing them a Buffalo wing, she laughed, bragged and tooted her horn about him, "Girl, that white boy fucks like a locomotive! We got it on—on the floor, he fucked my ass across the room, up against the wall..." She sucked the meat off of her wing, and paused just long enough to raise one butt cheek, and fart, much to the amusement and disgust of the others, then continued smacking her lips as she ate her wing, eyes thin, pink slits, she swallowed and finished with, "...and finished me off on the goddamn…goddamn…window sill! We damn-near fell out the window!"

  "Girl yo' stanky ass, you got shit comin' out of both ends!" Rochelle was cracking up laughing, while Crystal lay with her face burning, nose wrinkled in distaste as she nibbled on her wing. "Girl, you nasty as hell! Ya'll asses shoulda fell out."

  "Shit, I come so hard, I damn near did! His ass don't play! Shit—I'mo do his ass again too! I like that shit. I like him, that's for damn sure!"

  A few weeks went by, and Omiyah stopped talking about him. Rochelle said he did what they typically do, screw you, and then say, "Screw you!" She had warned Crystal, "Don't be stupid like her, she done been to bed with half of'em anyway. Omiyah ain't nothin' but a nookie poster, wearing Uncle Sam clothes and saying, I Want You!"

  Crystal realized as time went by, that was more than likely true. One night, she joined her crew and went to a big house party in Onalaska. It was the house of the well-to-do, gone away and leaving the house to their teenagers, that was a no-no. She found out later it was Kayla's house. She was stunned to discover that Kayla wasn't even in college yet, she just hung with the college crowd and opened her home up, absent her parents, to party in.

  Again, he'd been there.

  This night, he seemed to follow her around, because everywhere she went in the big house, he was not far, and staring at her.

  "I don't know if you realize this or not, but you have been chosen." Kayla had been the one to inform her, a young white girl, too knowing for her age.

  "What are you talking about?" Crystal asked.

  "Victor...he's been eying you. Everybody knows he's after you."

  "Huh? I've never even talked to him, he's never talked to me."

  Kayla cleared her throat, looked over Crystal's head and signaled for her to turn around. Crystal did, and came face-to-face with Victor Prescott.

  "Hi...I'm Victor."

  Crystal had frozen. He was white, and stunning. Light, sky blue eyes, very fair skin. Incredible, silky, glistening blond hair. Tall, fit, with just enough flesh and muscle on him to make a girl go, "yum". Nice arms, nice long body, big legs. Crystal had never dated anyone. Her mother had never let her out of her sight long enough to do so. Because she had worked during the day when they were at school, and finished when they were out, there had been no space or time for curiosity with boys and playing outside to sneak off into things. Not with Sylvia Payne as her mother. They'd be
en guarded like a hawk. Anything and everything she and her younger brother did, was done with their mother's supervision. They had been her life, in complete. Crystal had never even kissed a boy before. Now, she stood with this amazing white boy, looking at her as if she were the answer to his prayers.

  "H-hi." She'd answered back, and her face burned.

  "You liking college so far?" He'd asked her.

  "Yeah...it's okay." She'd answered.

  "You having fun tonight?"

  "Yeah, uh, I guess."

  "What's your drink?" He asked. "I'll get you one."

  "Just...anything…is fine."

  He grinned, "Anything?"

  "Ummm, my friends always get me a drink."

  "I see...how about a cooler then?"

  "I like coolers, sure."

  "I'll get you one." He volunteered and turned to get it.

  Crystal turned around with her eyes wide enough to pop out of her head.

  "I told yo-o-ou! He—is—after you!"

  "I don't know why? Why me?"

  "Because you're hot! All the guys talk about you!"

  "Me? Why?"

  "Because you're fresh meat! No one has been there yet, so they're all curious!"

  "I see, so in other words, he's after me to be the "Victor"—well—I don't think so!"

  She went looking for Rochelle, found her in the yard rapping with a black guy that was there. "Can we leave? I'm really tired."

  "Oh, okay...yeah, we can go, no problem."

  They left, without her saying another word to him. In school, she saw him in the halls from one class to another and deliberately avoided looking at him. Two weeks went by, and another party. This one had been a dorm party. She'd been drinking, so had Rochelle. Crystal had bad vibes about what was going on. She heard that in one of the rooms, a bunch of students were stripped down naked and all having sex with one of them filming it. She wanted to leave. Rochelle was heavy into this black guy she was liking and this time, didn't want to go. Crystal decided to walk back to their dorm, and low and behold, her white knight swooped in, he'd been watching her again. When she walked outside, zipped up her jacket, he was there.