"Victor Prescott! I am talking to you! Pay attention to me!" She ordered when she turned to him, to see that he was holding his face, fingertips to his temples as if he had a headache. He sighed and sat up and looked at her.
"Thank you! As if it were not bad enough, you've left school! You do realize how completely unacceptable this is? I thank goodness that we came when we did, it won't take much to undo this whole matter. I'm sure we can get a divorce through—"
"Sorry—but this is where I have to stop you."
"Victor! You do not interrupt me. Here I am, having to deal with your situation, which I find very stressful—"
"There's nothing to stress about, mother. I married her. I'm staying married to her. Why? I'm in love with her."
"Love! Love? It's nothing more than lust! That's the better word! Carnal, wicked, sinful gratification! Nothing more than sick and twisted mud wrestling! You're simply caught up in the moment of this licentious, perverted, flesh fulfillment festival! It will wear off soon enough. In the meantime, we need to get you out of it now, before it's too late. The longer you wallow in this cesspool of an arrangement, the greater her hold will be on you, and your money. You want that money you're due when you turn 28? Hm? I guarantee you, you won't get a dime if she's still married to you! Now, it's only been a few months, shouldn't be too difficult to dissolve it."
"And my baby? How do we dissolve him, or her?"
"Don't be ridiculous—probably not even yours! However, if by some chance that it is, we'll cross that bridge later."
He'd heard enough. Victor stood without another word, he wasn't about to get into a verbal battle with his mother. It would be a total waste of his time anyway. Now he was gladder than ever that he hadn't brought Crystal with him; he started heading for the door. His father's eyes got wide. He spoke, saying, "Where are you going?" He sounded afraid.
"Home."
"VICTOR!" His mother raised her voice incredulous.
"I'm going home—to my wife. She's pregnant with my child, I'm the father - that, I know—that's where you'll find me."
"You walk out of that door, young man, you'll get no help or support from us! Your trust fund? Think about it! Eight years will fly by quicker than you think!"
"No worries, mother. I have a job. Whatever we have to do, we'll do. If you ever choose to meet my wife, get to know her, you'll know where to find us. Otherwise—goodbye."
"You think you'll find happiness with her? I know better! Fine...you'll be calling us in no time! I'm willing and ready to let you have your way, because in the end—when it's all said and done—you'll know I was right! You'll know—because she'll prove that I was right. And when you finally come to your senses, and come back home...you'll do as I say next time. You will not argue! So go! Go back to your wife! By the time she gets done with you, you'll be sorry you ever met her; and you'll never speak against me again! Let him out, Percival…I've had my say for now."
Back home...
"What did they say?"
"Not happy about it, that's all."
"Because I'm black?"
"Look—doesn't matter what she thinks. Doesn't matter what anyone thinks. All that matters is us. You, me—us three. Right?"
"Right."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Yet, life—bills—school—stress—pressures—came in on them. Knit-picking, "He say, she say" friends (Omiyah & Rochelle), they added to it. Arguments took place, with a touch of misunderstanding and lack of communication made for a hell of a time for them. Crystal took everything that came back as a direct mark against her, from something that she may have done personally, inadvertently or not, as if to say, she was lacking. Any failure, or problem—or correction from Victor, was like a punch to the stomach; it was like her father standing before her, telling her again, what she was. Fighting it with every fiber of her being, Crystal wanted, needed perfection, to Victor's misfortune. Too many times, he found himself shouting at her, trying to get her to slow down. Stop trying to do everything. Trying to get it through her head, that no one was perfect. The world was not perfect; this after one of her attacks on him, after her tearful apology. She wanted acceptance. She needed those words spoken by her father not to be true. She was humiliated that his mother considered her unworthy of her time—refusing to acknowledge her existence. Her own inability to accomplish all that she felt would finally prove her worth, caused her frustrations levels to rise so that, in too many instances, rage shot threw her and as if blinded by something she couldn't control, she attacked. Struck out. Slapped, punched and threw things at Victor...because he was this person she saw as perfect. Whatever he set out to do, it got done. His calm, even-keel approach to life, and doing one thing at a time, drove her crazy—because she felt that he looked at her mockingly. He seemed unfazed and uneffected by what other people might think. She couldn't be that way. She was riding the curse of being black, being a woman, married to a white man, in a world that whispered on the wind, you're nothing and nobody. Again, it was all in her head; compounded by her father's face to everything.
Anytime Victor tried to correct her, explain to her, tried to show her, she felt that he looked down on her, felt that he was too good for her. She thought that he saw her as a charity case, that he was the privileged and she should be proud that he stayed with her.
Victor stayed through it all, because he refused to believe that his mother was right. He thought he knew what Crystal's problem was, but as time went by, he realized that his hands were tied in how to fix it. He also stayed because there weren't all bad times. There were many good times. Loving times. Times when he could get her to relax, laugh—stop taking life and what she needed to prove in it, so seriously. When those times were there, when she finally laid down her burdens, they were in love. They made love, and they enjoyed her pregnancy and the wonders of joy they shared in that. Victor made it a point to be at every Lamaze class, up to the delivery.
Sylvia and Mundo had been there.
They had a special delivery suite for any family members to be present. One room where they could sit on a provided sofa and watch TV while in the connecting room, the mother to be went through labor. Victor stayed with her, never leaving her side. Sylvia there as well. Even in that, Crystal had to do it just so. Fought crying out, did her breathing, followed her Lamaze until at the last part, she couldn't hold it back and screamed out when the pain became unbearable. Victor was there to hold her, and there, then—she never once struck out at him, yelled at him, cursed him. She was in love and having his baby, there was no anger in her, she just wanted him near, and he was. After 20 hours of labor, 5 of which was hard—2 severe, she gave birth to Isaac.
Victor was over the moon, completely awed and amazed.
Sylvia was relieved and left them alone together, going into the other room with Mundo. There they sat, her with tears in her eyes, her son with his arms around her, joking about the fact that their little girl was growing up. Sylvia laughed, laid her head on her son's shoulder, sniffed, wiped her eyes as they sat talking about funny times of the past. Mundo eagerly awaited his turn to go in and see his sister's newborn son. When it came, camera ready, he stepped in to see Victor laying on the bed, proud; his arm around his wife and son, who was a duplication of him. Mundo took pictures galore. To his mother, to him, they were the perfect couple. In love, and there appeared to be, no problems—on top of the world. Mundo graduated from high school, like his sister, early—by the time he was sixteen. Immediately afterwards, he was ready to go, eager to live with them. When he came on the scene, she was pregnant again with Darren.
Victor thought by having her younger brother present and living with them, it would help Crystal to calm down. How wrong he had been. She then became Mundo's mother. Insisting that he do more, better, be the best. She took any negative action of his, as a reflection on her. They too began arguing. If Victor got in the middle, she went off on them both. Thus, he and Mundo became close. Daring to whisp
er behind her back, making eye contact when she was in one of her tirades. If nothing else, they became close companions and confidants. Something else Victor thought would help matters was when Sylvia informed them that she would be moving to Wisconsin to be closer to them. It seemed, that their father had come through after all, leaving behind an insurance policy from his job where she was, of course, the beneficiary. Finally, her day had come, she was free from working, would be close to them, and available for whenever they needed her, and she would be in a position to follow her dreams.
Again, Victor thought it was just what his wife needed; to have her mother close by.
Knowing that her mother could show up on her doorstep at any time, Crystal fought to control her irrational bursts of anger that lead to attacks; besides that, Victor was getting fed up. Twice, he'd threatened to leave. Crystal promised it wouldn't happen again. Mundo even threatened to tell their mother on her. Again, Crystal backed down.
Victor felt if she would just accept that she was only one person, one that had limitations, and that she couldn't do everything she wanted to do, that she was limited, she would relax, unwind—get that paranoid chip off of her shoulder that made her feel that she absolutely had to exceed in everything. He sometimes watched her as she carried on, she would not rest, she was working part-time, selling Mary Kay, going to school full-time, taking care of the house, taking care of the kids, on top of that, Mundo—and would not let dust settle anywhere around her. She was driven in a way he considered a madness. Each year of their marriage, she became more and more controlling, needing everything to be just so. As he looked at her, she—in some instances—reminded him of his mother. And just like his mother, nothing said to her, got through. With blinders on, she barreled forward and discarded all else. He was already having slight fears, that maybe—maybe—his mother might have been right; he positively hated the thought of that. One of the many reasons he had stayed.
Chapter 190
Back to present...
Crystal accepted what needed to be done. She remembered, and saw all the times when she should have backed off, and not been so obsessed with needing to prove herself. She couldn't explain what it was in her that could not see all that she had accomplished and be proud of that. At that moment, all that came to her, was that once again she had failed. She had failed in her marriage. The one and only man in her life that she truly loved, she'd driven away. She thought about Jeanine, picturing them together in her mind. The visual image had the same impact as seeing them together at the bar. The same impact as knowing that he slept with another woman. She felt there was no one to blame but herself. As badly as she wanted him back, she accepted that it was her actions that drove him away and into the arms of someone else. She needed to let him go and accept her losses.
Crystal finished filling out the paperwork.
It was almost time to go and get her boys. She left the library thinking about what to do to make this divorce happen and quickly. She considered calling Victor and talking to him, but she couldn't bear to speak with him, knowing they would be talking about divorce. If he made no effort to reject it, if the words, "I don't want a divorce" didn't come out of his mouth, words she so wanted to hear, it would hurt. She couldn't endure a conversation with him agreeing with her to end their marriage. With that in mind, finally she realized what she had to do. She pulled up in front of the day care. Her boys were outside playing, they saw her through the chain link fence, waved, laughed and carried on playing, wanting to jump on a few more of the slides and swings before she got them.
Crystal pulled out her mobile and dialed a number, taking several deep breaths.
"The Prescott's." Natalie answered.
Crystal blew out one last steadying breath and started, "It's me...Crystal. I need to talk to you."
Natalie held the phone to her ear, stunned, and then answered, "About what?"
"I've filed for divorce."
"You—what?"
"I filed for divorce. I'm on my way to the courthouse, to pay the fee to start proceedings. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. The quickest route, is to leave the boys off of the forms. Victor can see them anytime he wishes, I won't…" Crystal stopped to control her emotions, feeling choked up. "... I won't keep them from him. However, if he sees that I've filed without them on it, he may fight it. I need you to talk him into letting it go through as is, and—if you do—this will be the last you'll hear of me. And he can visit them, get them, any time he wishes."
Natalie couldn't believe what she was hearing, her heart took off as elation shot through her. "I think it's about time, that one of you came to your senses. I suppose I may have been wrong about you, you are intelligent after all." Natalie could afford to be generous now and saw no reason not to. "You're doing the right thing, after all—he will be happier for it—so will you. Darling, he was bound to come to you for it anyway...I mean, he and Jeanine, sorry to say this…but…well…they're practically living together now, anyway; I've never seen him so happy." She lied.
Crystal felt like someone had gutted her with a dull axe. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't talk—was trying to suck in her next breath.
"Crystal?"
She couldn't talk. Her eyes filled with tears, she couldn't see. All she could see was Victor and how he once loved her, how she once made him happy, and it was gone. "Crystal? You okay?"
She sat gripping the steering wheel, dizzy with agony. She heard Natalie's voice on her phone, calling her name, she stared at it and thought her body would explode from the pain, that she would burst into flames from the rush of heat all over. She fought back a wail of agony so strong, it was close to wish death over what she was feeling. "Crystal?" She heard again, forcing herself to breath from an aching chest and gutted stomach, she pushed out, "I'll…send the copies…" She was trying to talk and breath at the same time. "…just…make sure…he doesn't fight it. And…it'll be done." She clicked her phone off. Gripping the steering wheel, she stared at her boys. Her ears were ringing, her nose was running. She wiped it, and reached for napkins. After a few more minutes, she made herself move, wiped her face again, because she'd been sweating. Her boys, she had them. No one could take them away. Her precious boys. She went into the day care and picked them up. Talking to them as if they'd been gone forever. They were, her only perfection. They were her greatest treasure. Just as she and her brother, had always been her mother's greatest treasure. The one thing she knew how to do, was love her babies. Because her mother had loved, cherished, and protected them with all she had. That part of life, she knew…and all the rest…well, somehow, she would learn to accept and live with it…alone. She went to the county courts, filed her papers, paid the fee. Left there, taking her boys to McDonald's, and there, she declared to make them her world.
As for the rest…no men allowed.
* * *
Jake was outside talking to the crew as they drove up individually.
Shanna, Sylvia and Vivian were in the house, the one that Shawn vacated. Shanna had spent the better part of the morning, trying to talk Sylvia out of stopping the crew from wrecking the house. Shanna pleaded with her not to stop it, to let them go through with it. Knowing that her actions were over what she thought Shawn had done, and Shanna could not bear the thought of them splitting up, the thought of Sylvia separating from Shawn because of her, and John Sykes. As time crawled through the morning of the new day, Sylvia was more and more nervous about her husband coming home. About facing him with all that was haunting her.
She was back and forth, and afraid. Wondering, if their relationship and their marriage, was a mistake. For the first time, she gave in to serious doubts about him, about them, and hadn't a clue of seeing a way out. If, in fact, she had made another mistake in choosing a man to marry, what now?
Thus, because Shanna could see the struggle within her, it made her crazy with fear that because of her, her brother might once again, face loss. Vivian even tried to draw her out; but Sylvia
couldn't share with her what only she and Shanna knew, what even Jake knew, or rather, believed. Finally, she decided, that she had no choice in letting the crew continue on with the plans. This new home was Shawn's dream, he should have it. All things considered, however, she wasn't so sure she would be living in it with him. With that one issue resolved in her mind, she was able to smile at Shanna, saying, "It's okay, Shanna, things will go on as scheduled." Sylvia could see that those words, were like a stick pin to prick the pent up fear and stress tight within Shanna, releasing it so that her shoulders literally drooped from finally being able to relax. In order not to upset her any further, nor Vivian, Sylvia put on her bright smile and got on with her day, knowing that soon, at some point in it, her husband would be back home.
She stayed busy that day. She simply had to. She was back and forth from talking with Jake and the crew that was showing up one at a time, all in trucks, lining up along their property, bringing in heavy equipment. Jake was trying to get them set up, explaining what he knew his brother wanted, and then consulting Sylvia on matters of the change in priority she and Shawn discussed. She brought Jake down to Shawn's office, looking for the drawn up plans of the office structure she felt needed to be focused on first. After some rummaging around there, she finally located it. Following Jake back out with it, to bring before the main boss. They walked along the location where it was to be built, as she explained what would be needed along with the size rooms Shawn indicated in the blueprints. Reminding them that there needed to be a small parking area for clients, which would extend alongside the house and in front of the garage. After a few moments with them, leaving it to Jake to work that out with them, she went back to Vivian and Shanna so they could get the many boxes sorted, and all the things that would be going into the garage sale. Sylvia had to get on the phone and find out what it would cost to extend the rental on the tables to the following weekend. The cost wasn't worth it; she had Mundo running them all back. Hearing the dilemma, Jake went to work on constructing her something similar to what he'd built his mom. He'd built her racks on wheels, so that she had them every year to set out produce for sale on their property. Each measured 8ft. in width, 6ft. in height, with the top two shelves, 2ft deep, and the bottom two 3ft & 4ft deep. Each shelf folded up and away, along with the bottom frame base, up to the back frame, so that all three racks fit together and then locked to each other to roll away in storage. Each one also had hooks along the sides for hanging things from. He made a list of what it would cost to build her four of them, which would hold a great deal of what she had to sell on display. Sylvia gave him enough cash to get whatever he needed to build them, she could see that they would come in handy down the road, especially with Shawn's idea of them using one of the fields for growing produce. She could have kicked herself for the thought, considering that they might not even be together a year from now. The thought made her want to cry. Again, she dismissed it all for now. Jake took off to get that project for her underway, leaving the women to sort out what would be going out for selling and what needed to be thrown away. There was a lot. This was something she and Shanna had started weeks earlier, and now with Vivian's help, they would get things sorted, priced and labeled, once and for all. Once Jake built the racks, which he swore would be done that evening, they would find the spot to set them up and load the items on, and then cover them with tarp covers to roll into the garage for safe keeping.
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