BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  "AND DOES IT?!" He snapped. "Hm? Does it work, Sylvia? Does it? Answer that question for me?"

  She couldn't, she could only stare at him.

  "Sylvia…where was the law, when Ray stood in this room, waiting to attack you? Where was it?"

  She could only stare at him and finally, after a moment, a shrug.

  "I wanted to rip—his—head off—for daring—to put his hands on you." He bit out through clenched teeth.

  "Shawn…" Sylvia called his name softly, wanting to say something, but was stumped by it all.

  "What?" He asked softly.

  "You can't—be that way—Shawn…you can't."

  "I am—this way! More so now—than ever—because of you! You think I'd let anyone—hurt you? Our children? And my little sister, she's a part of me, too—think I'll let anyone, just—come in—and do what they will to her? To any of you? You think I would?" He smiled, a smile that was pure menacing, making Sylvia's hair stand on end. Shaking his head, he looked into her eyes. "No way. Any man, comes within these boundaries, to where I've made a home—for you—our children—from Crystal down to the one you carry—with thoughts of doing harm, to either of you—no such thoughts will fill his head again, before me. That is my vow. You want to know me, my wife? Know this, with your life, my children's life, the life of my family within these boundaries…I do not play. And neither will anyone else! I have—no regrets. When I close my eyes, I sleep in peace, because—you are safe. They are safe. Shanna, is safe. Knowing that—I can sleep. If either of you are under threat, then—I cannot sleep. I cannot rest. I will not rest…until the threat is no more. That my wife—you can bet on. Know that, if you know nothing else."

  Sylvia felt overwhelmed and out of breath, she had to know. "Did you—kill—Shanna's husband…Shawn?"

  "I will never tell you that; because it's something you don't need to know."

  "How can you stand there and say that? Oh, my God, I can't get my head around this!" Sylvia cried out, her hands going to her head. "I left Chicago to find peace and quiet! I relocated here to live—to live in—in serene—tranquility—Shawn! No violence—no—no drama! No—"

  "SYLVIA!" He bellowed her name, startling her, making her jump. "There is—no—such—place! It—does not—exist! Do you understand? This place—you seek to dwell in—is nowhere to be found! If it does, you will find it only—in the deepest recesses of your mind! Wake up—my wife! Wake up! You live on the same planet as I do! And it is filled, with people, who are willing—to eat—you—ALIVE! But God as my witness—not while I'm standing by! Not while I live and breathe!" He stood a moment trying to calm his breathing. Staring at her as she clung to the bathroom door gazing at him lost, confused, and yes…scared. He sent shivers through her, made her tremble.

  He'd lived one hell of a life in L.A. Had seen more than his fair share of what the real world was like. There were no blinders over his eyes. Because of Jesse, he understood much more than he had after leaving home. What his father had started in him, Jesse had finished—mission completed. Shawn had seen firsthand, what facts there were about this world. Facts about man—men—the white man in particular, thanks to Jesse. He'd been an avid listener to Malcolm X—before and after his pilgrimage. How many talks, discussions and theories had he sat through with Jesse? He had been a man with an incredible mind, trapped in a world that was determined not to make a place for the black man. Shawn had lived with him, and other black men. Had gotten to see things from their point of view. Heard what they discussed, saw the world through their eyes. Black men did not live in this world with blinders on, they saw it for what it really was. Living with them, he saw it as well. Had already gotten a confusing version of it beaten into him by his father, with all of his ranting about the Vietnam war—and the sheer evil ugliness of it. How they'd all been fooled. Taken for a ride. Sacrificed, so that the men at the top, the men in power, could earn and gain their wealth. The money brokers, and the real powers behind the thrones and administrations. Jesse had said these things, just as his father had ranted about them; the difference being, Jesse rationalized and made him understand—in the delivery—Jesse connected all the dots within his mind. Because of that, he knew there was no such place as the Utopia his wife desired. Now more than ever, he felt compelled to protect her; even at 38 years old, she was naïve.

  He wilted, no longer staunch and harsh, and went to approach her. She withdrew, her body tightening up and moving away. Shawn froze. He would have rather she slapped him. He stopped, exhaled. It hurt. To have her flinch, move back as if she feared him—which came at him with the force of being stuck with a dull knife. His eyes filled and the tears fell. He sniffed, wiped them away, and backed away, but could not take his eyes from her.

  "Okay. Okay…" He nodded, felt defeated. "You know what hurts?" He asked. She bit into her bottom lip, unable to answer, unable to move.

  "If…if I'd been wearing…camouflage—carrying an M16…trained in military weaponry, defense—to do battle. If…I'd boarded a plane, and been…flown out …to another man's country, set down, and let loose with hundreds, thousands of others like me…to—in the name of freedom—fight to…protect the borders and interest of this country's leaders. If I'd…invaded someone else's land, blew up their homes, killed their women, raped their daughters, blown their sons to bits…flamed them alive—in the name of freedom. Had I—dropped bombs—and mowed down many—and returned alive. Wearing military issued dress greens, I would be a hero. I would be wearing medals. And you—you would eagerly wait to catch sight of me, and you would run to me, and hold me to you…and maybe…maybe—never let me go. You would not ask me—what have I done? You would not desire to know the details. Because you would be so proud of me—I would be your hero." He stood and let the tears fall, because now, that was not the case.

  Sylvia felt more confused—now, more than ever. She couldn't breathe.

  "You know what the difference is, between me, Sylvia—and them? Soldiers? You know the difference in us?" He asked.

  She sniffed, and shook her head.

  "I can sleep at night. My conscience is not haunted by my deeds. There is no doubt about why I've done, whatever I've done. With me, there is no—collateral damage." He sighed, smiled, sniffed and wiped his face for the last time. He looked away and went to his Chester drawer. "I'll, uh, leave it at that." He opened it and began removing some of his things, saying, "If you don't mind, until things are done across the way, can I…still work in the office downstairs? If you don't mind?" He looked back at her for an answer.

  Sylvia couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, she simply nodded.

  "Thanks. I'll come back later, early tomorrow, get that door put in like you asked. Finish what I started here. Um, is it okay if Angela stays with you? I don't wanna be moving her around all over the place."

  "Shawn, please, you know she can…don't…I don't know what to do-o-o!"

  "Don't cry. Calm down. It'll be okay. I won't be far, I'll never be far…not from you. Please, just…if you would, no divorce? I don't want…a…divorce. I won't bother you, either…but…just—I know that's asking a lot. I just don't wanna think about that right now. Okay?"

  Sylvia couldn't move.

  "You'll have this, for the bed and breakfast, and the house across the road as well, for our children. That is yours—still. Hey, maybe I'll rent a room from you here or something, take the room over the garage when it's done?" He tried to lighten it up, joking, smiling, sniffing. He stared at her, the smile melted away. He turned back and made quick work of getting himself a few things. Since he would be back tomorrow, he would get more then.

  "I'll get a room at the Super 8 for now. I'll call later with my room number, so you know where I am—if you need me." He finished and went to the closet and grabbed the gun at the top of the shelf, tucking the locked box beneath his arm. He grabbed his leather jacket, his larger leather duffle and dropped his things within it. Sylvia sat on the bed, watching him. Wanting to stop him, but couldn't. Sh
e was torn, right down the middle, and was being pulled in both directions. What was right? What was wrong? Who was right? Who was wrong? Dare she trust herself, or was she deceiving herself? Falling for him again?

  He was getting ready to go, and said one last thing at their door. "I just want you to know, there's nothing wrong with wanting peace, tranquility—a quiet place to relax and breathe. Nothing wrong in that at all; it's just that, Sylvia—it's not free. It comes at a price - it comes at great cost, and…because I'm the man of this family, only I—can pay that bill."

  He walked down the basement stairs, praying with every step he took, that she would stop him. No such thing took place.

  He went into his office and picked up his laptop, tucking some of his work into the satchel for it. With his bags and his laptop, he made his way out of the basement to the yard where everyone was busy. He was looking for Angela, to have a little talk with her. He went to the SUV, opened the door and put his things in on the passenger seat. Slamming the door, he turned to look for her; Mundo was walking up to him, smiling, eager to tell him something.

  "Papa-Shawn! You got to come and check this out! Come see what I did! Built with my own two hands!" Mundo grinned, bragging. Shawn smiled and followed him to the side of the garage. His motorcycles were sitting there under tarp. Jake was standing there as well, sawdust everywhere; but finished, were two portable racks for Sylvia. "Can you tell which one I did?" Mundo asked, all his front teeth showing.

  "This kid learns quick! I can tell you that now." Jake added, smiling, even as he stared at his brother, noting the strained look about him, regardless of the smile.

  "You built one of these?" Shawn asked Mundo.

  "Yep! Which one?"

  Shawn looked them over, moved them to test their sturdiness, to see which one was loose, shaky, not quite built right. They were both well-made, in fact, identical. "Well? Which one?" Mundo urged again.

  Shawn tried to find something that made one different from the other, and finally gave up. "Wow…I can't tell. You—are the man! The next man, anyway!" Shawn laughed, grabbing Mundo and hugged him; emotional, he held him longer than he should have, tears rushed to his eyes again. "I love you, kid…I love you—and you are—my son…always know that, okay? Never doubt that for a moment. I will always—always be here for you, okay?" Shawn whispered above his ear, then let him go and backed away. "Where's Angela?" He asked, trying to look away.

  Mundo stood dumbfounded. Jake swallowed and looked towards the house, and made his way towards it. Shawn knew his intent. "Jake! Leave it alone…she's upset enough."

  Mundo looked from Jake, back to Shawn. "What's going on? What's wrong papa-Shawn?"

  "I need to talk to Angela, where is she?"

  "About what? Whas…whassup? Whas wrong, man?"

  "I'll talk to you and Angela, where is she?"

  "She gone to the store with Crystal, they be back in a minute. Why you upset, man?"

  "Maybe…that's a good thing. Look, you have my mobile and, uh, I'll be staying at the Super 8…well…for a while, I guess, I don't know."

  "Super 8? For what? What you gone be there for?"

  "Your mother and I are having a few…problems. I don't wanna upset her; it's not good for the baby, you know. So, while I'm gone—"

  "Man! You ain't goin' nowhere! What the hell is going on? Problems? Naw, naaaw—I'on even wanna hear dat. You ain't goin' no-where, man! What you leavin' for? If we havin' problems, we'ah fix it with you here…but you ain't got to go nowhere to fix it! Forget that!"

  "Mundo, I'm just going to the Super 8…that's not far—"

  "My mama tell you she want you to leave?"

  "No, not really…but…I think it's for the best. She needs…a bit of time. I'm a bit hard to take, sometimes."

  "You hard to take? To who? To my moms? Naaaw, forget that! That motherfucka' before you—was hard to take! His ass was allowed to hang around for too goddamn—"

  "HEY! Calm down! Listen to me! I'm not gonna have it! You understand?" Shawn corrected him briskly. "Don't you dare—say anything to upset her more! Nothing! You understand? That is your mother, she is…who she is…and I love her; just the way she is. I love you, with all my heart and soul, God above knows that I do. You are my son! Nothing is ever going to change that! Nothing! So…calm down." Shawn grabbed his head and pulled him into his arms again for another hug. Kissing his forehead. "I'll talk to Angela later; I'll call, okay?" He whispered in his ear.

  Mundo nodded, his expression closed, his mouth tight, moisture stinging the back of his eyes. Shawn pat him on the back, and stepped away. Jake was standing there watching him, his eyes red and moist. Vivian was across the road with Shanna. Shawn looked up at him, offered a sad smile. "No one, is to mess with her, don't say a word. Leave her alone."

  Jake nodded, and looked away.

  Shawn looked back to Mundo. "Everything will be okay."

  "I don't want you to go." Mundo admitted softly.

  "I don't want to go, but—I need to. Give your mother some space. I'd rather go, knowing she's here, than—her leave and not know where she is. I can't go through that again." Shawn admitted walking to the SUV. He opened the door and climbed in. "I'm gonna go, get some sleep. I'm really tired and, uh…like I said, you got my mobile. Okay?" He slammed the door, and started it up.

  "Hey, this, uh…temporary…right?" Mundo asked, needing to know that. He didn't want him to go.

  "I hope so, I sure as hell hope so." He turned in his seat, looked behind him to see that it was clear and backed out. Mundo stood back, watching him go. Jake was standing by the garage, watching his brother leave. Watching Mundo fight for control of his emotions. He'd been on top of the world just a moment ago, and now, in a matter of moments, he was down. All while he worked, he'd kept saying, "Wait till my papa-Shawn see this! I can't wait to show'im!"

  Under the circumstances, Jake decided to finish the other two racks tomorrow. He was putting the tools away, the crew were still working across the road clearing away the last of the debris from the demolished house, and would be back tomorrow to start on the foundation for the photography studio. He looked up, and Mundo was still standing there. "Hey!" He called to him. Mundo looked up. "Come help me put these tools away, clean up over here."

  Mundo stared a moment, and then walked over, doing what he was told.

  Quiet, together they cleaned up. Almost done, Mundo asked, "What's going on? You know?"

  "No…I don't."

  "Yeah, you do. You know…I know you know. I ain't stupid. Well, you know what? I don't care! Whatever it is, I - don't - care! I want my papa-Shawn back here! That's all, and I'm gone tell her, too."

  "You don't say, or do anything that will upset your mother, you understand? You heard him loud and clear. Give her some time, she needs to come around on her own."

  Mundo said nothing more, but his mind was working.

  Twenty minutes later, Crystal and Angela pulled up. Right away, he went to them, telling them what took place while they were gone.

  Crystal couldn't believe it. Angela looked up at both of them and said, "What'll we do? I don't want them to split up! I want things to stay the way they are!"

  "I know, but the truth is, it doesn't matter how bad you want something—the way it's gonna be, is the way it's gonna be. Simple as that." Crystal murmured softly down to her, stroking Angela's hair back from her forehead. "So we just do nothing?" Angela cried.

  "Your dad loves my mother, and my mother—loves your dad. We have to let them work it out." Crystal told her softly. "No matter what, we have each other, right, lil'sis?"

  Angela nodded, hugging Crystal. She loved her, looked up to her, and would do anything for them to stay together. Mundo stood quiet, feeling the same. But they had each other, they had his mother. For once in his life, he had someone too—just for him, and nobody was taking him away from him.

  Jake was back across the road. Vivian and Shanna were preparing a big dinner. When he walked in, they were busy a
t it, the smells from what they were preparing filling the house. He'd made a loud, "Emmm um!" Declaration as he made his way to his room, leaving them to get on with it. He got together some fresh clothes and went to the bathroom to shower. When he came out, Vivian was in the room, she looked up smiling at him. "Guess who's coming to dinner?"

  He started laughing right off, "Is that a trick question?"

  Vivian started laughing as well, "You silly man! Of course not! Guess?"

  Jake sighed, "Sydney Poitier?"

  "Stop it, Jake, of course not! Officer Collier!"

  "Ohhh, whoopeee!"

  "Jake! Shanna is so happy! He came by today while we were all out; he's coming to dinner tonight, so please, be on your best behavior."

  "Aren't I always?" He winked. "So what's cookin'?"

  "Pepper steak, baked potatoes, green bean casserole…salad…wine. I'm gonna call Sylvia and Shawn, get them to come to it. They need to be around lively company, so they both can just…unwind, especially Sylvia." She informed him, sitting on the bed.

  Jake sighed, "I think, you're going to have to change those latter plans of yours."

  "What? Why?"

  "Shawn's…well, he's not at home."

  "Sure he is, I saw him come home."

  "Yeah, well…he's gone…again."

  "Where?"

  "To the Super 8."

  Vivian sat staring up at him as if he were crazy. "Why?"

  "They're having problems. He said that Sylvia was upset, and so, he left."

  "Just like that?"

  "Well, if I know my brother, I'm certain it wasn't just like that! If he left, there obviously was no other alternative."

  "I can't believe Sylvia just let him go! Just like that? Is she crazy? I'm going over there!" Vivian stood.

  "No—you're not! Leave her be."

  "Excuse me! We've been friends for years! I've been knowing her since I was a little girl! We talked earlier…and I didn't know she was so upset that she would consider splitting up with him, I mean…hey, everyone gets upset. But—no…I can't believe this!"