"He ain't so far Bart." Gert tried to console him.
"No, I suppose he ain't. Look how my Jake turn out. I don't know how to make things right with that one. He seem to do things, just to get back at me. I see it in his eyes Gert - I see him sayin', take this ol'man - take that. And then I get mad at him, because I don't know what else to do with him. I don't know how - to make him right."
"He ain't that bad Bart. He love you, all your children love you."
"Yeah... may be. But - every one - is just a little broken - in they own way - because of me. Now our Kathy Ann. Know what she said to me on the phone?"
Gert moved closer to him, her arms around him, "No - what she say?"
"She said, you didn't do Shawn right daddy - why you do'em so bad? He - he done the best he could. You shouldn't've done him like you did - daddy - you shouldn't have."
Gert rubbed his back, she was choked up and worried about her husband now, "Bart - you and me, we both done our wrong. I done mine-..."
"I was the greater sinner of us two." He reminded her again.
"Bart - he's home now. He's back. And we're all here now."
Bart sat staring at their bedroom door, slumped as if burdened by the world and all its troubles. "My lil'girl - she out there now - look how she turn out. I blame you - but in truth - its my doing. Its my - doing." He sniffed. "I love my lil'girls Gert! My precious - beautiful daughter's - I gotta find her."
"Bart... we have to leave her - to find herself."
"No! I'm gonna call Shawn - talk to him, tell him -..."
"No you're not Bartholomew! No you're not!" Gert stood before her husband and looked down at him, stern and determined. "You - you leave him alone! You hear me? He's got enough on his plate! Kathy Ann - is not - his problem! She - is not - his responsibility!"
"He's the oldest - its up to him-..."
"NO - IT IS NOT!! You've drilled that into my son for so long, he still thinks that! She - is a grown woman and he did nothing to encourage her! She has to find a way, to fix herself! He can't fix her!"
"She says, he won't look at her no more. Why Gert?"
"Because I told him Bart! I told him what her problem was! He wouldn't leave her alone. He was pestering her for answers! Wanting to know why she treated him the way she does! With her drinking, and him just newly married - just settling in with his new wife, baby on the way - I couldn't let him push her to maybe - one day blurting it out, and God forbid, in front of Sylvia! Lord! I couldn't let it go on! He needed to know. I couldn't let her maybe ruin things with his wife. I couldn't take that chance Bart!"
Bart folded with his face in his hands. He didn't know what to do. He wouldn't be able to rest, wondering about where she was, what might be happening to her.
"Bart-..." Gert called his name.
"Her poor heart - just broke in two. God'ah'mighty - how do I fix it?"
"You can't Bart. You can't."
"I don't understand. I get one child back, only to lose another. I can't handle my kids bein' away from me. My Shanna being off the way she was, damn near made me insane. They all here now - all home. I need them to stay right here. Shanna's with Shawn - Derrick's in Madison, not too bad, like you said. We got to get Jake a place mother. Some where, on his own land ... not far from here. I can't let'em get away from me now."
"Bartholomew, every parent has to face the possibility of their children leaving the area." Gert reasoned with him. "Its just the way it is."
"No ... mine need to be here! I'm a old man now Gert-..."
"Bart you not that old."
"I feel old. I feel - like I need to make things right - 'fore I go - I gotta make it all right. I gotta Gert - I need to keep them 'round me - so I can."
Gert stepped between her husband's legs and hugged him to her breasts. She held him tight, rubbing his back, "Your children will always be here for you Bart. They all love you. They're not going anywhere. An' Kathy Ann, she's just needing a little time. She'll be back." She assured him, stepping back, looking down into his face. She loved him, through it all, she loved him deeply.
Staring up into her eyes, Bart could see it. He reached up, touched her face.
"I - ever thank you - for staying with me Gertrude?"
"You never had to."
"Yeah well, you left me a couple of times." He brought that up.
She smiled. "I was just re-charging my batteries." She joked.
"Gertrude - I ask - can you please, forgive me? Not like I did you, but - really - forgive me?" He continued, his eyes filled with tears, and he wanted to confess - he wanted to tell her, that he was present the night Edwin Piercey died. He wanted to confess, that maybe - had he stepped forward - he might have been able to save his life. He wanted to tell her that, but he couldn't. He was too old to be alone. He was scared, that maybe - hearing that from him - she might leave him this time, for sure. He couldn't take that.
"Now where is that coming from? Am I not right here with you? Always been? Haven't I?"
"I haven't always deserved it though mother."
"Well that makes us perfectly suited then, don't it? Because - I've done my wrong. I can't deny that. We come too far now Bart, to give up the fight now. Let's agree, to start new, how's about that? Right here, from this moment forward. Hm, how's about that then? We start fresh, and new. You got nothing to forgive me for, I got nothing to forgive you for? What you think?"
"That mean we forgettin' everything?"
"Everything that could possibly come between us. That - yes. We gone forget it all."
"I'd like that."
"So would I. Is it a deal then?"
"Its a deal mother. Its a deal. You love me Gert?"
"With all my heart, I love you Bartholomew."
"I couldn't live without you mother. Every night I pray - Lord - please - when its our time, make sure you take me first."
"Will you just stop talking like that! I expect another twenty years out of you, at the very least - you ol'buzzard! Don't wanna hear no nonsense about our time. You hear?"
Bart hugged her close, and prayed that she was right. "I love you, Gertrude Eleanora McPherson. Lord knows, I do."
* * *
Next Morning...
It was early, not quite 6am yet, both were awake. Sylvia had gone and used the bathroom, followed by Shawn. Now, they lay together in each other's arms in the hotel room he'd gotten the evening before. With her back to his chest, spooned as he most preferred with her close against him. He was holding her hand, playing with her fingers, quiet as they lay. Upon closer inspection, Shawn noted how much larger his hands than hers, how thicker his fingers were against those of his wife's. Talking low, his voice rich, deep in her ear, he commented, "You have such small hands - the most slender fingers, so long and delicate, look at these fingernails of yours. Baby comes, you're gonna have to get rid of these." He kissed the nape of her neck. Sylvia was quiet, wishing for all the world that she could stay right there, that he could remain there.
"Talk to me. You're too quiet." He murmured gently.
She couldn't speak. She was worried. Yes, she'd given in. Having little choice up against her children, their children. They were a family. They were all, in love with each other. That in itself was a blessing, that they all meshed together so wonderfully. This had been on Sylvia's mind, had in fact brought her from a contented sleep, along with her husband's hands, touching her, caressing her lower bulge, gently so as not to wake her. She pretended to sleep at first, to covertly observe him. She could tell that he was trying to feel their child, the look of fascination and wonder was something to behold. She could tell that he was on his mind; his Jesse James. He'd whispered so lightly, that had she been sleeping, she would have never heard him plead, with a touch of awe and such passion, "My son, daddy's here, let me feel you moving ... just a little, come on."
His words had taken her breath away; Sylvia had fallen in love with him, all over again. A thought followed those feelings, one that asked, was it possible to fa
ll in love with the same man, over and over, day after day, as often as she continued to fall for this one? He'd leaned down and kissed her belly, stroking it, totally absorbed by it, gingerly examining her and then rose to gaze at her, only to see her eyes open, staring up at him. He had smiled. "You caught me." He simpered.
"Yeah, I caught'yah."
"I can't wait for you to - to get bigger, for him to get bigger, so I can feel him move. I know he's moving around, he's just so little right now. You have no idea, how much I love him, how much I want him. How happy this makes me, that you're pregnant with my baby."
"Yeah, I do. And in no time at all, he'll be bigger, moving around like crazy-..."
"And I want to feel every kick, every motion, every roll within that he makes."
Sylvia chuckled, "Silly man, that will be impossible."
"Do you know, how beautiful you are right now? How much more beautiful you're going to get, as you grow more and more round with my son?"
"You mean, when I'm doing the duck waddle, big as a cow, unable to move-..."
"If it were left up to me, I would keep you just that way. Oh my god, I can't wait."
Sylvia had shook her head in disbelief, "What am I going to do with you Shawn?" With a sigh, she moved towards the edge of the bed, "Now, if you will excuse us, we have to go potty." He'd laid away so that she could; watching her stunning naked body from behind as she entered the bathroom and closed the door.
A while later, now that they both lay after taking care of their morning duties, and him waiting for her to answer his observation of her quiet contemplation.
"Come on wife, talk to me. What's going through your mind?" He asked, drawing closer to her, fitting her body snugly against his. He was stirring from the warm contact of her buttocks, he hadn't intended to be turned on, but they were naked, his groin against her incredibly firm bottom, he had no control of that. Sylvia could feel the length of him, growing more solid, hard as he lay against her. She didn't mind it. Her husband was all man, alive, healthy, strong. He was a red blooded male with a virile libido. His arms enclosed her securely, his body radiated a heat that she needed to feel. She lay there with thoughts of how wondrous God was. To have created two separate genders that could come together, and grow to mean so much to each other, that they felt as one. How did he come up with the chemical, the hormones, the emotions that left one paralyzed with what she felt. Where and how did he come to instill within the human brain the psychological blueprint that manifested itself into such a profound feeling, and then - just call it, love? And because of the demands of love, with its talons gripped so deeply into her, how did one survive the possible loss of their one true love? This man holding her, could be taken from her at anytime. Especially now, after what had possibly occurred.
"Sylvia? Baby... talk to me? What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid Shawn. You've won you know ... you've won. You've done - what you set out to do. You saw, you pursued, and you have conquered me - heart and soul. Now, I lay here, completely submitting myself to you. Yet I lay here knowing, that - because of whatever has happened, at any time - you could be taken from me. You see, you maybe the one, and only one who can pay the bill - you mentioned yesterday - the one that says, you must protect us all. But - who will protect you?" She turned to her back to look up at him. Shawn stared down into her face, stroking her soft cheek as the dawn crept in through the opening of the curtain, the dull light, laying across them in bed. He didn't know what to say. "Look at you, you don't know what to say, do you?" Sylvia murmured.
"You know... Jesse - he used to take care of me. Protect me. For the short period of time that he and I were together, I have been forever altered by him. Because, he honest to God, loved me. Embraced me. Talked to me. Taught me. Informed me - looked after me and made sure I did what I had to, to look after myself. Sylvia, honest and truly, he was my big brother. It was as if God said to him, he's yours - see about him. So much so, it was as if we had once shared the same womb."
"I suppose God told him to get your butt into porn as well?" She asked with low sarcasm, grinning to soften it. Shawn grinned too. "No, I don't think God had that part in mind, just another example of him giving us free will." He chuckled, propped up with an elbow, the heel of his hand holding his head above her. "He wasn't perfect Sylvia - but he was good. He had a good heart. He was smart as hell. Read all the time, had plans galore for his future, for mine. You know, he kept telling me, that I needed to go back to school. In fact, we had planned to do just a couple a more sets, and that would be it. We thought - we had plenty of time... you know. We thought, next year - we'll be in a position to start our own business."
"What kind of business?" Sylvia asked.
Shawn stared down at her fighting a grin, but started laughing anyway. Sylvia smiled and started laughing too, "What? Why are you laughing?"
"Because you will be in a minute when I tell you what he wanted to go into business doing. Its so out character for what we were doing. When I think back to it, I can't help but laugh, but hey - it would have been a successful business - it's that it just doesn't match him."
"Oh I gotta hear this, tell me."
"You're gonna laugh." Shawn shook his head.
"Just tell me." She grinned.
"Okay..." He kept stopping and laughing.
"Shawn, you talking about me laughing, you're the one who's laughing! Tell me."
"He thought up this idea to be a pet sitter."
"A what?"
"Take care of rich peoples dogs! He had it all planned, was gonna call it, brace yourself..."
On the verge of laughter already, Sylvia nodded, "I'm ready, let's hear it."
"The Howl & The Pussycat - Under One Woof."
Sylvia exploded, "Under one woof?!" She cried laughing with Shawn cracking up beside her, thinking back. "Hey! It was a good idea. Do you know how much money the rich and famous, and movie stars pay for their pets? It would have been a guaranteed hit! To get ready for it, we started pet sitting, you know, so that we could start building a reputation."
"Ya'll started what?" Sylvia asked wiping her eyes from tears of laughter.
"We started watching peoples pets in between shoots. It was all pretty easy until we got the job to keep this one woman's dog. I'll never forget this dog as long as I live. His name was, get this, Sir Winston Chewbacca Kadipiti -(ka-dip-pi-tea)- Lovaly Fancypants!" Shawn cracked up.
"WHAT!? Stop lying!"
"I'm telling you the truth, that was the dog's name."
"What - who in they right mind-..."
"Rich people, especially women-..."
"Rich white women!" Sylvia corrected him.
Shawn was laughing with her, "Yeah, more than likely. Anyway, we went to watch this dog. We were running late, and just about all of the household had gone with the owner to another property they were in the process of relocating to. She left the doorman back to wait on us, give us instructions, explaining how Master Kadipitipreferred his meals. We were informed that Master Kadipiti was at the moment napping and would be expecting to be taken for his routine walk immediately upon the completion of his evening snack."
"Shawn, come on." Sylvia couldn't believe it.
"Sylvia - I kid you not. That son-of-a-bitch doorman left us there alone to wait for this dog to wake up. You should have seen this home, talk about rich beyond your wildest dreams. Jesse and I walked around the mansion checking it out and wondering which room this Kadipiti was in. Laughing and talking loud, because well - we were alone, and truth be told - we had a buzz on from the beers that we brought along. And let me tell you, its a good thing I hadn't found a place to set our cooler of beer down yet, because all of a sudden, we hear this deafening bark, I mean it was loud..." Shawn laughed.
Back then with Jesse...
"What the - fuck - is that?!" Jesse stopped and turned back to ask Shawn who was standing holding their cooler of beer. They were in the upstairs hallway, a bit lost in the huge mansion, when they were startled by
the deepest, bellowing bark, either had ever heard.
"I - think that's a dog barking." The much younger Shawn commented.
"No shit Sherlock! Problem is, what kind of dog?!"
They both stood as the sound of the animal could be heard running to where they were, unable to see him, they could only stand, stare and wait, listening to the sound of it running as it barked, the rumbling of which was growing closer. Suddenly, down the hall it breeched the top of the stairs.
Kadipiti!
"Hee-ll na-a-aw!" Jesse rasped as they both stood in stunned disbelief.
There stood the strangest, specimen of a dog either of them had ever seen. A Bull Mastiff so big his doggy flap must have been the garage door. Though his demeanor seemed to indicate that he could probably rip a mans head clean off with ease, his attire contradicted this assessment. Around Kadipiti's ample neck was a red polka dot on white slobber-kerchief, while on his upper body he wore a matching tasselled waist, muscle shirt. He stood at the end of the hall, looking like a fat head, effeminate Scooby Doo. Shawn and Jesse could not believe their eyes. Simultaneously they turned and looked at each other and burst into laughter.
Their mirth was halted by a solitary rumbling, "RO-O-OF!"
Jesse tried to get serious, "Okay Shawn man, come on now - we can't be upsettin'em, laughing at this dog man. Look at'em ... let's not piss him off. That's Sir Winston Chewbacky Kadipitee do da - wha's his name?" Jesse asked which made Shawn explode into another fit of laughter.
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