BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Well, thank God for that." He said softly, hurt. Spinning in disbelief. He yanked her door open and went out in a rush, straight to his truck.

  Vivian stood with her heart slamming in her chest. She felt like something huge suddenly expanded in her chest until she couldn't breathe. Tears rushed to her eyes, she sprinted to the door. "JAKE! JAKE WAIT! PLEASE WAIT!!" She cried out, running down the three steps, yelling his name. He refused to stop and peeled away from the curb burning rubber before she was halfway across the sidewalk.

  "Why did I say that! GOD - why did I say that!?" She berated herself. She stood on the curb a few moments, watching the direction he went off on. It was night-time, dark, clear sky, crescent moon, all the stars shinning overhead. She covered her mouth and started crying. "I didn't mean it Jake. I didn't mean it." She hadn't meant any of it. She had felt so on fire from shame, that she lost control. She turned and went back into her home. Closing the door, locking it. She stood there, hoping he would come back. "Please... come back." Her stomach started hurting. After five minutes there, she walked through her living room to the kitchen. There, he'd fixed her plate and his; had even taken down a third plate by the looks of things. He'd just started eating, not much. She could see that. He must have stopped to listen at what was going on. "I'm so sorry please... come back." She picked up the chicken, put it back in the Churches chicken box. Put the cole-slaw back. The fried okra, the corn on the cob away and the fries. Everything was put away in the refrigerator. She couldn't eat, she was sick to her stomach.

  Chapter 196

  Moving slow through the house, her ears tuned into her hope that he would return, she walked into her bedroom, which felt different some how. Suddenly she stopped by her bed, and turned to look around it. The room had been slightly re-arranged and sitting elegantly against the wall, was the most incredible piece of furniture she'd ever seen. A woman's vanity. An old Victorian one that screamed, expensive, antique; pure regal, elegance. With her hand to her breasts she drew closer, amazed to see it in her bedroom, waiting for her. Neatly displayed on top, were three long stem dried roses, three long stem crystal candle holders, in varying height; a candle in each one, sitting on a cream antique like silk doily. There was also a card.

  Vivian reached for it, pulling the bench seat out, she sat and opened the card which read.

  Vivian,

  No - you are not mine - not yet. You deserve, the very best. Like this gift, I could not resist, reminding me of you... such class. A mere token drop before you - this is nothing compared to your worth. Accept it please - and perhaps one day, as you gaze in its mirror, you might catch my reflection there. Finally - me - worthy of you. One day - lil'girl - one day, you will be mine. And I pray that day, you see me as a man, who is deserving of the very best... you.

  Jake

  Vivian started bawling harder than ever. Reading his words was like another punch to her stomach. "I feel like shit! God I feel like shit! And over a damn crack-head! Jake please come back." She sobbed, looking for her purse. She rushed around the house looking for it; finally locating it in her kitchen. Wiping her eyes, sniffing, she went through it to find her mobile phone. Taking it out, she sat at the table and dialed his cell phone. It rang and rang, until his answering service clicked on. She hung up, and sat crying as a thought of where he might be came to her, she ran to her phone, dialing Sheila's.

  "Hello?"

  "Sheila? It's me, is Jake there?" Vivian wailed.

  "Damn! Ya'll just got home! Can't you go one day without fighting!? What happened now? Stop cryin' in my ear and talk to me."

  "My sister was here Sheila! Candace! You know Candace."

  "Missy Crack - yeah I know her. Lemme' guess, she want some money?"

  "Yes! And Sheila - she was here! At my house. I just moved in here. I never gave her my address. She came to my job the other week, asking me for money. The same day Sheila, that someone took my purse! And now, she knows where I live all of a sudden, is that a coincidence?"

  "And you didn't tell her where you live?"

  "No! I did not. I didn't want her to know where I live."

  "That's why she came to your job?"

  "Yes, because she couldn't reach me at home. I think she had something to do with my purse being snatched that day."

  "I hope the hell not, that's some scandalous shit! 'Cause if she set it up for your purse to get snatched, what else will her ass do for some crack."

  "I know, that's what I'm thinking."

  "Okay, so now - why are you and Jake into it?"

  "Because he must have gotten tired of hearing her pester me for money, and he gave her fifty dollars. Well of course that's all she wanted, she turned and left. Then I got mad, because I was so embarrassed as it was. But to have him, giving my sister money for her dope habit, ohhh - I just - he shouldn't be giving her money. All she doing is feeding that monkey on her back! The fool is gonna end up dead one day she keep it up. And I yelled at him about it. I said too much, I was so mad, so ashamed, and then for him to just throw that money away. Who's to say she don't go out and end up dead this time."

  "Wait a minute now, it ain't his goddamn fault she a crack-head. Granted, maybe he shouldn't have given it to her. Shit, I don't know what's worse. A crack-head or a cat, feed they ass just once, and they keep comin' back."

  "Exactly! That's my point! She'll be back here all the time! Especially since she knows where I live. She saw my ring too, you should have seen the look that came on her face. She had already asked me to ask Jake for money-..."

  "What? Tha's a shame! I swear when they get hooked on that shit, they don't have no kind of pride left! None!"

  "Anyway, Sheila-a-a..." Vivian whined tapering off.

  "Ah hell! What now?"

  "Will you take me by Mrs. Martin's, to see if he's there?"

  "Girl! I ain't got no clothes on! I done got all comfortable! He'll be all right, he'll be back tomorrow."

  "Please please please Sheila! I said something really awful to him, I need to go now and apologize. I won't be able to sleep tonight!"

  "Well what the hell you say!?" Sheila snapped, hating the idea of having to get dressed.

  Hemming and hawing, Vivian finally told her what she said.

  "Oh - no - you - didn't! Tha's wrong! That - is - wrong! You know yo' ass wrong! Why you even bring that shit up!? Yo' ass need to suffer for that shit!"

  "Sheila I am suffering! And then, I came in my room, did you know he bought me a vanity - a beautiful one. I can't believe it!"

  "Hell yeah I know! Me and Dennis helped him bring it in, change your room around! He put that ring on your finger, bought you that vanity - before he even made up his mind about you - he bought that! Yo'ass feeling like a Bo weevil about now I know."

  Vivian started crying again, couldn't speak.

  "Hush - shit! I'on wanna hear that! I'm getting dressed! I'mo toot the horn, you heah'me?"

  Crying, she sobbed out a yes.

  When Sheila pulled up in front of Lydia's building, it was to see Jake's truck parked out front to Vivian's relief. She jumped out, and turned back grabbing the food they had bought earlier saying to Sheila. "You can leave, I'm staying." She informed her.

  "What if he don't want you to stay?"

  "I'm staying! Thank you so much! I don't know what I would do without you Sheila."

  "Yeah - well I wish you'd find out! Bye! Crazy ass! Watch yo' goddamn tongue from now on! Shit - I'ain' gone be doing this every weekend! Go'on fool!"

  "I love you!" Vivian called out slamming her door and rushing to the basement entry. It was locked, so she went knocking on the front window to the basement. Sheila sat watching to make sure she got in. After a moment, the outside light came on, and then a moment later, the door opened. She watched Jake hold the door open for her, she disappeared inside, he looked out at her, waved. She nodded and pulled off shaking her head.

  Turning back into his apartment, not saying a word he was still pissed. Even so, there was no way he
would let her stand outside. No way he would turn her away. He'd almost gone back, he'd heard her calling his name, but he had his pride. He locked all the doors behind him. He'd been cleaning up his apartment when he heard her knocking. He was steaming - the next time he saw Benjamin, he would tell him off and good. One thing he couldn't stand, was a messy home. Crap laying everywhere. Jake had been raised in a clean home. His parents demanded that they all be clean, less than that was not tolerated by any of them. He couldn't believe the way it had been when he walked in. He'd made dishwater because there were a few dishes in the sink, table needed cleaning off; floor needed sweeping and mopping. There was sticky soda residue on the floor in front of the kitchen counter, and newspapers, magazines, a pillow and blanket on the sofa and the rug needed vacuuming.

  Vivian walked straight to the kitchen, placing the food on the table. She looked around as well seeing the mess. "You'll have to excuse the looks of things, obviously my son can't be bothered to clean up after himself." He explained walking by her to the sink where he stood, returning to washing the dishes. Vivian felt hurt by his actions, because he wouldn't look at her, hadn't made eye contact with her.

  "Come and eat, I'll take care of the dishes." She offered softly.

  "Not hungry." He returned flatly.

  "Did you pick something up on the way here?"

  "No."

  "Oh Jake. I'm so sorry... please believe me. I hate that I said what I did. I am so sorry. I didn't mean it!" Her stomach hurt with having to apologize scared that he might reject it. "You ever, let your anger get the best of you? Say something you know you'll regret? Even while you're saying it - you know you shouldn't be saying it - but it just keeps on coming out, and you can't stop - stop it! It was so - so..." She was back to bawling before she could finish her apology. He couldn't take it. Yeah, she'd hurt him. Yet, it wasn't as if what she said wasn't long overdue for someone to say to him. All the women in the past, not one would give it to him like she did. However, it was bringing Doris into it that nailed the pain for him; he didn't want to be reminded of his part that lead to her death. Yet, her words, Vivian's - were a testament of her strong nature and personality. As much as he wanted to ignore her, punish her for it, he couldn't. He knew she was sincere, and besides, her tears - that - he couldn't take. He grabbed the dish towel laying beside the sink, drying his hands. "C'mere."

  She rushed to him sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her, "Don't cry."

  "I can't help it - I'm so - s-s-sor-rieee. I didn't m-mean it! I didn't!"

  "Yeah baby, you did. People only say the things trapped in their head that they keep, until drunk or angry - then it all comes out."

  "No Jake! I was being mean - because I was - so ashamed, and - I've got a sister, that is hooked on crack cocaine. I was humiliated! Embarrassed. And you coming out, being witness to it, made me feel like shit! Then when you gave her the money - I just flipped out. Her drug addiction is not your fault! I just - hated for you to see her - my sister - like that! How do you think it makes me feel, for you to see her that way? She is - what all white people think about us! They all, think we're all that-..."

  "Vivian, there are white crack addicts!"

  "Maybe so, but you know what? Everyone says, they're that way, because no doubt someone black sold them their first hit; hooking them. We get blamed for all the wrong shit that happens! Doesn't matter that white people are guilty of some of the most heinous shit known to man! Its black faces you see on the news! I just hate it! And to have you see her, validating it - I just - needed to - bring you down too. And I'm - sor-ry - so sorry."

  Jake pulled her into his arms and held her tight, thinking what the hell could he say up against that. He knew that much of what she said was true. The more time he was with her, the more he was learning about the ugly distorted myths tied to being black. He had to admit, that her cleanliness, Sylvia's, Sheila's - took him by surprise. It wasn't what he expected, courtesy of the media and what most whites said when no one black was around to defend themselves. Didn't matter what his mother had done to educate him; nor did it matter that flowing through his blood, somewhere along his DNA strand, there existed black - hadn't been enough to deflect the general consensus surrounding black people. In his arms, was his first real and true love - almost as black as can be, and incredible beyond words. Beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, hard working, educated, clean, moral, dignified and elegant. She was all the things that so many said they could not be. Not just her, but Sylvia, Sheila, Dennis as well. Holding her, rubbing her back, kissing her temple, he realized what a hell of a burden it must be, to have to prove yourself every day of your life. Suddenly, he was in total and complete empathy with her, he understood. After all, was he not the same. Granted, due to his own rebellious actions, yet the fact was - once you were cast in a certain light, no one wanted to believe the best about you. People seemed to be more geared towards believing the worse. No matter how much evidence was presented to prove otherwise.

  Vivian looked up at him, her eyes red and bit swollen from her crying, he wiped her tears, "I said - said I would never hurt you - that - you could always believe in what I felt - but - I lashed out because-..."

  "Shhh, you don't have to explain any further. I've done it myself. It was only a matter of time before it came back at me."

  "But - it shouldn't have been by me! And to bring her up, I can't believe I said that, but - I knew that would - hurt - and-... oh, I just know that I love you and I am so sorry."

  "Its over okay? We'll just let it drop - no more need be said." He rasped, kissing her forehead.

  "You still love me?"

  "Don't be silly lil'girl. You'll have to come a whole lot harder than that to shake me off." He declared, palming her beautiful face, he leaned down and kissed her lips, tasting the salty tracks of her tears. She heard his stomach growl. "Aaah, let me heat your food up so you can eat."

  "Later - something else has taken the lead in what I need." He returned stepping around her, taking her by the hand to lead her towards his bedroom. Vivian gulped. "You sure you don't wanna eat first?"

  "Positive. Don't you want me?"

  "Of course I do." She answered, not all that convincing. Vivian knew she had to get used to him. He was a man who loved sex - who loved making love to her. The things he did to her body sent her beyond a climax. He caused a lingering torture, that jolted every nerve ending in her body, and he refused to stop. No matter how she screamed, pleaded, tried to get away from him. He needed her that way. It did something to him, to do what he did to her - touching her intimately at her feminine places, feeling her heat and moisture; watching her body squirm, gyrate and buck from the shear seizure of what assailed her. He needed the full act, which gave him a rock hard erection, so he could penetrate - as if a seal that guaranteed him pleasure as he rode her.

  He was addicted to it.

  She was not, that was Vivian's problem.

  Jake wanted her everyday, and if she would allow him, he would have her twice a day and at times - again. Her body was not accustomed to it, for that matter she may never grow accustomed to it. Not with his size. For the life of her, she didn't see how any woman could become a prostitute. He was pealing her clothes away right then. The attention he paid to her, to her body was as if this man worshiped the body of a woman. Undressing her, he used such adoration - such anticipation. Removing her bra, his mouth was there, laving her nipples, already beaded hard for the touch of his moist, warm tongue. He laved it, and suck on it as if a babe hungering for milk. Her small mound was covered by his hungry mouth and then he moved to the other. Already trembling, Vivian braced herself with her hands gripping his shoulders, he was ever busy. Where his mouth paid special care to her breasts, his hands were stripping her lower body, stroking her soft dark skin; he had her panties and pants at her ankles. Vivian pulled her feet free of them biting into her tongue. His fingers were already at her pulsing sex. She moaned, she couldn't help it. Even though she was forcing herself to bear
his attentions, his touch still turned her on. He lit her fire as no man could, and no where down the road did Vivian see another man who could compare to this one. Her body knew him now. Knew what he wanted from it. His fingers parted her tender, delicate folds; she was so sensitive; a whimper escaped her. She wondered how could she be so turned on, at the same time the folds of her intimate place were feeling sore from him having his way with her the night before. He'd moved the goal post a bit with her, he was starting to penetrate and thrusts within her now. Using his length to pump in and out of her body and it was getting ready to happen again.

  But first, he would torture her, he would traumatize her. He would send her body through such shock that there was no way she could squelch her screams. Another whimper escaped her, he was on his knees, kissing up her thighs, heading straight for the part of her that he couldn't seem to get enough of.

  "Jake..." His name came out part cry, a bit of a keening sound to it.

  He was lost in it, his tongue was there, lapping at her, he lifted one leg to the bed. Once he started, there was no stopping him. It was as if the scent of her, the taste of her, turned him into something that hungered for more. He was guiding her to the edge of the bed, to sit down. With a pounding heart, Vivian sat. He was looking down between her thighs, absolute carnal lust, he spread her legs wider. "Nooo Jake... please, not that."

  "It makes me harder when I do it. The smell, the taste, makes me crazy." He announced, his nostril flared, licking his lips. Quick as a flash, he snatched his shirt off over his head. Kneeing closer to her, between her legs, he grabbed her by the back of her head, and opened his mouth over hers, sticking his tongue deep. Vivian felt that if he could devour her, he would. "Undo my pants." He gasped out to her. Then kissed her hard and deep again. Vivian reached for the front of them and undid them; her fingers brushed his erection, she pushed his jeans open and down and then circled the thick staff of him with her hand.