BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  "What if I say no?"

  "What if I walk out that fucking door and don't come back?"

  "That's not fair, Jake!" She stomped.

  "You're wasting time, you're gonna be late for work! Give over!" He pumped the fingers of his hand, growing impatient with waiting.

  "Ugggh!" She pressed the pill into his palm hard, not happy.

  "Where are the others...hand'em over!"

  "No! No I'm not handing anything over!" she fussed.

  "You see what time it is? I'm not getting a speeding ticket to get you to work on time. Start getting dressed, I'll take care of it," he ordered, walking around her to the Chester, giving her a little shove out of the way and opened the drawer to find them himself. Stunned, Vivian kicked him in the calve. "Don't shove me!" she mumbled, and then, "What do you think you're doing?" she recovered enough to ask, standing there in disbelief. He found what he was looking for. She had enough birth control to last her the year in the top drawer. He began collecting them—all of them.

  "Excuse me!" She stood incredulous.

  "Quit messing around and get ready for work. Don't mind me and what I'm doing." He went on as if he had every right and the entire discussion of the matter was closed.

  "Ach!" Vivian stood with her mouth open, helpless in her own trap, no clue of how to handle him. She couldn't give him ultimatums because she already knew, he wouldn't stand for it. She couldn't threaten to break it off, because she was in love with him. She never felt so out of control before in her life. "Jake…ple-e-ease? Don't do this."

  "I'm not telling you again to get ready for work. You're gonna be late." He dropped them all in the makeshift pouch of his shirt he had pulled up to catch them in, going through each of her drawers for more. "Any more?" he asked.

  "As if I'd tell you!" she retaliated.

  "Vivian! I'm telling you now! I'm no dummy to this kind of thing, okay? I'll be wearing a condom for three weeks, to give this shit time to get out of your system. I don't want it fucking with my babies. After three weeks, you're knocked up—or else!"

  "Or else? Don't be threatening me with no ‘or else’! If my memory serves me correctly, we've already done the ‘or else’!" she fumed and then went on to ask, "Obviously your old age is creeping up on you, because you must have lost your mind! Just because you're not using a condom and I'm off the pill for three weeks, doesn't mean I'll automatically get pregnant! We may not be compatible, anything could be wrong with you or I! And if I remember correctly, the doctors say you should wait six weeks before trying."

  "Fine! Six weeks then!" he yelled, leaving the room to find a garbage bag. Vivian knew she should be getting ready for work, but couldn't believe this was happening to her, his audacity was over the top. "Even after six weeks, there's no guarantee I'll get pregnant, Jake!"

  "With me fucking you—you will!"

  Vivian let out another shocked, "Ach! You - you use the F-word too much!" she accused, too frustrated to think. "Nasty dawg! Yo' uncouth ass!"

  Jake looked back at her, lifted an arrogant brow, and told her, "I'll work on that." He informed her entering the kitchen, "But know this, you can call me what you will—fact is—I'm a McPherson, we don't play! We don't fire blanks! Every one that hits your ass is out to get you; you better believe it! Once I shoot it up you, that's it—they're in—they mean business! Lemme' tell you now, our shit’s got teeth!" He turned around growling, making Pac-man biting gestures, his teeth clacking with the shake of his head, like a dog biting into tough meat. "I'll have your ass knocked up in no time!"

  Vivian stood a moment suspended in disbelief, "Oh my god, what have I done? You are not normal! There's something wrong with you, do you know that?"

  "Get ready for work, Vivian!" he bellowed from the kitchen, finding her garbage bags.

  She turned around in the middle of the floor, had a miniature fit and rushed back into her room to find something to wear to work. She had a face on, resenting that he was coming into her life and start calling the shots when they didn't even have a wedding date yet. Grumbling to herself, "I'm telling you now, I am not gonna be looking stupid, big ass belly with a wedding dress on!" She sat down to put on her pantyhose, working the nylon up her legs with practiced ease, next grabbing her slip, fussing, "I was single…free…in charge of my own shit! Naw! Not happy! I was lonely. Gotta have a ma-a-an, and wanted his ass! Dammit!" she was mumbling low, stepping into the slip pulling it up her body, fixing the straps over her shoulders. "I should have stayed my butt at home—going to that doggone wedding! That damn red dress, I'm ripping that damn thing up soon as I get home. Sheila told me not to wear that dress! Naw! Gotta get me a ma-a-an! I want me a white man! This what my ass get!"

  "What are you mumbling?" he asked on his way past her door to the bathroom.

  "Do you mind if I get ready for work? Is that alright with you? Because that's what I'm doing." she stated sarcastically, clearly irritated.

  Jake only grinned, winked and went into the bathroom. Shaking her head, Vivian went to her cologne tray; only thing she had to look forward to now was getting home from work, so she could put everything into and on her new vanity. She picked up the cologne she always wore for work, Acapella by Mary Kay; one of her favorites, spraying it in the places she customarily did. She walked around her room with her lip out, at her closet, she grabbed one of her dress suits, a simple one. When she turned from the closet, he was standing in her doorway, watching her dress. Vivian rolled her eyes at him, ignoring him; while he stood, wanting her, again. Her bra and panties were lacy, delicate and sexy. Her waist tiny within the clinging silky slip. She stepped into her skirt, pulled it up, zipped up the back and buttoned it. It was a bit loose at her waist, while hugging her hips and butt.

  Look at her. No way in hell she's staying like that. Yep Dennis…couple of babies will take care of that right away. With any luck, she'll put on some weight, won't be able to lose it and that will be that. Anything that sexy needs to be full of babies all the time, he was thinking as he watched her lean over her dresser, putting make-up on. A bit of eyeliner, her mascara…lipstick. He walked up to her, his desire was clear, he wanted to touch her, caress her shapely rear, did so, running his hand over her back-side, was about to grab hold of her, to kiss her.

  "Oh, no you don't! Back your butt up! Don't even try it! Hand off of my butt! I am getting ready for work! You gonna make me late! Now move," she ordered, pushing out of his arms, wiggling free, heading for the bed where the top to her suit lay. Jake stood aside, his heart pounding, everything about her turned him on. She finished dressing, eyeballing him. He stood with a look on his face that was a clear battle not to grab her again. "Jake, go on now, behave!" she ordered, with a bit of a whimper, buttoning up the last button, made constantly aware of how little control she had over him.

  "I will - for now. But just think - two months from now, you'll be pregnant! Guaranteed."

  "Sorry Charlie - no guarantees on that." She spit out quickly; nose in the air.

  Jake chuckled, "Yeah, we'll see. You wanted me, you got me." He strode over to her, arrogant and at ease, looking down into her eyes, "You wanted my babies, you better believe it, you're gettin' them too. Because I'll be loadin' you up with enough sperm on a regular to see to it. You better believe it. Ready to go?"

  She stepped away from him, her heart pounding from his threat, nothing to say, sulking, she grabbed her things, her brief and headed for the door. He strode towards the table, picked up his cowboy hat and dropped it on his head, grinning and followed her out, his keys jingling in hand.

  * * *

  Wisconsin...

  Sylvia and Shanna were off again, first dropping Angela off at school, then by the hospital so they could remove the outer stitches from the gash caused by Sylvia's fainting and falling. Once that was done, they would be on their way to Wisconsin Dells. There was a small seminar for hotel owners, with various ideas, new innovations and set ups for tourist season, with registrations for new businesses, which in
cluded bed and breakfast establishments. On the way back, they would be making the final purchases for the kitchen appliances. Once they were delivered, Shawn would finish the kitchen once and for all. Mundo was still in bed, sleeping late, once up, he would be going to pick Angela up from school. Shawn was in the basement working. Once again, the phone was ringing, he had a feeling, he was going to have to get Mundo up, or turn the answering machine on. "Hello?"

  "Hey, its me - Benjamin."

  Shawn sighed, "Yeah? What's up?"

  "I uh, slept by grandma Gert's, I'll be heading back to Chicago later on, but I thought - maybe, we could do that first, what I talked to you about? You know, the test."

  "When?" Shawn asked, with too much work to do on his mind.

  "I called the other day, they said we could come in this morning. Drawing blood won't take long, they'll then do the rest. I'll pay for it."

  "This morning?"

  "Yeah."

  "I don't have time Benjamin. I have work to get done that I'm backed up on."

  "Well when will you have time?"

  "I don't know, in a couple of weeks or so." Shawn didn't mean to sound irritated, but he was; he was reluctant to do it, in all honesty - even though he said he would, he wished he hadn't now. It didn't matter what Jake said, how generous or magnanimous he was being about the whole matter. Because he was the one doing it, it made it easier on him, however - Shawn had a feeling, that if he knew that Benjamin was seeking validation, taking the matter out of his hands, and into his own, it would hurt. It didn't matter that he had been the one who stated that he might be his father, when it all came down to it, Jake would be made to feel, once again - not good enough.

  "A couple of weeks? Its only going to take an hour, an hour and a half at the most. I need to know, I just wanna get on with it, and then get on with my life! I'm not asking you for anything else, just that! I mean if the idea puts you off so bad, I won't tell you the results! That way you can go on ignoring my existence!"

  "Benjamin - dammit! If that's what I was trying to do, I would have never gone by and spoken with your mother."

  "Then do this for me, please? I'll leave you alone after this."

  Shawn ran his hand over his head, frustrated. "What time?" He asked.

  "Sooner we get in, the quicker it'll be done. I'll come and get you, bring you back. That way you can continue on working until I get there."

  "Yeah, fine - I'll be here."

  "Thanks - I'll be there within the hour." Benjamin clicked off.

  Shawn shook his head, bringing his focus back to what he was doing with a quick glance at the clock. He was almost done with one book cover layout, and was setting up promo's for it. Once that was completed, he would make up the graphics for the website, put it to a folder and pray that his wife would take care of it for him when she came home. Closing down Photoshop, he had just enough time to zip it up, write her a brief message concerning the urgency, so he wouldn't forget, and sent it to her. He also sent her a web site that he would like her to use as a template - simple, nice was best. Here it was Thursday, and he needed to be showing something to the James's by Friday. When he returned from going with Benjamin, he would have to buckle down, lock out all distractions and get enough done to satisfy his bosses.

  It was a guarantee, if you have deadlines to meet, time flies - next thing he knew, Benjamin was knocking. Shawn put on his running shoes, grabbed his wallet, stuck it in his back pocket, his mobile phone as well and headed for the door. Mundo was still sleeping. Using the basement door, Shawn smiled to ease things between them, "Okay, let's do this."

  Glad to see his smile, Benjamin returned it, happy with the small gift from a man he had a feeling was his father. Thing was, they were too similar in too many ways not to be. Their hair was practically cut the same, same hairline pattern, density and texture, and then with the earring, the resemblance was uncanny. They both saw it in each other. Differences, Benjamin was darker than Shawn in skin tone, and he was a couple of inches taller. The more they saw each other, with the newness of just meeting wearing off, the more things showed up and became obvious. They had the same walk, gestures, and the voices were so alike - they could easily trick anyone over the phone about who they were talking to. Yet, there was the fact, that all three brothers have very similar voices; this was especially true of Jake and Shawn; evidence that it could go either way. Derrick's voice was a tad bit deeper, rich and commanding with little or no effort.

  Shawn sat in Benjamin's Chevy, Monte Carlo, buckling up as Benjamin did the same, saying right off, "I really appreciate you doing this, taking the time away from your work."

  "I figure we need to get it over with."

  "Yeah, I'd like to. Uh, I don't know what you do exactly, but - in exchange for this, I'd like to help you get caught up. As you already know, I do photography. I'm also damn good in Photoshop, computer graphics, 3D imagery - right now, I'm addicted to Poser and-..."

  "You're kidding me?" Shawn asked, stunned.

  "Nope... look in the back seat; my laptop, all my work is there." He directed Shawn, who looked back to see a camera, full travel photography gear, and an expensive laptop. "I freelance; I refuse to get a regular job - I hate being tied down. I do photography, prep and sell to magazines or whomever I think will benefit the most from what I've captured or done. My hobby is 3D graphics, I'm better at it, than drawing, although I draw really good. Maybe not as well as you, but I've been able to milk an income from it."

  Shawn was stunned, he had no idea to what extent he worked in the same line as he did, although they had discussed it. "To get me out of the shit, I might just take you up on that. I'll have to look at some of your work of course."

  "No problem, reach back and get my laptop, I have a portfolio on it - I never know when I might have to show my stuff." Benjamin invited.

  Shawn reached back and grabbed it off the seat, placing it on his lap and switching it on. Benjamin had it password protected. "I'm locked out." Shawn alerted him. "I'll pass it at the light." He returned. Soon as he stopped, he reached over and typed in his password and hit enter. Shawn spent the next 15 minutes on the way to the hospital, looking through his portfolio. "Holy shit - these are outstanding. You do this for a hobby?"

  "Yeah, as you can see - I'm into sci-fi - but that gives you an eye for my abilities."

  "Well - from what I see - you can certainly assist me. However, I'm going to have to decline on the offer, since I'm getting paid, I need to be doing the work." Shawn reconsidered, his conscience bothering him.

  "You don't have to pay me, I'll just do enough to buy back this time I'm taking from you."

  Shawn was looking through more of them, his skill far exceeded his own in some areas. Despite the time crunch, he couldn't ask him to do it for nothing, it just didn't feel right. "Well from what I can see, you'll be able to name your price - that's for certain."

  "So you want my help?"

  "I'm going to have to slide on this offer, but ah - how's about a rain check?"

  Benjamin said nothing for a moment. "What are you afraid of? That I'll start hanging around, and you won't be able to get rid of me?"

  Shawn shot him an exasperated look. Benjamin gave a sideways glance, to which Shawn responded, "No Benjamin, you're welcome at my home any time. I mean that. My career, my job and my contract to Pen-tab Publishing is for me to fulfill. I've never shirked my responsibilities to what was mine to see to, and I'm not about to start now."

  Benjamin bit his tongue on thoughts that statement evoked. He was dying to ask him, if that were true, then why wasn't he pushing to find out the truth instead of him having to do it? If he was someone who never shirked his responsibility to what was his to see to. Once again, the truth, the facts of his paternity was not important to anyone, but himself.

  "Spill it - what's going through your mind?" Shawn asked.

  "You don't wanna know what's going through my mind, trust me."

  Shawn took a deep breath, thinking, 'Life
is a bitch that keeps giving it to you every chance she gets!' - "Rather than I spend the day with it on my mind, I'd much prefer you just spilled it."

  "Okay fine! You know that there's this chance that I'm yours. A damn good chance! I'm having a problem with the fact that you obviously don't give a damn; you could care less! If you did, this would have been your idea; not mine. You'll have to excuse the hell out of me, because I'm having to grapple with that fact. There - happy?"

  Shawn sat for a moment looking out of the car window at the passing scenery. What could he say? The kid was right. However, it was late in the day to add more to what he already had going on in his life. His plate was full. While he would not deny him were it to be proven true, he wasn't sure what to do once it was proven, that he was indeed Benjamin's father. He had a gut feeling that he was. He sat feeling that maybe he needed his head examined, because fact was - he still looked at him as Jake's son. He wasn't sure if he could ever see him any other way. While he was indeed a good looking young man; smart, talented, a self-starter. He'd just met him. There were no emotional ties to him, such as what he'd already formed with Mundo, who wasn't even his flesh and blood son, but he loved him that way. If someone told him to explain why - he wasn't sure that he could. Maybe it had to do with the fact, that he reminded him so much of Jesse? Or maybe it was that Mundo needed him. Mundo had had no "Real" father figure to love him, encourage him, guide him, mold him into becoming a "real" man one day, instead of a look-a-like. Benjamin had known two such fathers, both that loved him and did for him. Jake and Quincy. On top of them, he also had his grandfather. Mundo hadn't even had a grandfather there for him. So when it came to Benjamin, with all vacancies filled, far as he could see, there was no room for him in that equation. Again, Mundo had had no such blessings and Shawn was compelled - overwhelmed with a need to fill that void in his life. He wasn't feeling that need as far as Benjamin was concerned, even if he were his actual son. There was also the fact that his mother, Christine, had betrayed him. Not that it was Benjamin's fault, far from it - however he felt nothing within him for anything that she contributed in his life, other than humiliation and pain. Had he known about Benjamin before he left, that would have been a different story. Right now, his innards were affected, moved, squeezed, inspired and motivated by Sylvia McPherson. He was affected by her children, because they were apart of her. He carried within him some strange and driven sense of reasoning that her children should have been his, just as he felt that she should have always been his. Where in that, was there space for Benjamin? Perhaps, his own flesh and blood son.