BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  He loved Jesse because he was the midway point…the equalizer, the balance.

  He wasn't holier-than-thou in righteousness, as his father was, yet…he wasn't the devil either. At the time, they both agreed to a lifestyle that made ends not only meet, but overlap into many evenings of good times, parties, and freedom! They were free. Together, they'd done it all! Nice clothes, women galore, nice cars, decked out crib—the life! With Jesse being the one who stated what and where their limitations were. Shawn was happy for that, because of the way he sometimes felt, he might have gotten into everything there was to sample. He'd been that out of it. In fact, he figured had it not been for Jesse James, he would have no doubt gotten into some things that might have eventually killed him, drugs in particular. Jesse wouldn't have it. Weed every now and then, but that was it. Jesse put his foot down, and Shawn allowed it because he looked up to him, he'd needed a stabilizing influence then, and Jesse had been just that, despite the porn activity. There had been something about him that was immediate between them. They clicked and synced as if they'd been true brothers separated at some point in the past, to be brought back together just when Shawn needed him most.

  He remembered when Jesse started taking him into the hood…the first and last time his right to be there was challenged. What Jesse hadn't known, what they hadn't known, was that Shawn was a fighter. Raised to be so by his father. Never had he imagined that it would come in handy in the way that it had, a way that he least expected it. Something that had eventually become abundantly clear, and that was that his father had saved his life. Because of the things he put him through, it prepared him for the days, nights, and life in L.A.

  He remembered it like it was yesterday.

  Jye Mann, buffed, fit, muscled down, tattooed up, black and angry, had gotten right into his face.

  Back to LA with Jesse...

  "Man, what the fuck you doin' here?" Their noses had actually touched.

  "Man, what the hell! Get yo'ass up out his face! He wit'me, goddammit! So back—the fuck up!" Jesse stood beside him, pushing Jye back.

  He'd been the only white guy in the pool hall off of Crenshaw. It was afternoon, and he'd just been introduced to Ezekiel Brown, whom he'd later come to name, King Louie. When the pool hall began to fill, Jye, with his crew, walked in to see the then young Shawn there.

  "He wit'you? What the fuck you hangin' wit' this white boy for? Bringin' his ass up in here!" Jye demanded.

  "Jye! Mothafucka, you don't run shit here! I do, mothafucka! If I say he can stay, he can stay!" this from Ezekiel as he sat on his throne.

  "Fuckin' white boy! Better stay yo'ass out my way! I know that shit!"

  "What's your problem with me? What have I done to you?" Shawn asked.

  "Eh, listen here, boy, don't talk t'me, understand? Don't say shit to me!" Jye warned, looking away from Shawn to Ezekiel. "Man, I'on know what yo'problem is! This our goddamn place! Let his white-ass go somewhere else to play pool! Piece o'shit cracka!"

  "I brought'im in here, shit! Me! Got something to say, say it t'me!" Jesse stood before Shawn. "Come up in here hatin' on him like he responsible for your sorry-ass life!"

  "Oh, sorry, I offen' yo'lil white boy? You mus' be fuckin' him up the ass—"

  "Eh, eh, eh!" Ezekiel had to climb down from his throne, and he hated having to do that. With his steel bat in hand, he walked up between Jesse and Jye. "I ain'gone have that shit in here! You'on like what you see, Jye? Step yo'ass on up outta here, then! Ezekiel bellowed. He knew Jesse and he knew Jye.

  "I ain' goin' no-goddamn-where! Tell that mothafucka that!"

  "Why can't I be here?" Shawn asked calmly.

  Ezekiel and Jesse moved aside, looking at him as he confronted Jye directly.

  "Why the fuck you think? You never watch Sesame Street, white boy? You know the song, don'tcha? 'One of these things just doesn't belong here, most of these things are kinda of the same…' Some of the onlookers started laughing out, calling from across the pool hall, "Jye, man, leave that white boy alone."

  "Fuck him! Get yo'ass outta here and find you some white boys to play with…down by the beach, surfin'n shit!"

  "I can't surf—I wanna be here," Shawn returned.

  "Well, we don't want yo'ass here!" Jye stepped up to him again, with Ezekiel and Jesse standing there as well. Jesse stood quiet, watching Shawn, just to see what he was made of.

  "Why?" Shawn asked.

  "Why? Why the hell you think?" Jye spat back.

  "'Cause I'm white?"

  "Yeah, mothafucka, cause you white! Goddammit, my ass can't get shit, can't go places 'cause I'm black! What goes around, comes a-goddamn-round!"

  "I'm sorry about that. But this is where I wanna be."

  Jye scrunched up his face, looking at him like he was crazy. "Why? Ain't shit here! Bunch a broke-ass, hustlin' niggas! Ain't got no job!"

  "Speak for your damn self!" someone called out, with others agreeing.

  "It's where I wanna be," Shawn maintained.

  Jye stared at him.

  "Come on, man, leave'im alone!" Jye's friend called out. "I came to play some pool; later for that shit!"

  Jye stared Shawn down a few minutes more. "This where you wanna be, huh?" he muttered low.

  "Yeah, it is," Shawn muttered back.

  Jye sniffed and blew from his nose as if he smelled something foul, but backed away. That had been the first confrontation. Jesse had been proud, patting him on the shoulder as he went on to teach Shawn how to play pool. Shawn loved the game, having never played it before at home. He'd never had the time. He'd driven Jesse crazy because every free opportunity they had, Shawn would say, "Let's go play pool!" He asked it so much that Jesse took to teasing him. On the verge of asking Shawn would he wanted to do, he would grin, and before Shawn said a word, Jesse would mimic him, sounding like a white boy. "Let's go play pool!" Making Shawn laugh out. "I don't sound like that!"

  "Damn near!"

  "I guess I need to start talking like you, then!" And gave it his first try. "Damn that shit, mothafucka!"

  Jesse rolled and danced, he was laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. "Ah, hell naw, say that shit again!" And Shawn did, making Jesse laugh and work with him, teaching him how to talk "black". Shaking his head, often saying, "Boy, you know yo'ass is crazy! I don't know what the hell I'mo do wit' you! Smart ass! You watch that Jye! You heah'me?"

  "Yep, I heah'ya!"

  "I ain't playin', now! I can't watch your back all the goddamn time! Can you fight? Can you mix it?"

  "Yeah."

  "You can fight?"

  "Yep," Shawn answered.

  Jesse stood and stared at him a bit, then said, "I hope to damn sho' you can. 'Cause you may have to. Especially if you gone be following me in and out of there."

  "I can take care of myself, Jesse."

  "It ain't so much that, Shawn, as it is proving you belong! Fighting for your right to be here, without causing irreparable damage to the very people you wanna hang with! There's a fine, delicate balance! And either you got what it takes or you don't. You wanna come and go as you please? You gotta make a name for here yourself! You gotta mark your spot, and say, 'Goddammit, I'm in the house, and I ain't goin' nowhere, mothafucka's!' You got to step up to the plate, dick first, balls in hand, like every-goddamn-body else! Shit! You gotta make them respect you, without exacting they dignity! You gotta honor them, and make them honor you! And that ain't easy for a white boy to do."

  "Maybe not, Jesse, but this one white boy that's gonna do it!" Shawn declared and meant every word.

  Chapter 203

  Second Confrontation

  The jab from the thick-handled end of the pool stick had struck so hard, it had taken Shawn's breath away. They were at their favorite place, yet again, and by now, Shawn had won the respect and admiration of a few others. Still not Jye, however.

  His back had been to him, standing and waiting for Jesse to make a shot, when he'd felt the hard jab from behind—a well-placed
kidney shot. The pain caused an immediate reaction, with a reflexive arch of his back as Shawn had leapt aside, letting out a shout, turning as if he were under attack.

  Jye stood from the other table where he was bent over, as if it had been an accident.

  "Get the fuck out the way, white boy! Next time, might find it up yo'ass!"

  "Man, what is your problem?" Shawn had shouted.

  "You, mothafucka'! That's my problem! Who the fuck you yellin' at, bitch!" Jye asked, walking up on Shawn, clearly wishing to fight.

  "You know what, Jye, you might as well get used to me. I'm not going anywhere, and you don't scare me."

  "Wooo!" sounded off around the pool hall. Everyone was giving them their full attention.

  "Don't get thowed out! I keep tellin' yo'ass! I ain't gone have that shit up in here," Ezekiel warned, getting his steel bat in hand.

  "Yeah, talkin' all brave here with Jesse and Ezekiel at your back; meet me somewhere and talk that shit!"

  "Why does it have to be this way? This is the ‘80's, man! Things have changed, what is this all about?" Shawn asked, not wanting to fight with Jye.

  "Changed? For who? Ain't shit changed for me! Better get the hell up outta my face talkin' that dead shit, selling them woof tickets!"

  "Tell me what I have to do to get us past this, Jye?"

  "Stay the fuck out my way! That's what! Go the fuck where you belong!"

  "I feel like I belong here, Jye, right here! You're not gonna chase me away. So, tell me, I gotta meet some kind of challenge to get you to let me come and go as I please? That what it takes? Because I don't wanna fight you."

  "Punk ass!" Jye stared Shawn up and down with disdain. "I don't wanna fight you," he mimicked him, using the voice of a little boy.

  Jesse, once again, stood by watching, saying nothing more, letting Shawn stand for himself.

  "Eh, Jye, man…you see the boy don't wanna fight, leave'im alone!" again, this from an onlooker. Then another suggested, "Why don't you all play something to settle it, instead of fighting all the time? Negroes, why can't we rise above? We need to focus on a more civilized society! I find the violence all rather stressful, to be perfectly honest," someone spoke as if he were white, mocking, "Can't we do something, like a game of pool or something? Channeling our energies to things more positive? Shit!"

  Everyone started laughing hard, slapping hands in the air.

  Shawn sighed. "I'm not very good at pool, not yet," he admitted, ignoring the joke at his expense.

  "Aaah, too damn bad!" Jye taunted, then got an idea. "I'll tell you what, you get two choices. You can't play pool yet, white boy? Then beat me in a game of B-ball…or you can try and beat my ass! Which one?"

  Shawn stood a moment, staring. He knew that Jye was good in basketball, after all, he and Jesse had sat and watched a few games. Shawn had watched so that he'd studied him carefully; he knew Jye's moves.

  "Well, white boy, what's it gone be?"

  "Okay, B-ball."

  Everyone crowed and laughed, slapping their hands in high fives.

  "Let's go, boy!"

  There was a nice size crowd around with the two facing off one to one. Jesse of course was present, no Ezekiel about this time. Jesse held the basketball, tossed it up between them, and to everyone's surprise, Shawn jumped for it, stole it and in a blink of an eye, made the first basket. The crowd went mad. Shawn smiled. Jye's eyes narrowed. It was apparent he could actually play the game, and Jye had a feeling, he might be good as he passed him the ball. There were too many around watching as the game progressed for Jye to let him show him up. They both were making scores almost evenly matched, Shawn was at Jye's back, playing defensively when all of a sudden, Jye ducked, swerved, aimed with a powerful elbow and caught Shawn just so, right in the face. A blow so hard and direct, it broke his nose.

  Shawn staggered back, dizzy with the pain. Blood rushed forward from his nose.

  "Oh shit! That's fucked up white boy! Nose got in the damn way!"

  With grinding teeth, Jesse walked up, "Motha'fucka' what the hell wrong wit' you?!"

  Jye smiled.

  Shawn was bent over, hands braced on his knees. He needed to stand up and back, the ground was swimming before him. The last thing he wanted to do, was drop to his knees. He needed the wave of throbbing pain and dizziness to pass. He turned and spit, blood was running down the back of his throat, making him nauseated. He lifted one hand to ward off Jesse. He spit a second time, inhaled with his mouth, gulped, steadied himself and faced Jye, wiping the blood that ran from his nose. His eyes were filled with tears. While he hadn't expected it, pain of this magnitude was not new to him. He knew it well. It was punishing because he hadn't expected it. He felt there was no one to blame but himself. He knew better than to let his guard down when facing a foe. How many times had his father caught him just that way. Scolded him. Shouted in his face. Not to let his guard down, not ever. The pain was a valuable lesson. Yet and still, he was - where he wanted to be. Whether Jye liked him or not, he didn't wish him to be a foe. He wanted him as a friend, and for that, he had to earn the place.

  He looked Jye right in his eyes, not a glare; he gave him a different kind of look. One that stunned Jye. One that should have made him feel ashamed of himself. Jye played it off, "Done yet white boy?"

  Shawn took a deep breath, ignoring the throbbing in his face, "Nope, I'm still gone beat you Jye. See I'm so damn good, I'm gone beat you with a broken nose. 'Cause I belong here Jye, and you're not gonna chase me away. I'm here to stay." Shawn backed up and with his hand, palm up, he waved his fingers in a gesture of, 'Come on.' Jye stood a moment holding the basketball staring in disbelief. He knew that he had to be hurting.

  "Come on Jye! Let's play! You got the ball. Don't mind me, this pain here - this ain't shit. I been through worse, believe me. Let's play."

  Hearing that gave quite a few an uncomfortable feeling. It was the combination of blood on his face, tears in his eyes and willingness to go on despite the agony he must be feeling. "Hey man, drop it! Jye man, leave'im alone man. White boy ain't doing no harm, leave'im man!"

  Shawn didn't want their pity, he walked up, took the ball and started dribbling it again, "Come on Jye, ignore them ... let's play." Shawn bounced the ball back and forth, side to side, between his legs, using his forearm to wipe away running blood from his upper lip, nose still dripping it - even so, the ball went back to front, front to back, showing that he was ready to play.

  Jye didn't want to play. He'd broken his nose, he was bleeding and if he won on top of that; and something told him, he would - it would be too much.

  "Gimme the ball man and go somewhere and get yo'shit seen after!" Jye waved him off.

  "No! I wanna play! I want this over between us. I wanna be here Jye. I wanna be right here where I am. I wanna come and go as I please. Right here with you and the rest. I want you to remember me Jye. I want you to look up and see me coming. And I want you to smile, shake your head and say, "Crazy motha'fucka! Wha's up man!" - that's what I want Jye! Now let's play."

  Those surrounding looked at him as if he were crazy. Yet, to them, he was already in. Someone took off their threadbare t-shirt and handed it to Shawn, "Wipe your face man, clean up that blood. Hold your head back a minute." Shawn wiped up the blood, nodding his thanks, then looked back to Jye, "I'll be ready in a minute Jye." He announced.

  "I'm done playin' wit'you boy!" Jye waved him off.

  "You said two choices earlier. B-ball, or beat your ass! Now if you not willin' to play B-Ball - well then, its gonna have to be the other." Shawn boldly stated, he was having to breath from his mouth now, his nose was swelling.

  "WHO-O-O-OA!!!" The crowd came in closer. They couldn't believe their ears. Slapping high fives. Some where incredulous, others felt sorry for him, imagining scooping him up from the tarmac.

  Jesse turned to Shawn, "Not now. Leave it alone. You already hurt!" His hand on Shawn's shoulder, he tried to make him give it up for now.

  Shawn
twisted away from him. "No! Here - now! Jye? You ever wrestle? You're big and strong, how about we wrestle? You pin me, you'll never see my face again. I pin you, you welcome me with open arms. And I want you to name me Jye, just like I'm part of the family. You gonna give me my name and you know what else? I want you to greet me like the French greet each other, a kiss to one cheek, then the other."