"Why I always gotta be wrong? I'm not wrong! He…he didn't even give me a chance." She sniffed again. "I didn't mean what I said, Jake…God, I didn't mean it." She sank into the chair, silently crying, wiping at her tears, afraid for tomorrow to come.
* * *
Wisconsin...
The door remained locked.
Sylvia would not come out.
Having not a clue of what took place; Shawn looked to Isaac, no answer coming, he had suddenly become shy and wouldn't tell him, he would only shrug. Shawn had to learn about it following Mundo's burst of laughter outside in the front yard. He marched out the front door, looked at him laying on the porch, out of control with hysterical laughter and demanded, looking at his crying sister, "Crystal! I wanna know, what happened? Why is your mother locked away in that bedroom and won't let me in?"
It took her all of ten minutes to tell him, because she kept re-erupting into laughter. Once he had the full story, he groaned, feeling like he was always in trouble with his wife about something; this conclusion he drew while sitting on the porch next to Mundo, who was still fitting.
"Would you stop! I know she can hear you out here. I'm gonna catch hell for this, I just know it. It always comes back to me, back to my fault." Shawn moaned sitting there trying to figure out what to do.
Mundo was taking several needed breaths, wiping his hands over his face, the tears from his glazed over eyes, sniffing as he sat up next to Shawn, and started going again.
"Mundo!" Shawn barked low.
"I'm tryin' - I'm tryin'. Oh man, that's - that's - oh man ... mama - mama ain't never - ever ever - comin' out that room. I can tell you that now."
Crystal was sitting on the porch, Angela walked out holding the boys hands. Darren went straight to his mother's lap, and Isaac sat next to Shawn. "You mad at me?" He asked.
Shawn looked down at him, "Nooo, are you kidding. C'mere, why would your grandpa be mad at you?" He picked him up and placed him on his lap.
"Grandma's mad at me."
"No, grandma's not mad at you either."
Isaac sat leaning against Shawn's chest, swinging his leg contentedly, "So that wasn't grandma gettin' a baby?"
Mundo launched off the porch running across the road to where they were working on Shawn's studio, about to shut it down for the day. He needed a distraction to get that image out of his head or he wouldn't be able to stop laughing.
Shawn sighed.
Angela was sitting next to Crystal, who still refused to run to their rescue with her son, she was enjoying it too much, better them than her.
Shawn looked at his daughter sitting next to him, watching him, and then down at Crystal and Darren, at Mundo across the road, and then down at Isaac on his lap. He smiled. His family, and yes - what happened is what happens when a family has little ones. He chuckled because there was nothing else he could do. He was the father, the head, so he thought he better at least try and explain, but wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, Angela had never put him on the spot this way.
"Isaac, when your mama hugs you really really tight, like this..." And he hugged him, then made the sound, *Emmm em - em em em* as he hugged him, "Know why she makes that sound when she hugs you?"
"I don' know ... but she do. She squeeze real tight an' go, emmm em!"
"Well I know; she makes that sound, because if feels sooo good to squeeze you, hug you; because she loves you. In fact, when I just hugged you right then, I felt it too - it felt so good to hug you, because I love you. Sometimes, people feel something so strong, that it comes out like that sound right then."
"Oh, so somebody hug gran'ma?"
"Yes, I hug grandma. At night, when all is dark and quiet, I love her so much, I need to hug her, and she needs to hug me back, because she loves me so much. We end up feeling so good about it that we make that noise."
Isaac sat a moment in thought to that, tilted his head back and looked up at Shawn and said, "Gran'ma sound diffren' when she hug you. When she hug me, she say, emmm em, when she hug you, she sound diffren'."
Shawn stared down at him.
Crystal's body started a subtle quaking, as she looked off into the distance, trying not to explode again.
Angela was starting to grin again, considering that her father was stumped, turning a bit red as he stared down at Isaac. Who turned his head sideways, smiled and asked, "How come she soun' like that when she hug you? Huh? Huh gran'papah-Shawn?"
Shawn knew that right then, he must be looking like an idiot, but he couldn't think. Plus, Crystal was laughing again, slight little bursts that made Darren look up and back at her. "Laughin' mama? Wha'you laughin' mama?" He asked her.
Shawn inhaled deep and blew it out. Isaac was waiting for an answer.
"Well dad?" Angela couldn't resist.
"Shush!" He bit out, looking grumpy.
Angela was now laughing, "Dad, come on, tell us... why does Sylvia make different noises from the hug noises."
He cut her a look through narrowed eyes that sent Crystal off the porch setting Darren down.
Angela slid over grinning with her arms out to take up Darren.
Isaac reached up, softly patting Shawn's cheeks, leaning to look into his eyes, "Tell me. You don' know why gran'ma make, diffren' noise when she hug you? Do you give her the baby then?"
Unable to take anymore, Shawn went with it, "Yes - I gave gran'ma the baby. Those noises are different, because they are baby making noises, and only a husband and a wife makes those noises because they have something special because they're married, so they sound different." He answered, holding his breath, praying that his little mind didn't come up with another question.
"Oh." Isaac murmured still looking up into Shawn's face. Shawn was praying now, scared to death that as he stared, he wasn't formulating more questions. "Okay. Can I go play now?"
"Yes yes! Go play! You and Darren, that's a good idea." Isaac jumped off of his lap to grab Darren's hand pulling him from Angela's lap. She was grinning looking at her father. Shawn's eyes were narrowed at her, "That was mean." He pointed out gently.
"How? What did I do? He wanted to know." She responded innocently, unable to stifle more chuckles.
Shawn was blushing, taking a steadying breath, he decided to ask, "Uh, can you - have you ever - you know - heard us?"
"Yeah, lots of times. You guys are always having sex." She answered straight forward, enjoying his discomfort.
Shawn sat covering his face, not sure what to say. Taking mercy on him, Angela sat next to him, put her arms around him, and said, "Dad, I know about sex. Everybody does it."
Shawn's face shot up and looked at her, "Not you!"
"Of course not dad, not yet anyway."
"You're damn right not yet! Somewhere in your twenties when you're married is soon enough."
Angela smiled, with her arm still across her father's back. She loved him, no one in the world was as important as he was to her. He was her hero, bar none. "I love you dad. I love Sylvia too. And I'm so happy, because you're so happy. I'm gland that you have Sylvia to take care of you. You can't go on just being my dad, you need someone too, so when I grow up, get married and move out, you won't be alone. I wouldn't want you to be alone. Even though I'll always come home, a lot to see about you - you still need someone with you." She smiled, patting his back.
Shawn turned pulling her onto his lap, and hugged her tight, making a loud hugging noise, and then tickling her too, making her laugh out loud. Isaac and Darren heard her infectious laughter and wanted the same and came for theirs. Shawn was in his element, he loved this and he delivered. The three youngest in the family were loud in their tickled glee, with Crystal standing by with a smile on her face, listening to her sons giggles and out of control laughter; Angela included, helping her dad tickle them. Feeling for the first time, truly in a setting that was home.
They had a mission, to bring mom out of the room.
First plan of action, dinner. Shawn knew, under the circumstances, he wo
uld have to get that underway this night, and because Crystal left them at the mercy of her child, he insisted that she help him cook. Guilty of the crime, she pitched in helping Shawn prepare their mother's absolute favorite; Chinese take out. Preparation; pick up phone - dial number - order. Making sure that the order included all of Sylvia's favorites. He also decided that getting Sylvia out of the room, was in her hands as well - once again, it was her little gremlin that put her there. Crystal of course without hesitation, took on the assignment and started right away on first, prepping the catalyst of the entire fiasco, her son.
While in the midst of doing this, Benjamin returned.
What he returned to was a drill rehearsal on what Isaac had to say once they managed to get Sylvia out of the bedroom. In the dark, curious he asked, "Why is Sylvia hiding away in the bedroom?"
Shawn thought the agony of it would never end, especially since Mundo kept having mini eruptions of the event. No matter how his life was threatened, a snicker would force it's way out. Such as in the case of them having little choice but to tell Benjamin what was going on. Shawn left it to Crystal to do so. He went back in the office with a warning to Ben, "You dare laugh out loud, invitation to dinner will be revoked." Just hearing that part put a grin on his face. Feeling that he'd blushed enough for the day, Shawn left Crystal to explaining.
At the completion of it, Benjamin's eyes were big, biting into his bottom lip, clearly trying to hold in the laughter. Mundo had to be excused again, making his way outside and far enough away so that his mirth not carry to his mother.
Realizing the predicament they were in, Benjamin took a deep breath and volunteered to assist, "If he can learn his lines, I can get her out of that room. At least I think I can, I can try." He assured Crystal, who, talking low, made Isaac repeat once again what he was to say to his grandma when she came out. As a suggestion, he thought that someone should buy her flowers. Tapping on the office door, it swung slightly open, "Shawn, I think I can get Sylvia out of the room." Benjamin whispered, "But we're going to need flowers."
"Good idea, I'm gonna keep working here, can one of you run and buy some?" He reached in his back pocket for his wallet, "Roses & wild flowers, a great big mix of them, make sure there's some purple in the arrangement. Make sure they're fresh, bursting with color and fully scented. Great idea." Shawn passed the money to Crystal.
Mundo, doing his part, kept Isaac and Darren, making Isaac repeat his lines. He was overjoyed that he had a mission to get his grandma back with the other family and so, did as his laughing Uncle rehearsed him to do; enjoying every moment of it as well.
Benjamin took the lead saying, "I'll take you to the store." This to Crystal. With Angela in hearing crying out, "Oh, can I go?"
"Sure can, let's get it done!" Benjamin smiled, deriving a sense of being for doing his part. In the car, on the way to the store, he asked Crystal, "Feeling better now, from earlier?"
She sighed, looked up at him smiling, "Yes. I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
"No reason to apologize; I'm just glad to see you back to smiling."
"I have little choice, I have two sons to take care of, and I'm surrounded by family who all love me. I'll be okay."
"Damn right you will and I'm glad to hear it. Just so you understand my feelings on the matter, I think he's a complete idiot."
Angela sat in the back seat looking from Benjamin to Crystal as they talked.
"In all fairness, I helped to put us where we are. Its not all his fault. So-o-o, considering that and that he is the father of my sons, could you not - well - knock him."
Benjamin sighed, did a sideways glance at her and back to the road, "You still in love with him then?"
"Absolutely. I don't know of any way to fix this overnight, or even in a few days. I really loved him, still - love him."
Benjamin wasn't sure why hearing her say that made him feel uncomfortable, he had Gail after all. She was good to him, yes in love with him, would do almost anything for him. They'd been together for two years now; therefore, hearing Crystal declare her love for her husband shouldn't affect him one way or another, yet - "How about we get off of that subject, you were laughing and smiling just a moment ago, let's keep with that, okay?"
Crystal gave him a sideways glance, nodded and smiled.
"You staying for dinner Benjamin?" Angela asked.
"If its all right with you guys?"
"Fine by me." Angela immediately assured him.
"Since you're helping me cleanup the mess my Isaac made, the least we could do is feed you." Crystal simpered.
"I sure hope you ordered plenty of the Chinese, I happen to love the stuff."
"Believe me, that house is full of big eaters, I ordered plenty." Crystal replied.
"Especially my dad! He eats a lot; but he works out a lot too. You know what, you look just like my dad."
Benjamin smiled, "Well so do you. You think I do?"
"Yeah you do." Crystal inserted, "A great deal like him."
"Em hm, lots like him." Angela tagged on.
Benjamin nodded. "Uh, you know - he and my mom, dated a long time ago. Before he left to live in California."
Angela looked at him realizing what he was saying. "You mean, my dad's your dad?"
Benjamin blushed because while he knew he should keep it to himself, he couldn't. He wanted to be apart of this family. He wanted them to know what was going on. He wanted to test the waters, to see if they would let him in. He needed them to know that he was there, and maybe - it was where he belonged. "Would you mind it if he were?" He asked, looking at Angela through the rear-view mirror.
"No! I wouldn't mind it at all! That would be so totally cool! That means that I have another brother! An older brother even than Mundo. That would be totally excellent! So is he?" She asked excited by the prospect, collecting siblings from wherever they might come.
Benjamin smiled, elated by her response. "If you two would please, keep this to yourselves, its a secret; I really shouldn't have said anything, but - I couldn't help myself. Shawn and I went this morning to get DNA tested. We'll know for sure if I am or not in a week or so."
"Oh let's pray you are! I want as many brother's and sisters as I can get! I hated being the only one. Now, I won't have to be. I have Crystal, Mundo, baby Jesse James on the way, and now, you! Oh I sure hope that he is! That would be so totally fantastic!" Angela couldn't help but think of Sasha having so many brothers above her, she wanted to be that way as well, but she would have it better, because she had an older sister, they were much better to have in her opinion and as far as she was concerned, she had the best ever, Crystal. "So we'll know in a week or so? Oh - if you are, we'll have to throw you a big welcome to the family party! Huh Crystal? Wouldn't that be good, if he were, so we could throw him a party?!"
Crystal smiled, looking at Benjamin, she nodded, "Yes, I think that would be a good idea. Let's hope that it turns out that he is, your father. Is, that what you want; him to be your father?"
"I just want to know for sure, you know. I grew up getting slammed by gossip, hearsay and people swearing that Jake wasn't my father, that Shawn was. It has always been on my mind, you know."
"That must have been awful to go through." Crystal sympathized with him.
"Believe me, it was hell. I was always in a fight with someone about it."
"Doesn't your mom know that he's your father?" Angela asked, still innocent of things such as that.
Benjamin took a moment to answer, Crystal noticed that there was obvious conflict there. "You don't have to answer that; Angela, we shouldn't be prying that way."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it." She apologized immediately.
"No, its okay. You see, I've just returned from moving out of my mother's house. I have stuff in the trunk and some that I took to grandma Gert's. I can't deal with my mother anymore, because she's been lying to me for as long as I can remember. Fact is, she dated Jake and my dad at the same time. Actually, she was dating
your dad Angela, and then she went out with Jake, so - that's the reason I need the test, to see for certain who really is my father."
"Ohhh, I see. My dad and Uncle Jake used to fight a lot when they were growing up. I don't understand that. I never want to fight with my brothers and sister. I've wanted them for so long, I just want us to always be like we are. Right Crystal?"
Crystal reached back and squeezed Angela's hand, "Right. We're the best of sisters, aren't we?"
Angela nodded with eyes full of admiration for her.
Turning back to Benjamin, Crystal had to ask, "Does Jake know about this? That you're getting the test?"
Benjamin shook his head, then answered, "No, I uh, don't really want him to know. I love him and he's been as good a father to me as he could be. I just need to know for myself, know what I mean?"
"Of course I know what you mean. I would probably feel the same way. You just have to be careful, if it turns out that Shawn is your father, Jake might be hurt over it. In fact, if I were you, I'd tell him. Let him know what you're doing, don't let him find out the wrong way."
Benjamin exhaled the immediate nervous tension from his stomach, "Yeah, I think you're right, I've thought about that, time and time again, I really hope it doesn't t'em off. However, this mess is not my doing. I have a right to know who my father is; the whole family has like, grouped up to keep it a big secret, all except my aunt, Kathy Ann; she's said as much that I was Shawn's."
"No matter, if it should turn out that you are, you'll be more than welcome into the family. Shucks, doesn't matter what the test says, you're a McPherson, that makes you family anyway. You certainly belong more so than my brother and I."
"Crystal don't say that! You two are my sister and brother! My dad said so! If you feel that you two don't belong, then that means I don't belong to you and your mom!" Angela fussed resentfully.
Crystal turned around stunned at her absolute unwavering passion, devotion and love for them. "Ah honey, I didn't mean it that way."
"Then don't say it then! Doesn't matter how you meant it, we're a family! We all belong to each other!" Angela felt it so strongly, her eyes were moist and she looked hurt.
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