Crystal reached back and caressed her cheek, "I'm sorry. Forgive me, you're right. We all belong." Crystal smiled and turned her head to look at Benjamin, "And we're just glad to have you with us." Crystal informed him, reaching over to him next, squeezing his shoulder, stroking across his broad back above the seat. Within an instant, she realized that there was a bit of difference in touching Angela and then touching him. She felt a weird sensation come alive in her hand that went right up her arm. Nervously she took her hand away, clearing her throat, feeling a bit awkward, if not stunned by the sensation.
Benjamin glanced at her as well, the second she put her hand on him, he felt a literal transfer of some strange energy that had the spot gently tingling, even now after she moved her hand away. They were at the light. This gave him a moment to really look at her. The gesture made her even more nervous, she looked up, smiled coyly and back down again, her behavior was of someone unsure of herself, as if new to a man really looking at her, there was a strange innocence about her. He found the quality endearing, attractive.
"Lights green!" Angela informed him.
He snapped to and pulled off again.
"So uh, how long did you know your husband, Victor?" He found himself asking.
"We met in college. I was a freshman, he was a Junior."
"Love at first sight?" He asked smiling.
"Nooo, not really. Attraction, yes - I don't know. Didn't have much experience, I'd never dated before him, so he pretty much swept me off my feet."
Benjamin's head twisted around to look at her strangely, "You never dated before Victor? No one, ever?"
"No way, my mother watched us like a hawk. She never allowed me to see boys, date. Not my mom. So when I went off to college, which - by the way, she didn't want me to go off to, but I convinced her that I would be okay. She trusted me, and off I went." She sighed long and dramatic, then smiled up at him, a bit embarrassed to admit. "I was pregnant with Isaac in no time flat, and married to Victor."
"I see, so - whose idea was it to marry?"
"His. He wanted to get married and I was in love, I wanted it too. Hard as it is to admit, I - I wasn't ready for the challenge of marriage."
"Well of course you weren't, too young. Never dated, fell in love and married your first, is it any wonder?" He imparted.
Crystal smiled, shrugged, "I don't believe in playing -"the field"." She made two air quotation marks with her fingers. "My mother didn't raise me to, well - sleep all over the place. I gave myself to him, because I loved him. I thought I was ready. Anyway, we married and I took everything way too seriously. I was not willing to accept failure of any kind, nor could I stand any criticism." She stopped, then looked up at Benjamin, who was patiently listening, waiting for her to go on. "I ah, got into a really bad habit of - well - hitting him. Attacking him."
"You?! I can't imagine you that way."
"Oh, she's not kidding! Crystal has a temper! Oh, yeah, we're like that, we don't take no shit!" Angela bragged.
"Angela!" Crystal gasped, turning in her seat to look back at her. "Ach!" Came out next, she was so shocked, even so, she started laughing.
Benjamin erupted into a shout of laughter that filled the car, reminding them both of Shawn.
"Well, we don't. It's true." Angela sank back with doleful eyes at her.
Shaking her head, Crystal calmed her laughter and lightly reprimanded her, "It's not right to hit, Angela. Only in self-defense should you strike out at someone. Don't be like me. I would give anything to turn back the hands of time, not to have done that to him. Now, we're getting a divorce, and it's my fault. My boys are going to be without their father most of the time; because of me, they too have to suffer."
"I think you're being a little hard on yourself. After all, we both pretty much agree, you were too young and not ready yet. True, no man wants to face being hit by the one they love, but - did he ever try to find out why? What was making you so angry that you struck out? As your husband, he should have been doing that."
"Look Benjamin, he tried. I just - I don't wanna talk about that anymore. I just wanna get myself together. Shawn and I are going to anger management every Wednesday night; and I've been taking some health supplements my mother bought me, and I must say, I'm a bit more relaxed than I used to be, if that is, you don't take this morning into consideration." She smiled. "I was hurting and I don't know, I needed the cry I guess. Now that its out of my system, I'm not so keyed up as before. And the supplements, I haven't been on them long, but mama says, that if I stay on them, don't miss a day, it will have a more calming influence. Everything takes time, right?"
"Yes, it does." He agreed and turned to look at her. He looked right into her beautiful eyes. Deep into her eyes, unable to resist he spoke his mind, "All I wanna say is this, and then I'll leave off from this discussion. When its time to get serious and a man marries, nothing is more important than getting to know his wife and using what he knows to make things work for them. Quincy, my step-dad, stayed with my mother through a lot o'mess. He knows her though and through, knows how to deal with her; because he loves her. When you marry, that's the time to fight with all your might to make it work. Look at my grandma and grandpa, Bart and Gert. I love them man! My grandpa, I'll do anything for that man! When I get married, when its time for me to settle down, I'm going to be like him. Family first. My wife, will come before anyone, or anything and I will protect her at all costs. That's the way my grandpa Bart is with my grandma. He puts up with a lot from her, but he'll fight like a Lion to keep her safe. He's always said that, a man, is a Lion of his keep - and no one should be allowed to bring harm to his mate. He's said it to me, to my brothers, and I know, to his sons; choose your mate carefully, because once you say those vows, it's for keeps, it's for good. Grandpa Bart says, "No divorce." If and when I make that move, that's the way its gonna be for me."
Crystal turned away from him, looking out of her passenger window with her heart slamming in her chest. Again she fought back tears, wishing that Victor had been that way. Shawn was that way, she realized about her mother, and here was his possible son…with the very same traits. With dread, Crystal had a feeling her life was on the verge of getting even more complicated, because already, her imagination was racing in a direction it had no right to.
"Crystal, you okay?" Angela asked.
"Yes, little sister, I'm just fine." She spoke softly. Deciding that she, for all intents and purposes, needed to keep her distance from Benjamin Caesar McPherson.
Chapter 207
In the office, Shawn sighed, ran his hand over his face and got back to work. He would wait for the kids to get back, give her up until then, but no longer. He'd just come down from upstairs at his bedroom door where his wife had locked herself away. Knocking softly he'd tried coaxing her out. "Honey..." He'd whispered softly, "... baby, come out sweetheart. It's not that bad, I explained. I've talked to him. Will you at least let me in?"
"No! I've been laughed at enough today! I heard you! I heard all of you laughing at me!"
"Not me! I wasn't! That was Mundo and Crystal!"
"Oh my god! I'm so embarrassed! If the baby heard! Then surely everyone else has heard! You stay away from me Shawn! Oh my god! How humiliating! I bet even Angela has heard us!"
Shawn didn't know where the chuckle erupted from, but it did and she heard it.
"I heard that Shawn Everett McPherson! You're laughing!"
"Shit!" Shawn muttered low, popping himself in the head. "Baby I was coughing."
"Stop lying Shawn, I know you! I know how you laugh. So what did Angela say?" She asked.
By the sound of her, she was at the door, talking to him through it. Shawn whimpered, "Baby, don't make me tell you. Its okay, honestly."
"What did she say Shawn!?"
Shawn leaned with his head pressed against the door, wondering should he lie to get her out.
"And don't you dare lie to me just to get me out of here either!" She warned as if reading his mind. "Wh
at did she say Shawn?"
"She said - she's heard us too, and that - well - "You guys are always having sex."
"Ach! Oh that is it! You are never touching me in this house ever again Mr. McPherson! That's it! Oh I can't believe it!"
"Honey, come on. We're married. You're pregnant. You don't think they know how that happened? What married people do?"
"But we don't have to go broadcasting it do we!?" She retorted.
"You're the one they heard!"
"Oh! I see, now it's my fault!" She slapped the door near to where his head lay, making him jerk back.
"Sylvia - baby! Okay, it's my fault! I'm the one to blame! I should be ashamed of myself for loving my wife. For being turned on by her. I'm the weak one. I admit it, I take the full brunt of this; okay? Now, will you please come out?"
"No."
"Will you at least let me in?"
"Hell no."
"Sylvia!"
"Go away from my door Shawn."
"Hey! I'm only going to take so much of this Sylvia Lucinda McPherson! Now as your husband, I demand - yes - demand, that you open this door right this minute, and let me in! Do you hear me?!"
"Yes I hear you and no, you're not getting in here."
"Don't make me kick it in! I will you know?"
"Oh yeah? Well you know what, I'll stand right in the way of it to make sure it hits me, and I hope I get hurt too, that'll serve you right! In other words, what's obvious to me, is husband number two, has stepped up to the plate to take his turn abusing me. Have at it then. Kick the door in, go right ahead, I dare you."
Shawn did a jerky tantrum with a whimper and then grew serious, "Sylvia! We're married! Married people have sex! Hopefully, good ol'sweaty, shout it out, oh baby, shit that's it, - damn good sex! And unless we move to a cave in the mountains, somebody's gonna hear it at some point, that's for damn sure; I guarantee it!"
"Not - anymore - they won't be!"
"Hey! Cut that out! I see now, I'm gonna have to leave you alone a bit, let you calm down. I don't wanna hear anything more about that, not anymore - business."
Now, there he was in the basement, trying to work, back and forth between grinning about his wife and her delicate nature. Obviously she was displaying signs that she harbored a secret shyness that caused her embarrassment when caught out over a thing like sex. He couldn't help but remember how mortified she was when he told the ol'timers and Frank about her running to him naked from bats and stuck in his back deck. Shaking his head, he went back to finishing another website. With everything on it's way to being caught up, there was no need for Sylvia to do them, or Benjamin for that matter. He would take care of it all, thanks to him helping him. Just as he was getting back into it, the phone rang. It was laying on his desk at the time, so he could answer it before anyone else could.
"McPherson's residence?"
"It's me, Jake."
"Jake? What's up? Where are you?"
"Chicago. Hey uh, I - I need your help Shawn."
"Why? What's going on?"
"I wanna finish what I started. The songs, remember?"
"Of course I do - did you finish that song, "Vivian"?"
"Yeah I finished it, and I'm sitting here working on another. What if I were to write a few, what steps do I need to take, to make them happen?"
"You first tell me little brother, what do you want to happen?"
There was hesitation, Shawn could hear him thinking, inhaling deep. He also heard him taking a drink, no doubt beer. "You okay Jake, anything going on?" Shawn asked, feeling a certain vibe over the line as if all were not right. "Where's Vivian, you at her place?"
"Naw... mine."
"Why's that then?"
Again, silence.
"Jake... what's going on?"
"I'm sick of - being - poor - white - trailer - trash. No one is ever going to fucking call me that again."
"You guys been fighting?"
"Yeah. She tossed me back the ring, told me to use it to buy myself a trailer." He sounded down, took another drink out of his beer, must have emptied it, Shawn could hear him crushing the can, then belching in his ear; Shawn took a really deep breath.
"What happened? If you don't mind me asking."
"Aaah, she - got pissed because I - well - tossed out a bunch of her shit clothes."
"You what? What do you mean, you tossed out her shit clothes?"
"Fuck it! She has clothing, I don't like her wearing! I got rid of'em while she was at work. She had a fit. I put my foot down and said some things. She stood giving me all that with the mouth - you know how it is."
Shawn wiped his hand over his face, slowly chuckling. "Jake, Jake, Jake - little brother, had it occurred to you, that maybe you should have discussed her not wearing them anymore, having it out with her that way; instead of actually doing it yourself... maybe?"
"I didn't feel like arguing about it. I just wanted them out of there."
"Well uh, seems to me, didn't quite work out that way."
"She threw my ring back at me. She doesn't love me man, who am I kidding."
"That doesn't mean shit - okay? So what, hang on to it, you'll be putting it back on her finger soon enough."
"Maybe I don't want to!"
"If that was the case, why'd you call me?"
"I called you about the music."
"So the "Vivian" song is out then?"
Jake went quiet again.
"Well?"
"The "Vivian" song stays."
"And the woman that inspired it?"
"She thinks I'm a lowlife."
"I don't believe that. She call you a lowlife?"
"Not in so many words, but she came close enough."
"She was angry. It happens. People get mad, say shit they don't mean. How long ago was this fight?"
"Two hours ago."
"Call her."
"Yeah yeah, she'd like that!"
"I bet she would." Shawn returned calmly. "Call her."
"Don't want to. Not yet. I'm always running back to her. I keep that up, she'll start believing that I can't live without her."
"I see, and so you're going to sit there, at your place, mope, drink - rather than fix things with her?"
"She thinks I'm a lowlife. Said I would reduce her to living like common trailer trash on what I make."
"Jake, listen to me. You can make for yourself, for her, anything you set your mind to. As for Vivian, in my eyes, there's nothing wrong with her wanting to continue on in the way that she's accustomed to living. I don't know what exactly provoked her into saying what she did, all I know is, that she loves you."
"She's too young for me, I said it from the start. Too good for me as well; I hate it when she wears the clothes she does. That's why I got rid of'em. She's gonna send me to an early grave." Jake muttered popping another beer tab. "Anyway, I'm writing right now."
"Another song?"
"Yeah."
"Okay; so uh, let's get back to what you want. What is that?"
"I think, I wanna - perform, my own stuff. Think I'm too old?"
"Hell no! Little brother, as you know, I know, we all know - you've got the shit man. Your voice, your looks - you've got the whole goddamn package! Do something with it. You're not too old. First step... get the songs written. Second step, I think - the music, which - requires a band. Synchronize the arrangement, record it until you've got something. Rehearse, until you can't rehearse anymore, and then hit the bars - test what you've got. Either direction it goes in, you have to get moving - you have to produce. I'll get it copyright protected for you, and I'll run this by my boss. He sings you see. Has a recording studio in fact. I tell you what, we need to focus on a demo tape. We put that together, and I'll take it to him. Let him have a listen - see what he thinks."
"If you can do that for me, I promise to have something ready ... that's all I wanted to know."
"You gonna call her?"
"No I'm not. Not tonight, I need to stick with what I'm feeling right
now, I'm getting a song written and I don't won't to break my flow. Thanks Shawn, talk to you later."
"Sure, later."
Shawn sat a moment, thinking about that. Thinking about Vivian - he needed to know for sure how she felt about his brother, because if she was having second thoughts, he didn't want to be encouraging Jake when it could lead to heart-break. Besides, if he were certain, he had a feeling she needed to hear from him right now.
He dialled her number.
"Hello?" She answered right away, "Sylvia?"
"Shawn, you okay?"
"Shawn! Nooo, we had a big fight. A really bad one." Vivian whimpered right away.
"I know. I just talked to him."
"What did he say? He's mad at me isn't he? Did he tell you what I said? I didn't mean it Shawn, I was just - oh - so mad at him. He's - so demanding Shawn. He's so, my way or no way! Did he tell you he tossed out some of my clothes? Some of them still had the tag on them, I'd never even worn them. So okay, maybe I over-reacted! Okay, I'm not perfect! But I work damn hard for everything I have. He could have at least discussed it with me. Given me a chance to decide to get rid of them. But no, he just goes through my stuff and starts bagging it up. He took them to a goodwill! A goodwill! I just lost it! Yes - maybe I went too far, said too much, hurt his feelings by what I said... but Shawn - I -..."
"Still love him?" He answered for her.
"I dooo - I dooo - and he hasn't called me! I - threw my ring at him. It's over."
"No it's not. Sylvia tried that with me, giving me her ring back. Look at us now. You just, be calm, and give him a moment to get his head right."
"I do love him Shawn, I do - but - I won't beg him. He's so used to women begging him, running after him. I won't be like them. He needs to learn that sometimes, he has to come to a compromise. I just want what's best for him, I want him to be the best that he could be."
"And he wants you, the way he wants you to be. So I suppose, those clothes of yours that he got rid of, clashed with his image of you. I guess that probably means, he wants you to be the best that you can be, he just has a forceful way of making his point."
BOMAW 7-9 Page 114
