BOMAW 7-9

by Mercedes Keyes

  She wanted Jake.

  Tall, overbearing, rough, over-sexed, insistent Jake who earned half of what she brought in. "What is it about him? I mean, I didn't know the man six months ago, and I was just fine. Why can't I just say, forget it?" She continued on talking to herself.

  "You okay lady?" The cabby asked, having heard a few of her murmurs, unable to discern what she'd been saying.

  "Forgive me, I'm just thinking out loud."

  "No problem." He answered.

  'It's those hands of his, I love his hands. The hands of a real man. Calloused, hard, un-manicured, thick fingers, big. Those eyes, they look into mine demanding to know what I'm thinking. It's the way he talks to me, its the way he listens, wants to know all the things about me, being black and embracing that. It's the way he grabs hold of me, holding on tight. How do I erase the way he kisses me, touches me, loves me? No reservation, no hesitation - yes, he is the ultimate incredible lover, in that, there is no selfishness in him - even now, knowing what he can do to me, I want him, I throb for him. He fills me, hurts me, yet - I wish to be filled again. Am I crazy? Oh god. I can't live without him.' She paused her thinking, 'I can live without him, I just - don't want to. I even love the way, that he stands up to me and won't give in. I love the way, he grips my soul from so deep within, that I can't breathe. I love - the way - he devours me, electrifies me. My god, I don't want to live without him, I don't want to.' Truth was, what he made her feel, money could not buy. She'd been right not to wear much make-up, because once again, the tears rolled.

  She arrived at work, thankful to be granted a slight blessing in that Dean, Stephanie and Janna weren't there yet to see her arrival. She was early and wasted no time going into her office to prepare a better face to show everyone. Succeeding, she was happy to see that to all those who might see her, she looked physically normal. She was behind her desk working, concentrating on what she was doing when of course, without delay, Dean popped in. Only Dean would just barge in when the door was closed without knocking, she told him that.

  "Dean! What does a closed - door - mean?!" She bit his head off straight away.

  "Oooh-wee, somebody's in a bad mood this morning." Was his return, closing the door behind himself and walking in to take a seat at her desk, looking her over close. Ever observant he sang out, "Something's not ri-i-ight. Why them eyes all puffy?" At the tail end of that question, he glanced down at her hand, no ring. "Oh shit! Where your ring? Hell no, do not tell me you have kicked him to the curb already? However, seeing as how you been crying, maybe he kick you to the curb? Which?"

  "Dean - how you just gone walk your end in here, plop down and start first thing in the morning, asking me about my business?! My eyes puffy?"

  "I ain't got time to lie to you, that's what I said. Now, if you can't talk to me, who can you talk to? He take the ring back or you give it back?"

  "Shit." She thought she'd fixed that, too late to worry over it now, "Dean this is going to be a long day, might I suggest you get it started. I have work to do?"

  "Hell with work! We got to get that ring back on your finger! You ain't gone embarrass me. We been bragging you up, rubbing you and your man in Ms Bailey's face! Now you gone bring your black ass to work with no damn ring on! You ruining my goddamn day! Yo'ass stay in this office! Don't come out until you get a hold of him on that phone...shit!"

  "Excuse me, I am not calling anyone. As for rubbing us, Jake and I, in Janna's face, serves you right. Find someone else's business to get into and leave me alone! Now get out of my office, I have work to do. Close my door behind you."

  "Well tell me this, was it something he did? Or something your ass said? Probably you!" He figured standing heading for the door. "You better call his ass!"

  "Mind your own business Dean!"

  Out he went shaking his head at the mess she'd made, ruining what could have been a perfect day for needling.

  Keeping her focus, Vivian pressed onward with her business. She only allowed herself a moment to slip into thoughts of the night before. Thoughts of what it would mean in their relationship; correcting herself, she realized that she'd ended that relationship. Feeling the tight grip of fear in her stomach, she fought it back and carried on. Within a few hours of working, Stephanie poked her head in, it was their break.

  "Hey you, coming to break?" She asked gently, in a way that Vivian could tell, she knew; via Dean no doubt.

  Unable to speak at that moment, Vivian shook her head still looking down at what she was doing.

  "Come on Vivian, take a break. You need a hug?"

  "No Stephanie, I'm fine - you go on take your break."

  "You want us to take it in here with you? We could if you want." She furthered, with Dean now joining her in the door. "What she say?" He whispered to Stephanie. Vivian heard and sighed as Stephanie looked at him, shook her head.

  "You guys please." Vivian finally looked up.

  Janna finally showed up, pushing the door further open. "Hey you, taking a break?" She asked Vivian.

  "No, thank you - I'm not in the mood. You all go on."

  "No? Why? What's going on?" She asked, making her way into the office and took a seat. Of course, since she did that, Dean and Stephanie did the same. To heck with their break, it was only fifteen minutes long anyway, three of those minutes were just about up, might as well stay where they were.

  Vivian sat back staring at her, at Dean and Stephanie, thinking what the heck.

  "Jake and I argued last night. I went too far, said the wrong thing-..."

  "I knew it! I knew it was you! What you say? Bossy ass!"

  Vivian gave Dean a harsh glare. He was un-fazed. Doing a head rotation his comment to that was, "Don't look at me like that, I ain't make you say what you said. What'd you say?"

  "Don't worry about what I said, I said it - and - I went even further and - well, I tossed the ring at him."

  "Now you sitting up here in regret!" Dean voiced.

  "Have you called him?" Stephanie asked.

  "No, I haven't."

  "Why not? You better call him." Dean pressed.

  "Why should she? To be honest with you, I think you've done the right thing. I mean, come on, he's hardly your type. Chances are, he was only with you because of the money you make. Why set yourself up to be used that way." Janna added. "Obviously you knew that, that's why you said whatever it was you said and tossed his ring back at him. Has he tried calling you?"

  Vivian could only stare at her for the moment. Dean was making faces behind her back, and Stephanie was rolling her eyes, unable to help herself she turned in her chair to look at Janna and asked. "What makes you think he was out to use her? The way you sound, it's like he would have no other reason for wanting her, other than what she could give him financially."

  "That's not what I said, is it?" Janna defended.

  "No, but ain't nobody stupid - we can read between the lines you know." Stephanie furthered.

  "Well my point is this, he's a hick. Makes-..."

  "Don't call him that." Vivian corrected her right away, cutting off what she was saying.

  "Excuse me - I just call them as I see them. You can do better than him Vivian. Why you would trade Dr. Chan for him, is beyond me."

  "Dr. Chan was married, remember?"

  "Not anymore - he's getting a divorce." She announced.

  "How would you know that?"

  "He told me. While you were off, he was here, and often I might add, looking for you. Approached me a few times asking were you back to work yet. In among that correspondence he informed me that he was getting a divorce. He also stated that he loved you. Would always love you, would do anything for you. I think you should give him another chance." She finished.

  "No chance of that, it's over - finished - done. I'm moving on."

  "Damn right you are, call Jake!" Dean inserted. "I saw that doctor up here too, he had his chance, hell with him. He never gave me the time of day, I like Jake! Call him, call him now!"

 
; "No Dean; besides, after what I said to him, I'll probably never see him again anyway."

  "Damn! What the hell did you say to him?" Stephanie needed to know.

  "You guys - look. It's over-..."

  "Were you even in love with him?!" Dean blasted, getting pissed at her.

  "Dean! It is none, of your business!"

  "Pride! That's what it is, your damn black ass pride! If that man put that ring on your finger, that meant something to him."

  "Oh please, it probably wasn't even real! On his income, there's no way he could have afforded a ring like that."

  "Janna why are you taking every moment and thing said to dis' him? You don't know him. You don't know anything about him. I'd appreciate it if you would keep your opinions to yourself concerning him." Vivian couldn't hold back anymore.

  "Fine! Excuse me! I just think as an intelligent black woman, you would see right through him. If he was so much in love with you, why hasn't he tried to call you!? I'll say no more! If you all will excuse me, I'll leave. I seem to be the only one here on your side Vivian, however - that's not what you want." She stood and left her office, closing the door behind her.

  After her leaving, Dean took her seat, having been standing by the wall. "Don't let her fool you. She just didn't like the fact that he was white! Tall, fine as hell, and you, black and fine - had him! She ain't fooling no goddamn body! Do not believe that shit!" Dean griped with narrowed eyes.

  "You two, look - fact is, he hasn't called - okay? In that, she could be right."

  Dean shot up out of his chair heading for the door, "Let me go for I cuss you out and get fired. I got bills to pay." He left her office.

  Stephanie grabbed Vivian's hand, "You need to ignore both of them. This is your life. You do what you gotta do. If you feel the need to call him, call him. If you feel you shouldn't, don't. One thing is for sure, if he loves you, and you love him - it's not over yet. I better get back to work. We'll ride with you on the L if you want, so you don't have to leave here alone." She offered.

  Vivian smiled, "Thanks, that would be nice. See you later."

  * * *

  L. A...

  Deidre just wanted to take a breather and be left alone. She needed a moment to relax, collect her thoughts and make a decision on where her life was going. Of late, Charlie was doing all of the directing and decision making, forcefully so, it might be added. Granted, it was her job, however that job entailed tracking and keeping up with Deidre's every step and action, it was a difficult adjustment to make and already getting to her; unaccustomed to living this way, needless to say left much to be desired. At that very moment, Deidre was on her sun deck, -where Charlie said she wasn't supposed to be- in the early hour of the morning, sipping coffee and reading her paper. Trying with all her might, to ignore Charlie, who was fuming, fussing at her, pacing back and forth at the rail of the deck, dressed in a skimpy little sleep shirt with a short, loose robe tied at her waist; bare legs and barefoot, carrying a semi-automatic, spying the area surrounding the deck to see if anyone could take a shot at her from a covert location.

  "Hurry up and drink that coffee and read that paper!" Charlie bossed.

  "I'm going to take - my time." Deidre announced, refusing to look up at her.

  "Dee-dee why you always gotta be trippin'? Giving me a hard time? You want me to pop somebody don't you? I will! You better hurry up!"

  "No! And you can't make me! It's a beautiful morning, and I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest." She announced just as Jeremiah and Samuel stepped onto the deck.

  Charlie sighed, looking at the two men, "Took you long enough to get here; Dee-Dee trippin'! Samuel, guard her please so I can go put some clothes on?!" She ordered.

  Samuel had been eying her legs, a simper of appreciation on his face. She noted it, rolled her eyes and walked by him passing through the double sliding deck doors to dress. He took up the spot where she'd been pacing moments before.

  Jeremiah walked to the table, took the seat adjacent to Deidre, with his index finger caught the top of the newspaper and pulled it down to look at her. The look on her face made him chuckle.

  "What are you doing Deidre?"

  With the snap of her paper, folding it before her, she announced, "I'm doing what normal everyday people do first thing in the morning. Reflecting on my day, getting the early news, sipping my coffee, formulating a plan for what projects I might accomplish this day. On - my - sun-deck - soaking up a bit of sun! That's what I'm doing." She grumped.

  "First thing, you're not normal everyday people, unfortunately. Second, you came out here un-announced, while Charlie was still in bed. Un-protected. You can't be doing that Deidre."

  "She is such a rat fink! Obviously she couldn't wait to get on the phone to tell you! Well I'm perfectly safe here Jer'miah! Incase you haven't noticed, the nearest high rise building is blocks and blocks away!"

  "Scopes, rifles, bullets - you'd be surprised at the distance they can cover, that's all that's needed."

  "I don't care! I would like to have just a moment alone in the morning to prepare myself for the day, is that too much to ask!?"

  "Under normal circumstances, no. Until we know what's going on, who set out to kill you, we can't have you taking chances like this. Now, come on, let's get inside." He stood beside her waiting. Deidre stomped her foot, pushed her chair back with a harsh scraping and shot to her feet. She was dressed in a nice long silky-satin nightgown, with a softly draping Jacquard wrap over it; which she snatched to, tied and stomped into the house with Jeremiah following and grinning. She smelled wonderful, her skin dewy, fresh and a healthy pink. Fresh with the morning, no make-up disclosed a spray of freckles showing across her nose which held his attention while she was into her tirade, her moist pink lips, forming words that he had to pay close attention to hear. He hadn't intended for it to happen, yet it was happening just the same. He found himself eagerly anticipating their next moment together. Spending time in her company had suddenly brightened a light in his life, long since gone dim. Often he found himself watching the many different plays of expression cross her lovely face, reflecting back to when she was a young inquisitive girl, flirting with him, testing him, curious about him. Years later, she'd turned into a stunning blonde, this could not be denied. Although rich beyond any man's or woman's wildest dreams, she was unaffected by it in that she at no time felt herself superior to anyone. She had a gentle heart, one that was honest and real. While she was not perfect and admitted this often, as their time together and discussions showed, even so she wanted what everyone else in the world wanted. To be happy. To live in peace. To be loved.

  Jeremiah admired this about her.

  She was spoiled by her rich living, yet, at the same time un-spoiled by it. That was the complexity of her. Now that she was back in her own home, no longer in his - he admitted only to himself that he missed her presence there. During the time of her recouping when she occupied the room down the hall from him, he'd quickly gotten comfortable with her gentle presence. There was something in having someone to take care of; to check on, to protect. It had taken days for her lingering fragrance to gradually fade from the room where she slept, in fact - he'd been reluctant to let his house keeper wash the sheets she'd slept on. No one knew of the times he'd gone in the room after her vacating it, to lean down and inhale deeply the scent left on the pillow where her head use to lay.

  Looking at her head now, with its full gleaming blonde tresses, perfectly cut above the shoulders, and straight bangs above stunning noble brows, he fought his urges to touch it, to touch her.

  With the completion of that thought, she suddenly stopped and turned.

  He almost collided into her, grabbing her arms with his own braced to keep them from making body contact. Their close proximity took them both by surprise. His hands holding her arms, made her feel breathless. Right then, Deidre realized how long it had been since she'd been this close to a man, touched so intimately by one. Surprised by it, the reason she stopp
ed and turned completely escaped her. Trying to gather her wits, she took a deep breath. Feeling similar sensations, Jeremiah could not resist the caress of is thumbs through the soft fabric of her sleeves.

  "I ah, left my coffee - my paper, on the deck." She stated softly.

  Jeremiah stood staring into her eyes. It took everything in him not to give into temptation to kiss her; thanks to Samuel's presence.

  "I'll bring them in for you." He announced, feeling a bit uncomfortable with being the third wheel responsible for holding things up between them.

  They stood, no comment for him.

  Jeremiah reluctantly loosened his grip, swallowing, he stepped back from her.