The Return of Brody McBride

by Jennifer Ryan

The girls ran into the room seconds after Rain quietly left. “Dad, will you read us four books?” Dawn asked. “Please,” the girls chorused together.

  “Get your pajamas on, girls. You can each pick out two books.”

  He put away the albums while they changed, unfazed at having him roam about their room, looking at their things, pictures they’d drawn, stuffed animals peeking out of baskets, toys littering the floor and filling a chest. Everything two little girls needed, provided almost exclusively by Rain. A tangible reflection of Rain’s affection and love for the girls. His only mark on the room and their surroundings, the three photos of him. One showed him leaning against his old truck, arms crossed over his chest, a cocky, smug look on his face. Another of him prowling after Rain, walking up the dock, a wide grin on his face, his arm outstretched to her. He remembered grabbing her after she snapped the photo. He’d stolen a kiss, tickled her unmercifully before picking her up and running off the end of the dock and into the cool water.

  The last photo was of the two of them as teens. He couldn’t remember who’d taken the picture. It didn’t matter. He’d never seen it before, but he remembered how he felt when he held Rain in his arms like that. Leaning back against a tree, she stood in front of him, his arms banded around her chest, her hands holding his arms. Her face tilted up, and the look in her eyes as she stared up at him was mesmerizing. He could see the love there, captured in that moment as he looked off at something in the distance.

  God, had they really been that young once. It seemed a lifetime ago.

  If only he’d looked down at her in that moment and seen how much she loved him, maybe he’d never have turned his back on it.

  “Dad, are you okay?” Autumn asked tentatively from behind him.

  “Just looking at this old picture of your mom and me.”

  “It’s our favorite,” Dawn said. “There aren’t many of the two of you together. We don’t have any new ones of you. Do you have pictures of you in the Army?”

  “Some.” He turned away from the dresser and the past he was only now seeing clearly.

  “Mom said you got hurt several times, but the last time it was really bad. She said you could have died. It made her sad,” Autumn confessed from her lavender covered bed. “She cried.”

  Not wanting to frighten them, he gave the matter a serious answer without all the details. “I was hurt very badly. Some of my friends didn’t make it, others were hurt worse than me. But I’m okay now,” he added to reassure them.

  “Are you going back to the war?” Dawn asked, her lips drawn into a deep frown.

  “No, baby girl. I’m staying here with you both.”

  “And Mom?” Autumn asked.

  “Definitely with your mom. When I was in the hospital, I thought about her all the time. I came home to see her, and I found the both of you.”

  “We were a surprise,” Autumn said with a smile.

  “Yes, you were, sweetheart. A very good surprise.”

  “If you’d have come home and I was gone with Roxy, would you have come to get me?” Autumn asked, her gaze on the bed, but her words a desperate plea.

  Dawn’s eyes blazed. She watched and waited for an answer. Every instinct he had told him Roxy did something terrible to his little girl. He’d make her pay dearly for it.

  Easing down onto the edge of the bed beside Autumn, he vowed, “There is no place on this earth she could take you that I wouldn’t hunt her down and find you and bring you back to me and your mother.”

  Her eyes raised to his, her chin trembled slightly. “Promise?” she asked, breaking his heart that such a small child needed a promise like this.

  “I swear it.” He gave her the words she needed to hear and the vow he swore he’d never break.

  Dawn broke the tension by leaping into his lap with her books. “I want this one first.”

  Autumn’s face turned her attention to the book in his hands. The last few minutes tucked away, forgotten for now. “Scoot over, baby girl. Make room for me and your sister.”

  Brody read the books to the girls, one tucked under each of his arms and pressed so trustingly to his chest. In all his years, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this content. Except maybe when he’d had Rain lying down the length of him. Since that one night they’d shared together, all he’d felt was discontent and half-empty without his other half.

  After all the books were read and he answered several questions for the girls about following the rodeo circuit when he left town, to joining the military, he tucked them into their beds. He kissed Dawn on the forehead and brushed his nose against hers, making her giggle. Then, he moved on to Autumn. Planting his hands on either side of her head, he leaned down to kiss her. He stopped when her little hands came up and held his face, her right hand softly tracing the cut on his temple.

  “Does it hurt?” Her brows drew together. Her worry for him touched a place in his heart he thought long decayed and shriveled up.

  “Not so much, baby girl. Not as much as my heart will hurt missing you and Dawn until I see you again.” Never one to share his feelings easily, he found it so simple to tell her how he felt.

  “You could come to softball practice tomorrow and watch us play,” Dawn offered.

  He kissed Autumn on the forehead, brushed his nose to hers, and said, “I’ll be there.”

  Standing in the doorway, looking back at them tucked into their beds, both watching him, he took in the scene and sighed. Overwhelmed, he said, “Goodnight, girls. I’ll send your mom up to say goodnight. I love you,” he added, meaning it wholeheartedly.

  “Love you, too,” Autumn called back. At the same time Dawn said, “I love you.”

  He had to sit on the top of the stairs, his face planted in his palms as he tried to get hold of his emotions.

  Rain stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched the play of misery all mixed up with love and overwhelming feelings that came along with being a parent cross Body’s face. The awesome responsibility swamped her the first time she held Dawn, moments after she’d given birth to her. Looking into her tiny face, she’d realized she was her child’s everything. Brody was feeling that right now.

  Drawn up the stairs by his slumped form and her traitorous heart, she stood before him and put her hand on his hair, sliding her fingers through the silky strands. Brody’s head came up at the same time he took her hand and pressed it to his cheek.

  “They’re mine,” he said on a huge exhale.

  “One hundred percent,” she confirmed with half a smile.

  “How the hell am I going to take care of them and be the father they need?”

  “I asked the same thing myself for about the first month I had them home. Two crying babies, both relying on me for everything. Very overwhelming. The only thing I can tell you is it gets easier. Besides, you don’t have to change dirty diapers and endure sleepless nights for two and four A.M. feedings.”

  Holding on to her hand, he looked up to her with earnest eyes. “I would have, Rain. Dirty diapers, late-night feedings, spit up, whatever they’d needed, I’d have done it for them, for you. If you want to have more, I’ll prove it to you.”

  “Be happy with the two you already have.” She tried to take her hand back. He wouldn’t let her.

  “Do you want to have more, Rain?”

  “I’ll walk you out to your truck,” she said, avoiding answering.

  “Rain . . .”

  “Brody, nothing good will come from me answering that question.”

  He followed her down the stairs. “Hot sex and a baby will come from answering that question, honey.”

  “Then my answer is no. I’ve already had the hot sex and baby that comes with it. Got myself another baby when someone else got the same hot sex.” She pushed the front door open and walked out into the cold night air.

  Brody grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. His face an inch from hers, he leaned over her, his voice came out rough. “She got fucked and so did I. In more ways than one. D
on’t ever compare what we had with what happened between Roxy and me. There’s no comparison and not a damn thing matches what I had with you.”

  “Except the end result. Two beautiful girls.”

  “You got to have both of them, while all I got was a life of living hell without you. My own damn fault, I know. I deserved it.”

  “If you wanted me so damn much, why didn’t you stay and fight with me and then make up the way we always did?”

  Taking a few steps away from her, he turned back and gave her the only reason he had and knew wasn’t worth anything after how much it cost him. “Because I thought you would walk away from me anyway. You had your scholarship, college, a great future laid out before you and nothing but me and the worst mistake of my life here. I couldn’t watch you walk away from me and leave me with nothing.”

  “You never once thought of going with me?” she ventured.

  “You never asked.”

  “I was working my way up to it, trying to find a way to get you to come with me without you thinking I was trapping you into something you didn’t want.”

  “All I ever wanted was you.” Brody took a step to her and reached out to trace his fingers over her cheeks. “I’ve been to two countries to hunt down and destroy our enemies. The one thing I learned, I’m my own worst enemy. I destroyed myself when I left you and all I want to do is rebuild.”

  “You’re off to a good start with Dawn and Autumn.” She let him know she appreciated the effort he was making with the girls.

  “How am I doing with you?”

  “I don’t want to do this with you, Brody. I’m the mother of your children, not some chick you pick up in a bar.”

  “Did I toss out some line at you?”

  “No. You just thought you could come in here, have a few heated words with me, I’d forgive everything, and we’d be right back where we were eight years ago. That’s not going to happen. I have those girls to think about. I’m not messing around here.”

  “I didn’t come back to mess with you.”

  “No, you just want to set up house and play the happy family where I forget everything that’s standing between us from the night you slept with Roxy until now.”

  “Is that so much to ask? You said you forgive me. I get you’re still angry.”

  “You left me.”

  Brody grabbed her by the back of the neck and around her waist, hauling her body against his, her face inches away. The heat of his breath washed over her lips, his breath coming out heavy with every exhale laced with the anger simmering in his eyes.

  “Stupidest thing I ever did. Worst mistake of my life. Saying I’m sorry a hundred times will never make it up to you. But please, after you’re done being angry, could you at least try to open your heart to me and see if we could make us work. Make some room for me in their lives and yours. As much as I appreciate all you’ve done to be a mother to our girls, I want you to be more. I want you to be my wife.”

  Her body was already melting into his as he held her immobile against him. As much as she wanted to give in to the temptation of his mouth and the hard arousal pressed to her stomach, she couldn’t allow herself the momentary pleasure it would bring and the longtime heartache it could cause.

  “You ask a whole lot of me. Be your wife. A mother for the girls. Make more babies with you. Fill a house with a family. Nowhere in there did you offer me anything.”

  “Anything you want, ask and it’s yours.”

  “I shouldn’t have to ask. It should be given willingly because you want to give it.”

  “Damnit, Rain. Everything I have, everything I am is yours already. Can’t you see that?”

  Before he could crush his mouth to hers, she pressed her fingertips to his lips, pressing to keep him from kissing her. “Don’t. Don’t kiss me anymore. They’re upstairs watching out the window, hoping you and I will fall back in love instantly, get married, and you’ll move in and be a full-time father to them.”

  Brody glanced over her shoulder and up to the black window above her head. “Is this that ‘Mom has eyes in the back of her head’ deal? The girls are in bed. They aren’t in the window.”

  “Yes, they are. They can be very sneaky when they want to be. Every time they see you kiss me, they plot and plan for happily-ever-after between their parents.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” He let her go before she had to struggle to get free.

  “Everything. Especially when there’s so much unfinished business between us. Owen offered to watch the girls Friday night. I’ll come out to the cabin and you and I will talk.”

  He frowned and settled for what he could get. “I promised the girls I’d see them tomorrow at softball practice. What time?”

  “Four to five at the elementary school field.”

  “Can I take you all out to dinner tomorrow night?”

  “The girls love the pizza parlor.”

  “I could take you out for something nicer than pizza,” he offered, wishing for candlelight, steaks, and soft music, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get it.

  “Let’s keep it simple. Easy.”

  “For now.” He really wanted that intimate evening alone with her. Inspiration struck. “I’ll make you dinner Friday night.”

  “Don’t bother, I won’t stay longer than it takes to tell you what you need to know. Besides, when you hear what I have to say, you’ll lose your appetite.”

  With his hands fisted on his hips, he studied her. She didn’t give anything away. “You won’t cut me any breaks, will you?”

  “There’s nothing I’d like more than to go back to that place where things were easy between us. Where I could take one look at you and see everything you weren’t telling or showing me.”

  “You can still read me, Rain. You knew the minute I saw those girls I wanted to be their father. I mourn every day I missed with them, and I’ll do everything in my power to be a good father to them. More than that, when you heard I’d come back to town for you, you weren’t sure. Not until the minute I walked into Pop’s garage and you saw my face. Then you knew. When I kissed you, you knew I still love you.”

  “Stop, Brody. Enough.”

  “It’s not enough. Not until you and I are together again. Not until you believe in us again. I’ll prove it to you, Rain. We can have the house, the family, the love we once dreamed. It can all come true.”

  “Goodnight, Brody. Drive safe.” She went up the steps to the porch.

  “I’ll let you walk away from me tonight, because you need time to think. We will lay all the cards on the table and deal with each and every one of them. Starting with the reason our daughter is terrified of Roxy.”

  “You should be, too, Brody. That woman is evil beyond measure.”

  Brody opened his mouth to ask her about that last comment, but Rain held up her hand and pointed up, indicating the girls just above them, probably listening to every word.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Dream of me, I’ll be dreaming of you,” he said, reminding her of just how much her past had come back to haunt her. Those were the same words he’d said to her night after night years ago.

  She stood on the porch and he got into his truck and started the powerful engine. She was still standing there minutes after he looked at her and drove away. Wiping the backs of her hands over the tears on her cheeks, she went into the house and up the stairs. The sound of the girls rushing into their beds didn’t surprise her.

  She kissed both girls, ignoring the fact they pretended to sleep. Dawn’s bold voice broke the silence. “Will Dad move in with us?”

  Rain answered as honestly as she could. “I don’t know. Go to sleep now. You’ll see him again tomorrow.”

  Rain walked into her dark room, light from the street lamp casting the room in a soft glow. The sight of her empty bed, the quiet of the room, the ache in her heart made even the thought of sleep impossible. Curling up with her mother’s old quilt in the chair by the window, she gazed up at the star
s, her eyes as weary as her mind. Drifting off to sleep almost an hour later, she dreamed of Brody and woke the next morning cussing him for willing her to join him in a place where everything was right and perfect.

  Chapter Eleven

  * * *

  BRODY WOKE TO the birds singing outside his window. Their cheerful tune only made the pounding in his head intensify with each squawk outside, echoing in his head. His bad leg tightened into an intensely painful cramp. He could barely move it without shooting pains up into his hip and back or down to his toes. Both of those things were bad enough, but the throbbing erection really had his attention because the damn birds had pulled him out of a dream so intense, he could almost feel Rain on top of him, grinding her hips to his. The weight of her breasts pressed into his palms.

  Satisfaction was a hot shower and five fingers away, but the pain in his leg and head made it impossible to get out of bed. Thankful he’d remembered to put his pills on the bedside table, he popped the top, and against his will he took two pain pills instead of his normal one. Even the thought of needing the drugs made him feel weak, like his father. With his arms crossed over his eyes, he waited for the effects of the drugs to take hold and erase the pain.

  Over an hour later, he finally made it out of bed and into the shower. Hands planted on the wall, the spray pounding on the back of his neck, he stared down at his damaged leg. The skin grafts looked better. The burns had healed. The doctors told him it could have been a lot worse. He was an excellent healer.

  “Like any of that matters when I look like this,” he said to the drain. “What the hell will Rain think when she sees this?”

  He didn’t know, but it was never far from his mind any time he thought about her. His need for her was a living thing inside of him. One day soon, he planned to take her to bed again and find that magical place only they could conjure.

  The contractor arrived while he sat at his new kitchen table drawing out new plans for the addition to his cabin. Only this time, instead of adding on a few hundred square feet, he was adding on almost two thousand. A cabin wasn’t enough space for him and his family. They needed at least three more bedrooms and two more baths, along with a great room for all of them to enjoy. It would cost him a lot to keep the original cabin structure and build around it, but he felt it important to keep a piece of his past while looking forward to his future. Besides, what was the use of having all that money if he didn’t use it for his family?