The Return of Brody McBride

by Jennifer Ryan

  “They can come with us when they aren’t in school. Or, we could take them out for a few days, a week, and give them a real adventure. Life experience.”

  He took a big bite of steak and smiled broadly. He’d taken her off guard. He’d made it plain he wanted her back. She just hadn’t realized that he’d also made plans for their future.

  “You’re serious.”

  “As a heart attack, sweetheart. It’s easy to talk about having a life with you. I want you to understand I didn’t come back on a whim. I’ll admit, I’ve had to adjust my plans to include the girls, but I have to say, they’re a wonderful bonus.”

  “I can’t just travel with you.”

  “Why not? Eli and Owen will babysit the girls. We could hire a full-time nanny if you want. Hell, we could bring the girls and a nanny. That way you and I can do the town at night while the girls sleep. I’ll get my business done, and we’ll all get a chance to see some interesting places around the world.”

  “Like where?”

  He had her attention now. Her tentative question didn’t mask her interest and curiosity.

  “I have to go to China in a couple of months. We’ve got a new prototype and we’ll work with a manufacturer to mass produce the product.”

  “China,” she said, astonished.

  “Of course, I’d like you to take a look at the blueprints for the expansion of the house. I don’t expect you to just agree with my plans, but tell me what you want and need, so we can work together to make it happen. I want this to be our home.”

  “You mean that?”

  “Yes. What good is building this place if you’re not happy here, or you hate it.”

  “What are your plans?”

  “The entire back of the house will be blown out. We’ll expand the kitchen and living room into a huge great room. I’ll have an office downstairs. There’ll be a bathroom and a couple of closets. Upstairs, we’ll have a master suite and three or four other bedrooms. Two or three more bathrooms depending on the number of bedrooms. I figure we’ll need the bathrooms when the girls get bigger. I’d really like to have another baby with you. More if you’d like.

  “What do you think?”

  “The kitchen will need to have a breakfast room and an island. The stove should have burners and a griddle. The girls like pancakes for breakfast several times a week. Keep the mudroom, but enlarge it so there is space to fold laundry and keep the baskets. The master suite and four bedrooms upstairs. The girls will want to share for now, but eventually they’ll want their own room. Maybe,” she said thoughtfully. “They’re really close. And, yes.”

  “I’m sorry, yes?”

  “Yes, I’d like to have another baby. Maybe two. We’ll see. Oh, and I’d like to paint the house white with dark blue trim. Hardwood floors and a stone fireplace that you’ll make love to me in front of when the girls stay at Uncle Owen’s house for a sleepover.”

  She forked up another bite of steak and chewed, a thoughtful smile on her face.

  “I’m having a hard time believing you’re just going along with this.”

  “Between now and the house being done we still have a lot to work out. Owen goaded me into coming tonight, laying my cards on the table, and taking a risk. Because of what we once shared, and the future I think we can create together with our girls, I’m betting on us.

  “Besides, the only thing I had planned was a softball game on Saturday and grocery shopping on Sunday. Your plans are much more detailed.”

  She barely contained the smile creeping up her face. Her eyes sparkled with suppressed laughter. His heart felt lighter knowing she wasn’t fighting him anymore. Whatever her reasons for putting aside her anger and thinking about a future with him, he didn’t care. He hoped this was the start of many conversations about joining their lives permanently.

  She leaned forward and her eyes turned serious again.

  “Just because I agree doesn’t mean it’ll be easy or happen overnight. We have to consider the girls. They want us to be together, for you and me to be their mom and dad and be a happy family. You and I have a lot of catching up to do before we make any promises to Dawn and Autumn.”

  “Every time they see the two of us together, their little faces look so hopeful.”

  “Didn’t you ever wish for your parents to be back together when you were a kid?”

  Brody thought about it. “I wished my mother would come back and take me with her. Then again, I didn’t want to leave Owen. My life growing up wasn’t anything like normal. I’d like the girls to have normal at the minimum. If you and I can find our way back to happy, they’ll have extraordinary.”

  Tears gathered in her eyes and he reached out and took her hand. He brought it to his mouth and kissed her palm. He held her hand against his cheek and met her glistening eyes. “I know you missed your mother. Probably wished a million times to have her back, but never so much as when you found out you were pregnant. I bet you wished she was there with you.”

  “Pop was great. My rock as usual. But I really wish I’d had my mother there to give me advice about being a mother. How did . . .”

  “I know you. We both grew up with only our fathers. I was always jealous of you and Eli. Of course, you shared him with me. He always welcomed me into your home. Even when he realized I wanted to sleep with his daughter.”

  She smiled, remembering those months Eli seemed on edge, always watching them like a hawk. “You did make him nervous. You should have seen him trying his best to give me the talk.” She giggled. Her whole face lit up with a smile bright enough to banish the darkest night. “I’ve never seen him sweat so much, or stumble over his words like that. By the time he was finished, I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew he had enough faith in me to let me make my own choice.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He told me the basic technique using a very strange baseball analogy.”

  “Whatever he told you, you blew my mind that night.”

  “You didn’t give me much time to think.”

  “You knocked on the door and the next thing I know, you jumped into my arms and kissed me like your life depended on it.”

  “It did. You pushed me away and I needed you back. I had to prove to you we belonged together.”

  “I could have gone slower, been more careful. I knew you were a virgin. I was so far gone, I couldn’t stop myself, even if the house was falling down around us.”

  “You were slower, more careful later that night.”

  “I knew you were probably sore. I wanted to give you as much pleasure as you gave to me. You were so . . .”

  “Wanton,” she supplied.

  “Free. Open. Trusting.”

  “I knew you’d never hurt me, felt how much you needed me that night. I didn’t know the why of it. At the time, I didn’t care. In my limited experience, I’d say no other woman has been loved that well her first time.”

  “You thought I was that way with . . .”

  “Don’t say her name. This is our first date. Dinner was lovely. The company, handsome and charming.”

  “Not charming enough. We’re still at the table and not in bed.”

  She laughed, but didn’t take the bait. “Tell me about your company. What do you do?”

  They sat for an hour swapping stories about work, the girls, his life in the military, movies, the everyday things that filled their lives over the last eight years. They kept things simple and settled back into that comfortable friendship they shared so long ago. She laughed about the story of him and his buddies holding a karaoke contest for the worst singer in the squad. Brody came in second. Brody went through a range of emotions listening to the stories she told about the girls as babies and growing up. She brought the missing years to life for him, and he vowed he’d never miss another moment. Interested in his company, she asked several questions and listened to him explain his plans for the future. She warmed to the idea of traveling. They daydreamed of taking a family vacation. Some
thing fun for the girls, like Disneyland or Hawaii.

  “I didn’t think tonight would turn out this well. I’m glad I came,” she admitted, making him smile.

  She picked up her glass of iced tea and held it up to clink with his. For the first time, he noticed she’d put his medicine on the table behind his glass. He tapped his glass to hers and stared at the bottle of pills.

  “Take the ones you need, Brody. You’ve had a good meal. Don’t be reluctant to take them in front of me. I want you to be well.” She placed her hand over his fist on the table. He turned his hand over, her palm pressed against his, her fingers lightly stroked his wrist. So easy for them to be together like this, now that they’d shared some of their lives together with quiet conversation, the animosity and anger dissipated now that everything was out in the open.

  She stood and grabbed both their plates. “You cooked, I’ll do the dishes.”

  She stared at him for a moment. He took the bottle of pills, read the label to make sure he had the right one, and took one of the pills. He grabbed the bottle of pain meds and took one of those. After he downed his iced tea, she walked into the kitchen.

  He grabbed up the rest of the bowls and glasses and carried them to the sink. He dumped the rest of the salad into a plastic-covered bowl and stuck it into the fridge while she rinsed plates and put them in the dishwasher. Moving in behind her, he kissed and nuzzled her neck, making her giggle and wiggle.

  “Brody, I’m trying to clean up here.”

  “I just wanted a little something sweet for dessert.” He kissed her neck again to rile her. “Sweetheart, you’re getting your sweater all wet.” He grabbed her hand and pulled up her sleeve.

  “No! Don’t!”

  Too late, he saw her arm and the nasty bruises. “My God, Rain. What happened to your arm? That’s gotta hurt like hell.”

  She tugged down her sleeve, shut off the water, and moved away from him, never meeting his eyes. “It’s fine. It’s nothing. Really.” Her words came out quick and nervous.

  Stepping around her, he stopped her in her tracks before she left the kitchen. She wouldn’t look at him. “Rain.” When she refused to raise her head, he put his finger under her chin and made her. “Did that happen last night at the pizza parlor?”

  He read it in her eyes. The sad way she looked at him, imploring him to drop it.

  He raked a hand through his hair and tried to remember everything that happened before Rain dragged him out of the restaurant and down the street to the park. Completely out of it, he followed her lead and prayed he didn’t frightened his daughters when they saw him disoriented.

  Wait. His daughters. He remembered. “Dawn begged me to let you go.” He took two steps away from her, but she came after him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

  “Don’t you back away from me. Don’t you shut me out.”

  “I hurt you.” His voice barely made it past his lips.

  “You slipped away from me,” she began. “We were talking and this look came over you. Right before I lost you, you grabbed on to me.”

  “I hurt you.”

  “I tried to bring you back.”

  “I hurt you! I put those marks on you. Is your arm broken?”

  “No, and you didn’t mean to.”

  He threw up his hands and let them fall along with his sarcastic retort. “Well, if I didn’t mean it, then it’s fine to hurt you like that.” He took a deep breath and took a step back. This time she let him. “Oh God, I feel sick.” He put his hand to his stomach. He couldn’t believe he’d hurt her. “You have to go. Go home, Rain. You have to go. Please. Get away from me. I shouldn’t have come back. It was too soon. My mind . . .”

  “Brody. Stop it. You aren’t sending me away.”

  “I don’t ever want to hurt you again. You have to leave. Go. Please.” His lungs grew tight. Hyperventilating, he grabbed the back of a chair.

  “Brody, honey, please. Take a breath. Calm down. You’re scaring me.”

  “You should be scared. Look what I did to your arm.”

  She threw herself into his chest, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled his mouth down to her. Her lips were insistent, and without a conscious thought his whole body responded to her. He slid his hands up the back of her sweater, over her soft skin, and pulled her close. Her tongue swept across his lips. He opened his mouth and devoured her. He’d been unable to breathe a minute ago; now, he breathed her in and held on to her warmth.

  With intense tenderness, they held the kiss. She broke free and touched her forehead to his. Eyes closed, her voice no more than a whisper. “Do you love me, Brody?”

  The muscles in his arms contracted and he held her closer. “More than anything.”

  “Would you ever consciously hurt me?”

  “I’d rather cut off my arm with a dull blade.”

  “Please let this go. I have. You knew you were being taken somewhere you didn’t want to go. All you did was hold on to me.”

  “That’s all I want to do. But I never meant . . .”

  “I know.”

  “You said you love me. I held on to that and pulled myself out of hell, hoping I’d hear you say it again.”

  “I love you.” She kissed him softly.

  He set her away and looked her in the eye. “Did the girls see your arm?”

  “They saw you last night. I’ve talked to them about what you’re going through and that you need time to get better.”

  “Dawn tried to pull my hand away from you.”

  “She knew you weren’t really there. You saw her at the park. She was her usual self.”

  “She takes after her mother, overlooks my bad behavior.”

  “She has complete faith in the fact that her father would never hurt her mother on purpose.”

  “What about Autumn? She’s so sensitive and takes everything to heart.”

  Rain smiled softly. “She crawled in bed with me late last night, took my arm and kissed the bruises. She said, ‘He didn’t mean it, Mommy.’ She tucked my arm close to her chest and held on to me while we slept.”

  He took her hand and held it up between them. Gently, he slid her sweater up her arm and really looked at the damage he’d done. He traced his fingertips over the darkest bruises. “Does it hurt bad?”

  “I’m a tough girl.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  “It’s sore. Seeing your reaction to it, I understand how you must feel. It must be very hard for you to reconcile being the badass boy you used to be. Nothing ever touched you. The world could go to hell. You lived your life on your terms. After everything you’ve been through, to be a man now and find yourself unable to control the images and nightmares that come to you. I know you’re frustrated, Brody. But it’s just your mind’s way of trying to deal with something that is terrible and inconceivable. The things you must have seen and done. At the time, you didn’t have the luxury of processing it. That’s all your mind is trying to do.”

  “My mind is stuck in a loop of nothing but endless battles. I left that world behind. I wish my mind would do the same.”

  “Give it time.”

  “It’s been months.” His voice was rough and angry. He hated seeing her face take on that strange look. “Sorry. I get agitated sometimes.”

  “It’s to be expected.”

  “Now you sound like one of the shrinks at the VA hospital.”

  “Maybe you should take their words to heart and understand that you can’t just flip a switch and make this go away.”

  “So what, because I can’t do that I should be allowed to use it as an excuse for snapping at you”—he pointed to her arm—“hurting you.”

  “Not an excuse. A reasonable explanation for your condition and the things that happen that are beyond your control.”

  “Yes. Beyond my control. Which is why you shouldn’t be around me.”

  “That’s not what you really want.” Ever patient with him when he was being unreasonable
.

  “I want you to be safe. I never want to hurt you . . . in any way,” he added softly.

  “Then stop telling me to go away and stay away, because nothing hurts me more than being without you.”

  Silence. They stood not two feet apart. He wanted to close the distance and take her in his arms, take her upstairs to bed and show her how much her admission meant to him.

  The ringing of his phone broke the silence and the intensity of the moment.

  “Why don’t you go sit in the living room and answer that. Get off your leg and rest while I finish cleaning up the kitchen.”

  For the first time, he noticed he was absently rubbing his bad leg and the throbbing wasn’t easing. He’d done a lot of work that day, helping out the crew clearing space for the addition and walking the property to determine the best spot for the new stables and fence lines for the horses.

  Without another word, Rain turned and went back into the kitchen. He limped over to the couch and picked up his cell phone from the side table.

  Not wanting to talk to anyone but Rain, he halfheartedly said, “Hello.”

  “Hey, man, it’s Jim. You’ll never guess what I just overheard.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  * * *

  A RIPPLE OF dread went up Brody’s spine. Whether the words or the tone alerted him, he knew Jim wasn’t calling about the work on the house.

  “What’s up, Jim?”

  “Some of the crew and I came down to Roxy’s for a few beers after work at your place. I was waiting at the bar for the bartender to refill my beer when I overheard the manager talking to him. He said they needed to be ready in a few days because Roxy’s on her way back to town.”

  “Did he say exactly when she’d be rolling in?”

  Rain’s back went rigid and she braced her hands on the counter. Brody wanted to go to her, comfort her, promise her Roxy wouldn’t get anywhere near her or the girls. Especially Autumn. Too bad that was a promise he couldn’t keep, and she would know it was an impossibility. Roxy was a force unto herself. No way to stop her when she set her mind to something, and it seemed every time she set her mind to something it ended in devastation. Look what she’d done to his life, Rain’s, Autumn’s. He couldn’t allow her to wreck the tenuous bond he’d built with Rain. He absolutely couldn’t allow her anywhere near his daughters.