The Return of Brody McBride

by Jennifer Ryan

  “A little bit. Being out here with you was like being teenagers again with no worries. Sneaking off into the woods, making love in the grass under the trees. For a little while there, you weren’t thinking about anything but me and you. Try to do that more.”

  “I will. Your way of looking at things is a hell of a lot better than mine these days.”

  Rain stepped away and gathered her scattered clothes. He couldn’t help himself: he stared at her ass as she bent over to pick up her jeans. His eyes fell on her breasts, slid lower to her flat belly. Yeah, he’d be the happiest man in the world if he’d gotten her pregnant.

  His eyes remained glued on her as she shimmied her panties up her thighs to hug her hips. She pulled her jeans up her legs and fastened them. Bra in place, cupping her breasts, rounding them over the lace edge, she walked to him and stopped when they were mere inches apart. Her hand went to his bare chest over his heart.

  “What is it?” she asked, understanding he still had more on his mind.

  “I don’t want to screw up what we have because of what’s wrong with me. I want to be a good father. I don’t want the girls to be afraid of me.”

  “They aren’t.”

  “Sometimes they are.” He had counseling while he was in the hospital, but he’d been so focused on his physical injuries, his mind was the least of his worries. Now, it was interfering with his life and his family.

  “They understand.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact I left them at the cabin because I couldn’t cope, was afraid I’d do or say something that would harm them.”

  “You’d never hurt them, Brody.”

  “I hurt you.” He touched her healed arm, the bruise he’d left on her neck today, traced his finger over the stubble rash he’d left across her breasts, and she flinched. “I love you so much. The thought of hurting you makes me sick.”

  He put his hand over hers on his chest. “I did some research and found a doctor who specializes in post-traumatic stress disorder. He’s ex-military. His office is three hours away, but he’s willing to do sessions via webcam. I’ll drive to his office twice a month. He comes highly recommended. His credentials are impeccable.”

  “Brody, that’s great. You need someone to talk to about what happened to you overseas. I’ve tried to help you in my own way, but it isn’t enough. I see you suffering and it kills me. I hoped that when you settled in with us at the house you’d relax, feel safe and protected with us surrounding you. But you don’t, Brody. You’re getting worse.”

  “I hope this guy can help me, but if he can’t, I’ll find someone else.”

  “Whatever you need, Brody, whatever it takes. I support you. I’m here for you.”

  “I feel like I’m enduring life, instead of really living it with you and the girls. I want to experience everything with you without all this anxiety and stress underlying everything I do.”

  “I just want you to be well and whole.”

  “I know you do, sweetheart. I want that, too, so I can be the best man I can be for you and the girls. To that end, I’ve also set up a schedule with a physical therapist at the hospital. I’ve been doing all my exercises, but I need help with some of the movements. As I get better, he can help me build the strength back in my leg.”

  The pain and lack of strength frustrated him. He’d do a lot better with a therapist. He’d be able to do more with the girls if he could walk and move better. His mind would take longer than his leg.

  He had plans to help make Rain’s life easier, more comfortable, but he hadn’t followed through. He had a surprise planned for the girls and Rain, something to make up for the years he was gone, but he hadn’t done it yet. Why not? Because he couldn’t think straight and get from point A to point B without taking several detours. Not anymore. He would follow through with the doctor and therapist, and this week he’d complete his plans for his family.

  “This is good, Brody. I’m so glad you’re doing what you need to do for yourself. We should get back. Do you know what happened to my shirt?”

  He smiled and searched the area. Her shirt landed several feet away behind a clump of purple wildflowers. He picked it up and plucked a flower from the plant. After she pulled her shirt on, he tucked the flower in her hair at her ear. He kissed her softly. “You’re so beautiful. I love you.” He held her in his arms and hugged her.

  “I love you, too.”

  With a deep breath and her in his arms, he settled into the moment like she’d asked him to do. The wind rustled the leaves overhead, birds chirped, and the peace and quiet of this place worked its way inside of him.

  He took her hand and they walked back to the house. “I like it here. We’ll have to come back and make love under the sun again.”

  “Okay,” she replied. That was his Rain. Easygoing, ever ready to be with him again. “Brody?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I really enjoyed today,” she admitted shyly. It went a long way to easing his conscience about the marks he’d left on her.

  “Me too. I needed you, and I knew you’d come.” He took a deep breath and let it out. “This thing with Roxy is really getting to me. I want it to be over, so we can live our lives without her hanging over our heads.”

  “I know how you feel. It’s the last piece of the past to settle, so we can move on. Clean slate and all.”

  “Exactly. I wish she’d call, so I can finish it.”

  He should have known better than to wish Roxy back into his life.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  * * *

  MONDAYS SUCK. AND this Monday particularly sucked. Brody spent half the morning on the phone with his office in Atlanta. His partner insisted they needed him in China in three days. He told them in no uncertain terms, hell no. He had too much going on. More than he could handle, and leaving right now wasn’t an option. He made it clear he wouldn’t take any trips for the next three months. He needed this time with Rain and the kids. So he spent hours working long distance without having a proper office and supplies, like a fax machine and a secretary to keep track of everything he was supposed to do. Someone who could type faster than his henpecking fingers.

  He kept the laptop at the house with him, but he needed his desktop computer at the cabin to retrieve files and put them on the laptop, which prompted his early afternoon jaunt to the cabin where he’d been working for two hours, the sound of progress on the house keeping him from concentrating on his work. He made several mistakes and had to go back and fix them, which made something simple turn into something maddening.

  His focus lately wasn’t great, but with all the noise, he couldn’t seem to keep a single thought in his head for longer than a few minutes. He should have emailed himself the files and gone back to Rain’s place to do his work. He pressed the heel of his hand to his eye socket and rubbed. The headache that started this morning pounded away.

  Rain left this morning looking tired. His fault. He’d kept her up again last night. He woke her up at some point every night. She needed a break, but every time she sat down for more than five minutes he or one of the girls needed her for something. They’d tried to have a quiet evening last night, but the girls were restless and kept giggling and talking in bed instead of sleeping. Rain must have gotten up four or five times to quiet them down. She missed half the movie they had been trying to watch.

  Eli called late that night. Sick, he’d asked Rain to go to the drugstore for some cold medicine. She came back over an hour later, Eli fully medicated, his belly full of canned soup she’d made for him while she was there.

  She climbed the stairs with Brody when she returned to the house. In her sluggish daze, it took her nearly as long as it took him on his bad leg. Two hours after getting into bed together, his arms around her while they slept, he woke her up during one of his nightmares. He’d tried to tell her he was sorry, but she didn’t want to hear it. She clamped her hand over his mouth, laid her head on his chest, and lay there with him in the night. She didn’t
go back to sleep until his heart stopped slamming into his ribs and he finally drifted off. She never did.

  The girls began the morning fighting over who got the last bowl of fruit O’s cereal, only to discover they were out of milk. Dawn settled on cinnamon toast, but Rain used the last of the bread to make the girls’ lunches. Tired, frustrated, and on her last nerve, she shoved granola bars into both girls’ hands and told them to get in the car. Five minutes after leaving for school, she came back through the door, slammed it, and found Autumn’s forgotten backpack. While checking to be sure Autumn’s homework was inside, she found a note from the teacher. Autumn had a bad week at school, prompting the teacher to ask for a parent-teacher conference. Rain and he both knew why. Autumn couldn’t concentrate, became quiet and withdrawn, not participating in the lessons. Roxy coming home terrified her. She worried something bad was going to happen.

  Rain left again, saying, “Your first parent-teacher conference. Welcome to fatherhood.”

  Great. How could he explain his monumental screw-up was coming back to haunt him? Easy, everyone in town knew Roxy’s reputation. The teacher would understand. He should probably tell her to make sure Autumn didn’t leave school with anyone but him, Rain, Owen, or Eli.

  Trying to concentrate on the email he needed to send to the manufacturing manager in China, he blocked out the hammering and sawing and attached the file with the specifications for the changes they were making to their product. For once able to focus on the task at hand, he hit the SEND button and checked off one item from his list of things to do. He hated this new habit of having to write everything down, but it was necessary.

  Reading over his ten new messages in his inbox, he jumped when his cell phone rang for the hundredth time that day. He snagged if off the desk, continued reading an email, and answered absently, “Brody.”

  “Now, that’s the deep, seductive voice I’ve been missing.”

  Brody leaned back heavily in his chair, pressed his forearm to his aching forehead, and looked up at the ceiling. “What the fuck do you want?”

  “Is that any way to talk to the mother of your child?”

  “I speak to Rain with the utmost respect and admiration for being an outstanding mother to my children.” After everything she’d done, just the sound of Roxy’s voice sent a volcanic burst of rage through his gut.

  “I’m Autumn’s mother. Not that bitch you’re shacking up with.”

  “Bullshit. Even you don’t believe that lie.”

  “Whatever she told you is a lie.”

  “You’ve lost your touch. You used to be better at this kind of thing.”

  “We need to meet.”

  “Tell me what you want and let’s get this over with, the sooner the better.”

  “I want to see you. We have things to discuss.”

  “I don’t give a shit what you want, but you’re right, we need to talk. Where should we start? With the way you got my father drunk and let him drive home, or how you kidnapped my daughter, starved her, and locked her in a damn closet for three days?”

  “I have every right to see my daughter any time I damn well please. Whatever Rain got her to lie about isn’t on me. You’d do well not to piss me off. I might not be so agreeable when we meet.”

  “You’ve never been agreeable a day in your life.”

  “I’m at the bar,” she hissed, and hung up.

  Finally, the moment they’d all been waiting for. Time to set his plan in motion. He stood, but sat again and hit the speed dial on his phone. He wanted to keep Rain out of this, but because of her, Autumn hadn’t grown up with that viper.

  “Hey, honey, how are you?”

  Reassured, he smiled, because just the sound of her voice made him happy. “I’m having one hell of a day, but right now, this minute, I’m good. What are you doing?”

  “Rebuilding an engine,” she said matter-of-factly. He liked that about her: she took for granted the skills her father taught her from birth. Most women couldn’t even change a tire. Her voice kicked into low gear when she asked, “What are you wearing?”

  “If you were here with me, it’d be nothing at all.”

  “Then, I can’t wait to see you,” she purred, making him smile even more.

  “Rain.” He put all his emotions into her name. He wanted nothing more than to drive to town, bypass Roxy’s bar and go straight to Rain, take her in his arms, strip her bare, and make love to her for the rest of the night.

  “What is it, Brody? Is it the visions? Do you need me?”

  “I always need you.”

  “I need you, too. Tell me what’s going on. Talk to me.”

  He took a deep breath and spit it out. “Roxy called. I’m headed down to the bar to talk to her.”

  “Do you want me to meet you there?”

  “No. I think I’ll get farther if I go alone. Besides, I’ll only have to bail you out of jail after you kill her.”

  “True. Brody, I’m worried.”

  “You’ve taken care of our girls alone for more than seven years. Let me take care of all my girls this time. I promise, I won’t let her hurt you or the girls.”

  “Okay. Will you come straight home when you’re done?”

  “There’s no place I’d rather be.” He meant every word.

  “Do you have the papers for her to sign?”

  “In my truck. Not that I’m confident I’ll get her to sign them at this first meeting.”

  “Why would you have to see her again? Make her the offer and get her to sign.”

  “Right now, she thinks she’s got me by the balls, calling and telling me to come to her. I want to see what she wants. Once I know what her demands are, I can start negotiating.”

  “Autumn is not on the table.”

  “No way,” he confirmed. “Let me do this, Rain. I’ll play it her way at first, get a read on her and what’s going on in her life. If she’s desperate enough, we might get this done quick.”

  “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

  “You.”

  “I’m dessert.”

  She yawned and it reminded him again how little sleep she’d been getting, the stress she was under taking care of all of them, and this thing with Roxy.

  “How are you, Rain?”

  “I’m fine. Don’t forget we’re meeting Autumn’s teacher before school tomorrow.”

  “I know. You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

  “You know why Autumn is upset. Once this mess is cleaned up, she’ll get back to normal. We’ll help her to feel safe again.”

  “It’ll be over soon, but I was talking about you.”

  “I’m fine, Brody.” His name came out on another yawn. She took care of all of them, but he hadn’t done a good job of taking care of her.

  “How about I bring home dinner tonight? You can rest until I get home.”

  “Sounds great.”

  “I love you.”

  “I know you do. And, Brody . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t let Roxy piss you off again.”

  “Never again. Are you pregnant?”

  She laughed. “How am I supposed to know that already?” she teased, because of his anxious need to know. “Maybe,” she conceded. “We won’t know for a couple weeks.”

  The last two nights, they’d made love without using protection. He’d grabbed a condom, but she’d tossed it back on the bedside table.

  “Let’s make a baby,” she said.

  “You’ll have to marry me, then. I’m not having any more babies with you unless you become my wife.”

  “You still haven’t asked me.”

  “I will,” he said against her throat. He’d joined their bodies in one powerful thrust, all talk of marriage stopped, and the baby-making was his pleasure and hers.

  He came back to the conversation, hoping they’d made a baby. “You’ll tell me when you know.”

  “You’ll be the first. If I do get pregnant, I’d like to wait to t
ell the girls.”

  “We’ll tell them the day we get married.”

  She didn’t say anything. After all, he hadn’t asked her. Yet.

  “I’ll see you tonight. Oh, and Brody . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “If you get arrested, I’ll bail you out.”

  “You always do, whenever I need you.”

  Brody checked his watch. They’d been on the phone for twenty minutes. It would take him another twenty to get into town. Roxy should be good and mad, thinking he’d hop to it and drive down to meet her immediately. Calling Rain had been a great idea. He felt better, less anxious, his anger under control.

  “Make her sign the papers, even if you have to stand on her neck to do it.”

  “You’re brutal, honey.”

  “I’m always sweet to you.”

  “Yeah, you are. I’ll see you soon.”

  After their goodbyes, he tucked his phone in his pocket, transferred the rest of his files, and closed out his email. He’d finish work at Rain’s place after dinner.

  Before leaving the cabin, he spoke to Jim one last time, noted the perimeter walls were up on the new foundation. The guys had done a fair amount of work that day, and he’d survived their constant pounding and sawing. The construction company putting up the barn and stables would begin next week. Everything was moving along.

  The house would be finished in a few months. Long before the baby arrived. He and Rain needed to set a date for their wedding. Soon. First, he’d have to ask her. He knew just what he wanted to do, but before he’d have his wife and family under one roof, he had to take care of his fucked-up past.

  She was waiting for him at the bar.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  * * *

  BRODY PULLED INTO the parking lot of Roxy’s bar nearly an hour after she’d called him. The parking lot wasn’t full, but several cars lined the front of the two-story building. The neon sign glowed blue; at night it would cast an eerie light over the solid double wood doors with the horseshoe handles. The windows were high and filled with neon beer signs.