Blood Guilt

by Marie Treanor

  Robbie absorbed power. And Maximilian had given him some. Like Gavril, he’d read her parents’ research.

  Robbie grabbed his freedom with glee, bounding out of reach of John’s out-flung hand to rush on Maximilian, who caught him up in one arm. Which still left him with one free, and no one made the mistake of forgetting it.

  Cyn cried out, “No!” Baffled, angry, she turned on Mihaela. “Is he hypnotized or something?”

  “No. He loves him.” Mihaela’s voice cracked. Oh God, we both do.

  Maximilian wasn’t even looking at her. He began to run with the blurring speed of the strongest vampires. Robbie managed to grin and wave to her over Maximilian’s shoulder. And then they were both gone.

  Chapter Eighteen

  He knew she was coming.

  If he was there, he knew. There was no way to surprise him. All she could do as she walked along the familiar passage to the hotel room door was let the hidden stake in her sleeve drop down into her palm.

  The night had turned chilly in the hour before dawn, and she shivered. He’d been at least one step ahead all through the second part of the night. While Mihaela had gone to the vampires’ farmhouse to retrieve her parents’ research paper, John and Cyn had raced back to Mgarr, the ferry port on Gozo, arriving just as a ferry left. There had been no sign of Robbie or Maximilian on it. They could still be on Gozo for all Mihaela knew. But Cyn was sure Maximilian would make for the airport in Valetta, and so Mihaela had caught the next ferry, with Cyn and John.

  Maximilian could easily have made the airport by now. Or any other shelter from the daylight. And yet as she’d stood on the ferry deck in the darkness, it came to Mihaela that he would simply go “home.” That he’d know she would come. There was unfinished business between them.

  She’d held herself aloof from Cyn and John, who seemed to regard her, in an embarrassed sort of a way, as a still-good person led astray. Well, perhaps they were right there; she just wasn’t sure how. She just knew that the expression in Maximilian’s eyes when he’d thrown her Gavril had held the contempt and the pain not of the betrayer but the betrayed.

  There had been too much going on at the time to properly recognize the fact or to think through the reasons behind it. But on the short ferry crossing, she’d known she would come here alone. And that she would say nothing to Cyn and John, whom she owed nothing after all. It wasn’t their betrayal that hurt—she barely knew them. It was Konrad’s.

  And so here she was, outside the hotel room where she’d made love with the vampire Maximilian. She had to know Robbie was safe. But there was more, so much more.

  The door swung open before she got there. Her step faltered, her fingers flexed, and she kept walking.

  Maximilian stood just inside the door, watching her.

  She lifted her chin to bear the coldness of his gaze and walked past him. Every nerve in her body shrieked awareness, of danger and of him. He wore T-shirt and jeans, as usual. Muscles corded his arms, arms that had held her, that she’d caressed.

  And then Robbie bounded out of the bathroom, and she held out one arm to him—the arm that wasn’t concealing the stake. Robbie grinned with unabashed delight and ran to hug her.

  “Mihaela! I knew you’d come! Max said you might have gone with the other lady and the man, but I was right!”

  He twisted his head round to grin at Maximilian in a crowing kind of way, and the vampire inclined his head very slightly by way of acknowledgement.

  “They’ve gone to the airport,” Mihaela managed as Robbie pulled free. “I wanted to be sure you were all right.”

  This time, the child’s smile faltered slightly. “I’m fine, ken?” he said.

  “I ken,” Mihaela said gently. Her heart ached, but there was nothing more she could do or say at this point. He needed time, a very long time in a settled home with people who loved him and understood him.

  “Hey, look,” Robbie said, grabbing a T-shirt off the bed. “Max says I can sleep in that—it comes down to my ankles!”

  “And some,” Mihaela smiled. “Were you going for a shower?” He was grubby, as if he hadn’t washed under the new clothes the vampires had given him. And close up, his breath smelled.

  “Max said I should.” Robbie wrinkled his nose.

  “Quite right,” Mihaela approved lightly. She delved inside her bag and emerged with the toothbrush she’d managed to buy in an all-night shop by the ferry terminal. “I thought you might need one of these.”

  Vampires didn’t need to brush their teeth, so toothbrushes were very unlikely to have entered the heads of any of them. Robbie snatched it as if it were a rare gift.

  “Thanks,” he said eagerly. “Can I brush them now?”

  “Absolutely.” She went into the little bathroom with him, helped him open the packet, and squeezed toothpaste onto the brush from her own tube, which was still sitting in the glass where she’d left it. Then she watched critically as he brushed his teeth. He’d obviously been taught the correct way to do this at some point, and he seemed to enjoy showing off to her.

  She put the shower on, showed him her shower gel and shampoo, which he claimed to know how to use, and left him to it. Then, unable to put it off any longer, she walked back into the main bedroom.

  Maximilian was sitting on the end of the bed, gazing at the window. Since the curtains were fully shut against the dawn light, he couldn’t have seen much of interest.

  Unfinished business. If he were going to kill her, he’d do it now while Robbie couldn’t see. But he didn’t even turn. Mihaela stood very still and waited.

  He said, “Why did you believe Ferdinand?”

  She let her breath out slowly. Everything that was said now would have critical importance. Words, mere words, could determine who lived and who died. “There was truth in what he said,” she answered. “And you avoided telling me.”

  “There was a lot between Ferdinand and me. I was looking for a reason not to kill him. If he’d have helped us, I’d have had an excuse.”

  Jesus. It sounded so much like her and Konrad. She too would always try to find a way out for a former friend. Her fist clenched and unclenched at her side. “Could you not have told me that?”

  “No. Not then.” He turned his head at last and looked at her. “But you didn’t tell me either about Cyn and John Ramsay.”

  “I wanted them as backup,” she whispered. “To care for Robbie if we failed. I didn’t know Konrad had turned them against us.”

  “Us,” he repeated, and she felt the flush rise into her cheeks. He rose to his feet and walked toward her. Her heart beat and beat. It was all she could hear. She had to force herself to meet his profound, reflective gaze, to look up into his face as he came to a halt, close to her and yet not touching.

  She palmed the stake in her sleeve. If he noticed the movement, he gave no sign.

  “Mihaela. There is no trust between us. There is feeling. Attraction. Sex. But no trust.”

  Misery swamped her because she couldn’t deny it. She couldn’t deny the feeling, the attraction, or the beauty of the sex either. What were any of these things without trust? Anything real between them had always been impossible, and yet the pain of loss and shame rose up from her toes, took hold of her heart, and squeezed until she gasped. His pale eyes glinted like dark, half-tarnished silver and yet remained reflective as they always were. And as she stared, unable to look away, because she’d never be able to look at him this way again, she saw that what they reflected was her own pain.

  Her mouth opened to speak, but with one of his sudden movements, he’d already swung away.

  Her phone rang into the silence, incongruously cheery. She fished it from her pocket and answered like an automaton.

  It was Elizabeth. “Mihaela? Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I just got this panicked call from Cyn. She says the earthquake threat is over but that Robbie is still missing. Only then she said Maximilian had him, so I don’t know what’
s going on. To be honest, she wasn’t making a lot of sense. I didn’t even know she was out there.”

  “Robbie is with Maximilian.” Her throat closed up. “And me. Konrad sent Cyn and John Ramsay to take Robbie. Not to help me. He used Cyn’s hatred of vampires to get her to do it.”

  She closed her eyes, aware the step she’d been putting off had to be taken now. Truth be told, she’d made her decision long ago, on the night of the battle in the hunters’ library, but it was time to face it and take the consequences.

  “Elizabeth, we can’t trust Konrad anymore.”

  Elizabeth’s voice came back at once, little more than a whisper in her sympathy. “I know. I’m sorry, Mihaela. He isn’t a bad man, just a blinkered one.”

  “He’s doing wrong things.”

  “Then we’ll keep making them right until we can make him see sense,” Elizabeth said robustly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m fine. I just need to sleep. Thanks for calling me.”

  “Go to bed, Mihaela. Call me later.”

  “I will.” She broke the connection and went to fish Robbie out of the shower.

  Because Robbie seemed to want it, she and Maximilian sat on either side of his bed in the room Mihaela had used the first night here. Drowned in Maximilian’s T-shirt, he looked tiny but cozy and contented as he closed his eyes and drifted almost at once into exhausted sleep.

  “Is he?” Mihaela blurted as Maximilian stood up. “Contented?”

  “He’s at peace for now.”

  Mihaela swallowed, lifting her gaze from the boy’s angelic face to Maximilian’s. “What are we going to do?” she whispered.

  Again, he turned away from her. “Go to sleep, Mihaela. You’re dead on your feet.”

  Like you. The silent joke made her lips curve into the semblance of a smile. But she stood like an old woman and made her way slowly into the bathroom to shower off the dirt and the blood and the feel of death.

  Then, without even glancing toward the main room, she tumbled into the bed next to Robbie’s and slept.

  ****

  Although she didn’t think she’d slept for very long, she woke to a beam of sun on her face and immediately turned her head to the next bed. It was empty.

  In a panic, she leapt up and hurried to the door into the main room, where she came to an abrupt halt.

  Robbie sat cross-legged on the big double bed, opposite Maximilian, who’d assumed the same position. Between them were sheaves of papers and a number of pens and pencils, as if they’d been drawing together. But for now their heads were together, and they were deep in quiet conversation. Robbie didn’t even notice she was there. Maximilian knew. It was in the tension of his shoulders, but he didn’t once take his eyes off the boy.

  New pain closed around her heart. She turned and padded back to bed. But as she drew the covers up to her ears and stared into the curtained window, she realized with surprise that the pain was pleasant. More of a pleasurable ache, because it was so intensely good to see the two of them together.

  Mihaela closed her eyes. Impossible dreams of a faithful lover, of a home and family and happiness seeped back into her heart and mind. Because, when he’d told her there was no trust, her pain had been reflected in his eyes. Maximilian hurt.

  But she was tired, so very tired, and it seemed she could no longer recognize the impossible.

  The next time she woke up, Robbie was asleep in his bed. His body clock must have been completely disrupted by living with the vampires. Mihaela crept out of bed. She thought of getting dressed, but she didn’t want to wake him just yet. Besides, there were things she needed to say to Maximilian while Robbie wasn’t around to hear.

  She’d never gone in for sexy nightwear, so the sleep-shirt she wore was neither revealing nor alluring, although as soon as she saw Maximilian stretched out on his own bed, fully dressed, she became ridiculously aware of the fact that she wore no underwear.

  He must have known she was there, but he didn’t look at her until she sat down on the very edge of his bed. Then he turned his dark head, and his gaze struck her like a blow that left her winded.

  “You’re right,” she said quietly. “There is no trust between us. I’ve been killing vampires all my adult life, and before that, I was killing them in my head. The only people I care for kill them too. And yes, you were right in Scotland as well: I don’t care for many people. After my family, there were only the hunters who looked after me, and then more hunters that I worked with. Elizabeth is the best friend I should have had at school but didn’t.”

  He could have sneered. But he didn’t. On the other hand, he didn’t say anything either, just searched her face while she spoke, mostly her eyes and her mouth. Her words stumbled under his expressionless scrutiny, but she was determined to get them out.

  “Outside of that world, I care for nobody. I don’t have relationships with men. The bastards I’ve known you couldn’t even call lovers, because there was no love involved. On either side. It was only sex. And if the truth be told, it wasn’t even very good sex.”

  Maximilian stirred. “Are you including sex with me in this category?”

  She drew in her breath, threading her hair between her fingers and hanging on to it like a lifeline. “No. I’m telling you about them to try and explain why it doesn’t come easily to—to do relationships. With you.”

  “I know that.” He turned and drew himself into a sitting position, his back against the pillows.

  “I don’t trust men. Lovers. I’ve had no reason to. I’ve always picked bastards quite deliberately.”

  “It made it more exciting for you.”

  She smiled unhappily. “Perhaps.”

  “And a vampire bastard was even more exciting. You liked the danger.” His voice was flat, expressionless, and she had to hang on to the memory of the pain in his eyes in order to keep going.

  “I think I did. It wasn’t an attraction I understood or wanted. Until Elizabeth’s thing with Saloman, I didn’t even know vampires had feelings. But that night, I saw them together after the fight in the library and even I couldn’t doubt the depth of his love for her. That’s what made it worse with you. I wanted you very badly, and no matter how much I told myself it was just sex, there was always the possibility of more hidden at the back of my mind.”

  She tugged on her hair. “And then it became more. Here, in Malta. I felt it grow. I don’t know you, Maximilian. You’re hundreds of years old, and there’s too much to ever know. But I think you felt it too.”

  He didn’t deny it. He didn’t do anything except look at her, and she might have imagined the silver glinting in his pale, gray eyes.

  “Things like this don’t happen to me, Max,” she whispered. “I was just waiting, waiting for something to pull it down. I thought it was Ferdinand who did. But it wasn’t. It was me.”

  Tears choked her, and she had to swallow them down, swiping her shoulder against her eye to hide the emotion.

  “I can’t bring it back,” she managed. “But we have more to think about than you and me. We have Robbie. There’s some connection between him and us. I think he needs us both, and I want to suggest to you that we look after him together. Like his parents. And maybe in time, you’ll feel something for me again. If you don’t, it doesn’t matter,” she added quickly. “Just be there for Robbie when he needs you. Hell, we’ll both be dead in a few years anyway.”

  The last came out on a laugh, but she was aware how easily it could turn into a sob, and she sprang up from the bed, already running away from him when he moved, blurring across the bed to seize her wrist and jerk her back.

  She fell onto the bed, and he loomed over her.

  “I feel,” he whispered. “I feel for you. If the love is there, we can learn to trust.”

  She touched his cheek, his lips. “Love,” she whispered. “You said ‘love.’”

  “What would you call it?”

  She began to smile, not sure she could bear any of this. “I’d
call it love,” she said and kissed him.

  There was a jerk as her night shirt was ripped and flung across the floor. His weight was on her, between her thighs, hard and heavy and so exciting that she had to push upward into his hips. Even his clothes couldn’t hide the rigid erection she rubbed against. And then his teeth bit into her throat, and her mouth opened in a silent cry. Her blood streamed out of her veins and into his mouth and she clung to him in the dizziness of sudden bliss. His body bucked, moving with speeds she could barely see or understand. Just that a moment later, he was naked in her arms, drinking more of her blood and pushing inside her. The world rocked with wild, savage pleasure, and she was about to lose control.

  “What if Robbie wakes up?” she gasped, hanging on to the last, almost invisible thread.

  He detached his teeth from her neck and licked greedily at the wound.

  “Our door is temporarily locked. He’ll have to get used to that, because it’s going to happen a lot.”

  Her hands scrabbled at his back, feeling it ripple and shake under her caress as the intensity rushed on her, breaking like some endless wave over her helpless, convulsing body.

  “Oh yes,” Maximilian whispered, and she felt his mouth return to her wound, gulping down the blood with her pleasure as he rammed into her hard and stayed there. He reared up with the force of his climax, leaving her throat at last. Her blood was on his teeth, his lips, and she’d never seen anything so exciting in her life. And when he fell on her mouth for a long, fierce kiss, her world felt perfect.

  Or almost. “You,” she panted against his lips, “are going to have to buy me iron supplements.”

  She had her reward when his lips smiled on hers. “I will,” he promised. “This is a special occasion, and I couldn’t help myself. But I promise I won’t take so much again.” He kissed her and rolled so that she lay sprawled on top of him. “Or at least, not at once,” he amended.

  She propped her chin on his chest to regard him. “You’re actually quite appallingly truthful, aren’t you?”