Kept Secrets

by Traci Hunter Abramson

  Devin wanted time alone with his wife, especially since his explanation of his disappearance was largely classified, so he was grateful when Caleb put his hand on his wife’s arm and said, “Why don’t you let Devin and Grace have some time together while we check in? I’m sure we’ll have a chance to hang out later.”

  Before Molly could object, Devin started toward the house and called over his shoulder, “I’ll catch you all later.” He jogged across the snowy lawn and onto the covered porch, his backpack bouncing against his shoulder. He rapped on the door, waiting for a minute before repeating the action. When no one answered, he turned back to where his friends had been standing a moment before.

  Frustrated, he started toward the welcome bungalow. He was halfway there when a man around twenty rode up on horseback and appeared to be heading to the barn a short distance away.

  Devin waved a hand in greeting, and the man guided his horse toward him.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, I’m looking for Grace Shanahan.”

  “Sorry, she isn’t here right now. Can I get a message to her?”

  “Do you know where she is?” The man looked hesitant, so Devin added, “I’m Devin Shanahan, Grace’s husband.”

  Instantly the man’s demeanor changed. “I was wondering when you were going to show up. Looks like you’re here just in time.”

  “Just in time?”

  “Grace has been in the hospital for the past couple weeks. Quentin is up visiting her right now.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “Seemed to be last time I saw her.”

  “Can you tell me where the hospital is?”

  “Sure.” He swung down out of the saddle and gave Devin directions. Digging a set of keys out of his pocket, he unclipped one and handed it to Devin. “Here. You can take one of the ranch vehicles. This key is to the red truck over there.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. I’m sure Quentin would offer it if he was here.”

  “Thanks a lot. I really appreciate it.”

  “Give Grace my best.”

  “I didn’t catch your name.”

  “I’m Curt.”

  Devin shook Curt’s hand. “Thanks again for your help, Curt.”

  With a nod, Curt took his horse’s reins and started toward the barn once more.

  Devin headed the other direction, his pace quickening as he approached the truck.

  He climbed into the work vehicle, adjusted the seat, and headed out. Thirty minutes later, he showed his ID at the visitors’ desk and headed toward his wife’s room.

  He passed a small waiting area and heard someone call his name. He took two more steps, thinking whoever it was was talking to another Devin.

  “Devin.” A man’s voice called out a second time.

  He turned as Quentin rose from a chair in the waiting room. The protectiveness Devin had observed at their first meeting was nothing compared to the wave of hostility emanating from the older man now.

  Deciding Grace’s grandfather deserved whatever explanation he could give, Devin closed the distance between them. “Before you go home and get your shotgun, I promise you, I would have been here months ago if I could have.”

  “What in the world was important enough to keep you away for so long?” Quentin demanded.

  “Grace’s safety.”

  “Grace’s safety?” The look on Quentin’s face made Devin think he should duck to avoid a punch.

  “Yes.” Devin raked his fingers through his hair. “I can’t explain, at least not right now, but I’ve never stopped loving her, and I’ve been through a lot to get here.”

  “You’ve been through a lot?” He folded his arms across his chest. “Grace has been through hell. First those guys break into her apartment, and then she ends up living with me, hoping you would come back but terrified something had happened to you.”

  “Does she know who broke into her apartment?”

  “Some Chinese nationals. The cops picked one of them up, but he had diplomatic immunity so they had to let him go.” Quentin lowered his voice. “Grace has a theory as to why she hasn’t heard from you. From what I understand, it’s not something we would want to discuss in public.”

  Devin’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Please tell me she doesn’t hate me.”

  “Until she ended up here, I’d catch her staring out the window every day. She knew you’d find her eventually,” Quentin said. “That’s not to say she’s going to roll out the red carpet. I imagine you have some groveling to do. Disappearing out of your wife’s life for six months isn’t exactly something that’s going to be forgiven overnight.”

  Five months, two weeks, and four days, Devin thought to himself.

  “Is her room that way?” Devin asked.

  “The doctor is with her now.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “She went into labor three weeks ago. The doctors were able to stop it in time, but they kept her here to be safe.”

  “I need to see her.”

  “The doctor will come out as soon as he’s done.”

  “But she’s okay.”

  “Yeah, she’s okay.”

  Devin rubbed both hands over his face, his relief over her safety combining with anxiety over how she would react now that he was back. He tried to bank his emotions and looked once more at Quentin. “I promise, I came as soon as I could. I still can’t believe I didn’t know she was pregnant.”

  “You didn’t know she was pregnant?”

  Devin shook his head. “Not until Sean told me today.”

  A doctor exited a room three doors down and headed toward them.

  “Dr. Gilmore, this is Devin Shanahan, Grace’s husband.”

  The doctor extended his hand. “I didn’t realize you were in town.”

  “I just arrived.” Devin pointed toward Grace’s room. “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything is going well. As I told your wife, we expect she will be able to deliver any time now.”

  Devin didn’t want to admit to a stranger that he was unaware of his wife’s condition. It had been hard enough to admit his ignorance to her grandfather. Instead, he asked, “May I see her?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Devin, tell Grace I’ll be back to visit her again tomorrow. I think you two need some time alone.”

  “Thank you.” Devin headed for Grace’s door and stopped a few feet from the opening. He took a deep breath and prayed that his wife would be happy to see him.

  Chapter 41

  She must be hallucinating. Grace blinked three times, but instead of the image of her husband disappearing, Devin moved farther into the room and closed the door behind him.

  “Devin?” She shifted in her bed, blinking several more times, now to fight against the tears that sprang to her eyes as a result of her conflicting emotions—relief, irritation, love, frustration. First and foremost, she needed to make sure she really wasn’t dreaming. “Is that really you?”

  “It’s me.” He crossed to her, and she sensed his hesitation.

  “Where have you been? How could you just stop calling me like that for so long?”

  “I know you may not believe this, but I was trying to protect you.” Devin lowered himself onto the chair beside her bed, and she couldn’t help but see the tormented expression on his face. “You must hate me.”

  “I could never hate you, but I need to understand what happened. Why did you stop calling me?”

  “I’m so sorry. I swear if there had been a way to contact you, I would have.”

  The sharpest edge of the worry and doubts she had suffered over the past months eased when he reached out and took her hand. Not quite ready to forgive him, she kept her hand palm down. “Can you tell me what happened?” Grace asked. “Were you in Hong Kong this whole time?”

  Devin looked around the room as though analyzing it, then lowered his voice. “I can’t say much here, but there’s a lot I haven’t told you about who I work for.”<
br />
  Grace drew a deep breath. As much as she wanted to simply accept him back into her life, she needed to know if he was going to stay. “I need to know where you were, Devin. I need to know you aren’t going to disappear like this again.”

  “I’ll do whatever I can to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” Devin said. He pressed his lips together and seemed to muster his courage. “I work for the CIA.”

  The words felt surreal even after all of her suspicions. “Grandpa thought I was crazy when I said I had married a spy.”

  “You got my message.”

  “I didn’t understand it, but I knew it was from you.” Her eyes met his. “You should have told me who you worked for before we got married.”

  “I thought I was going to be working in an office somewhere. I never knew I was going to be asked to work in the field until the assignment had already been processed. And I certainly wouldn’t have gone overseas had I known it would put you in danger.”

  “Grandpa told you about the break-in at my apartment in New York, then?”

  “He did.” Devin looked around the room again. “I wanted to come back so badly, but some of the people there were threatening you. I couldn’t risk your safety. You mean everything to me.”

  The concern in his eyes told her just how serious the threats had been, and a ripple of fear shot through her. “Are we safe now?”

  “I think so. I have people making sure we stay that way.” He seemed like he was going to say something else, but instead he waved at her enormous abdomen. “I feel like such an idiot. I had no idea you were pregnant.”

  “I couldn’t figure out why you were so casual about it when I said I had morning sickness.”

  “I didn’t realize that meant . . .”

  “It’s okay.” She managed a watery smile. “Although I had a nice little gift I was going to bring to you when we met in London. I was going to tell you then. I hoped you would be excited about the news.”

  “I never really thought about being a father before, but now I can’t think of anything I want more than to start a family with you. I’m sorry I ruined your surprise when I had to cancel our trip.” He shook his head. “You must have been ready to shoot me.”

  “The thought may have crossed my mind,” Grace said. “I guess at that point it was a good thing we were living on opposite sides of the world.”

  “I’m here now,” Devin said, stating the obvious. “And I want to stay with you from now on if you’ll let me.”

  Grace blinked, and a tear spilled over. She turned her hand so she could link her fingers with his.

  He stood and reached out to wipe away the tear. Then he leaned down, hesitating only briefly before he pressed his lips to hers.

  As though the babies knew what was happening, a ripple of movement distorted her stomach further.

  When Devin pulled back, she took his hand and pressed it to her stomach. “Here. Feel.”

  Almost instantly another movement rolled beneath his palm. The wonder in his eyes made her smile. “Pretty amazing, huh?”

  “Yeah,” he said, though he suddenly looked panicked. “I’m really going to be a father?”

  “Any day now.” She watched him closely. “Sorry you didn’t have more time to get used to the idea, but—”

  “You tried to warn me,” he finished for her. He hesitated a moment before asking, “Are you okay with all this?”

  “I am. How about you?”

  He didn’t speak for a moment, and a little thread of doubt skittered through her. If he had doubts now, how would he feel when she told him the rest? She opened her mouth, and once again, his words sounded before she could form hers.

  “I need you to promise me something,” Devin said.

  “Okay.”

  “Promise me we’ll be like your family. I want to be like your dad and grandpa. I want to be involved in our kid’s life.”

  “Devin, you’ll be a wonderful father.”

  “I have a pretty big learning curve.”

  “I don’t think it’s nearly as big as you think.” Grace pushed up in her bed, trying to get comfortable, but the dull ache in her back didn’t seem to go away with the change in position. She rested her hand on her stomach and looked down at it. “I never thought it was possible for me to be this big.”

  He put his hand on hers, his expression serious. “You’re beautiful.”

  Her lips curved. “That was a really good answer.”

  “I mean it.”

  “There’s something else you need to know.”

  “What?”

  The ache in her back increased, and she shifted again. Within seconds, her breath caught as the pain spread and her heartbeat quickened in anticipation. She recognized the sensation now and gripped Devin’s hand as the pain built and her stomach tightened. She closed her eyes, keeping her breathing steady until the worst of it passed. When she opened her eyes once more, concern washed over her husband’s face.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Devin, call the doctor. I think I’m going into labor.”

  * * *

  Never before had Devin felt so helpless. Nurses arrived within a minute of receiving the call, shuffling around equipment and speaking in terms he didn’t understand. The doctor arrived a moment later.

  “Let’s see how we’re doing,” Dr. Gilmore said, his eyes lifting to look at a monitor. “Everything is looking good. Can you feel the babies moving?”

  Grace opened her eyes, the pain apparently easing for a moment. “I can feel them.”

  “Them?” Devin’s already turbulent emotions turned into a tornado inside him. His eyes darted up to the fetal monitor and back to Grace. “Twins?”

  Grace didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Another surge of pain had rendered her speechless. Her eyes closed again as though that might block any unwanted sensations, and Devin looked over to Dr. Gilmore for confirmation.

  “Twins,” he stated simply. He examined Grace before speaking once more. “I have a few more patients to check on, but a nurse will stay close by. I imagine it will be a few hours before your little ones will make their appearance.”

  Stunned, Devin watched the doctor strip off his gloves and leave the room. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the idea of being a father to one child, much less two. When Grace’s pain subsided, he reached out and took her hand. Whether he was ready for fatherhood or not, he was determined to be here for Grace now.

  For the next eight hours, he stood by Grace’s side and watched her try to shut out the pain. He knew her rhythm now. The moment the contraction began to build, her eyes would close and her breathing pattern would change. At first her breathing slowed as she worked through the contractions, but now her breaths were short and shallow.

  Nurses had come in and out to check on them, but now the room was crowded with hospital personnel. Besides Grace’s regular doctor, a pediatrician had joined them for the impending delivery as well as two nurses.

  “Okay, Grace. Almost there,” Dr. Gilmore encouraged her. “One more good push.”

  Devin watched her body tense, and then it was over, and the baby cried.

  Devin looked from Grace to the miracle that had come from her—the miracle that had come from them. The pink little face scrunched in dismay, and their baby let out another wail. The emotions that shot through him were indescribable.

  “We’ve got a girl,” Dr. Gilmore announced. He handed the baby to the nurse, who had stepped forward.

  “She’s beautiful,” Devin murmured and reached for Grace’s hand. “Just like her mother.”

  Grace’s body relaxed briefly and then, as though her labor had never ceased, her hand gripped his like a vice.

  “Okay, Grace. One more time,” Dr. Gilmore encouraged.

  “I don’t think I can do this,” Grace said, looking desperate and exhausted.

  “You can do it,” Dr. Gilmore said. “I see the head.”

  Two minutes later, Devin watched
their second miracle being born.

  * * *

  Grace opened her eyes, feeling like she was waking up from a nightmare to find the sun finally peeking out over the horizon. The moment she stirred, Devin crossed the room to her.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I was run over by a truck.”

  “That’s not surprising.”

  “How are the babies?” Grace asked.

  “Beautiful, strong, healthy.” Devin beamed down at her. “I can’t believe we have two daughters.”

  “I can’t believe you made it back for their birthday.”

  “I guess it’s been a day for miracles.” An odd expression crossed his face. “What are we going to name them?”

  “I was thinking about Madeline Rose and Lydia Catherine.”

  “Rose after your mother, and Catherine after mine.”

  “Is that okay? I know you aren’t very close to your parents, but I kind of like the idea of using family names.”

  “I do too.”

  Someone knocked on the door, and then two nurses entered, each pushing a bassinet with a baby wrapped in a white, blue, and pink striped blanket.

  “The doctor said these little ones did great on their hearing tests.”

  Grace pushed herself up in her bed and held her arms out when the nurse closest to her settled one of the babies into her arms. The love that flowed through her was instant and overwhelming. The sensation repeated when her second daughter was placed into the crook of Devin’s arm.

  “We’ll give you a few minutes with the babies before you feed them,” one nurse said. “I’ll come back in a little bit to see if you need any help.”

  “Thank you.”

  Grace stared down at the infant in her arms and then studied the baby Devin held. “What do you think?”

  “I think I’m holding Madeline.”

  Her smile was instant. “Then this must be Lydia.”

  “I hope the nurses can give us some advice on how to tell them apart.”

  Another knock sounded at the door, and Grace smiled when her grandfather peeked in.

  “Come meet your great-granddaughters,” Grace said.

  “My goodness, are they tiny.” He closed the distance between them and reached down to touch Lydia. She wrapped her hand around his finger, and Grace could swear she saw a bond between them developing already.