by Jillian Hart
Then he spoke. “Yes, I was alone. My wife was the only close family I had left. My parents had already passed. They’d been told they could never have children and for one reason or another, adoption didn’t work out for them. I came as quite a surprise rather late in their life. Mom said she went to three doctors before she believed the diagnosis of pregnancy. They were in their late fifties when I graduated high school. In their sixties when I married. I still miss them.”
Aubrey waited while William paused, feeling the stillness of the mountains become more solemn and the caring for him grow stronger. She didn’t only hear the love for his parents in his voice, she could feel it in the air between them, in the silence, and in her own heart. He was, beyond a doubt, a big-hearted man. Sympathy filled her, and she waited, wanting to reach out and not knowing if she should.
He gathered the knotted ends of Jet’s reins from where they’d fallen in the grass. “In the end, it was just me watching Kylie waste away in a coma. Knowing there was a little bit less of her with every day that passed until she was gone. The accident happened around the time we’d been talking about having kids. So, we never had the chance. When I buried Kylie, there was no one close to me. That’s why I owe Jonas so much. I was too numb to deal with anything, and he helped me with the funeral and all the arrangements. On his own time. That was beyond the call of duty, and I never forgot what he did.”
She heard what he didn’t say. There was no one close to help him through his grief. No one near to help ease that unquenchable loneliness and drowning grief. “What about friends? The church?”
He shook his head, as if he did not have the heart to say more.
“I am sorry.” She could feel his pain as tangible as the earth at her feet.
“Home was Chicago. We were on vacation. I’d spent time here before, but I was always working. We were bike riding along some of the country roads that parallel Lewis and Clark’s trail when an elderly driver lost control and hit her. I was knocked into the ditch and barely bruised, but Kylie, she—” Pain broke in his voice and he fell silent. The saddle creaked slightly as he mounted up. “I couldn’t leave her grave to go back home, so I stayed here in Montana.”
Alone. Aubrey had never hurt for anyone as much as she did for William. “But you had friends. Extended family. People you could trust who cared?”
“Yes, and no. I pulled away.” Settled in his saddle, he spun Jet away from her, keeping his back to her.
But he couldn’t hide a thing. She could feel the broken pieces of his heart in the deepest core of her being. A pain too deep to measure. A loss too huge to ever overcome.
“I pulled away,” he said with a hollow voice, “because it seemed like everywhere I turned there were people trying to take advantage.”
“Like reporters? I don’t remember anything in the papers.”
“It didn’t merit a lot of attention at the time. In Illinois it did. I’d gone back home at first to make the arrangements, to have the funeral there, but I was inundated. Overwhelmed. The reporters were part of it, but to this day it still surprises me that there were some women approaching me every time I turned around. Women who basically thought the grieving widower might be an advantage to them. They were gold diggers, and I couldn’t believe their nerve. I’d lost everything; and then I lost my illusions about people, too.”
“Some people,” she corrected him.
When he didn’t answer, she mounted up, too, not at all sure if she should. They were surrounded by such beauty, by God’s grace in every flower and tree and rock. This did not feel like the right place for such darkness and sadness. “If only there was something I could do for you.”
At first, William didn’t move. Not a flinch, not a tensing of a single muscle, not even a breath. Maybe he hadn’t heard her, she thought. Then he spoke.
“You already have.” He pressed Jet into a quick walk and headed east, as if into the rising sun.
“There’s one more thing I want to show you.” William broke the long stillness that had settled between them. It wasn’t easy. What he wanted to do was to retreat back into his silence and withdraw. To put distance between them and keep it there. He hadn’t revealed so much of himself to anyone since he’d lost his wife. He’d been without reason or purpose or heart ever since, but something had changed standing at the edge of the field of roses.
Maybe it was being able to see the world so clearly again, or maybe he was starting to live again. Something that had been so hard to do, because real love was everything. He did not think he could find meaning in a single breath otherwise. And now Aubrey’s friendship had made him begin to see and feel with his heart again. He hadn’t even realized how long he’d been standing as if in utter dark, and the world, in contrast, was so blindingly bright.
Aubrey moved alongside him, quiet and serene on her gleaming red horse. He’d probably been along this trail a hundred times, but he’d never seen the lake shine so brightly, as if a hand had reached down from heaven and polished it until it gleamed. The deep greens of the trees, the softer greens of the grass, the gray granite of the rocks and the lavender faces of the mountains were all so vibrant it hurt his eyes—and his heart—to see.
“It doesn’t look real.” Aubrey’s whispered words were an awed hush. “It looks like someone laid down a mile-long sheet of perfectly hammered pewter.”
“It’s the light. In an hour’s time, the sun will be higher in the sky and it will turn blue like an ordinary lake. It’s the mountain’s reflection that makes it look gray.”
She nodded as if she understood. “This is where you canoe.”
“Yes.” He let silence settle between them again, and he wanted to press Jet into a walk. He felt safer with distance, but distance wasn’t what he really wanted. Old habits died hard. He’d developed a scarred psychological skin and had worn it for so long, keeping people away was his natural MO these days. It took conscious effort to take a deep breath, let it out and stay where he was. His heart beat thick and hollow. “Would you like to go canoeing with me sometime? Maybe something a little more exciting than a placid lake?”
She let the silence settle, too, and he couldn’t help but think they were more alike than different, the two of them.
When she answered, she sounded as if she understood what he was offering. Not just a chance to go out in a boat on the water, but friendship. Friendship and nothing more. “I haven’t been canoeing in so long I’ve probably forgot how to row.”
He chuckled. “Then that’s a yes?”
“Annie, what do you think?” It was hard to tell exactly what Annie was thinking, but Aubrey’s smile said it all. “It would be wonderful.”
Wonderful? Yep, that was the word. William wasn’t ready to end their ride just yet. “There’s a forest service road just down the way. I’ll take you back on it, if you want. It takes longer, but it’s the scenic route. Might come across some deer, maybe some elk. We’ll have to see.”
“Then it’s a good thing I have my camera with me.”
That’s what he wished he had, his camera with him to capture the morning. No, not the morning, he realized, but her. Light filtered through the evergreens to burnish her, like liquid gold, highlighting her light blond hair platinum, softening her lovely features until she was too good, too sweet to be real and not a dream. It was like seeing her for the first time, all of her spirit’s beauty that was so rare.
“Hand over your camera.” He reached out, and her eyes smiled at him as she laid the small camera onto his palm. He could read her face, so honest. She was unaware of his feelings and of what she meant to him. She probably had assumed he wanted a few stills before the light changed and the lake became ordinary, for she turned to watch the water a moment longer. And, so revealed, he snapped a single shot of her.
“Hey!” She scowled at him, but only Aubrey could make a scowl look cute. “No fair. I am so not photogenic. You have to erase it.”
“If that’s going to be your attitude, I�
�ll have to pocket this.”
“William. You can’t keep my camera.”
“Watch me.” Sure enough, he slid it into his shirt pocket and wheeled Jet toward the shore, once again leaving her to follow.
She knew he wasn’t truly going to keep her camera, but why had he taken a picture of her? Her hair was windblown, her face was probably a little pink from the sun, and her riding hat’s wide brim always made her cheeks look chubby.
Fab. Just what she wanted recorded for posterity.
“Are you coming?” he said at the lake’s shore, twisting in his saddle to look up at her. His eyes were sparkling; his grin was relaxed and genuine. He looked like a whole new man, a man without shadows as he rode into the full light. “If you want your camera back, you’ll have to come with me.”
He needed her friendship, this man who had lost everyone he’d loved. She could feel it as surely as if he’d said the words. Okay, it was nice to be needed. She felt her heart fill and her spirit brighten. She braced her feet in the stirrups, ready for the steep, downhill ride to the shore, where William was waiting.
For her.
Chapter Ten
Talk about a fabulous ride. The effects stayed with Aubrey through the rest of the late afternoon and into the supper hour. Nothing could dim her joy. She’d spent the afternoon running errands for Danielle and now she nosed her car through Danielle’s subdivision.
It was hard to keep her thoughts from going over the morning spent with William. After all, she’d had a lovely time. She felt bright from the inside out. Wasn’t it always a wonderful feeling to find a real friendship? She signaled and turned onto Dani’s street. She liked William. She enjoyed spending time with him, but her family was not going to understand that. She knew the parameters of the relationship, but they were all going to leap to conclusions. She’d just have to set them straight, right?
Right. She spotted the dozen cars parked in front of Danielle’s house. She managed to wedge the SUV into a spot curbside and, after grabbing the shopping bag with her contribution to tonight’s supper, she faced the blistering heat of the July evening. Still one hundred degrees in the shade, and she felt every degree as she made her way up the cement walkway to the front door.
Why was she remembering how temperate it had been on the mountainside with William? Surely it was the sweet, soft, wild wind she was wishing for because it had felt so pleasant. Not scorching and sticky and oven hot. Which was the reason she was wishing she was still up in the mountains. It wasn’t as if there could be another reason, right?
Right.
The front door swung open and Ava bopped down the porch steps with Madison on her hip. “Okay, tell me. I gotta have the scoop. How did the ride with William go?”
Aubrey stopped to give Madison a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for the use of your SUV. Annie and I had a great time.”
“Oh, of course you two did. I’m sure being with William had nothing to do with it.”
“He has this gorgeous Thoroughbred.” Diversion, that was the key to keeping Ava distracted. “How’s Dani doing? Was she able to leave Jonas today?”
“She’s afraid he’s going to wake up any minute and she has to be there when he does.”
“Yeah, I get that.” There was still a lot of doubt about the extent of Jonas’s brain injuries, but it was too scary to think about. “Is Dorrie staying with her?”
“Yep.”
Ava said nothing more, but Aubrey knew what she meant. While it was miraculous enough that Jonas was becoming more and more responsive, there were still so many worries.
Unaware, Madison leaned trustingly against Ava’s shoulder and held up her chubby arms. “Ay! Pap-op.”
Aubrey melted, as she always did for her little niece. “Hello, pretty girl.”
Madison’s pure blue eyes sparkled. “Ah! Nah-no-gup.”
“Really? Well, me, too.” She gave a kiss to Madison’s baby-soft cheek and received a wet smack in return. “Good girl.”
The thud of little-boy feet thumped in their direction. Tyler raced into sight, his fireman hat askew. “Aunt Aubrey! You gotta come see! Uncle Spence ’n’ me, we’re fightin’ fires!”
“Wow, cool. I can’t believe you left Spence all by himself. He needs your help, buddy.”
“Yeah, I know!” He raced off again, making siren sounds that echoed in the cathedral ceilings.
Aubrey dumped her purse and bag in the entry closet and stood in the cool draft of the air-conditioning vent. That’s what she needed. And, since she was back to thinking about William, it was amazing that the serenity she’d felt on his mountainside was with her still. “Seeing Tyler like that is heartening. He’s doing better, too.”
“It feels as if life just might go back to normal, right?” Ava led the way into the kitchen, where Katherine was busy at the stove tonging ears of corn from a bubbling kettle.
“Hey, there.” Katherine looked up from her work. “And exactly why are you so late?”
Aubrey winced. She could tell by her sister’s warm smile, that she already knew the answer. She set the bag on the counter and pulled out two loaves of French bread. “I had to get Annie settled in, and I had a hard time leaving her. I haven’t been spending as much time with her.”
“I see. The horse. Is that the story you’re going to stick to?”
“With all my might.”
“Okay, I understand the importance of denial. But for the record, great choice. This is the William Corey. Spence sings his praises, so that has to mean he’s a great guy. And that’s exactly what you deserve, sweetie.”
See? She’d known this was coming. She had to set the record straight. “First of all, it was a trail ride, not a date. It was so not a date. And Ava, I know that look—”
“What look?”
“That one. It’s pure mischief. Don’t even go there.” Oh, she knew what was coming next. How this was about romance, this was about falling in love with Mr. Perfect, and Ava couldn’t be more wrong.
Really. If they knew what she knew about William, they would see that very sensibly.
Ava rolled her eyes on the way through the kitchen to the dining room. “I can’t believe this. You got to tell me when I was trying not to date Brice, how he was so right for me. And so good for me. And now I don’t get to do the same to you?”
“Uh, no-oo. This is not the same thing. I need you both to drop this. It’s not like that with William. Really.”
“Okay, sure.” Ava didn’t look convinced as she slipped Madison into her high chair, deftly corralling the little girl into place despite her attempts to escape. “And here I thought it was your one chance to break that no-dating habit you’ve developed.”
“Not all habits are bad or need to be broken. For instance, daily flossing can be a very good habit.”
“But chronic nonsocial behavior isn’t.”
“I’m not nonsocial. I’m just shy, which is something you will never be able to understand.” But William did.
Ava rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I’m not shy. You don’t have to be, either.”
“Sure, I’ll just toss this personality away and grow a new one.”
“That’s the spirit!” Not an ounce of mischief had faded from Ava’s face.
Apparently, Aubrey would never be able to convince her twin of the obvious.
“Aubrey.” Spence strolled into the room, drenched as if he’d taken a hit from the sprinkler. Little Tyler loved to pretend he was a fireman and play with the garden hose. But being a preschooler, he didn’t have the best coordination with the nozzle. “I hear you had a date with William Corey.”
“Not a date. How many times do I have to say that?”
“Well, whatever it was, I hope you thanked him for those pictures he donated. I took them over to the gallery and the owner nearly had a coronary. I guess they’re worth huge bucks. You should ask him if he wants to help more with the auction. Not with more donations, but to volunteer. He’s big on that, and it might be good for
him.”
Uh-oh. Even Spence? “We’re only friends. Just friends. I’m not going to explain it again.”
“Oh, sure.” Spence didn’t look as if he believed her, either. “Still, he might want to help out. Anyway, did you remember to bring your laptop?”
Now there was the Spence she recognized: all work. “Yes.”
“Okay, then.” He gave her a very appraising look, as if he were trying to figure out this William thing, and stormed off.
“With him it’s all work, work, work.” Ava shook her head. “I don’t think we can have a family get-together without him having a purpose behind it. Tonight it’s work-on-the-auction stuff. On Sunday it will be to start taking down Katherine’s rose trellises so he can transport them to Jack’s house. What are we going to do with him?”
Katherine poured the kettle water into the sink with a steamy whoosh. “I tried fixing him up with a friend from the reading group, but he refused to even consider it. He said she was too flighty.”
“He says that about all women.” Ava adjusted Madison’s high-chair tray and handed her a sippy cup.
“It’s just a defense.” Aubrey could see her brother so clearly. Sometimes it was better not to get involved beyond a certain point, especially when you knew you would get hurt.
It was better to be smart and practical in life and in love. That, in her opinion, was a good habit to follow. Not even a wonderful trail ride with such a good man was going to change that.
William stared at the image on his computer screen, the image he’d downloaded from the digital card in Aubrey’s camera before he’d returned it to her. At the time, she’d made a comment about images of the field of roses and the lake and he’d said nothing. He didn’t want to tell her that he wasn’t interested in those shots. That wasn’t the reason he’d taken the camera from her.
This was. He stared at her image on the screen, framed by light, taken in a quiet moment. Her beauty shone from the inside out, and he was thankful he’d caught her with the lens the way he truly saw her. With his heart.
