by Jillian Hart
You know what that means, man. He felt fear thud in the chambers within him. In all the years he’d been tucked on this mountain away from civilization, from people and anything that would remind him that he had no life, he’d never been able to do this. To see once again with faith and hope and capture it.
Even if he’d wanted to.
He had Aubrey to thank for that. Her friendship had made a difference in his life. So much so that he still felt the peaceful aftereffect in the evening hours. The sunset spilled through the wide picture windows of his study and hit the royal colors of Aubrey’s sun catcher. Light and color glowed like a promise.
He reached for the phone. He couldn’t say why. He did notice that the loneliness bothered him, and wasn’t that a change?
The phone rang twice before she answered. “Hello?”
“Aubrey. Bet you’re surprised to hear from me so soon.”
“Something like that.” She sounded happy and bright. “We were just talking about you.”
“We?”
“I’m at Danielle’s house with my family. I forwarded my home phone to my cell,” she explained over the background noise. “We’re updating the auction’s Web site. Spence says hi, but I really think he’s annoyed with you.”
There was humor in her words, and that made him curious. “Why, what did I do?”
“As much as we love that you donated your pictures, do you know how many e-mails this has generated in three days? Two hundred and eleven. Spence has answered thirty-six, so it’s going to be a long evening.”
Now he hadn’t considered that. “I should help.”
“As if you haven’t done enough? You don’t need to volunteer, too.”
In the background he heard a man—probably her brother Spence—say, “Tell him yes.”
Aubrey kept going as if she were ignoring the comment. “Although you’re welcome to volunteer, you shouldn’t feel obligated.”
“I know. And I’m still offering.”
“Really? Well, we’d love to have you.”
She eased the lonesomeness within him. He studied her image on his computer screen. “Of course, it’s not really a generous offer, now that I think about it. It’s after eight and it takes an hour to get to town from my place. You’ll probably be done for the night by the time I get there.”
“There’s always tomorrow.”
“That, I can do.”
“Great.” Aubrey felt bright from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. “We’re meeting—ah, where are we meeting after church tomorrow?”
She looked at the expectant faces of her nosy family—bless them—gathering around Danielle’s kitchen table to listen in as she talked with William. Why couldn’t she remember their plans for tomorrow?
“My condo,” Katherine said in that calm way of hers. “Remember?”
That did sound vaguely familiar. Then it hit her. Yikes, she was starting to sound like her twin. This was so not her, forgetting everything. She wasn’t behaving like herself. That could not be a good sign.
“Ask William if he likes barbecue,” Katherine urged.
Ava added her two cents from the kitchen counter. “Tell him I’ll make something chocolate if he comes to dinner.”
Aubrey felt her cheeks heat. She knew William had to be able to hear them, since no one was bothering to lower their voices.
Spence leaned close. “Invite him to church. Hear that, William? You should come. It’s the early service at the Gray Stone Church.”
Hayden, Katherine’s soon to be stepdaughter, looked up from playing a learning video game with Tyler. “Is that, like, Aubrey’s boyfriend?”
She listened to William’s warm chuckle. At least, he thought this was amusing, because she didn’t. Embarrassment was creeping across her face. Her nose was turning strawberry-red. Another bad sign. Could it get any worse?
Before it could, she got up and walked away from the table. “I’m sorry about that boyfriend comment, William. My family is getting very carried away. You are invited to come over tomorrow, as a friend of the family, if you still want to meet them. They can be scary, but only in the nicest way, of course.”
“How about I look for you at the service and we’ll go from there.”
“That would be perfect.” It meant everything to hear the understanding in his voice.
“What can I bring for dinner?”
As if he needed to do one more thing for her family? “We’ve got it covered. Just come.”
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“I guess so. Goodbye, William.”
She waited to hang up until she heard the click on his end of the line. When she looked up, she realized that she’d wandered all the way to the back deck, just for a little privacy. There, through the large living-room window, she could see her family watching her and debating among themselves just exactly what kind of friend William was.
This was wholly private, what she felt. Friendship, yes. Admiration, yes. Respect, yes. And anything more than that, she didn’t have to acknowledge. Just like she didn’t have to acknowledge the brightness shining secretly in her heart.
Determined to keep feet firmly on the ground, Aubrey pocketed her phone and went back inside. There was more computer work waiting and dessert to help serve and kids to get into bed. She would concentrate on that. Not on William.
William set the phone in the cradle. The sun had sunk lower toward the western mountains, and the spill of light through the window came lower, beneath Aubrey’s sun catcher so that it no longer glowed and winked. The simple rose in the glasswork made him remember how she’d looked beside him at the edge of the field, and how she’d made him feel.
It had been a long time since he’d really trusted anyone. He’d glossed over the devastation he’d felt after losing Kylie. For so very long, he’d been alone and glad to be. Trusting no one had been easier. Staying away from others, trustworthy or not, had saved him from caring. And from caring, getting involved. Because love hurt too much.
But Aubrey, she was different. Simply talking with her affected him. He could feel the warmth in his heart like the gentle new glow of the first star of the night. Not romantic, no, it wasn’t that kind of glow. Deep down he was so hungry for the ties of family and friends that, as scared as he was, he needed this. He needed Aubrey’s friendship. She was one woman he could trust with that need.
While she stood in front of Danielle’s pantry shelves with a notepad in hand, Aubrey listened to the sounds of Katherine, Jack and Hayden’s final goodbyes to Dad and Dorrie at the front door. It had been a good evening with her family, with the excitement of the growing interest in the Web site’s auction items, and the call from William. Danielle was still at the hospital, refusing to leave Jonas, and the strain of it, according to Dorrie, who’d spent all day with her, was starting to take its toll.
She recognized Spence’s footsteps behind her in the quiet kitchen. She didn’t turn as she scribbled down another item on the list. “I’m almost done.”
“No hurry. I’m waiting for Dorrie to pack a new overnight bag for Danielle. I’ve got some casserole dishes to return to a few of the church ladies, and I’m swinging by the hospital, too.” Spence had that tone in his voice. The seriously serious one. “Did I hear Ava right? Did she try to set you and William Corey up by having you deliver a cake to him?”
“The cake was a thank-you from Danielle, and a setup only works if the two people are interested in being set up.” She noticed the peanut-butter jar had nothing but a few scrapings in it, and she added that to the list. “Don’t worry, Spence. I’m not looking for an engagement ring from William.”
“You’re a sensible girl, unlike some others I can name in this family.” While Spence looked gruff, Aubrey wasn’t fooled. Not a bit. Not at all. She couldn’t help adoring her big brother who had taken care of them all through tough times and good. He’d always been there, grumbling, sure, but he’d never let one of them down.
; He was simply trying to take care of her now as he lowered his voice. “No one knows William real well, but I know this. He gives heavily to the united charities and he’s done it for years, and he’s never wanted anything in return, not even a mention of it anywhere. Whenever the soup kitchen is running low on funds, all one of us on the board has to do is call him and there’s a check when we need it. He’s a reliable and upstanding man, and if he’s interested in you, maybe you should take down a few of your defenses.”
“You know something about defenses, do you?”
That actually made him smile. “Not me.”
“I didn’t think so.” If anyone had impenetrable defenses, it was Spence. She knew why. He’d been hurt the most after their mother left. She schooled her face, kept her emotions steady and all while adding macaroni and cheese to the grocery list. “You don’t have to worry about me, okay? I’m just friends with William. We’re riding buddies. He’s all alone, and I hadn’t been riding in the forests since my old riding buddy moved, you know that.”
“Sure.” Spence nodded as if he saw her clearly. “Just think about what I’ve said.”
She didn’t have to. She ripped the list from the pad and handed it to her brother. “The list is arranged by aisle, if you start at the vegetable side of the store.”
“That’s very practical of you. You’re great, Aubrey. Thanks.” He walked away, pocketing the list. “Good night.”
“’Night.” She closed the pantry door and waited a moment in the empty kitchen, letting the emotion settle.
Dorrie padded into sight. “Aubrey, are you all right?”
“I’m good.”
“Are you sure, dear? You look terribly sad.”
“It’s nothing, really. I’m all right. Did you need something?”
“Tyler’s asking for you to come read his bedtime story. Would you mind? I know you wanted to get home.”
“You know I can’t say no to my nephew.”
“I thought you might say that.” Dorrie’s loving smile said it all. She came and gave Aubrey a hug. “I’ve got the book all set out. Tyler’s prayers are said and he’s tucked in.”
“Then you go enjoy a little unwinding time in front of the television. There’s a new series starting on Masterpiece Theatre.”
“I might do that. Thanks, dear. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I am.”
Dorrie didn’t look as though she believed her.
Aubrey felt very plain and practical as she turned out the kitchen light and headed down the hallway. She’d told Dorrie the truth. Everything was all right; nothing was hurting but her heart.
Chapter Eleven
There she was. The instant William found Aubrey in the crowded sanctuary, his uncertainty faded. It was hard taking this step, harder still to stand with his guard down in the resonant church loud with the sounds of rustling movements and conversations as families settled onto the long pews. Hardest of all was to let in just a little hope.
“William.” When she looked up to find him at the end of the row, her smile seemed like a confirmation. “Believe it or not we’ve been saving a spot for you. If I can get Ava to move all her stuff. Ava.”
“I’m hurrying.” Her twin, beside her, was busily trying to stuff numerous items back into an enormous tote. “I can’t find my Bible anywhere.”
“It’s probably right where you left it last,” Aubrey said patiently. “Like on the nightstand at home.”
“Oops.” Ava sounded as if she wasn’t all surprised. Apparently this was a frequent occurrence. “I’ll just share with my handsome fiancé.”
William recognized Brice Donovan from the many times he’d made donations to the united churches board. After saying hello and shaking hands, he nodded to Spence, who was much farther down the row with the rest of the family.
Aubrey scooted over to make room for him next to her and he settled in awkwardly. Church was a place made for feeling, and letting any emotion move through him had been something he’d fought so hard against for so long. It overwhelmed him now. He held back as hard as he could and still he felt, hurt with the newness of it.
Aubrey’s smile made the stinging sharper. Her low alto drew him closer.
“I’m glad you came,” she said in that gentle way of hers. “I sort of thought that it would all be too much, with my family and everything.”
Remembering the boyfriend remark he’d overheard should be enough to keep him away, but he could look into Aubrey’s violet-blue eyes and see her honesty. She understood. Gratitude moved within him like light through the stained-glass windows, transforming him just enough so that he could stay. Relax. Feel comfortable at her side.
As for her family, he understood. They were close-knit and protective of her. Something he’d once known and lost, so he got exactly how precious it was. “Don’t worry. I understand.”
When she smiled, his heart did, too.
She leaned closer. “How long has it been since you’ve been to a service?”
“Years. It hurt too much to go alone. My wife and I—” He shrugged, unable to say more. He didn’t have to. It was a comfort to know that he didn’t have to say some of the hardest things out loud. She simply understood him.
The music started. Since everyone was standing and reaching for the hymnals, he did the same. Aubrey’s soft, perfect alto didn’t surprise him, but what did was the sense of closeness he felt to her.
It felt good, not to be so alone anymore. He was glad he’d come. He had a lot to give thanks for.
Poor William looked lost, Aubrey thought as she peered out Katherine’s front window. He stood in the condominium complex’s parking lot holding a shopping bag in one hand and studying a piece of paper in the other. A laptop case hung by a strap from one strong shoulder.
“You’d best go save him,” Katherine said, as she carried the covered bowl of marinating chicken from the kitchen to the back patio door. “I’ll take care of setting the table so you don’t have to worry about it. Just go help him.”
Yeah, her sister so had the wrong idea. Aubrey rolled her eyes, wishing she knew what to say that would make them believe her. The truth wasn’t working; only time would show them. She headed straight to the front door. She hurried not because her heart took a dive at the first sight of him, but because the units weren’t uniform and the directions could be a little confusing.
She hardly noticed the blistering heat radiating off the blacktop as she headed out the door and onto the front step. Did she notice the sweet honeysuckle scenting the air? Or the kiss of sunlight on her skin?
No. There was only William and the way his face lit up when he saw her. The shadows were gone, and a lot of his reserve. Once, she’d thought him as remote as the mountains and now he was her friend.
“Hi, stranger,” she called out, shading her eyes with her hand.
“I guess I’m not lost after all. I was just getting ready to call you.” As he walked toward her, his smile widened to show real honest dimples.
Not that she should be noticing that or how handsome he looked in his black trousers and matching shirt. Or how self-conscious she felt in her best lavender dress and matching sandals.
He fell in beside her and said nothing.
A huge silence grew between them. Quick, Aubrey, think of something entertaining to say. Something engaging. Funny. She searched her brain, which had gone totally blank. Well, she shouldn’t be surprised. She’d never been full of interesting things to say.
William broke the silence, bless him. “This is the place you’re going to buy?”
“Yeah. It’s like home anyway, since we—I mean, I—spend so much time here. Ava and I are always imposing on Katherine. Well, that was before she got engaged. She had more time on her hands before Jack popped the question, so we helped her fill it. It won’t even feel like a real move. I think half of my things are in the guest room.”
“Then it sounds like a real sensible purchase.”
Yep, that
’s me, she thought. It was a good thing to be sensible. Really. That wasn’t what was bothering her, if she were honest with herself. No. If she were honest, then she would have to admit she’d been holding on to a tiny hope that William might see her differently. That he might see more in her, beyond the plain and the sensible woman, to the real Aubrey McKaslin.
It was best not to think about all that. “Spence and Dad were just getting ready to barbecue. I hope you like chicken.”
“I like everything. I’ve never been a picky eater. Which reminds me.” William held up the large bag. “I stopped by the farmer’s market and got some fresh corn.”
On the cob. Sure enough, the bag was full of green husks of corn, the tassels a perfect light gold. “You get full marks.”
“I’m not done yet.” He said nothing more, but his dark eyes were warm with a secret. His smile, so relaxed and bright, made him seem like a whole new man. He stepped into the shadowed foyer after her. “I brought my laptop. I figured it might help out with the online stuff.”
“Great. After dinner, we plan to have a huge e-mail session. Even more messages have come in since late night, so we should be busy. Oh, and Ava brought dessert. Her triple-chocolate dream pie.”
William had a hard time focusing on much of anything aside from Aubrey. She was all he could see. From the soft shine of her golden hair to the sweet way she talked and moved and smiled, she drew him like the stars to the sky. At peace, he followed her into the large gourmet kitchen. “Where do you want me to put the corn?”
“Oh, on the counter is fine. Would you like something cold to drink?” She opened a stainless-steel refrigerator, and the wide door engulfed her as she began rattling off the choices.
All he could see of her was the hem of her lavender dress and her matching shoes. Cute. Perfect. Nice. Not that he was supposed to be noticing.
“Lemonade,” he decided, managing to get the word out of his tight throat. Maybe it was the aftereffect of the service that was weighing on him. Once his guard had gone down, it had been slow going back up. He felt too full of feeling—emotion he wanted to ignore instead of analyze—and eagerly took the glass Aubrey had filled and set on the counter. The icy coldness eased some of the ache in his throat, but not the big one dead center in his chest.
