Roberta Leigh - Give A Man A Bad Name

by Roberta Leigh

  'Insomnia,' he said shortly, when she asked if he was unwell.

  'I have an excellent cure. When you go to bed, try to recall every single thing you did from the moment you woke up. I promise you'll be out like a light before you reach lunch.'

  'I doubt it. Last night, it was thinking of after our lunch yesterday that made me sleepless!'

  Hot colour washed Marly's cheeks. Yesterday, while Kevin and Fiona had been snorkelling in the bay, Alex had led her to a secluded spot further down the beach and began making love to her. As usual she had responded to his urgency, but as he had edged down the zip of her swimsuit she had come to her senses and pushed him away.

  'Alex, don't. This isn't the way to start a relationship,' she had protested.

  'Why not? What can be nicer than making love on soft white sand?'

  'A soft white bed,' she whispered. 'I want our first time to be perfect, and that means spending the night together and seeing your face on the pillow next to me in the morning.'

  Alex had tried to look understanding, but thwarted passion had taxed his patience, and she had realised it was going to be difficult to keep him at arm's length much longer. Because of this she had locked her door that night, worried in case he tried to put her excuse to the test.

  'You could at least be more sympathetic.' Alex's disgruntled voice brought her back to the present. 'You've made me wait longer for you than I've waited for any woman.'

  Marly's blood boiled. How dared he compare her with his other women? Yet all she said was, 'Expectancy will make it all the nicer.'

  'Don't kid yourself. All it does is make it quicker!'

  'Don't be cross with me,' she pleaded. 'I've already gone further with you than I should.'

  'I'm sorry, Marly. I've no right to take out my frustration on you.'

  'You wouldn't need to be frustrated if you…' Putting a slight catch in her voice, she played her ace. 'I believe it's important to keep myself pure for my husband, and though I almost gave in to you on the boat, I've come to my senses again. What I'm trying to say is that I won't give myself to a man unless I'm married to him.'

  Deliberately she met his eyes. If she had misjudged his feelings for her, or forced the issue too soon, her scheming would come to nothing and she'd have to settle for failure.

  For what seemed an age but was probably a few seconds, he was silent, and noting his veiled expression, she thought she had overplayed her hand and lost him. But when he finally spoke, he sounded amused.

  'I wasn't aware this was February the twenty-ninth!'

  'I beg your pardon?' She pretended ignorance.

  'In our society women only propose to men when it's a leap year.'

  'You're making a joke of something very serious, Alex. It took courage for me to speak to you so frankly, and just to set the record straight, in our culture too it's usual to wait for the man to do the asking.'

  'In that case, when in Rome—or should I say Karon Beach?—I will do the asking.' His voice lost its jocular tone and became so deep it was barely audible. 'Will you marry me, Marly?'

  Stunned, she gazed at him. Her plan had worked! Yet strangely she felt po sense of triumph. On the contrary, all she felt was depression. Was it because she knew how empty her life was going to be when she finally disclosed her identity and walked out on him?

  Yet why assume he had proposed merely to get her into bed, as he had done with Andrea? What if he genuinely wished her to be his wife? The notion was so wonderful that she savoured it.

  'I'm waiting for your reply,' Alex said. 'Given that you were the one to propose first, you can't be suffering from shock!'

  'I am. I can't believe you mean it.'

  'You've left me no option. Marriage was the last thing I had in mind, but I can't see any other way of having you.'

  Marly came down to earth with a bump. How cruelly he had knocked off her rose-coloured glasses, showing her how foolish she was to imagine he was anything other than an expedient man out to get what he wanted. As for his proposal, it was obviously as meaningful as the one he had made to Andrea!

  But now wasn't the time to laugh in his face. Before she did that she would hoist him higher with his own petard, and thus ensure his fall was a very painful one.

  She was saved from having to give him his answer by the appearance of Fiona and Kevin, back sooner than she had expected from a game of tennis at the local club.

  'Fiona was off-colour,' Kevin explained as he poured himself a glass of fresh papaya juice and took his place at the table.

  'I've probably been over-eating,' the girl added, sitting herself beside Alex and resting her hand possessively on his arm. 'Sumalee's such a great cook I can't resist her food.'

  For the remainder of the day she stuck to Alex like a leech, which gave Marly the breathing space she needed, and at dinner, which was a barbecue on the beach, she did the same.

  As usual Alex held centre stage, proving how knowledgeable he was on a variety of subjects. Like all good talkers he enjoyed debate, and occasionally provoked it simply to cause an argument.

  'Take the Amazon rainforests for example,' he said, leaning back against a palm tree and sipping his coffee. 'If the world doesn't stop their wholesale decimation they'll turn into deserts.'

  'They're so vast it will take hundreds of years,' Kevin argued.

  'We can't just consider ourselves,' Alex replied. 'We have to think of future generations.'

  'I agree,' Marly said.

  'You agree with everything Alex says,' Fiona complained. 'You're far too docile, Marly.'

  Marly was not sure how to reply, and Alex came to her defence.

  'Marly is only docile when it suits her,' he commented drily. 'She can be extremely obstinate when the mood takes her.'

  Knowing to what he was referring, Marly stared fully into his eyes. 'You make me sound very calculating.'

  'Clever,' he corrected. 'You know bow to flatter a man and make him feel he's the boss, even if he isn't!'

  'Don't most women do the same?'

  'Occasionally they try, but I've never encountered anyone as good at it as you!'

  'What about me?' Fiona burst out.

  'You try,' Alex said, 'but compared with Marly you're an amateur.'

  'Thanks!' Fiona exclaimed angrily, and jumping to her feet, stalked off the beach.

  'I think she's still off-colour,' Kevin murmured by way of explanation.

  'I'll go and see if she's all right,' Marly said, and gratefully seizing the excuse to end the evening, hurriedly followed the younger girl back to the house.

  The light was on in Fiona's bedroom, but when Marly tapped on the door, the light went out and a sleepy voice asked who it was.

  'Marly. I wondered if I can get you anything?'

  'I'm fine, thanks; just tired. I'll see you in the morning.'

  As Marly turned to go into her bedroom she stopped in her tracks, startled to see Alex at the end of the short corridor, mouthing her to come towards him and casting a jaundiced eye in the direction of Fiona's door.

  Realising he wished to talk to her without the other girl knowing, she had no option but to obey him, and as soon as she was within touching distance his hand came out to clasp hers and draw her outside.

  Not pausing on the veranda, he led her down the steps and on to the beach, guiding her across the sand until they were well out of earshot of anyone in the house. Only then did he stop and swing her round to face him. There was a full moon, and in its light she saw the hard set of his mouth and the jut of his jaw, both of which signified tension held in check.

  'What's wrong, Marly?' he bit out. 'You've avoided being alone with me since I proposed to you, and I want to know why. If you're going to turn me down I'd like to know why, and if it's yes, then why the hell don't you put me out of my misery?'

  The pain in his voice unnerved her, for she had not expected it. Anger yes, even hurt pride because she had not immediately jumped at his offer of marriage, but pain, definitely not.

>   Could she have misjudged him? Was his offer a genuine one and not the ploy it had been with Andrea? Filled with doubt, she opted for partial truth.

  'I had the feeling you proposed to me because I'd pushed you into it.'

  'Pushed me?'

  'You said marriage was the last thing you'd had in mind, but that you couldn't see how else to have me.'

  Alex's body went slack with surprise, and Marly took the opportunity of pulhng free of his hold and moving away from him.

  'It wasn't the most romantic of proposals, Alex. Rawly sexual, yes, but in my view that's no recipe for a lasting relationship.'

  'For God's sake, I——— '

  'No, please let me finish. I know you've avoided marriage, and you've also made it plain you———— ' She hesitated, trying to use words a well brought-up Thai girl might utilise. 'What I mean is that I know you lust after me, and it's become such a fire inside you that you can't think of anything else except appeasing it. But once you have, you'll tire of me.'

  'You think so?' Alex's tone was dry. 'You're wrong, I'm afraid. My fault, of course. I've been a bloody fool and I deserve your censure.'

  Marly remained silent, uncertain what was to come yet knowing—given her knowledge of this man—that it would be clever and subtle.

  'I have avoided marriage until now. No matter how beautiful, charming or intelligent my girlfriends were, I saw no reason to tie myself to one when there was always another who was ready, willing, and able. I'm not saying my behaviour was laudable. I'm merely stating how it was for me. And incidentally, how it is for many men these days. Why have one flower in a vase when an entire bouquet is there for the picking?'

  Why indeed? Marly agreed cynically, and thought that women had embraced liberation without weighing up all the pros and cons.

  'Then I met you,' Alex continued, raking back his hair with his hand, 'and suddenly one flower was all I desired.'

  'Only because it wasn't ripe for the picking.'

  'That's what I thought at first, but the longer I knew you, the more I understood my feelings for you. What began as lust turned into love, and I knew my freedom of choice, which had always been so important to me, was over, because I'd subconsciously made my choice the moment I saw you acting in that silly skit at Christmas. Except that I soon realised you hadn't been acting, for you were as sweet and gentle as the girl you'd been portraying.'

  Marly writhed with shame. Innocent she still was, in the biblical sense, but sweet and gentle she wasn't; not with strong-minded older brothers who'd have teased her unmercifully if she hadn't stood up to them. But now was not confession time; there were too many unresolved issues.

  'After what you've just told me,' she said carefully, 'I can't fathom why you said what you did when you asked me to marry you.'

  'Neither can I!' he said with raw honesty. 'Looking back on it, I suppose I was afraid to let you know how deep my feelings are. I figured that if you assumed it was sexual attraction you would realise the power you have over me.'

  'Power?' she echoed.

  'To make or break my life.'

  His very lack of emphasis lent poignancy to his words, and her doubts dissipated like water in sand. For the second time that day she was filled with joy, and this time it did not vanish. She would become Alex's wife.

  But first she had to tell him her identity. Even as she went to do so, the memory of Andrea intruded. How would the girl react at learning her friend was going to marry the man who had discarded herl Without question she would be hurt, but Marly, now that she had come to know Alex, was certain his proposal to Andrea had been a genuine one, and that not until they had started living together had he realised it had been a mistake. But Andrea was unlikely to see it that way, ego being what it was, and would doubtless be hurt at what she'd regard as Marly's disloyalty.

  However, she did owe Andrea an explanation, and until she had spoken to her it didn't seem morally right to give Alex his answer.

  'I can't consider your proposal while—er—while Fiona believes she's going to be your wife,' she said in her primmest voice. 'It isn't seemly.'

  'Your favourite expression!' Humour creased his face, though it grew serious as he went on, 'Then it looks as if I'll have to return to England with Fiona and break the news when she's in the bosom of the family.'

  'Will it be awkward for you?'

  'A damn sight less awkward than having to be her husband!' He came a step closer. 'Don't play games with me, Marly.'

  'I'm not.' Raising herself on tiptoe, she placed her hps upon his, then drew back and, putting her palms together, lowered her chin to her fingers in a most obeisant wai.

  'Please stop doing that to me,' he protested.

  Knowing she would, once she had managed to speak to Andrea, Marly lowered her chin further still, then with a light laugh ran fleetly across the sand to the house.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Next day, their last one before returning to Bangkok, Marly still tried to avoid being alone with Alex. She was sorry they weren't returning to Bangkok immediately, instead of tomorrow, for then she could have telephoned Andrea and abandoned her role-playing. What a relief that would be! She was fed up to the teeth with acting the gentle charmer and longed to revert to her normal, sparky self.

  But how would Alex react to her real persona? Her docility might have occasionally irritated him, but he had undoubtedly enjoyed feeling he was the one in control. But then what man didn't?

  'What are the plans for today?' Kevin questioned as, breakfast over, he perched on the balustrade overlooking the turquoise sea.

  'I fancy going to the sports club and getting in some water-skiing,' Alex said.

  'Good idea,' the Australian enthused. 'Going to join us, Fiona?'

  'No, thanks, I'm for a lazy morning.'

  'Still feeling off-colour?'

  'Not at all,' she shrugged, and flipped through a pile of magazines on the small table beside her.

  Brief shorts and bikini-top drew the eye to the lovely line of her body, and her skin had acquired a deeper tan that accentuated the corn-gold of her silky hair. Despite the violet smudges of tiredness beneath her eyes, she was a truly beautiful girl, and Marly, watching her, was astonished that Alex, with his appreciation of women, had not proved susceptible to her.

  'Wih you join us, Marly?' Alex quizzed.

  'Not even if you paid me! I tried it once and thought my arms would be pulled out of their sockets. I'll stay and keep Fiona company.'

  'You didn't need to stay behind,' Fiona remarked as the two men drove off in the small runabout that belonged to their host. 'I don't mind my own company.'

  'I stayed because I wanted to. We've hardly had a chance to talk to each other.'

  'I don't think we've much to say. Unless you want to talk about Alex?'

  Marly's heartbeat quickened, though her smile was easy. 'It isn't good policy to discuss the man one is working for.'

  'I shouldn't think it good pohcy to fall in love with him either. Not that I blame you. Most women fall for him but luckily I'm the only one he cares about.'

  Marly said nothing and Fiona sat up straighter and stared at her defiantly.

  'We are getting married, you know. That's why I came out to see him—so we could decide on the date.'

  'You've already told me that.'

  'But you don't believe me, do you?'

  'The question is whether you believe you!'

  'What's that supposed to mean?'

  But Marly felt she had said enough—too much if truth be told—and nervously waited for Fiona to press for an answer. To her relief the girl didn't, and Marly found this psychologically telling, for it showed that she didn't honestly believe in the engagement she was continually parading. Then why did she do it? Was it because she hoped to bludgeon Alex into submission?

  'I love Alex,' Fiona said into the silence, her eyes shimmering with tears. 'He means everything to me. No matter how busy he was he always had time for me, even when I was a child
. His kindness and silly teasing helped me face the unbearable.'

  'I know,' Marly sympathised, and looking into the flushed face appreciated why he had found it difficult to end her dream. But it was a nettle he had to grasp, and the sooner the better. Pushing back her chair, she rose. 'I'm for a swim. It's the only way to cool off.'

  Not waiting to see if Fiona would join her, she padded down to the water's edge and walked along the shoreline for several hundred yards before plunging in. What an ideal spot this was for a honeymoon, she thought as she floated on the buoyant waves, and envisaged herself and Alex alone here.

  What would he be like as a lover? Passionate, certainly, but it would be tempered with gentleness if his kisses were anything to go by. Still, the pundits said you never knew what a person was like as a lover until you were their lover. Of course she could always ask Andrea. The shock of the thought—it had come unbidden into her consciousness—caused her to sink beneath the water, and, spluttering and gasping for breath, she surfaced and made for the beach.

  But the thought could not be left behind, and an image of Andrea and Alex lying next to one another, naked and in abandonment, filled her mind's eye, engulfing her in pain. Grow up, she chided herself, sinking on to the sand. You didn't expect him to be a virgin, did you? He must have made love to innumerable women so why get uptight about one in particular? It isn't logical.

  Yet logic had little to do with emotion, and the pain remained with her. If only it hadn't been Andrea. Any of her other friends wouldn't have mattered so much, but Andrea was close to her, second only to Nan, and it was agonising to think the same hands that would be caressing her breasts had caressed Andrea's, that the sensual mouth which had plundered hers had driven deep into the mouth of a girl with whom she had shared all her hopes and dreams. With a moan she buried her head in her hands, willing herself to be adult, to see that the past was past, and that only the present and the future counted.

  After several moments of soul-searching, Marly raised her head and breathed deep of the sea-breeze air. Jealousy had been overcome if not obliterated, and she was confident that given time this too would happen. But she did not see Andrea ever being part of her hfe again. Nor would her friend want it. It was a sad thought and it lay heavy on her heart as she rose and returned to Fiona, who was still lying on a sunbed on the veranda.