The Lady in the Tower

by Marie-Louise Jensen

  ‘Something from Farleigh?’ I asked, surprised.

  ‘Not exactly, Mistress. It’s outside the front door.’

  ‘Outside?’ I echoed in astonishment. ‘Why did you leave it out there?’

  Tom bowed clumsily. ‘If you follow me, Mistress Eleanor, you’ll see.’ He spoke stiffly, and it was obvious to me that he was trying to be on his best behaviour before my uncle and aunt. I tucked my hand in his arm.

  ‘Lead on, Tom,’ I told him, and then added in a lower voice, ‘But for God’s sake stop calling me Mistress Eleanor.’

  ‘I can’t call you Eleanor, not now.’

  ‘Why not? You just did. Are you feeling very grand in those clothes, Tom?’

  Tom grinned sheepishly, and I forbore to tease him further.

  The servant threw open the front door when we reached it, and Tom stood back to allow me to pass through it first. Curious, I stepped out into the sunshine. I had no idea what to expect, and indeed the heat and the bright sunshine dazzled me at first so that I could see nothing. I stood blinking while my eyes adjusted. Two dark blurs resolved into horses. One was unfamiliar and unremarkable. The second horse I knew at once.

  ‘Arianna!’ I cried, hardly able to believe my eyes. I ran to her and flung my arms about her neck, making her throw up her head nervously.

  ‘That’s no way to treat a high-bred horse, Mistress,’ Tom chided me. I ignored him. I was hugging as much of Arianna as I could reach. I pressed my face into her glossy hide, breathing in her familiar horse scent. She bore it patiently after her initial fright, and when I let her go, she lipped my hands, looking for carrots.

  ‘I’ve nothing for you, dear Arianna,’ I laughed, stroking her soft velvety nose. I was overjoyed to see her again. I had thought her lost to me for ever. To my disgust, I found I was having to fight back tears once more. Whatever was happening to me? My feelings seemed so much more intense these days. I was ashamed of my weakness. It would not do for Tom to see me blubbing like a girl.

  I turned to Tom. He was standing at a respectful distance looking pleased with himself. I beckoned him closer.

  ‘Tom,’ I asked. ‘How is this possible? Did not Lord Stanton have Arianna?’

  ‘Yes, that’s right,’ Tom agreed. ‘He’s my new master.’

  My eyes widened in surprise. Tom sounded both proud and happy.

  ‘So he has sent Arianna?’ My heart gave a jump but then sank again. ‘But why did he not bring her himself?’

  ‘On account of not knowing whether he was welcome, Mistress Eleanor,’ explained Tom, far too cheerfully. ‘He thought you might prefer to see me.’

  ‘I am very happy to see you, Tom,’ I told him, trying but failing to match his cheerful tone. I hesitated, and continued more quietly: ‘But Lord Stanton is mistaken. I do not dislike him. I believe you have found a good master.’

  I turned to Arianna again, and stroked her beautiful grey neck, trying to hide my disappointment. Lord Stanton would not even come himself. He had truly lost his regard for me. And no wonder.

  ‘Is not Arianna beautiful today, Mistress?’ asked Tom. ‘I brushed her for hours this morning and oiled her hooves, look.’

  ‘I’ve never seen her look so fine,’ I agreed. ‘Thank you, Tom.’ I hesitated. ‘And does Arianna return with you? Or am I allowed to keep her?’

  ‘Oh, she’s a gift, Mistress Eleanor. Did I forget to say? A gift from his lordship with his compliments,’ said Tom. ‘Dunno what it means, but that’s what he said to tell you.’

  ‘I am very grateful to Lord Stanton,’ I murmured.

  ‘You should be,’ said Tom seriously. ‘We’ve rode for four days, him and me, to fetch her from that place where he lives. Can’t remember its name. He comes in early one morning, dunno where he’d been, and says, “Saddle up, Tom. We’re away to fetch Arianna for Mistress Eleanor.”’

  I felt moved at his words. All this time I had been thinking he had neglected to call on me, he had been riding to fetch Arianna. The thought kindled hope in me, but I also felt hurt. After so much trouble, could he not have brought her to me himself?

  I saw Tom was mounting the other horse. Was he going to ride away without saying farewell?

  ‘Tom!’ I cried. I laid a hand on his knee. ‘I shall miss you,’ I told him. ‘Very much.’ His face was tight as he looked at me, but he said nothing. ‘And please tell his lordship that I’m exceedingly grateful to him.’

  ‘Well I could try, Mistress Eleanor. But them’s not words as I can say, I reckon. So why don’t you come and thank him yourself?’ He grinned at me. ‘He’s riding Caesar in the park if you’d like to see him.’

  I felt a flame of hope burst into life within me. He was nearby. I could speak to him once more. This was what I had wished for.

  ‘Wait!’ I ordered Tom, and dashed back into the house to tell my aunt where I was going. She smiled complacently when she heard my errand, and gave me permission to go, provided one of the manservants accompanied me.

  ‘Tom will look after me,’ I cried, running back out of the house before she could protest.

  The joy of riding Arianna again put all else temporarily out of my mind. She danced and sidled while I adjusted my stirrups, but when I told her to walk, she stepped out briskly, her ears pricked right forward.

  ‘Oh, Tom! I cannot tell you what a pleasure this is! To be riding Arianna again. And she still knows me.’

  ‘Of course she does. I have a fair idea how you feel about that horse, Mistress Eleanor.’

  When we reached the park, I felt a flutter of nerves. Did Lord Stanton actually want to see me, or would he have preferred to avoid it? Was my reputation so tainted that it would harm him to even be in my company?

  I told myself I hoped for nothing from this meeting. I could not expect any decent gentleman to have anything further to do with me after my good name had been so ruined. I was just here to see Stanton one more time, and if I could find the courage, to tell him that I no longer suspected him of plotting against my mother. My nervousness communicated itself to Arianna and she broke into a canter. I reined her in as I scanned the park for Stanton.

  ‘Over there,’ said Tom, pointing out a tall, elegant figure on a large black horse some distance away. ‘I’ll be waiting at the gates,’ he added, turning away.

  ‘Oh, won’t you come with me?’ I cried impulsively.

  ‘You don’t need me,’ said Tom gruffly.

  I bit my lip and rode boldly out across the park. It was too hot to go any faster than a trot, and so it took me several minutes to come abreast of Caesar and fall into step beside him.

  Stanton’s face broke into a smile when he saw me.

  ‘I only came, my lord, to say thank you for sending me Arianna,’ I said hurriedly, imagining he might wonder at my coming.

  ‘You are welcome, Eleanor. I bought her for you in the first place, so it is only right that you should have her.’

  ‘You did?’ I asked, astonished.

  ‘Well of course,’ replied Stanton. ‘What did you think? That I’d buy your favourite horse and take her away from you?’ He paused and scanned my face. I felt it burning with shame, and could not meet his eyes.

  ‘Good God. That is what you thought,’ said Stanton grimly.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ I barely spoke above a whisper. ‘But you seemed to love to provoke me; I thought it was another instance of … ’

  ‘Eleanor, we were about to be married. My possessions would have been yours. Your father was being unpardonably cruel, so I bought Arianna as a bride gift for you.’

  ‘I was not thinking straight,’ I cried. ‘For I always intended to run away before we could be married, so I never thought ahead to … ’

  ‘To our married life together,’ Stanton completed my sentence drily. ‘I noticed.’

  ‘But why could you not have said so?’ I demanded. ‘You never mentioned Arianna again.’

  ‘I took her to my home in Hampshire, so she could be waiting there for you as a surprise.
I had business there in any case.’

  ‘I can see I have caused you a great deal of trouble.’

  ‘Not at all,’ Stanton replied politely. His words and manner were a rebuff. Why did he not tease me? Tell me that I was a thorn in his side and he was glad to be rid of me? Then we would at least be on familiar territory once more.

  ‘I barely recognize your lordship, so polite you have become,’ I remarked. Stanton merely bowed slightly.

  ‘It’s clearly a great relief to be free of me,’ I said with an edge of bitterness to my voice. ‘It has quite restored your good manners.’

  ‘I am sure you are right.’

  ‘Oh, I never met anyone as provoking as you!’ I exclaimed.

  ‘How so?’ asked Stanton, apparently surprised. ‘When I am doing my best not to annoy you?’

  ‘You understand nothing!’ I flung at him.

  ‘Then explain it to me. What do I not understand?’

  That silenced me. I had imagined this meeting so many times. In my visions we had spoken sadly, tenderly even, before parting for ever. I had never dreamt that Stanton would be infuriating, or that I might be in danger of losing my temper.

  We had come to the end of the park. Stanton turned Caesar, and I followed.

  ‘Do you wish to ride some more or shall I escort you home?’ Stanton asked.

  I could see he did not wish for my company, and I felt desolate. But I so needed to speak to him that I did not immediately accept his hint.

  ‘It’s too hot,’ I replied pettishly. I dragged off my hood, and shook my hair free. That felt better at once. ‘I should like to walk a little,’ I told him. ‘In the shade.’

  I thought perhaps if we were walking, I might feel braver, more able to speak freely.

  ‘Of course,’ replied Stanton, leading the way to some large trees. He jumped to the ground and hitched both of the horses. I tried to smile at him as he helped me down from Arianna but he did not seem to notice. At that point, I despaired. This was hopeless. I may as well go home without speaking. He did not want me, and I could not blame him.

  ‘I fear Tom will miss you,’ Stanton said, breaking in on my thoughts. ‘Was I wrong to take him into my service? He was turned off from Farleigh when the castle was seized by the king. He is uncommonly good with horses.’

  ‘He appears very satisfied with his new master,’ I replied, not knowing what else to say.

  ‘Unfortunately it seems Tom cannot serve us both,’ murmured Stanton.

  ‘Unfortunately?’ I asked at once.

  ‘For him,’ he said smoothly. ‘I was speaking of Tom.’

  ‘Of course.’ I took a deep breath and tried to steady my nervousness. If I was going to speak to him, it had to be now.

  ‘My Lord Stanton,’ I began.

  ‘Please, Eleanor, do not be so formal with me!’ Stanton exclaimed, completely throwing me out of my stride. ‘If we are never to see one another again, can you not use my name rather than my title, just this once? I am Philip. Let me hear you call me that.’

  I was completely taken aback.

  ‘Very well, as you wish,’ I faltered. ‘Philip.’

  It felt so strange to use his Christian name that I paused, confused. ‘Now I have forgotten what I wanted to say. At least not so much what as how.’

  ‘There is no hurry,’ replied Stanton. ‘You do not need to speak at all. We can just walk a while under the trees here, and enjoy the cool air together.’

  ‘But there is something I must say to you,’ I said nervously. I steeled myself, hoping that my treacherous complexion would not betray my embarrassment. ‘I wanted to tell you that when you came to Farleigh, I disliked you very much. No, damn it, that’s not what I wanted to say.’ I flung my hood onto the grass and ran my hands through my hair. ‘I was angry and desperate. I had been ordered to marry you against my will. I was surrounded by spies … I thought you were one. I know now, that I was wrong. Not only that … I know now that you are a good person. A kind person.’

  ‘You surprise me, Eleanor.’

  ‘I know. I’ve been so rude to you, so hateful. You believed me when I said my father was falsely accused concerning me. You trusted my word. But I could not trust your word when you denied that you had plotted against my mother. I’m sorry. I know it was a lie. My father admitted it, apparently. Before he died.

  ‘And despite everything, you’ve done so much for us, and I am grateful.’ I paused and took a deep breath. This was so very difficult, much harder than I had thought it would be, and Lord Stanton was saying nothing to help me. He walked beside me, eyes downcast. Nonetheless, I forced myself to go on.

  ‘I quite understand that I’m no longer … that my reputation is … well, that you can have nothing further to do with me,’ I tried to explain, feeling the tell-tale heat creeping up my neck and into my face. ‘But I did not want you to think that I still think badly of you. Because I do not.’

  Such a long speech was exhausting. My breathing was unsteady as though I had been running. Stanton did not reply immediately, and I waited in some trepidation for his response. At last he spoke, his voice quiet.

  ‘I do not need your gratitude, Eleanor. But thank you for your good opinion of me. It is not all deserved. I did not treat you kindly at first either. I am sorry for that too.’

  I nodded my acknowledgement of this.

  ‘But, Eleanor,’ Stanton continued, and now his voice was stronger, ‘what did you mean about your reputation? That was not my reason for releasing you from our betrothal. I hope you know that?’

  I felt confused for a moment. Was it not? And then I pulled myself together.

  ‘Those slanders must bar me from any marriage for life. I know that. I could not bring such shame on anyone … to be associated with such … no.’ I shook my head firmly.

  Stanton stopped abruptly, and I stopped beside him. He cupped his hands around my face and turned it up, looking into my eyes. I was so surprised that I did not resist. His hands were slightly cool against my skin, and I could feel myself trembling at his touch.

  ‘I know the accusations against you were false. I love you, Eleanor, and I care for your happiness,’ he said, looking intently at me. I felt my heart miss a beat at his words. ‘I released you because I thought you wished for it, not to save myself from scandal,’ he said. ‘My God, what do I care for that?’

  ‘I … I do not … anyone would care about such a tale,’ I murmured, dropping my gaze. Stanton’s closeness was affecting me powerfully. I felt I could scarcely breathe.

  ‘Eleanor, look at me,’ he ordered. ‘Look me in the eyes and tell me you still do not wish to marry me. Tell me you do not love me. If it is still true, say it boldly, like you did at Bath.’

  My thoughts were in turmoil. I felt both hope and deep despair. He said he still loved me. Could that be true? But even if it were, I knew I could not bring my own shame upon him. I would have to lie to him. For his own sake, I would have to deny my feelings.

  ‘I do not … I could never … ’ I began. But my voice would not obey me. I could not look into those eyes and utter such falsehoods.

  ‘You do not answer me,’ he said softly. Stanton let go of my face at last, his hands sliding down my arms and around my waist, drawing me even closer to him. My heart was fluttering wildly, but I went to him willingly, lifting my face, inviting his kiss. He bent his head until his lips just touched mine.

  ‘Say my name once more,’ he whispered, his breath warm and sweet on my face.

  ‘Philip,’ I whispered back.

  ‘Kiss me again,’ he murmured.

  This time, he wrapped his arms about me, holding me close. We kissed gently at first, tenderly, but then his arms tightened around me drawing me closer against him until I felt dizzy with desire. When we finally stopped, we stood holding each other, reading our own happiness in each other’s eyes.

  ‘How soon will you marry me?’ Stanton asked.

  I laughed shakily, leaning against him, resting my hea
d against his shoulder.

  ‘If you are quite sure … as soon as you like.’

  ‘I have no doubts at all. And you?’ Stanton ran his fingers through my hair, seeking out the nape of my neck and caressing it with gentle fingers. I felt a light shiver of pleasure run through me.

  ‘No doubts,’ I promised him.

  I remembered my mother’s letter.

  ‘My mother marries next month, so perhaps we should wait till after then?’

  ‘Does she indeed? So soon? Well, she deserves happiness. As do we, Eleanor.’ Stanton’s arms tightened around me once more. ‘We can wait those few weeks if you wish it.’

  ‘Philip, I have not yet told you, but I am supposed to leave for Bath tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Then I shall accompany you, and ask your mother’s permission to marry you.’

  ‘You already have the king’s permission.’

  ‘I shall accompany you anyway.’

  He turned. Taking my hand, he began to lead me back to the horses. ‘You will be glad to know that you will not need to purchase a wedding gown,’ he remarked over his shoulder to me. ‘I brought yours from Farleigh. It seemed such a waste to leave it for the king.’

  ‘You did what?’ I demanded, pulling my hand out of his. ‘You brought my gown to London? How dared you do such a thing? I had already told you I would not marry you!’

  ‘I thought you may well change your mind. And you have.’

  ‘You arrogant, conceited … ’ I began, and then I saw that he was shaking with laughter. ‘Oh, I see. You are teasing me.’

  He took me in his arms and kissed me once more.

  ‘Yes, Eleanor, I am teasing you. But I really did bring your gown. I am not quite sure why, and I confess I was wondering what to do with it.’

  ‘You may well wonder, for I think you will find I have grown taller this last month,’ I told him.

  ‘That will serve me right,’ he said with a grin.

  ‘I do not intend to quarrel with you,’ I said virtuously. ‘So I shall not say another word on the subject.’

  ‘You do not intend to quarrel with me?’ Stanton demanded incredulously. He swept me off my feet and threw me up into Arianna’s saddle. ‘If I were not quite sure I could provoke you any time I choose, I would be seriously alarmed.’