He was running away. She could see it clearly in his face, could feel the distance widen between them although neither of them had moved. “You’re backing off,” she said flatly.
“Like I said, I’m just thinking about giving us a break. Until we sort things out. I’m paying attention to what you told me, that we’re always good at getting wild and crazy but for nothing other than that.”
“And now you finally decide to remember what I said? Right now, you conveniently decide to take it seriously?” She could hear her voice rising as if it were someone else’s, something out of her control. She felt out of control, crushed by what he had done and stunned by memories flashing like fireworks in her mind. Worse, she felt betrayed by her own failure to remember this was Jason, who had walked out on her once before.
Why was she so upset? He had always run. To the rodeo. To the Cantina. To his friends.
Taking a deep breath, she tugged her robe more firmly closed around her. “On second thought, your timing’s lousy but I think you’ve got the right idea. And when you get back—” if you get back... “—I also think it’s time you found your room at the Hitching Post.”
“You want me to leave?”
“Yes. This...whatever it was, was a big mistake. I’ve already told you I can’t go back to what we had before. I’m not who I was before.”
“So I suggest a break and you decide to kick me out. Again.” He laughed bitterly. “I should have expected it. It sums up our entire relationship, doesn’t it? Wild and crazy—or nothing. Your way or the highway.”
She gasped. “My way?” She struggled to keep her voice low. To stay in control. “You’re the one who left.”
“Yeah, because you kicked me out then, too.” He stood. “I’ll go. But I want the right to see Scott. Not just for a week in the summer or a few days at Christmas. I want to set up regular visitations.”
“Why? You won’t be here. You’ll leave Cowboy Creek and disappear again. You’ll make promises you won’t keep. Terry did that, too. And I won’t let that happen to Scott again.”
“I never broke any promises to him.”
Now it was her turn to laugh bitterly. “Of course not. How could you? You’d never even met him.”
* * *
HE DROVE THROUGH the night, making it halfway to Fort Worth before giving up. He turned back toward Cowboy Creek again, knowing the rodeo wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. Not knowing where else to go.
The day started off on a dark note with the sun struggling to escape a bank of black clouds. A perfect match to his mood. By the time he pulled into the parking area behind the Hitching Post, the clouds had lifted but his mood stayed the same.
He found Jed sitting in a rocker on the back porch, watching the few horses standing in the corral, their manes ruffling in the breeze.
“Have a seat.” Jed nodded toward the rocking chair beside his. “You look a mite out of sorts.”
“Yeah. I’ve left Layne’s,” he admitted. His first inclination when he’d driven away from her apartment had been to head back to Dallas to stay. But what would that accomplish except to rob him of the chance to say goodbye to Scott?
He should have swung by Shay’s farm to see the kids, but in the heat of the moment, the thought hadn’t occurred to him.
In the middle of the night, he’d known he had to return to Cowboy Creek. Hours later, he had found himself turning the truck onto the long road to Garland Ranch, a place where he had always felt comfortable. And yet he perched on the seat of his rocker, feeling too edgy to sit back and relax.
“Leaving a place shouldn’t make a man look this upset,” Jed said. “Unless, of course, he didn’t go on his own terms.”
“We had a fight,” he confessed. “A bad one.”
Jed nodded and set his rocker into motion. “Well, it’s not uncommon for people to scrap when they’re trying to get used to living together—which is essentially what you two were doing this week.”
“We’d already lived together.” That hadn’t worked out, either.
“Yeah, but you were still in the newlywed stage back then. You’re different people now.”
Just what Layne had said. I’m not who I was before.
And he’d walked out on her. Again.
What had happened to the better man he’d become?
To his surprise, Jed chuckled. “When it came to arguments, my Mary and I had a few doozies after we were first hitched. To tell you the truth, much later on, we both admitted we had our doubts the marriage would last.”
“I’m glad yours did. Mine didn’t.”
“You weren’t alone, son. You and Layne each had a hand in whatever went wrong. The going was tough, I’ll grant you that. You were both youngsters, both immature. But I can see you’re a changed man, even if you can’t tell the difference. You’ve got to put the past behind you and think about today.”
The wooden rockers of Jed’s chair against the porch let out a squeak. The sound made him think of the noise the weather vane on the barn back in Dallas made in a high wind. On long nights when he couldn’t sleep, that weather vane kept him company. It soothed him, the way Jed obviously was attempting to do now.
Still, he had to confess. “Yeah, I’ve changed. But our conversation last night wasn’t the best example of showing that.”
“Then think about this week. Look how much you’ve done for Layne since you’ve been back.”
She sure didn’t see it that way. She had done nothing but put up her guard. Resist. Fight back at almost every turn. And then kick him out.
“Speaking of doing things...” Jed began.
He stiffened on the edge of his seat. The older man stared out toward the corral as if he’d seen one of the mares take flight in the wind. Or as if he suddenly didn’t want to make eye contact. Jason tightened his grip on his Stetson.
“That brings me to another point. We’ve got a room available now. And as you’re not going to be doing much at Layne’s, I’ve got a proposition for you.” Jed looked over at him again. “One of the boys has asked for some time off. With Pete still on his honeymoon, that leaves us short on men around here. If you’re willing to help out, we could use an extra hand.”
Again, his first inclination was to rely on Dallas, to use that as his excuse to get away from Cowboy Creek—and away from the memory of his argument with Layne.
And again, he knew he couldn’t just walk away. Not when he hadn’t said goodbye to Scott or Jill or made arrangements with Layne to see his son. “I can stay on for a few days,” he agreed, settling back into the rocker. Working here would give him a reason to hang around. It could give Layne some time to calm down.
And with luck, it would let him get past the fact he’d done all he could and she still didn’t trust him.
* * *
JASON WOULD HAVE chosen the bunkhouse over staying at the hotel, but Jed had insisted he take the room promised to him. He had also invited him to eat supper with the Garlands.
“We’re short two at the family table with Pete and Jane away,” he had said. “We’d be happy for the extra company.”
To tell the truth, he had enjoyed the meal as well as the time with Jed’s family. They had kept him from dwelling on thoughts of Layne and the kids. That could explain why, after supper, he got up from the table and made his way with everyone else to the Hitching Post’s sitting room.
He took a seat in a leather high-backed chair that was comfortable but didn’t seem made for him, the way Layne’s stuffed armchair did. Maybe familiarity had made it feel that way. In just a few short days, he’d gotten used to staying in the apartment, taking walks with Layne and the kids, and even sleeping in that armchair.
“Jason?” Jed said in a loud voice. “You with us?”
So much for keeping his thoughts in chec
k. “I’m here.” He patted his stomach. “I’m about ready to nod off after all that good food, though. Paz, you’re one heck of a cook.”
She waved a hand. “It’s nothing. But I thank you. And now I’ll go back to the kitchen. You know where that is, Jason, if you need a snack later.”
Paz had always wanted to feed him as if, like Mrs. B, she had somehow known he didn’t get many home-cooked meals. “I doubt I’ll get hungry again anytime soon after that meal, Paz. But I’ll keep it in mind, especially if you’re talking leftovers.”
“That will be an option,” Jed said. “She cooks enough for an army.”
“You have a small platoon here, even without any hotel guests.” Almost a dozen people were scattered around the room, more than half of them Jed’s granddaughters and their kids, with a husband and a fiancé thrown in. “And that’s not counting the newlyweds.”
“Nothing like having family around,” Jed said contentedly.
Again, Jason’s thoughts strayed. This time, to Scott... His family.
On the other side of the room, Cole and Mitch were helping a couple of Jed’s great-grandkids set up a plastic corral for a herd of toy horses. Jason wandered that way. “Need an extra pair of hands?”
Mitch looked up. “Always. In fact, you can take my place. I’m going to check on the baby. She’s teething and on the cranky side.”
“You put her teething rings in the refrigerator? That’s what Layne does.”
The other man laughed. “Looks like she’s breaking you in right.”
Or breaking me down.
He took a seat on the floor beside Cole and Tina’s son, Robbie, who was a couple of years older than Scott.
“You can help,” Robbie said, handing over two plastic pieces of the fence.
“What are we doing?”
“Making a corral for the horses. The other corral was just boxes. Just pretend. But this one’s for real.”
“Well, let me see what I can do.”
“Speaking of real,” Cole said, “I hope you’ve got some fence-repairing skills. We’ve got a stretch of pasture that needs some work done on it.”
Judging by his lack of success with Layne, he didn’t have any fence-mending skills at all. Still, he nodded. “I think I can handle that, boss.” As acting manager while Pete was away, Cole would give him his orders. He didn’t see why they couldn’t work together—as long as the subject of Layne didn’t come up.
“Jason, how’s Layne feeling?” Cole’s wife, Tina, asked.
So much for that thought of his, too. “Fine. I think she’s just about over her flu.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Jed said. “She’s got to make it out this way for dinner this weekend.”
“I’m sure she’s looking forward to that.” He glanced at Robbie. “Scott’s been talking about you and your horses. I know he wants to come for the visit, too.”
“He likes horses.”
“And cars and coloring.” He couldn’t help but smile as he recalled Scott’s crayon stubs and his excitement over getting a new coloring book.
As he reached for another section of fencing, he caught Cole’s gaze on him. He expected a stony-eyed stare but was surprised to see the other man’s thoughtful expression. He recalled what Cole had said to him about Layne.
I’ll break your neck before I let you break her heart again.
Cole appeared mellow enough now, but things weren’t always the way they seemed. Instead, the man could easily be plotting ways to make good on his threat.
Chapter Sixteen
Jason reined in and dismounted, then handed the reins of his mount over to the stable boy. A few yards away, Cole did the same.
They had spent some long, chilly hours out on the ranch during these past couple of days fixing the fence line, checking on the water pipe Cole had repaired and moving some of the herd to a pasture with more vegetation. Casual conversation wasn’t much on their agenda, but the talking they had done had been civil.
Inside the barn, they found Jed and Robbie in front of Daffodil’s stall.
“Hi, Daddy. Hi, Jason.” Robbie stood on a small stool feeding Daffodil a carrot. “Daffy’s hungry.”
“She’s not the only one.” Jed laughed. He turned to explain to Jason. “When Paz gives Robbie a carrot for Daffodil, she gives him a cookie for himself.”
Jason laughed, too. “I’ll bet Daffodil is the best-fed horse in the stable.”
“You wouldn’t be far wrong,” Cole said from the workbench near the office. “Robbie’s got quite a sweet tooth.”
“Yeah, Scott, too. Especially when it comes to syrup on his pancakes.”
“I like chocolate candy,” Robbie announced. “And chocolate chips in my pancakes.”
“So does Scott. That’s his second favorite after the syrup.”
Jed clapped Robbie on the shoulder. “Well, Daffodil’s about finished, and we need to get back to the house and clean up for supper.”
“That makes two of us,” Jason said.
“You coming, Cole?” Jed asked.
“No, you all go ahead. I’ve got some work to catch up on. I’ll be there in a bit.”
When the three of them left the barn, Robbie ran ahead to the Hitching Post’s back porch. Jason walked beside Jed, who seemed content to amble.
Unlike Cole, the older man always had talk on his agenda. “Looks like you’ve gotten to know a lot about Scott’s preferences in just the week or so you’ve been here.”
“And gotten to miss him in just these couple of days.”
“They’ll all be here for a few hours tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” A few hours, and what then? Layne would go back home and do her best to keep herself and the kids away from him. In the short time before he had to leave town again, his chances of getting her to agree to visitations with Scott would be slim.
His chances of her ever trusting him were already nonexistent.
In their last conversation, her words and tone of voice and expression had all told him more than she probably wanted him to know. Jill’s daddy had hurt Layne badly. The way he’d let down both kids had hurt her even more. The experience had left her without any faith in men altogether, and especially in the two she’d once married.
She would always compare her first husband to her second one, and in her eyes, they would both always come out looking the same.
He couldn’t worry any more about getting Layne to trust him. She might never let down her guard, and he would have to live with what he had done to make her raise it. But he couldn’t live any longer without seeing his son on a regular basis. No matter how reluctant she was to grant them, he would fight for his rights.
Beside him, his companion had gone silent as if he were somehow aware of the thoughts filling his mind. Jason adjusted the brim of his Stetson, cleared his throat, and sighed.
“You might as well come out with it, boy,” Jed said quietly. “You’re about as easy to read as one of Robbie’s schoolbooks.”
He pictured Scott with his storybooks and recalled how raptly his son paid attention while his daddy turned the pages and read to him. He thought about when he might next have a chance to spend time with Scott. Reality hit, and his heart thudded.
The reaction told him even frequent visitations wouldn’t be enough.
He needed to be able to drop by on the spur of the moment to take Scott to the park or for ice cream, to bring him a new coloring book, to read him another story, to tuck him into bed. He couldn’t pass up any chance to be with his son. Which meant he couldn’t leave Cowboy Creek.
“Jed, you said you were shorthanded with Pete gone, and I know he and Jane are coming back home tonight. But some of the hands were telling me you’d mentioned needing another man around the place. I’d like to hea
d back to Dallas and work out my notice, then pick up the rest of my gear and get back here as soon as I can. I’d like to fill the job permanently, if you’ll have me.”
“I’m more than willing to take you on. You ought to know that.” Jed clapped him on the shoulder the way he’d done to Robbie. “I’m just thankful you’ve decided to come to your senses.”
* * *
BY SATURDAY, LAYNE felt well enough to take on a few more hours at SugarPie’s.
When they reached a brief lull just before the noon rush, Sugar took her aside in one corner of the shop’s kitchen. “I don’t want you wearing yourself out.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m feeling much better, and I’ve been catching up on sleep.” To tell the truth, since Jason had left, she had gone to bed early both nights to keep from sitting alone in the living room. If she felt his absence so strongly after this short time, she didn’t want to imagine how Scott must feel.
She set an empty teapot beneath the hot water spout and watched to make sure she filled the pot to the brim. “Mrs. Browley just came in, and you know how she likes her tea.” She liked to tip well, too, and Layne could use all the tips she could get. With the refrigerator and pantry emptying, she was back to needing extra money to make up for the days she had been sick. She couldn’t—and wouldn’t—count on Jason’s offer of help.
In the small back office off the kitchen, the telephone rang. “I’ll get that,” Sugar said.
“I’ll take this out.” Carrying a tray with the teapot on it, she left Sugar and went into the dining area of the shop.
“Well, this is lovely,” Mrs. Browley said. “Why don’t you sit and have a cup with me, Layne?”
A quick look around the shop showed no new customers had come in. Sugar had stayed in the kitchen and must still be on the phone or she would certainly have joined them by now. “I’ll pass on the tea, thanks. But I can sit and chat for a minute.” She perched on the edge of the bench seat.
“I was disappointed not to have you and Jason and the children stop in to see me again.”
“I’ve been on the run quite a bit.” On the run from thoughts of Jason. “And I’m working extra hours today. Scott’s still talking about your cookies, though. He loved them.”
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