“Well, there will be more waiting for you when you stop in. I made another batch of chocolate chip today. They’re Jason’s favorites, too, you know. He used to eat them by the dozen when he was a boy.”
“You baked cookies for him?”
“I did. And I cooked for him, too, when I could get him to sit down long enough to eat. His mother wasn’t good at much but making frozen dinners and ordering takeout. He was too proud to stop by often—though I could always entice him with the chocolate chips.”
Just as he had enticed her with a pint of chocolate-marshmallow swirl ice cream. She didn’t want to think about his treat or the taste of vanilla ice cream on his lips. She didn’t want to recall her Mama’s Night Off or—most especially—the way that night had ended.
“Are you having your Saturday usual, Mrs. Browley?” The “usual” was pastrami on rye with extra mustard and two dill pickles. Even before she had filled the teapot, she could have had Sugar make the sandwich. After Mrs. Browley had nodded, Layne smiled and stood. “Be back in a few minutes.”
In the kitchen, she relayed the order.
“As I figured.” Sugar had already set out the rye bread. But she frowned. “Are you sure you’re all right to work?”
“I’m fine, really. And I’ll have some time tomorrow to take it easy.”
And the rest of the day forced to be around Jason.
“You still planning on going out to Jed’s?” Sugar asked.
She nodded. Normally, she looked forward to their visits to Garland Ranch, but not this one. How could she miss Jason so much at the apartment and yet dread the idea of seeing him at the Hitching Post? She almost winced at the echo of what he had said at the Big Dipper when she didn’t want to let him go off with Scott and had refused to leave Jill alone with him.
At your apartment, you were willing enough to take my help. But now we’re out in public, something’s different?
She had denied it, of course, and would deny it now. But somewhere inside, she knew the truth. The fewer people who saw her relying on him, the easier it would be for her to save face once he’d left.
“Oh, yes,” she told Sugar, “we’re still going out to the ranch. Scott’s ecstatic about getting to play with Robbie and his horses and maybe go for a ride on Bingo.” Yet this morning, he had seemed uninterested when she mentioned their visit, and the motorway Jason had made for him lay pushed aside in the corner of the living room.
She hoped he wasn’t coming down with the flu. But she suspected his listlessness came from the same reasons that had made her go to bed early.
According to all reports—from Cole, from Tina, from Shay, and even from Sugar when she had arrived at work this morning—Jason was still at the Hitching Post. Almost everyone in town seemed to know where he had gone.
Everyone but Scott.
His puzzled expression reminded her so much of the man he still didn’t know was his daddy. His questions nearly broke her heart.
Where Jason go, Mommy?
Jason read story tonight?
Jason come home tomorrow?
No, Jason wouldn’t “come home tomorrow.” But Scott would see him then. After dinner, they would leave the ranch, and all the questions would begin again.
Again, she weighed the difference between hit-or-miss visits and a real relationship and knew where Jason would fall in the balance.
“That was Jed on the phone,” Sugar said casually.
“What’s up? Did he say anything about tomorrow?” She grabbed the tongs and took a couple of pickles from the container in the refrigerated case.
“Just that he was looking forward to having you and the kids come for dinner.”
“That’s great.”
“Oh, and that Jason’s heading back to Dallas.”
The cold container slipped from her fingers and hit the preparation counter, spewing pickle juice over the clean surface. She lunged for the paper towel dispenser and wiped the spill before the juice could drip to the floor. Gaze focused on her task, she said, “Jason’s leaving?” Even to her own ears, her voice sounded high and tight and thready.
“Yes. Jed said he’s eager to get back home.”
“I can imagine. He’s been here for a while now.”
A while she couldn’t hope would last forever.
He had never said a word about seeing her again, and she could live with that. But what had happened to his claim he wanted a relationship with Scott? To his plan to talk to her about rights and visitation?
“I’ll take this sandwich out,” Sugar said. “Layne, you ought to sit down. You’re looking very pale all of a sudden.”
She waited till Sugar had left, then sank onto the high wooden stool beside the counter. Turning pale was the least of her reactions.
She had been tearing herself up inside about the way her last conversation with Jason had ended. Now, she gave thanks she hadn’t made any agreements with him. She gave more thanks she hadn’t told him she’d given him her heart again. All those yearnings to relent and trust him, all those wants and hopes and dreams, had come to nothing—just as their wild and crazy relationship had always been destined to arrive at that same end.
She wasn’t wrong about him. He was walking away from her and, worse, walking away from her son.
If he could leave without even saying goodbye to Scott, why would he make any promises to come back?
Even if he did make promises, what did it matter, when she knew he would only break them?
Chapter Seventeen
After the hotel’s breakfast buffet on Sunday, Jason wandered out to the corral. Robbie had asked to go for a ride on Bingo, the small Shetland Jed kept for the kids. Cole was standing outside the corral fence, watching his son as the stable hand led him and the pony into the corral.
Robbie mounted without help, then took up the reins. Bingo started off at a leisurely trot.
Cole looked about ready to burst with pride.
Jason could understand the feeling. “Looks like a pro already.”
Cole nodded. “He’s got a ways to go, but he’s getting there. He’s had some experience.”
“Good thing. A kid living on a ranch needs to feel at home in the saddle.”
For a few minutes, they watched Robbie and Bingo.
Eventually, Cole said, “Scott comes out to ride once in a while. He’s not as comfortable on horseback, but then, Layne never has the time to run him out here for some practice.”
Wondering if that was a dig at him for not being around to lighten Layne’s workload, he looked at the other man.
I’ll teach him to ride, he wanted to say. I’ll be around from now on.
But he hadn’t told anyone except Jed about his plans.
“Being a mama’s not easy,” he said instead.
“Or a daddy. Either way, it’s a challenge, let me tell you. But one I wouldn’t give up. Some folks aren’t cut out for the responsibility, though.”
Here it comes. The blast he’d been expecting since he’d first seen the man again. He tightened his grip on the fence rail, intending to keep the same tight hold on his temper.
“Terry was worthless,” Cole continued, surprising him. “Scott missed out on a lot of things while he was in the picture. Still, kids catch on fast, given the right start. A couple of years putting in some riding time, and he’ll be Robbie’s age and looking like a pro, too.”
“Yeah.” He had to swallow hard past the lump in his throat. I’d like to be around for those years. I’ve missed too many other important ones.
He missed his son. For about the thousandth time that morning, he shot another look at his watch to make sure the second hand was still moving. According to Jed’s estimate, Scott and Jill and Layne should be arriving soon.
“Kids catch on
,” Cole said again, “but we can’t catch up. And it’s not easy knowing we can’t turn back time.”
“What good would that do? Things would all just turn out the same.”
“I imagine some would and some wouldn’t. But the truth is, nobody knows which. There’s no point in worrying over it. Like I told Layne, all we can do is go forward.”
“I’m trying that for Scott’s sake, but your sister doesn’t seem inclined to go along.”
“That could be. Remember when you and Layne first came to me about you two getting married?”
He nodded.
“I talked to her afterward. I was dead set against signing the paperwork and wanted her to give it some time, to wait until she was of age. But she kept coming at me with reasons until she hit on the one that made me say yes.” Cole stared at him for a moment, his gaze level and his expression neutral. “You need to find another way to state your case.”
After a moment, Cole leaned on the rail and went back to watching the activity in the corral.
He did the same, both surprised and pleased at the man’s show of support. They stood there in silence. As he watched Cole’s little boy on the Shetland, he pictured his son’s face and he heard his son’s laugh.
It took him a minute to realize the laughter wasn’t just in his mind.
Cole turned back toward the Hitching Post before he did.
“Uncle Cole!” Scott called, sounding more excited than Jason had ever heard him before.
He turned.
Scott spotted him. “Jason!” he shrieked, more excited still. He ran across the yard toward them, not headed for his uncle, not focused on Robbie or Bingo, but running right to him with his arms outstretched.
Dropping into a crouch, he caught his son in a bear hug. His throat tightened. He tried to speak but couldn’t get out a word. Instead, he buried his face against his boy’s baby-soft hair. And he wished with everything in him that he had the power to turn back time.
* * *
LAYNE WATCHED JASON hug Scott and suddenly felt as light-headed as if she’d been hit with another round of the flu.
They were both oblivious to her approach, but Cole stood watching her. By the time she reached them, Jason had settled her son on his hip. Scott rested his head against Jason’s chest. Starbursts of pain exploded in her head. She put one hand on the corral railing to steady herself.
“Cole,” she said quietly, “could you take Scott in to see Grandpa Jed?”
“Sure.”
He reached for Scott, who clung to Jason. “Wanna stay, Mommy. Please?”
“You...you can see Jason again in a little while, honey. But I know Grandpa Jed and Paz want to see you, too.”
“C’mon, Scotty.”
Cole reached for him, and this time, Scott went without protest. He waved at them over Cole’s shoulder. “Bye, Jason. Bye, Mommy.”
They both said goodbye and waved in return.
As soon as Cole and Scott were out of earshot, she turned to Jason. “What are you doing? Isn’t it bad enough you’re leaving? Do you have to make sure Scott’s even more attached to you before you go?”
“Who says I’m leaving?”
“Sugar says. And Jed told her, so please don’t try to tell me it’s not true.”
“I’m not leaving Scott again, no matter what.”
“Right. As if I can’t see through that. I’ve fielded enough lies and broken promises when it comes to my son.”
“Our son, dammit.” He slammed his hand on the fence rail. “The least you can do is acknowledge I’m his daddy. And you’re jumping to conclusions without giving me a chance, the way you did years ago when you threw me out. I’ve done everything I can think of to make amends, to show you I’m sorry for walking away.” He swallowed visibly and took a deep breath. “Get this. I...am...not...leaving. Not this time. Not permanently. Jed’s hired me on, and I’m headed back to Dallas only to pick up all my gear.”
He took another, deeper breath and let it out more slowly. “I didn’t lie about wanting a relationship with Scott—an ongoing relationship. I want to be here to see him whenever I can. If there’s nothing else we can agree on, I hope we can come to terms on that.”
Her vision blurred. “I can’t trust you—”
“You won’t trust me. That’s what you mean. Layne, Terry doesn’t want to see Jill. Or Scott. I want to see them both. I’m not Terry. But you’re never going to see me for who I am, are you?” Again, he took a breath. “You’ve made me a victim in the fallout from your second divorce. All right, I can deal with that, one way or another. But by cutting me off from Scott, you’ve made him a victim, too. And that’s something I can’t handle.”
* * *
“YOU SURE YOU won’t stay to supper and just head out in the morning?” Jed frowned. For some reason, Jason had made a last-minute change of plans. “We’re having a celebration, after all, with the newlyweds home again. And anyhow, I thought you were staying the rest of the weekend.”
The boy wouldn’t meet his eyes, just stood shaking his head. “The sooner I get to Dallas, the sooner I can be back.”
“And you will be back?” That earned him a look.
“Of course.”
“Does this sudden rush to leave town have something to do with Layne?”
Jason sighed. “Jed, everything has to do with Layne, one way or another. She’s Scott’s mama. But to answer you directly, no. No matter what she says or thinks, I’m coming back to stay.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. Your room’ll be waiting.”
Jason shook his head. “I’m not going to tie up one of your hotel rooms. When I get back, I’ll bunk down with the rest of the hands.”
“What for? You’re family.” This time, his comment brought a laugh.
“I’m the ex-husband of your grandson-in-law’s sister.”
“That’s good enough for me.”
“Thanks. But I’ll still take the bunkhouse.” Jason reached out to shake hands. “I’ll call you once I talk to my ranch manager and know the date I’ll be headed back.”
“You do that.” Leaning against the porch rail, he watched while the boy went around to the parking area and climbed into his pickup truck. He continued to watch until the truck became a mere speck in the road.
He was standing in the same position a few minutes later when Tina and Paz came out onto the porch.
“We’ve been looking all over for you,” Tina said. “It’s almost time to eat. What are you doing out here?”
“Seeing Jason off.”
“Off?” Paz repeated. She sank onto the porch swing and looked at him in dismay.
“Where is he going?” Tina asked.
“Back to Dallas to pick up whatever he owns and come home.”
“Home?” Paz echoed. “You mean home to Layne?”
“Or just home to Cowboy Creek?”
He shook his head at Tina. “Don’t be so negative. The boy wanted a job here, and I’ve given it to him. That’s one step he’s taking in the right direction. I told him we’d have a room waiting—though he’s insisting on bunking with the other hands. What I didn’t bother mentioning was, I also have high hopes of keeping my successful matchmaking run going.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Abuelo. From the way he’s been avoiding Layne this afternoon, it looks like he’s given up on a reconciliation with her. And she might be even harder to convince.”
“Don’t be so sure. Yesterday, I specifically told Sugar to let Layne know Jason was leaving...but not that he planned to come back. The girl’s reaction was everything we could have hoped for.”
Paz gasped. “She was upset,”
“Darned straight, she was. And that was my entire point—to show her just how she would feel if he took off again. Sh
e’s still resisting, but I’ve got thoughts on how to handle that.” He smiled. “Don’t you worry, ladies, I’m not giving up. Those two are meant to be together. You know it. I know it. Now, we just have to help them see it, too.”
* * *
FOR THE FIRST time in days, Layne heard boot steps in the hallway. At the triple tap on the door, she shook her head. Cole. Since her trip with the kids out to the Hitching Post on Sunday, he or Tina had called her daily. And now here he was in person.
When she opened the door, Scott greeted Cole with his usual enthusiasm, a shade less energetic than the way he had thrown himself into Jason’s arms outside the corral. She blinked. Every replay she made of that moment left her misty-eyed.
“Checking up on me?” she asked, her voice unsteady.
“Just checking in. I had to stop by the hardware store again and figured I’d swing by.”
“Good to see you.” She led him into the kitchen. “What’ll it be?”
He took a seat at the table, and if he noticed the absence of the extra place mat, he didn’t comment on it. “Sweet tea. And maybe some sympathy.”
“Sympathy?” she asked, startled, thinking immediately of Tina and the baby on the way. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing with me. I’m offering it to you.”
She smiled wryly as she went to the refrigerator. “What makes you think I need it?”
“Sugar says you seem down.”
“Just a delayed reaction from the flu.”
“Is it? Or is it the result of what happened out at the ranch the other day?”
“You mean Scott’s big hello to Jason?”
“No, I mean your reaction to Scott’s big hello to Jason and then the fact he left town less than an hour after your conversation.”
“Coincidence.”
“I don’t think so.”
Though she tried to shrug off his statement, she couldn’t fool Cole. As she set his glass of tea on the table, he gave her the big-brother look that had always made her fess up. And truthfully, she felt the need of a confession.
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