I'm Your Santa

by Castell, Dianne

  Everyone clapped again and Handsome said, “But we didn’t sign anything except…” His gaze fused with Terrance. “Oh, damn, the flowers.”

  Terrance grinned and Handsome’s mother added, “And you did say the obligatory ‘I do’ for my completely hideous peace signs. I didn’t rightly know how I was going to pull that one off, but I did!”

  Rebecca kissed Handsome on the cheek then LuLu. “We got our Christmas Eve wedding after all, and it is truly wonderful like I planned, just a different bride is all.”

  LuLu shook her head to try and clear her thoughts. “I don’t believe I really got married in black slacks held together by a safety pin and a wrinkled blouse that I wore yesterday? That is so not wonderful.”

  “But you have to admit you had really great flowers,” Rebecca said.

  Handsome said, “But what if we don’t want to be married? Ever think of that?”

  “Of course you do,” Isabella chimed in. “The two of you have been together at every turn and with only knowing each other for such a short time that counts a lot. You two were meant to be.”

  LuLu said, “Except there’s a little glitch. I don’t want someone in my life’s who’s leaving…again. I have bad man-leaving karma and that’s a big part of who Hand…I mean Sebastian is.”

  Handsome said, “And I broke up with Bevvy because I don’t want to have someone here worrying about me. Remember that little scene at Slim’s where you all nearly took my head off and it started everyone arguing? Well, it’s the truth, I didn’t make it up on the spot. I’ve thought about all of this a lot.”

  Rebecca took Handsome’s hand. “Honey, the real reason you broke up with Bevvy is that you don’t love her. You do love LuLu, we can all see that, and Bevvy is wacko over Bruno. I’ve seen a lot of couples and you and LuLu are made to go the distance.”

  Judge Jude said, “And that’s exactly how she convinced me to do this wedding. Said there was a soldier getting ready to ship out and needed a boost in the right direction to marry the woman of his dreams. Give him someone to come home to.” He winked at LuLu. “That would be you.”

  LuLu said, “But we don’t think we need a boost. We don’t want to be together.”

  Isabella pursed her lips and winked. “You two weren’t playing tiddledywinks under that table in the dining room last night, I’ll bet my miniskirt on that. Today is Christmas Eve and tomorrow Christmas and it’ll take a lawyer to undo this marriage. So that gives you two a day and a half to realize you’re meant to be.”

  LuLu growled and sliced her hand through the air to get everyone’s attention, “Listen. To. Me. We, as in Sebastian and I, are not meant to be together in spite of what you all think and all your elaborate plans. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”

  “But you were trying to get us hooked up as they say,” Isabella grinned, taking Terrance’s hand.

  “That was to get you all from throwing me and Sebastian together. Give you all something to focus on besides us. Then it changed to just getting you together for your own sakes.” She rolled her eyes to the top of her head to see if her hair was as fried as it felt. “This has turned into matchmaking hell.”

  Handsome added, “Look, we know what we’re doing.”

  Cordell said, “Ten years from now you’ll be thanking us at your anniversary party.”

  LuLu faced Handsome. “Talk to them and then think of someway to get us out of this mess.”

  Isabella huffed, “You think marrying my Sebastian is a mess?”

  “Okay, call it borderline insanity.”

  “Well, I never.”

  “And I so wish you meant that. I don’t want to be married to anyone and I’m sorry I ruined your Christmas Eve plans but this isn’t going to work.”

  LuLu snagged her Joseph’s coat from the hall clothes tree, yanked on her boots and was out the door. She stopped on the front porch, the clear blue sky and bright sun refreshing compared to the pandemonium inside. “Holy crap! What have I done?”

  “What have we done,” Handsome said pulling up beside her. “Just so you know, I had nothing to do with this. I don’t want to be married.”

  “I want it less than you do.”

  “I doubt that.”

  She gave him an evil look. “Let’s not make this personal, okay.”

  Handsome held up his hands in surrender. “If you were Gwyneth Paltrow I wouldn’t want to marry you.”

  “But you’d consider being married to me if I was Gwyneth Paltrow?”

  Handsome shook his head. “One more time…No Gwyneth, no you, no anyone. I really meant it when I said I didn’t want to leave a wife, and you would be a wife with a kid and that makes it double tough. Way too much to be concerned about for both of us. Now let’s go tell your sister before the early edition of the O’Fallon’s Landing gossip gazette spills the beans to her before we do. It’s not the way you want a family member to find out you’re hitched.”

  “It’s noonish on Christmas Eve so I’m guessing Callie’s at Slim’s doing a little Christmas celebrating with her family, her new other family.” She felt a little twinge. For so many years it was her and Callie, but now she has her own life and that is a good thing but…

  “New? Other?” They started to walk.

  “She was just married and her husband has two brothers and a baby sister.”

  Handsome raised his brows. “They have a baby sister as in…baby?”

  “A long story about a kidnapping and missing disk and some bad guys and people falling in love. I’ll tell you sometime.” Because telling him about it now made her feel alone and she didn’t want a pity party.

  A sprinkle of snow drifted down adding to what was already on the ground. “The Mississippi looks really cold and forbidding from here, and I can relate to the forbidding part. I’m not exactly the little sister Callie hoped I’d be. I think she was hoping for Little-Miss-Perfect; she wanted me to be a lawyer like our dad.” LuLu put her hand over her stomach. “I am so far from perfect it’s scary. And now I’m not perfect, I’m married, and I’m pregnant by a guy who’s a jerk. Some Christmas present for Callie.”

  They stood in front of Slim’s. “I’ll go in with you to tell your sister. I can be great moral support. I should come.”

  “You’re all handsome and honorable and patriotic and there’s not a darn thing wrong with you. In fact, you’re the one who’s perfect. Compared to Jerome, you rate a twelve on the one-to-ten scale. Heck, next to me you rate a twelve on the one-to-ten scale. So here’s the thing, Callie will look at you and you’ll say something charming and smile and she’ll never get why I don’t want to be married to you. She raised me after our parents died so she’s more mother than sister, especially at this kind of thing. You know, the white picket fence routine, dog in the backyard, minivan in the drive, husband on the arm.”

  “Meaning she’ll want us married.”

  “Bingo.”

  “Even if I tell her I don’t want to be married, either?”

  “She won’t hear that because she’ll still be charmed by your smile.”

  “Are you charmed?”

  “Of course. I’m pregnant not dead.”

  His gaze met hers through the flakes of Christmas Eve snow and her heart jumped. She’d always feel that way when she looked at Handsome and it wasn’t just because he was handsome. It was because he was all those things her sister would admire about him. “So here’s the deal. I’m going to tell Callie all by myself and you go find us an attorney. That way we can get this over with and move on with our lives and get everything back the way it was before we signed for those darn flowers.”

  Five

  LuLu pushed open the door to Slim’s and some I’ve-lost-my-baby-at-Christmas tune whining from the juke box. Callie and Keefe, her new husband, sat at a round paint-chipped table with Ryan, his brother, and new wife Effie, and third brother Quaid and his wife Cynthia. The triple wedding that married all three couples was the best event LuLu had ever been to and that inc
luded the Garth Brooks concert she saw on her eighteenth birthday.

  “Hey, little sister,” Callie said and waved her over. “You missed your morning shift, and should I ask why you didn’t come home last night?”

  She studied the six pair of eyes focused on her. What the heck. In less than five minutes they’d all hear about it from someone else in town anyway. “Okay, the long version is I wasn’t here because I had to set things up over at Hastings House for the wedding—”

  “Nonwedding,” Callie corrected. “Least that’s what I hear.”

  “Well, that brings us to the short version of this story. There was a wedding after all…mine.”

  Callie stopped her eggnog halfway to her lips and stared at LuLu. “Huh?” Typical family reaction.

  “It wasn’t my idea or even done with my consent.”

  “You were drugged into getting married?”

  “Tricked and so was the groom and now we’re trying to get out of it, and I didn’t even have a great dress but I did have incredible flowers, I’ll have to show you.”

  “You didn’t ask me, your own sister?”

  “I didn’t know I was married till the judge said you may kiss the bride. Gave new meaning to the term quickie wedding. And there’s more.”

  Callie whimpered and Keefe splashed her nog with whiskey from the bottle on the table. She gulped. “Okay, I’m ready, give it to me.”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Callie took the bottle and swigged straight from it, her eyes watering as she choked. “If you’re having his baby maybe you should stay married. Least give it a chance.”

  “Except…” oh, boy, “it isn’t his baby. I know, I’m a slut, least I sound like one but I’m really not, just bad-man karma.”

  “I had that once,” Cynthia chimed in. “Till I met Quaid.” She kissed him on the cheek making him blush. “You just have to find your Quaid and all will be well.”

  Callie closed her eyes and banged her head on the table. “Kids.”

  “I hate dumping all this on you but I’ve got it covered.”

  “Honey, being Joseph at the manger is not a full-time career move with a baby on the way.”

  “Granted, I’m not too good in the men department. Actually, I suck. But I am good at directing. Rebecca-the-wedding-planner is up to her armpits in weddings and I can get a job with her. That will keep me nearby and I can do a lot of the job with a baby in tow and get a sitter when I need one.”

  “It won’t be that easy, I can promise you that.”

  Keefe nodded at his brothers. “Wait a minute. It doesn’t have to be all that hard either. Hell, we can all sit the babe. God knows we’ve had practice enough with Bonnie. They can grow up together.”

  LuLu blinked a few times. “I’m stunned that you would even offer.”

  Quaid laughed. “Get used to it. They adopted me and now they’re adopting you and your baby. It’s what the O’Fallons do and they do it really well.”

  “But I can handle this.”

  “With help.” Ryan grinned. “Everyone needs help once in awhile.”

  “I…he…you all blow me away.” LuLu felt a lump the size of Tennesee lodge in her throat. Now these were great guys like Handsome. Except there was no place for Handsome in her life.

  Quaid chuckled. “Just don’t blow too far.”

  LuLu said to Callie, “You raised me and had a career and I can do the same thing. I’m not taking on any more than you did, I’m just coming at it from a different angle.”

  LuLu put her arms around Callie and hugged her tight. “Be happy, I am. I wasn’t at first but like our mother said, it’s always better to be bringing another chair to the family table than taking one away.”

  “Amen,” Keefe said. He stood looking a little less friendly. “Now I want to meet this guy you married. We all do. What kind of man would let you come in here and face this all alone.”

  “I didn’t,” came Handsome’s voice from behind her. She spun around as he strolled over. “I’m Sebastian Moore.” He shook everyone’s hands. “My family is responsible for this wedding, not that I don’t care for LuLu but I’m shipping overseas in a few days and we agree that marriage is not what we want. My family thought otherwise.”

  Keefe held up a longneck in salute. “And I thought our dad was interfering. We’ve met his match. So, you don’t love LuLu and she doesn’t love you, is that it?”

  LuLu swallowed. “Well, that’s not the issue. It’s more to do with Handsome going and—”

  “Handsome?” Ryan grinned. “Interesting name.”

  LuLu felt herself redden. “I mean Sebastian. The other is sort of a nickname and you all know that love isn’t everything. There are other issues you have to consider when getting married and those other issues don’t work for us.”

  The three couples exchanged looks then broke into laughter that really seemed to go on for a while. Ryan finally managed, “Oh boy, am I glad I’m beyond that. I moved back to San Diego and took a new fancy job before I realized all that mattered was loving Effie.” He kissed her on the head and then nuzzled her ear before Quaid said, “Hey, not in front of the kids.”

  Keefe said, “I was so in love with Callie and so confused over what the heck I was doing that I let some thugs steal my baby sister right out of our house. Not the highlight of my life.”

  Callie said, “Love is all that matters.” She smiled at Handsome and LuLu. “Trust your big sister on this one.”

  LuLu shook her head. “Maybe that works for you all, but this is different.”

  Effie took Ryan’s hand. “That’s what everyone of us has said and then we’ve come to our senses. With luck, you will, too.”

  LuLu wasn’t in the mood to argue with people who were obviously so lovesick they didn’t have an ounce of reality left in them anywhere. “I’m going to the house and change.”

  Sebastian said, “Nice meeting you all and I appreciate you helping LuLu out. She’s a great gal.”

  The men all stood and shook Sebastian’s hand looking serious again. Ryan said, “We’ll take care of things here, you just take care of yourself.”

  Quaid nodded. “Remember to keep your ass down and your rifle up.”

  Keefe added, “Keep in touch when you can.” He grinned. “We’ll send cookies.”

  Sebastian gave an almost indiscernible nod and LuLu felt her stomach sink to her toes. Handsome wasn’t going off to Germany or Italy or some other nice safe army base and they all knew it. He didn’t look worried but worry sat in her stomach like the flu.

  She felt his hand at her back as she turned for the door. Outside they stood on the wood porch in front of the window with Budweiser blaring in red and blue neon. They stared into space, neither of them really seeing anything. Handsome said, “Nice people. You’re going to be okay with them around. I won’t be worrying about you as much now.”

  “As much? Hold on. It’s supposed to be ‘at all.’ That was the whole point of us not getting involved. We…we walk away, no strings and you do not need to be concerned about me one bit.”

  He gave her a half smile. “I’ll try and remember that.”

  “No trying, just do it.”

  “Hey, LuLu,” came a familiar voice that made her skin prickle and not in a good way. “I finally found you.”

  “Jerome?”

  “Yeah, girl, it’s me.” He jumped up on the porch beside her. “I remembered we stopped here on our drive out to California when we first went last year so I thought you might come back here. How’s my baby doing?”

  She put her hand over her stomach. “Your baby? When I told you I was pregnant you ran out of the apartment so fast you left skid marks and jumped on a plane with…”

  “Libby.”

  “Right, Libby. I think that pretty much makes this my baby.”

  “I knew you’d feel that way, was counting on it, actually. You’ll make a great mom. A kid couldn’t do better than you.”

  He glanced at Handsome. “Don’t y
ou agree?”

  LuLu folded her arms. “You didn’t come here to praise my parenting skills. What do you want, Jerome? I’m not going to be hitting you up for child support or any support for that matter so you and Libby can live happily ever after.”

  “I was thinking more like maybe I’d be a great dad and maybe I’d like to be a part of the baby’s life. Do that joint custody thing I hear about. You’re not married and I’m not married so neither of us can offer a better home life than the other, least that’s what the courts say. I checked. I think we should…share the baby.”

  LuLu let out a sigh. “Sharing like we shared the expenses in L.A. with me picking up the rent, food, car payments, and phone bills and you doing nothing?”

  “It worked pretty well.”

  She reached in her pocket and pulled out the money Rebecca had paid her that morning. “How much will it take for you to think that maybe you don’t want joint custody after all?”

  He reached for the cash. “That’s a good start.” In a flash he was pinned up against one of the uprights that supported the porch roof. Sebastian’s hand around his neck did the pinning and the ice cold look in Sebastian’s eyes dropped the temperature on the porch twenty degrees.

  “Or not,” squeaked Jerome, eyes bulging, feet six inches off the ground.

  “Is there a problem?” came Ryan’s voice behind her. She looked back to him and Quaid and Keefe, shoulder to shoulder by Sebastian.

  Handsome said, “This sleaze is shaking down LuLu for joint custody of our baby.”

  The six pair of eyes behind her took on that same look and the temperature dropped another twenty degrees. Did she hear growls?

  “No,” Jerome whispered through a shrinking trachea. “I reconsider. No custody.”

  Handsome let go and he collapsed into a heap on the floor, then scrambled off the steps and ran down the street. Ryan said, “Well dang, that was easy. Hoping for a little more action, to tell the truth. Welcome to the family.”

  As she turned around LuLu realized he’d included Handsome in that greeting as well as her.