Ambrosia

by Aaron Lee Yeager

  Storgen took an angry bite of fire-melon. “You know, you could have just said a hundred years and it still would have been just as devastating.”

  Placidus took out his handkerchief and wiped the perspiration from his brow. “I’ll have the chef get started on those right away.”

  The three girls looked at one another.

  “This posturing is getting us nowhere,” Agaprei said. “If we all want to speak with him in private, then the simplest solution is for us to take turns.”

  “I’m not used to having to share,” Erolina admitted. “But I can make an exception in this case.”

  Philiastra set down her goblet. “It’s fine to say that, but then, who goes first?”

  “Why not let me choose?” Storgen offered.

  “Because it’s obvious who’ll you choose.”

  “Well, yeah, it’s her birthday party.”

  “The simplest way to settle the order would be a duel,” Erolina suggested.

  “You’re not going to have a duel in the middle of dinner,” Storgen yelled.

  “Not to the death, just to first blood.”

  “Grrrrr.”

  “I was kidding. I mean, sorta.”

  “By the fates, girls are so competitive So much drama over a simple conversation.” Storgen grabbed a trio of breadsticks and broke off the ends in various lengths. “We’ll draw lots,” he explained, adjusting the breadsticks beneath the table. “Whoever draws the longest stick goes first, the second longest goes second, and so on.”

  He held up the sticks in both hands, his fingers concealing which was which.

  The three girls leaned in, looking intently at the breadsticks.

  “All set?”

  They all lifted their hands, their muscles tense and ready.

  “Go.”

  They all struck in, each grabbing a breadstick and yanking it free. They did so with such speed and force that they accidentally clipped him in the chin, flicking his head back and sending him toppling to the floor.

  * * *

  Agaprei stood amid the roaring and churning waterfalls. The gazebo built around the trunk of a tree sheltered her from the pouring rain, but it could not shelter her from the conflicted feelings in her heart.

  Being in this place gave her no joy. All it brought back were terrible memories, and that made her feel all the worse, since she knew Storgen had tried so hard to do something nice for her on her birthday. At first, she had faked a smile, but the truth was, the longer she was here the more anxious she felt. Her body shivered, not because it was cold, but because it could remember the pain, the humiliation, the grief, the fear. It was everywhere here, like an unseen force that pressed down on her chest.

  Nine years, it had been nine years since she had tried to visit this place as a girl, and it still hurt as if it had happened yesterday. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to fight off the anger, the terror, the pain. As she stood there in the rain, she wasn’t a champion, she wasn’t a brave and strong woman, she wasn’t an accomplished student of healing or a renowned fighter, she was a terrified little girl kidnapped by the scum of the earth, and when her tears hit the ground, they were lost in the forming puddles around her sandals.

  Something warm and soft was wrapped around her from behind.

  She gasped and flinched hard, reaching for her daggers, ready to fight, to hurt, to kill, but there was nothing to strike out against except Storgen and his warm Himatíon he had wrapped around her.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, his chin bruised from where he had been clonked earlier.

  She tried to calm herself, but her heart was beating like a frightened little rabbit. Everywhere in the shadows things seemed to stir. All around her shapes and forms drew near, the roar of the water concealing their footfalls. From the corners of her eyes, she swore she could see the faces of the men who had taken her.

  And then she saw Storgen’s eyes. They were not harsh, but soft. They were strong, but it was a different kind of strength, the way the sky is strong. She searched for the dishonesty she knew was there, but she couldn’t find it. She looked for the hunger, the animalistic hunger that would hurt her and devour her, but it wasn’t there.

  It was as if she were looking at a fountain of clear water, nothing hidden, nothing impure. It was exactly what it appeared to be, nothing more. Without dilution or exaggeration. She could feel her heart calming as she looked into his eyes, and that scared her even more.

  It’s happening again, she thought, wanting desperately to leave.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked.

  All over again.

  “You looked scared.”

  I’m making the same mistake Estia did. I’m letting my feelings get in the way of my duty.

  Storgen checked around to make sure nothing was amiss. “Is there something I can do to help you?”

  “No…I’m fine.”

  She adjusted her spectacles. No. Not again. I won’t fall into that trap again.

  “I want to apologize, Agaprei. What you said earlier, about feeling forced into being with me. To be honest, I never really thought about it like that. I just got so excited I said things without even thinking how they might affect you. I’m sorry I made you feel cornered. Your last life was ruined by an arranged marriage, so I totally understand why you’d be wary of another.”

  “Thank you,” she said honestly, closing her eyes. “It means a lot to me that you understand that.”

  I’m so close, so close to being forgiven, finally free, finally loved. I just need to buckle down and focus. Come on, girl, you can do this. You know how he thinks, just present it like you’re trying to do him a favor and he’ll agree to it.

  “Storgen, I want to thank you for everything you did today. It was very sweet, all of it.”

  She could tell how much that pleased him. Sometimes he was so much like a little puppy she could almost imagine his tail wagging.

  “If you recall, we made a deal this morning, do you remember what it was?”

  “Well, yeah, I haven’t had THAT many concussions. You have a request for me.”

  “And you have to agree to it, no matter what it is.”

  “Yup.”

  She tilted her head. “And that doesn’t bother you?”

  “Of course not, why would it?”

  “But what if I asked something you didn’t want to do?”

  “I trust you.”

  She could see that he did, and that made her feel even worse.

  “Storgen, you’ve been running from the Tower ever since you escaped, and if today proves anything, it’s that they’ll never stop hunting you.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, that’s a sobering thought.”

  “You’ll never have peace, no matter where you go. You’ll always be looking over your shoulder, you’ll always have to keep moving, never staying in one place for long, never letting your guard down…”

  “Okay, now this is getting distressing.”

  She looked up at him, pleading. “…and it will be the same for anyone who is with you.”

  His eyes went wide. “Oh, I see. That…I never really thought about it like that before…”

  Excellent, he’s reacting exactly as you knew he would.

  “I want to help you,” she said, stepping closer.

  “Help me?”

  “I want to help free you from the Tower, really free you, forever.”

  He took half a step back. “What are you asking?”

  He’s slipping, push harder.

  “Unless you turn and face them, you will never be free. You and I can never really be together. Come with me, we’ll take the fight to them. We’ll destroy your enemies within the tower.”

  “The Tower…I can’t go back there.”

  “You can’t go back there alone, but you won’t be alone this time. I’ll be with you, others will be with you. You’re the only person to have ever escaped the Tower. You know the layout of
that place probably better than the people who live there. No one has ever attacked the Tower before; they won’t be expecting it. Every advantage will be on our side. You won’t be returning, you’ll be setting yourself free. You’ll be giving yourself closure.”

  His eyes darted back and forth with emotions, his mind running overclocked.

  Just one more thing and he’ll agree.

  Agaprei reached out and took his hand. She could feel a slight tremble in it, and it made her feel like a louse.

  “And then we can be together.”

  She could see him latch onto that thought. She could see his back begin to straighten; she could feel the strength coming back into his limbs, she could see the resolve in his eyes pushing back the fear.

  “Do you think we can really do it?” he asked.

  “We’ll have the full backing of Fovos, we can’t lose.”

  What? No, don’t tell him that.

  “Fovos?”

  Recover, quick!

  “I ah…”

  She looked down where his hand was touching hers.

  “…Fovos commanded me to take you back to the Tower.”

  Why are you being so honest? This was not the plan.

  Storgen had trouble processing this new information. “Fovos, I mean, why would he want you to do that?”

  “Because they made something with your blood. Something horrible, something dangerous. That’s what caused the explosion the other day. And a lot of people are going to die if it falls into the wrong hands.”

  Good, make him feel responsible, guilt might work.

  “With the blood I sold…” he realized.

  “…But it’s not your fault,” she implored. “You couldn’t have known what they would do with it.”

  What are you doing?

  “You were just trying to help me, and so I want to do this. No, I need to do this, so that no one will get hurt.”

  Storgen looked down at their hands, and when he looked back up, for the first time since she had met him, his blue eyes contained something impure. Doubt.

  “Fovos commanded you to take me back to the Tower. Is that why you agreed to spent the day with me?”

  Shut up, you’re ruining everything.

  “No, I mean, yes, at first, but, then it changed.” She looked up in desperation. “By the end, I really did have fun with you.”

  “Did he tell you to do all of this as well? Did he tell you to tell me we’d be together if I do this?”

  “N…” Her eyes began to tear. “…Yes, he did. But this is my chance. This is my chance to be forgiven by the gods and earn their love. Don’t you see? Can’t you understand why this is so important to me?”

  Storgen released her hand and sat down on the bench, his mind heavy with thoughts. “I…I don’t know if I can take you there…I’m sorry. I’ll have to think about it.”

  Storgen stood up and walked out into the rain. He moved clumsily, like a man in a trance.

  Agaprei put her face in her hands.

  You blew it! You stupid, stupid girl, you had your chance, and you completely blew it!

  ~

  Philiastra drank her goblet of ale dry and let out a long tipsy sigh.

  “Ah, that’s good stuff.”

  “You’d better be careful, cabbage,” Erolina warned, batting at a silver strand of hair. “You’re going to spend your turn with Storgen slobbering drunk.”

  “Bah,” she said, knocking her goblet over. “I’ll have you know that Forest Nymphs have a very high tolerance for alcohol.”

  She reached for her napkin, but instead grabbed the tablecloth and tucked it into her tube top.

  “Oh yeah, you are a drinking machine.”

  “What about you? You’ve been pounding it away.”

  Erolina spun her goblet on the tip of her finger. “Sadly, we can’t normally get drunk. Our bodies process the poison too quickly. A drink has to be borderline lethal before we feel it. Just yet another joy we are denied in life.”

  She set the cup down. “It’s no wonder why we fight, it’s the only thing we are allowed to feel.”

  Philiastra grew her fingernails long and cubed her steak with two quick swipes.

  “Do you know why humans are unhappy?” she asked, skewering a morsel and taking a bite.

  “You want to talk philosophy now?”

  She swallowed hard. “It’s really not that complicated. Humans are unhappy because they are just intelligent enough to know that they are going to die, but not smart enough to change that fact.”

  Erolina rested her cheek on her palm. “Go on.”

  “Just look at the animals of the forest, look at the squirrels, the insects, the birds. They simply go about their lives living in the moment. Humans can’t live that way. They know they are going to die, so they live their lives in scuttling fear and dread, the knowledge of their demise spoiling every moment of joy. They can never be happy, because they are smart enough to know that one day, everything they love will be taken from them, but they are not smart enough to solve this problem. They cannot make buildings that will not crumble, they are not clever enough to invent systems that will never wear out. They cannot change their biology to overcome their mortality.”

  “And meanwhile, the rest of us live for centuries, blissfully confident that we have plenty of time to achieve everything we want.”

  “Exactly. And so not only are their lives short, their short lives are filled toiling away in gut-wrenching fear. Once you understand this, most of their unusual behavior falls into place and makes sense. They dull their senses with strong drink, with loud music, with loud laughter, anything to make them forget for even a fleeting moment, so they can enjoy the peace that other animals experience constantly every day.”

  Erolina looked at her fondly. “That’s a very insightful theory.”

  “I thought so.”

  “So let me ask you a question, oh, green philosopher.”

  She gulped down another bite of steak. “Ask away.”

  “Since you are not human, are you happy?”

  The question stopped her cold. She sat there with her bite half-chewed, frozen in place.

  “No, I’m not,” she admitted.

  Erolina sighed. “Neither am I.”

  They both looked at one another and let off a sympathetic chuckle.

  “I guess we’re pretty pathetic, huh?”

  “Guess so.”

  “We’ve got everything Storgen doesn’t have, yet he seems to be the happy one.”

  “Maybe that’s why we like him so much. We aren’t happy, so we want to be near someone who is.”

  Philiastra didn’t like this line of thought, so she decided to change the subject.

  “How long do amazons live, usually?”

  Erolina tapped her lips. “Well, let’s see. You know, I’m really not sure.”

  “How can you not know how long your race lives?”

  “Well, to be frank, an amazon usually falls in battle long before she’d be old enough for old age to take her. My mother is five-hundred and fifty, and she’s reigned longer than any other queen we’ve ever had. So, I dunno, maybe six or seven hundred or so if we ever stopped going to war?”

  “Like that’s ever going to happen.”

  They both let out a nice, pleasant giggle.

  Erolina swished her ale around and watched the foam form. “Sometimes, I think we go to war too much.”

  That comment surprised her. “You know, I’ve never talked to you like this before.”

  “Before you were my rival, now that Agaprei has appeared, you are my rival but also a potential ally.”

  “I like it. You seem different, like a real person.”

  “Um…thanks?”

  Philiastra untucked the tablecloth and got serious. “Scythe, there’s something I need to say.”

  “No, amazons don’t swing both ways, that’s a myth.”

  “That’s not what I was going to say!”

  Erolina laughed
out loud. Philiastra picked up a soup spoon and threw it at her, but Erolina caught it effortlessly in mid-air.

  “Nice catch.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No, what I wanted to say was…I’m sorry.”

  Erolina sat up, shocked.

  Philiastra fidgeted with her utensils. “There was an amazon who betrayed my people, who stole the heart of the forest, and made us weak, allowing the centaurs to conquer us. But, now that I’ve seen that humans are the real enemy, I realize that it wasn’t fair for me to hold it against you just because you’re an amazon, too. We beastmen have to stick together, right? So…”

  Philiastra held out her hand. “I’m sorry. Friends?”

  Erolina’s red eyes began to quiver, then she looked away. “You should not apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

  The door to the veranda swung open and Agaprei walked in. Barely holding back tears, she grabbed her cloak from the coat rack, and headed out the front.

  “Looks like it’s your turn.”

  ~

  Storgen sat on the carved bench, partially sheltered from the rain by the awning above. In his mind, Skotádi and Master Kynigó were standing over him, that horrible look of fascination and glee in their eyes. They leaned closer, tightening his restraints, then pulled out a long thin needle, bright venom dripping from the lanced tip. He fought with all his strength, but he was held fast. As he screamed, they forced his eyelid open, and plunged the needle into his eye.

  Storgen jerked, his body shivering as he looked around, trying to remember where he was.

  “I can’t do it.”

  There was a whoosh of air and a deep wooden thud as an arrow implanted itself into the building wall right next to his head. Reflexively, he backed away, nearly falling off of the bench.

  Philiastra stepped out of the shadows, holding her bow. “I missed on purpose.”

  She grew an arrow from her quiver and fired it off, landing it right next to the first.

  He wiped the sweat from his face. “How did you do that? I didn’t even sense you coming.”

  “I can hide my presence.”

  Her eyes flashed with blue fire, and suddenly, he could no longer feel her. He could still make out her outline, but it was like looking at a drawing, without a living presence.

  “Or I can magnify it.”