BEYOND ALL REASON

by Judith Duncan

  Somehow or another, Scotty managed to worm his way onto Burt's lap as soon as everyone finished eating. When Kate returned to the table after clearing away some of the dishes and caught him there, she gave her son a stern stare and lifted her finger at him. He gave a sigh of resignation, but before he had a chance to move, Burt clumsily anchored his arm around him and gave her a bad-tempered look. "Just mind your own business," he growled. "The boy ain't doing no harm."

  Kate nearly laughed. Instead she gave him a long, quelling look and raised her finger at him. Burt raised his in return.

  Restraining her amusement, she looked up, her gaze connecting with Tanner's. He was sitting with his elbows on the table, his hands clasped in front of him, absently rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb. His serious expression gave nothing away, but there was something in his eyes that made her pulse jump into overdrive. The hint of amusement instantly faded, replaced by a glint that was more heated, far more potent, far more intent. Far more male. And Kate remembered that instant when he'd entered her, when she'd experienced the full thrust of him, and she tightened her grip on the two serving bowls she held, her breath jamming up in her chest.

  Tanner's hand stilled, and his eyes narrowed, and Kate could feel the heat of his gaze from across the table. Lord, but she wished they were somewhere dark and private, somewhere where…

  "Well now, Miz Quinn, that was a right fine meal, and I thank you mightily. I do appreciate the company and the conversation. The boys in the bunkhouse ain't exactly scintilla-tin' at the supper table – lean more to simple digestion than discussion."

  Tanner looked away, the muscles in his jaw clenching, annoyance flaring in his eyes. He shot Cyrus a disgusted look, then shoved his chair away from the table and stood up, his mouth compressing into a hard line as he went into the living room.

  Upset by Tanner's reaction, Kate watched him, experiencing a rush of guilt. God, why hadn't she just kept supper simple? Realizing that Cyrus was watching her with sharp interest, she dredged up a smile, trying to act as if nothing was wrong. "It was nice having you, Cyrus."

  "My pleasure, ma'am. My pleasure." Noticing that Burt was beginning to sag, Cyrus pushed his chair back. "Come on, old man. I think you need to flatten out them old bones for a spell." He glanced at Mark. "How about you trot on ahead and straighten that sheepskin, son?"

  Knowing the bed needed straightening, and feeling at a loss anyway, Kate set the serving dishes on the counter and continued on into Burt's room. By the time Cyrus got there with Burt and the boys, she had the bottom sheet stretched tight, his pillows fluffed and the bedding folded down. Leaving Cyrus to it, she picked up the insulated water container and returned to the kitchen.

  Through the archway to the living room, she could see Tanner standing by his desk, a sheaf of papers in his hand. His expression fixed and unreadable, he flipped through the sheets, then paused, a frown appearing. Kate stared at him for a moment, then turned back to the sink and began rinsing off plates. Damn it, she should have used her head. She should never have asked Cyrus to stay to supper, and she should have fed Burt in bed the way she always did. She should have accommodated Tanner's need for privacy, but instead, she'd caved in to a big dose of cowboy charm and a bouquet of tulips. She should have—

  A muscled arm reached in front of her; her heart lurched and she went still, giving her pulse a second to settle. His shoulder brushing against her, Tanner placed his empty coffee mug in the sink, then slowly wiped the droplets of water off her nails. "You have nice hands," he said gruffly.

  Experiencing a heady rush from his caressing touch, Kate closed her eyes, her pulse going wild. Unable to answer him for the crazy flutter in her stomach, she turned her hand, sliding her wet palm against his. She heard him inhale deeply, then he lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips, and Kate turned her face into his shoulder, her strength sapped by the sensations that surged through her. Shaken by the intensity of her reaction, she laced her fingers through his, needing time to get herself together. He had overwhelmed her; with one single kiss, he had simply overwhelmed her.

  Tanner slipped his other hand under her hair and began massaging the back of her neck, his touch meant to comfort. "Burt's calling me, Kate," he said softly, his voice thick. "And I don't want him sending one of the boys out here to get me."

  Kate nodded, feeling as if she'd disintegrated into a million pieces. He gave the back of her neck a reassuring squeeze, then turned and left, and she leaned on the counter and closed her eyes, waiting for her insides to settle.

  By the time she got the kitchen cleaned up and Burt's laundry done, she'd more or less pulled herself together, but she felt strangely rootless. When she put the boys to bed at nine, tiredness began to seep in. After turning off all the lights in the living room except Tanner's desk lamp, she curled up on the leather sofa and watched a special on Alaska, the sound on the TV turned down.

  The next thing she was aware of were voices in the kitchen, and she came sharply awake, immediately checking the digital clock on the TV. It was after ten o'clock. And Cyrus was leaving.

  Scrambling from under the Navaho blanket covering her, she sat up, trying to rid herself of the last vestiges of sleep. Pulling down her T-shirt, she started toward the kitchen to say goodbye, but she heard the outside door close before she got there. Tanner was just entering the kitchen when she walked in, and he paused to turn out the light in the utility room. He looked at her, a tiny flicker of amusement lurking around his mouth. "I thought you were out for the count."

  She remembered the blanket and realized he had covered her. That realization did funny things to her heart. Clasping her hands together, she managed a small smile, experiencing a twist of sudden nervousness. "Is Burt settled for the night?"

  Tanner nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly. He braced one hand on the wall and the other on his hip, his gaze intent as he studied her. His eyes were dark and steady, and the flutter of nerves climbed to her throat. It had been so much easier last night, when things had just happened. She didn't know how to proceed from here, how to handle the awkward silence and her own uncertainty – or his stillness. She twisted her fingers together, trying to think of something to say. Finally he straightened and came toward her, his expression intent and unsmiling.

  The instant he moved, Kate's senses went crazy, and she closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath, trying to curb the feelings inside her. Opening her eyes, she looked at him, almost afraid to move for fear of doing something to break the spell. His expression compressed into hard lines, he stared at her, his eyes giving nothing away. Then he held out his hand, and Kate let out a tremulous sigh and took it, her grip urgent and tense, almost desperate. He held her gaze for an instant, his hair shining blue-black in the overhead light, his high cheekbones accentuating the lines of strain around his mouth. He looked dark and foreboding and unapproachable, but the look in his eyes made her heart pound and her knees go weak, and she swallowed hard. There was a flare of emotion in his eyes, and he tightened his grip on her hand and slowly, so slowly, stroked the palm with his thumb. It was too much. That one slow, sensual touch put her in such sensory overload that the brightness from the light made her skin feel too tight. Lacing his fingers through hers, Tanner shut off the light and drew her toward the stairs.

  Kate was trembling so hard that she wasn't sure how she made he legs function. The only thing that kept her together was the tight grip Tanner had on her hand. Once inside his room, he shut the door behind him. She heard the lock turn, then he pulled he into his arms. Locking he arms around his torso, she closed he eyes and sagged against him, the feel of him setting off a new fever of sensation. Tucking her face against the curve of his neck, he drew her firmly against him and smoothed back her hair, his touch not quite steady when he kissed the curve of her neck. "You're shaking like a leaf," he whispered roughly.

  Tightening her arms around him, Kate pressed he face deeper against his neck, feeling as if she were on the verge of shattering. Her voice cat
ching on raw emotion, she struggled to get out the words. "Don't leave me tonight, Tanner. Not like last night. I couldn't stand it if you did that again."

  He went still, then released an unsteady sigh and slid his hand under her hair and up the back of her neck, spanning the base of her head. "I don't think I could stand it, either," he answered, his voice thick with strain. His chest expanding, he turned her head and covered her mouth with hot, wet kisses. She made a low sound and opened to him, the thrust of his tongue sending a hot, weakening need through her.

  Moaning against his mouth, desperate for the feel of him, she pulled his shirt free, then tore open the snaps, a paralysis of wanting compressing her lungs as she ran her hands over his smooth, muscled chest. Desperate to breech his reserve, she drew her thumbnails across his hard, male nipples, and he shuddered and crushed her against him, trapping her hands.

  Kate was lost. Lost to the hunger. Lost to the sensations pumping through her. Lost to the urgency of his questing hands. And it wasn't until they were naked on the bed, their bodies straining together, his mouth hot and demanding on hers, that a sliver of reality surfaced. Tearing her mouth away from his, she clung to him, frantic for his assurance. "Please don't leave. Promise you won't."

  His breathing harsh and labored, his body rigid with tension, he twisted her head back and trailed hot, openmouthed kisses down the arch of her neck. "I won't." He groaned and rocked his hips against her. "Ah – Katie. I couldn't."

  He reared away from her, and Kate choked out his name, terrified that he was going to stop. Kneeling between her thighs, he reached for something on the bedside table, and when she heard the rustle of foil, awareness filtered in. Crying and about to shatter into a million pieces, she touched his engorged flesh, fumbling with haste as she helped to sheathe him. A violent tremor shuddered through him at her touch, and the instant the protection was in place, he came down on top of her and gathered her up in a crushing embrace, a low groan breaking from him as she guided him into her. She could feel how hard he was, how hard he was struggling to hold back, but she didn't want his restraint. She needed him hard and deep and out of control. Feeling her whole body collect and tighten, she arched her head back and rose up against him, choking out his name. He shuddered again, then clutched her against him and drove into her again and again and again, finally sending her over the edge of a high, splintering precipice. He thrust into her once more, grinding against her, then stiffened, an agonized groan wrenched from him as he climaxed deep inside her.

  * * *

  A nighttime stillness had settled outside, and a breeze rustled through the leaves on the old poplar tree just beyond Tanner's window, filling the room with a soft, whispering sound. Unwilling to let him leave her, Kate draped her legs over the backs of his and smoothed her hands up, slowly mapping the contours of his back. Too spent to move, not wanting to speak, she savored the heady sensation of contentment, loving the feel of his smooth skin beneath her touch. She found a ridge of scar tissue on his shoulder and lightly traced it. Dredging up energy from somewhere, she spoke, her voice husky. "What's this?"

  Stirring heavily, Tanner reached back and caught her wrist, pulling her arm down. He placed a kiss on her palm. "Nothing."

  His mouth was moist and warm and slightly swollen, and she drew her thumb across his bottom lip, thinking about the care he'd taken with her. "Tanner?"

  "Hmm?"

  She raised her head and kissed his jaw. "I thought you said you didn't have anything here," she whispered.

  He didn't answer right away. Finally he shifted; as if it took every ounce of strength he had, he dragged his arms free. Bracing his weight on his forearms, he cupped her face, adjusting the angle of her head as he kissed her. Releasing a long sigh, he dried her bottom lip with his thumb. There was a hint of humor in his voice when he finally answered. "I made a point of going to Pincher Creek today."

  She knew the road was impassible. Closing her eyes as he placed a string of kisses down her neck, she tightened her legs on top of his. "How?"

  She felt him smile, then he lifted his head and looked down at her, the faint glow from the yard light catching in his eyes.

  "I rode over to the cattle camp. We left one of the trucks there."

  Slipping her arms under his, she smiled, using both hands to massage the small of his back. "That was very resourceful of you, McCall."

  He brushed back the hair at her temple, then lowered his head and kissed her. "I thought so."

  Neither of them spoke for several moments, content with gentle stroking and even gender kisses. Finally Tanner released a reluctant sigh, casing his upper body away from her. Kate smoothed her hands up the contours of his biceps, her voice husky as she whispered, "Don't go."

  Bracketing her face with his hands, he leaned down and kissed the bridge of her nose. "I have to." Covering her mouth in a drugging kiss, he withdrew from her, taking her with him as he rolled onto his back. Making room for her knee between his, he nestled her head on his shoulder, his touch caressing as he stroked the outline of her ear. After a comfortable silence, he tucked in his chin and brushed a kiss against he forehead. "Kate?"

  Drowsy with contentment, she sleepily watched the shadows of the leaves on the wall, comfortable in the cradle of his arm. "What?"

  He hesitated, then spoke, his voice quiet. "I stopped by the RCMP detachment when I was in Pincher Creek today. One of the officers hunts out here every fall, so I had him do some checking around. No one has been there looking for you, and there's no record of a Roger Quinn having checked into any of the motels or hotels."

  Kate lay absolutely still for a split second, then she rose up on one arm, bracing her hand on his chest as she looked down at him. "You didn't have to do that, Tanner," she scolded softly.

  Avoiding her gaze, he carefully tucked her hair behind he ear. He finally spoke, his tone gruff. "I'm not going to let him terrorize you, Kate."

  Cupping his jaw, she stroked the curve of his cheekbone with her thumb. She didn't know what to say. With the exception of her grandfather giving her money, it had been a long, long time since anyone had done anything for her. A very long time.

  He clearly didn't want her to say anything. His fingers snagging in her hair, Tanner pulled her head down, distracting her with a long, sensual kiss. "I don't want to talk about it now," he whispered against her mouth. "Not tonight. I just didn't want you to worry."

  Catching her by the hips, he drew her fully on top of him, then settled her between his thighs, running his hands along her rib cage until he reached her breasts. His touch sent spirals of sensation through her, and Kate closed her eyes, yielding to his mouth. No, not tonight. Especially not tonight.

  * * *

  Kate didn't make it up before the boys the following morning, either. But she had awakened before dawn and slipped silently from Tanner's bed, then returned to her own. It had been so hard to leave him. Especially after it had been such a night of discovery for her. She'd discovered an astounding physical intimacy with him that had empowered her, and he had uncovered a sensuality in her that she hadn't even known she possessed. And he had made her feel things she hadn't thought possible.

  But after she had gone back to her own bed, she had lain there, unable to sleep for the fluttering of anxiety churning around in her abdomen. This was a fantasy come true, but at some point she was going to be forced to deal with her life. She couldn't keep Mark and Scotty out of school forever. But this time with Tanner was a gift, and she wanted to hold on to that gift for as long as she could. She was realistic enough to know that there were countless hazards along the way, and any one of them could destroy something so fragile and new. That realization filled her with such cold, hard dread that it sat like a rock in the pit of her stomach.

  And there was Tanner himself. He carried deep, damaging scars from the past, and he would never let anyone get close enough to inflict that kind of damage again. The only thing that was for certain was the here and now. She had made up her mind that s
he was going to celebrate the gift she had been given for as long as it was hers to hold. She would make the most of what she had today and worry about tomorrow.

  She could hear the boys at the table as she came down the stairs, and she turned toward the kitchen, hoping that Tanner would still be there. He just was coming out of Burt's room when she entered. When he looked up and saw her, his eyes lightened. "Good morning."

  The husky intimacy in his tone set off a wild flutter inside her, and she laced her fingers together, wishing the boys weren't there. "Good morning."

  Mark looked up. "Hi, Mom. How come you put your T-shirt on inside out?"

  Kate looked down, feeling like a fool. Damn it, how had she managed that? Restraining a sigh, she gave him a level look. "It's made that way."

  He grinned and made a face. "Yeah, right."

  Scotty, thinking no one was watching, covertly lifted his bowl. Kate knew exactly what he was up to. "Don't even think it, Scott Allan. If you're going to drink out of your dish, you can go live with Bess in the barn."

  Mark grinned at his brother. "Wow. Then you wouldn't have to make your bed, Scotty, and you'd never have to clean up."

  Scott tried to kick him under the table, and Kate interceded. "That's enough, Mark. And, Scott, you keep your feet to yourself."

  Conscious of Tanner leaning against the counter watching her, even more conscious of all the places where he had touched her last night, she crossed the room, aware of the rapid pulse in her neck. She didn't know why, but she felt all shaky inside. Just before she reached him, Tanner lifted a mug off the rack and poured her a cup of coffee.

  He handed it to her, retaining a hold on it when she tried to take it from him. She looked up at him, the intimate gleam in his eyes making her heart speed up. "I think," he said, just loud enough for her to hear, "that Bess already has her hands full."