Shame (Shameless)

by Nana Malone

  "How dare you go through my things!" she squeaked.

  Noah shrugged. "I didn't go through your things. The drawer was open. The thing was practically sticking out of it. Making its escape."

  Next to her, Brent shifted his gaze to her.

  "That's not mine," she whispered. "I m-mean it is but I've never used it. It’s a gag gift from a bachelorette party." She swung her gaze to Noah. "Put that down."

  "Not a chance. I mean, this thing is fascinating. I'm no stranger to toys myself. As far as I'm concerned, they can always enhance the situation. I'm not one of those guys that feel jealous or threatened. Matter of fact, I'm all for a little solo play. But this thing…" He held it up and shook it around. "Even I've never seen anything like it. And I've had a lot of practice."

  He turned his attention to Brent. "No disrespect to you, but I don't think you can live up to this. It vibrates and rotates! Even I feel a little frightened by this thing."

  Screw the ground opening up and swallowing her whole. Just shoot her now. That would end this quickly. Shoot her. Send her little behind to heaven. Because she was done. Noah was bending the dildo around as it wiggled in his hands. He pushed the button, and the damn thing rotated on its own, making a whirring sound. Oh God. Could this get any worse?

  Brent fixed his gaze on her. "I'm going to go."

  “No, please don’t go.”

  She lunged and grabbed at the dildo, tugging when Noah refused to release it. The silicone material bent in ways Lucia was sure it wasn’t designed to as they fought over it. This was easily one of the most undignified moments of her life, but she just couldn’t take it anymore. Noah’s smug face as he watched her struggling to get a better grip on the wiggling, gyrating piece of plastic only made it worse.

  “Ugh, let go!”

  In a fit of sudden anger, Lucia kicked him in the shin. And in his surprise, Noah let go of his end of the toy. The next few seconds would forever play in her mind in slow motion as she watched the toy fly end over end and hit Brent directly in the face.

  “Ouch!”

  Lucia covered her mouth in horror as the toy fell to his feet. The silence that followed was only broken by the sounds of the still-running toy, wiggling over the carpet.

  Noah guffawed. “My bad. Did I get it in your mouth? Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean anything. What’s a little dick in the mouth between friends, am I right?”

  “I have to go.”

  “No, wait!”

  But Brent didn’t wait. All she could hear were his footsteps as they echoed on the hardwood floors, down the hall, into her living room, then kitchen, and then the front door opening and slamming shut behind him.

  With a deep breath, Lucia whirled on Noah.

  "I swear to God I will make you pay if it’s the last thing I do. You are going to pay so hard. What the hell is wrong with you? You are completely shameless!"

  He grinned as he stood and then knelt to grab the toy, pushing the button on the dildo again. "I'm looking forward to it. This is the best laugh I've had in months."

  He moved towards her, his gait smooth and predatory. He paused about a foot away, and she could smell the scent of sandalwood. She fought the urge to inhale deeply.

  When he leaned close, Lucia held her breath.

  "Next time, I check out the guy. And pick somebody tougher. If he’d stood up to me, I would have respected him more."

  Lucia couldn't help it. Frustration was taking over as the blood boiled under her skin. And the urge to hit him overwhelmed her.

  “I hate you.”

  He took a step, bringing them so close they were almost touching. When he leaned over her again, she nervously licked her lips as her belly flipped.

  His voice was low and sultry as he whispered. “No. You don’t.”

  shameless ch 3

  It shouldn’t have hurt so much to hear her say those words. I hate you. Especially when he knew it was just a reaction to finding him in her room. But even knowing that, it cut through him with all the precision of a knife and he was left with the curious sensation of a widening in his chest.

  “You could never hate me, Princess.”

  Lucia’s eyes flashed and he would have laughed if he wasn’t afraid she might actually try to attack. There wasn’t much she could do to him, but more than likely she’d harm herself in the attempt and he couldn’t allow that. Despite what she thought, everything he ever did was to protect her. Especially keeping her away from guys like the one he’d found her sucking face with just now.

  Disgust had him glancing down at the monstrously large dildo in his hand.

  “Did you really think that guy was going to get the job done if you’re used to this?”

  Lucia screeched and whacked him right in the middle of the chest. “I told you it’s not even mine! Not really. It was a gift.”

  “What the hell kind of friend gives you a dinosaur dildo as a gift?”

  “None of your business.”

  She tried to grab it, stretching on her toes as he raised his arm overhead. The position put her off balance and he instinctively held out an arm to steady her when her legs gave out. Her breasts crushed against his chest, and the soft curves he’d tried so hard to ignore were suddenly front and center in his brain, along with the enticing summer scent of her hair. She placed a hand on his waist as she straightened, and Noah knew a solid sixty seconds of true fear as all his blood shot below his belt.

  He could not throw wood around Lucia.

  Stand down. Stand down.

  He chanted the order, praying the relevant pieces of anatomy would get the message in time.

  Lucia took advantage of his distraction and jumped, managing to snatch the dildo from his hand while simultaneously fulfilling every late-night fantasy he’d ever had about her.

  “And for god’s sake put it down!” She threw the still-rotating dildo on the bed before turning back to him, murder in her eyes.

  “Okay, okay. I was just playing around.”

  Lucia pointed to the door. “Outside. Now.”

  He backed up, allowing her to push him out of the room and into the hallway. The evidence of what he’d only been able to hear earlier was all around them. The sky-high stilettos she always wore kicked off by the front door. Her jacket was discarded in the middle of the floor, torn off in a fit of passion, perhaps? Noah ground his jaw at the reminder of that guy’s hands all over her. He wasn’t anywhere near good enough for her.

  And you are?

  He shook off the thought. No one was good enough for Lucia, especially not him, but it was the least he could do to help her weed out the obvious losers. It was what Rafe would have done.

  Hell, Rafe probably would have thrown that guy over the balcony for pawing his sister that way. Seriously, it was their first date and that asshole had actually thought a rushed screw was appropriate? Lucia was the kind of woman who deserved flowers and chocolates and candlelight. Not some frantic fuck against the wall. Though shit, just the idea was fucking hot: Lucia, sweaty and panting, him behind her lifting her skirt—oh and what do you know, his erection was back in full force.

  Noah was so caught up in his thoughts, he barely noticed where she was pushing him until she had the front door open and he was in the hallway.

  “Give me back my key.” She held out her hand, her lips pursed into the most adorable pout.

  He knew she was really pissed but couldn’t resist tormenting her a little bit.

  “Do you really think I need a key to get in here?”

  Her deep breath told him how close he was to getting smacked again. But then suddenly her face changed and she shook her head sadly.

  “You just don’t get it, Noah. This is my life and no one is going to stop me from living it. Not even you. I have to grow up sometime.”

  “I’m not trying to stop you from living. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

  “Safe, I understand. But this…this is too much. You’re out of control. I have the right to my privacy
and having you show up in the middle of my bedroom is kind of a buzzkill to my sex life, you know? So maybe next time we’ll go to his place.”

  The fuck there would be a next time. He’d kill the asshole first. There you go with your killer instinct again. “Lucia…Don’t do anything crazy.” The thought of her at some guy’s place, possibly somewhere he couldn’t get to her if things went wrong, made him feel like he was having a heart attack. He put a hand over his heart to make sure it wasn’t actually going to jump out of his chest the way it felt.

  “Crazy like showing up in someone else’s bedroom holding a dildo? I don’t think you should be giving me advice in this particular situation. Although, I suppose I should thank you for finding that for me. Since Brent and I were interrupted, I guess I’ll need it tonight.”

  Before he could process her words, the door was coming at him. He took a step back mere seconds before it would have hit him in the face.

  He stood there for a few more minutes, listening to the sounds of her moving around the apartment before he finally left. She was upset right now, but she’d come around. She always did. Although he couldn’t deny that something about tonight felt different. Not only that she’d actually stood up to him and thrown him out, but what she’d said about using that sex toy later. She had to have been joking about that, right? There was no way Lucia was that kinky. And, oh so helpfully, his brain offered an image of her, on her bed, legs splayed, head thrown back in ecstasy as that dildo worked its magic. His dick throbbed.

  Fuck. I wish his cock seemed to say.

  As he was descending the stairs, he hit the first speed dial on his cell phone. Matthias answered immediately.

  “Hey, did you kill the surveillance on Lucia’s place yet?”

  There was a moment of silence before Matthias responded. “You mean did we just see you get your ass handed to you? Nope, no idea what you’re talking about.”

  Noah cursed. He could hear the muffled laughter coming through the line which told him Matthias wasn’t alone in the office. Great. This was what he got for hiring a bunch of anti-social loners just like himself. They didn’t have anywhere else to be on a Friday night either.

  There was no way Jonas was ever going to let him live this one down.

  “Whatever. I’ll be in the office in a few.”

  He hung up and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Once he reached the parking garage, he looked up to Lucia’s window. He watched as her shadow moved around the apartment before the light in the front went dark. Over the years, he’d been so many things to her as she grew up. Surrogate big brother. Protector. A shoulder to cry on.

  But he’d never felt like he was on the outside looking in to her life.

  He’d spent years knowing this time was coming. That there would be a day when she’d meet someone, a man without screwed-up ethics and a boatload of secrets. Someone who could love her the way she deserved and give her the things she needed. All the things he couldn’t do. Noah had thought he was ready for when that day approached, but he’d had no idea how fast the years would go by.

  I have to grow up sometime, she’d said, with no idea what those words meant to him.

  Yeah, he thought, but not yet. He couldn’t bear to lose her yet.

  Lucia stood in the middle of her living room for a moment, trying to process what had just happened. She rubbed her temples. Maybe if she pretended it hadn’t happened this would all go away. But the evidence was all around her: her jacket on the floor and her lucky shoes by the door, the ones she only wore when she had a date.

  Her lucky stilettos hadn’t been so lucky tonight.

  She groaned before stooping to pick up the shoes. Things had definitely not gone the way she’d expected. Poor Brent. All he’d done was have the misfortune of asking her out. How was he to know she had a crazy, over-protective pseudo-stalker who’d show up and cock-block him before he even got to second base?

  She winced, imagining what he must think of her now. She hadn’t even wanted to go on the date at first so she couldn’t consider it too much of a loss, but damn, it was still embarrassing. Well, at least she didn’t have to figure out a way to let him down easy.

  Noah had taken care of that for her, she thought bitterly.

  She cleaned up the living room and cut out all the lights before heading back to her room. Her face flamed at the sight of the large purple dildo on the bed. It was still running, the lights on the base blinking furiously as it moved around on the comforter. Lucia picked it up, and after mashing a few random buttons, she finally managed to turn it off.

  Just looking at it made her angry all over again.

  The anger had nowhere to go and because it made her want to scream, she picked up her phone and hit the second speed dial. The fact that Noah had programmed himself in on the first speed dial annoyed her all over again.

  JJ answered on the first ring. “Why are you calling me? You’re supposed to be on a date.”

  Lucia sighed. “I was on a date. He’s gone now.”

  “Already? Please tell me you got laid at least?”

  “I was close. Then Noah showed up.”

  JJ was silent for a moment. Then she exploded in laughter. “You have got to be fucking kidding me? Noah showed up in the middle of your date? Wait, go back and tell me everything.”

  Lucia settled herself on top of her comforter as she relayed the story. By the time she got to Noah showing up in her room and the dildo hitting Brent, JJ was laughing so hard she sounded like she was wheezing. As much as Lucia wanted to stay mad, she couldn’t after retelling the story. It truly was the most ridiculous thing ever.

  “So, he got nailed in the face, no pun intended.” There was a pause as JJ tried to rein in her laughter. “Then he just ran out?”

  Lucia felt a sudden burst of shame on Brent’s behalf. He really had just ditched her without looking back. Although considering how menacing Noah could appear at times, she couldn’t really blame him. That was a battle he couldn’t possibly win.

  “What else could he do? Noah was in my room, on my bed, like a jealous ex-boyfriend. You know how he gets.”

  “Yes, I do. And so do you. Which makes me wonder why you don’t just bone the guy already and put us all out of our virtual blue balls.”

  Her friend’s words brought a rush of conflicting emotions. The usual denial mixed with an uncharacteristic blast of heat at the thought of getting naked with Noah. She wasn’t sure when her thoughts about him began to change. One day he’d been good old Noah, the surrogate big brother who annoyed her one minute and delighted her the next.

  Then one day she’d looked at him and everything was different. He was suddenly the smartest, most handsome, most masculine presence she’d ever been exposed to, and everything inside of her had taken notice all at once. It had made her feel both awakened and exposed to discover that she could feel these things for someone who had been a part of her life for so long.

  “It’s not like that between us. You know that.”

  JJ made a rude sound. “So you keep saying, but I have eyes. And that man is insanely sexy. There is no way you can be exposed to that kind of grade-A testosterone all the time and not feel anything. I don’t believe it.”

  “Well, believe it. He’s like another brother.”

  “I guess.”

  JJ didn’t sound convinced, which only increased Lucia’s agitation. Noah had never looked at her as anything other than the annoying young girl that he had to look out for. She was an obligation, a tie to a former life that he’d probably rather forget. As soon as she had the thought, she was ashamed. Noah had idolized her brother Rafe, and she didn’t really think he wanted to forget about him. It would just be nice not to feel like an old debt that he was paying off.

  “He only does this because he feels like it’s what Rafe would do if he were here. But this time he’s gone too far. He can’t just break into my apartment whenever he wants.”

  “Well, it sounds like it’s time for a little payb
ack.”

  JJ was known for her creative and diabolical thinking so if she had a plan, Lucia was all in. It would be nice to feel like she had the upper hand with Noah for once. Maybe even give him a little taste of what it was like to have someone butting into your life at the most inopportune moment.

  “What do you mean by payback?”

  JJ chuckled in a way that told Lucia she already had an idea. “I have just the thing.”

  Immediately, Lucia had second thoughts. Did she really want to start a war with Noah? Not that she ever thought for even a moment that he would hurt her, but JJ had a tendency to be a little…inappropriate. Following her advice for payback would be like adding gasoline to a fire that was already dangerously close to raging out of control.

  Then she got a mental image of Noah holding that stupid dildo and waving it around. She wrinkled her nose. No, he’d brought this all on himself.

  “What do you have in mind?”

  JJ chuckled. “Do you have anything against public nudity?”

  *** THANK YOU for reading the prequel to the exciting new romantic misadventure trilogy, Shameless. Read Shameless now

  about the authors

  New York Times & USA TODAY Bestselling author M. MALONE lives in the Washington, D.C. metro area with her three favorite guys: her husband and their two sons. She holds a Master's degree in Business from a prestigious college that would no doubt be scandalized at how she's using her expensive education.

  Independently published, she has sold more than 1/2 million ebooks in her two series THE ALEXANDERS and BLUE-COLLAR BILLIONAIRES. Since starting her indie journey in 2011 with the runaway bestselling novella "Teasing Trent", her work has appeared on the New York Times and USA Today bestseller lists more than a dozen times.

  She's now a full-time writer and spends 99.8% of her time in her pajamas.

  minxmalone.com/malonesquared