Destiny's Path

by Anna Jacobs

  ‘Do you have much choice? She sounds very worried about how she’s going to manage.’

  So when they rejoined the others, Conn asked Livia if he could speak to her and they walked over to a rough bench Reece had built to take advantage of the splendid view.

  ‘I’ve a suggestion to put to you,’ he said and explained about Kathleen.

  ‘You mean – you’d pay me to have her staying here?’

  ‘Yes. And Orla with her. I think you’d welcome a maid’s help.’

  ‘I’d be interested if I had room, but the house isn’t big enough. There’s only one bedroom, and let alone I don’t want to share that, it’d not fit three of us. Francis bought this place for the view and the cleared meadows where he could graze horses, not because of the house. He wasn’t very practical.’

  ‘Hmm.’ He looked at the tiny wooden house Reece and Cassandra lived in and noted how they’d added a new bedroom. ‘Perhaps Ronan could help me build on another room for Kathleen and a lean-to of some sort for Orla. He’s good with wood. And I’m sure my mother would let me bring some furniture across for Kathleen. How would you feel about it then? Please be honest with me. I don’t want to force anything on you.’

  Livia gave a shaky laugh. ‘I don’t need to think about it. I’d willingly have her. I don’t want to move out but I’m desperately short of money. Francis wasn’t very wise with it, you see.’

  ‘Kathleen’s not easy to deal with, but she loves horses and if you let her ride yours, she’ll treat them well, I promise you.’

  ‘Francis wasn’t easy to deal with, nor was my father. I’m good at living with difficult people.’

  He closed his eyes in relief. ‘I’ll tell her then.’

  She pulled him back. ‘No. Let me invite her to stay with me, as one lady to another. From what you tell me, that’d be more acceptable to her than being told what to do by you. And while I’m talking to her, you could ask Reece’s help in building an extra room.’

  Conn escorted her back to join the others in relief, unable to believe that this matter could be solved so simply. After a short time Livia asked Kathleen to come and check that the horses were all right.

  Kathleen came back from their stroll and smirked at Conn. ‘I’ve found somewhere to live myself, somewhere away from the sight of you and that Maia whore.’

  She ignored Cassandra’s gasp of outrage and went on, ‘I can’t wait to move out and live with someone of my own kind, a lady. Livia is going to let me ride Francis’s horse. Poor thing, it needs exercise. And she likes riding too. She’s going to read to me, as well. Papa Largan used to do that. I like hearing stories.’

  Livia muttered to Conn, ‘I said I’d let her ride it if Leo thought her a good enough rider. Does she always see things as she wants them to be?’

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid so. But if she gives you too much trouble, you must tell me straight away and I’ll find somewhere else for her to live.’

  Livia shook her head. ‘I’ll manage. I must. It’s the best solution to my problems, just for the present.’ She flushed. ‘How much are you willing to pay?’

  He named a sum which made her sigh with relief.

  ‘I want you to start building my new room tomorrow,’ Kathleen said as they were getting ready to leave.

  ‘We need to buy some wood first,’ Conn said.

  ‘I’ve got enough already sawn, I think,’ Reece said.

  ‘There, you see! You can start tomorrow. I want to come here as soon as possible. I’ll feel safer here, living with another lady.’ Kathleen went to mount her horse, with Leo’s help, leaving them to discuss the practicalities.

  ‘I’ll pay you for the wood,’ Conn said.

  ‘All right. Find out how much it’d cost to buy some from a timber mill and knock a bit off the price, because mine isn’t professionally milled. I think Kevin used to saw up wood to keep himself occupied. And at one time he thought his nephew would be coming out here and he’d need a bigger house, but that didn’t happen.’

  ‘Done.’ Conn held out his hand and the two men shook to seal the bargain. ‘And look, will you and Cassandra keep an eye on Livia and Kathleen? Let me know if things aren’t going well.’

  ‘Of course. I hadn’t realised Livia was so short of money. Francis never discussed his finances.’

  ‘She sounds to be desperate.’

  ‘I wonder if she’d like to rent some of her land to me.’

  ‘Thinking of expanding?’

  ‘Now that Cassandra has some of her inheritance, we can try more things. We want to make cheeses. There’s a rocky outcrop behind here with a sort of cave. I think we can deepen it and make somewhere cool to store the cheese as it ripens. Did you know you can make cheese from goat’s milk? They’d be easier to rear here than cows, don’t you think?’

  ‘I miss cheese. Proper cheese, hard and well-ripened.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Bram and I are going into business together, opening a shop in Perth. By the time you have cheese ready to sell, that should be open and you could sell it there.’

  ‘Sometimes things fall nicely into place,’ Reece said with a satisfied smile.

  On the way home Kathleen prattled about her coming move, insisting they had to start building the very next day.

  ‘I’ll have to find a carpenter first,’ Conn said. ‘And there aren’t any near here that I know of.’ He said that several times, but she wasn’t listening.

  ‘I don’t mind helping you,’ Ronan said. ‘I’m sure we can put together something adequate, with Reece’s help.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Of course I am.’

  ‘Then we’ll go and camp out there, get the thing done as quickly as possible.’

  ‘I’ll help you too, if you like,’ Bram said. ‘I’ve not built a house before but I’m good with my hands. After that I must go up to Perth and wait for Dougal to return.’

  Conn felt as if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He couldn’t believe how well things were going. It was a long time since he’d felt even the slightest bit optimistic, but now there was quite a lot to be happy about.

  He’d provided for Kathleen and would be getting her away from his mother and Maia. And one day, if he was patient, he might even be able to have what he wanted most, the woman he loved as his wife.

  For two long weeks, Kathleen fussed about her coming move, making her maid’s life a misery. Conn and Ronan were absent quite a lot of that time, building the room, so the other women had to cope with Kathleen and her moods as best they could.

  Strangely it was Maia who could handle her best. She showed Kathleen how to make cakes and let her help as if she was a child, putting up with her occasional barbed remarks by ignoring them completely.

  At Westview Conn felt guilty about how much he enjoyed being away from his wife. He worked hard, learning a lot about building the simple wooden houses they used in the colony, and admitted ruefully that he wasn’t as good with wood as Ronan and Reece. He contented himself with fetching and carrying, helping where he could and following their orders. Every two or three days he rode back to Galway House to report progress and check that his mother and Maia were all right.

  It was a great relief to everyone when the new room was finished. Kathleen and Orla got into the cart and he drove them across to Westview.

  His wife didn’t look back, but Conn saw Orla gaze over her shoulder a few times until they were out of sight. She looked wistful and unhappy, and had confessed to him the previous night that she’d rather have stayed at Galway House.

  That wasn’t possible, not if they were to be freed from the burden of Kathleen’s presence and spiteful remarks. But he promised to raise her wages and keep the money safe for her, which cheered her up greatly.

  ‘If I save enough, I can go home, can’t I?’ she said.

  ‘If you give two years’ service to my wife, I’ll pay your fare home,’ he offered impulsively. Her face lit up.

  ‘Oh, sir! Oh
, I’ll do anything to go home, sir.’

  13

  A month later Xanthe decided it was time to look to her own future. She waited till she and her sister were in bed to speak. ‘Nancy has worked out well, hasn’t she?’

  ‘Yes, she’s a good worker and very efficient, too. We’ve caught up with a lot of the jobs round the place, things we had to leave before.’

  ‘Yes, we have. So I think . . . I can leave now.’

  There was silence and she heard Maia try to stifle a sob, but didn’t let herself be softened by this. She’d known it’d be hard to move away from her sister, had discussed it with Cassandra, who would still be there if Maia needed help.

  She’d miss Maia desperately, because they’d never been separated before, but she knew she had to strike out for a life of her own before it was too late. She was twenty-seven now, past looking for a husband but wanting a more interesting life than housework on a remote farm in Australia.

  ‘I’d have come with you if Mrs Largan didn’t need me.’

  ‘She does need you, very much, because she’s failing rapidly.’

  ‘She’s so brave about it. I admire her in many ways.’

  ‘Afterwards, Conn will need you too. Sometimes I see him looking at his mother and there’s such pain in his eyes. That poor man has had a lot to bear. And he’s not heard a thing from the Bishop, has he?’

  ‘He didn’t expect to.’

  ‘Has he talked to you, made any promises about what may happen if he gets his annulment?’

  ‘No. He told me nothing is certain. He seems afraid even to hope.’

  ‘You should find other employment . . . after Mrs Largan doesn’t need you any more.’

  ‘I don’t know what I’ll do – what he’ll want – then.’

  ‘You’ll not give yourself to him out of marriage?’

  There was another silence, then Maia said quietly, ‘I can’t promise you that. If he needs me . . .’

  ‘Maia, no! You’d be the one to suffer if anything came of such a relationship. Think how it was in Outham when a girl was expecting a child out of wedlock.’

  ‘It’s different for me. I’d have enough money to look after myself – and a child. You’re spending your inheritance on what you want. I shall do the same. Now, I’m tired and want to sleep. There’s no use going over the same ground again and again. You’ve made your decision, you’re determined to leave and nothing I say will change it.’

  She turned her back to her sister and refused to say anything else.

  It was a long time before Xanthe got to sleep, though. She was excited about her future but she was apprehensive and sad too.

  The next day Xanthe went to find Conn, who was outside schooling one of the young horses. ‘He’s coming on nicely,’ she said, having learned a lot about horses since she came to Galway House. ‘When you’ve a moment, I’d like to speak to you.’

  He looked at her as if he guessed what she was going to say. ‘Now would be fine with me. Sean, will you take over, please?’

  The old man came forward and Conn walked away. ‘Shall we sit down?’ He went to a bench that was set in an area of the garden he’d hoped his mother would enjoy when the bushes and cuttings grew bigger and waited till Xanthe had sat down.

  ‘I think it’s time for me to leave,’ she began.

  ‘You haven’t changed your mind about staying in Australia? Maybe finding a more interesting job in Perth?’

  ‘No. I find myself longing for soft rain and a greener country.’

  ‘Shall you settle near Pandora?’

  ‘I’m not sure.’ She gave him a rueful smile. ‘I’m not sure about anything except that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in the Swan River Colony.’

  His voice grew sharper. ‘And Maia?’

  ‘Your mother needs her.’

  He picked up a twig with a few dry gum leaves still attached and began shredding one absent-mindedly. ‘My mother won’t need her for much longer, I’m afraid.’

  ‘I know. She’s a very brave woman. I shall always think of her kindly.’ Xanthe hesitated but couldn’t leave without saying it. ‘What about Maia . . . afterwards?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You’ll . . . treat her with respect?’

  ‘I love her. You know that I’d never willingly hurt her.’

  ‘You should send her away once she’s not needed here. Don’t spoil her life.’

  He looked at her with eyes filled with sorrow. ‘That’ll be a decision she and I will make later. I can’t even think about it now, not with my mother failing.’

  Xanthe let a few moments pass before she went on. ‘At least your wife isn’t here any longer.’

  ‘Livia is working miracles at keeping her happy.’

  ‘Your wife should have been brought up very simply, with horses to ride and the same tasks to do every day.’

  ‘Yes. Fortunately, she’s convinced herself that the present arrangement had nothing to do with me, but was arranged by herself and Livia. Though how long this will last, I don’t know. Anyway, when do you wish to leave?’

  ‘Quite soon, if that’s all right with you. I read in the newspaper that the mail boat will be calling at Albany in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘What if there’s no cabin to be had?’

  ‘Then I can go steerage. But I’ve already written to the shipping agent in Albany and asked for passage.’

  ‘You seem to have thought of everything.’

  ‘Yes. Ronan went to the highway for me and stopped the mail cart to book me a place on the next one going down to Albany and to give them my letter. I have to leave in two days’ time.’

  ‘So soon? Have you told Maia?’

  ‘Not the details, no. I didn’t want her weeping for my last two days.’ She bent her head and said gruffly, ‘I’m not doing this lightly, Conn. It’ll hurt me too to be parted from her. But I’m hoping to see her again and we’ll write. I just – can’t settle in a place like this. It’s a refuge for you, but a prison for me.’

  Xanthe left early in the morning two days later. She got up very early and Maia got up with her, tears running down her cheeks the whole time they were making the final preparations.

  Neither of them ate much. Neither of them said much. It had all been said during the long hours of a wakeful night.

  ‘Are you sure you have to go?’ Maia sobbed as the moment of parting came.

  ‘We’ve been over and over this.’

  ‘I can’t believe I’ll never see you again.’

  Xanthe hugged her close, finding the strength somehow to speak calmly. ‘That’s not true. Of course we’ll meet again, and we’ll write often.’

  ‘That’s not the same. Let me come with you to wait for the mail cart.’

  ‘No. It’s best to get our farewells over in private.’

  Conn came and put his arm round the sobbing Maia, while Ronan escorted a white-faced Xanthe out to the cart.

  She was uncharacteristically quiet and he knew she was feeling desperately sad.

  ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’ he asked gently.

  ‘Is anyone ever sure of the future? I only know I can’t live my life here.’ She stared at her trunk and bag, then jumped down and began pacing to and fro by the road.

  Ronan tried to think of something to say but only came up with, ‘You’re lucky to get a fine day to travel.’

  ‘I’d not have cared if it rained. My only regret is leaving Maia behind. It’s been very frustrating living in such an isolated place.’

  ‘Conn seems to like it.’

  ‘Conn is hiding away at Galway House.’ She sighed. ‘Who do you think made him seem guilty?’

  ‘His father must have had a hand in that.’

  She gaped at him. ‘Surely not?’

  ‘I’ve thought about it a lot. Conn was talking about getting an annulment. That’d have meant his father giving back the large dowry Kathleen’s parents paid to get her married.’


  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I doubt we can ever be sure now because he’s taken his secret to the grave. But why else would Susannah Largan have left her husband and come all this way to be with her son? Nothing else makes sense about the whole incident.’

  ‘Does Conn suspect it?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Poor man. He’s been treated even more badly than I realised. But even so, I worry about leaving my sister with him.’

  He shrugged. ‘They’ll make their choices. Don’t we all?’

  ‘How much longer are you staying in Australia?’

  ‘Two or three months, I suppose. With my mother gone, I’m drifting a bit.’ He grinned suddenly. ‘I’ll enjoy myself less with you gone.’

  She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. ‘I’ve enjoyed your teasing. I always did wish we had a brother or two.’

  ‘It’s not brotherly I’m feeling towards you, Xanthe Blake.’

  He caught her gaze and saw her eyes widen. ‘Will you let me kiss you again? A farewell kiss.’

  Mutely she raised her face towards him and he gathered her in his arms and kissed her till the world spun around. Then he realised she was pushing against his chest and he let her go.

  ‘There’s a vehicle approaching,’ she said, reaching up to make sure her small, neat bonnet was straight.

  The vehicle proved to be what people called the mail van, but was actually a spring cart, complete with driver and guard. It was drawn by sturdy horses and carried only two or three passengers per trip at a cost of four pounds.

  The guard helped load Xanthe’s luggage, then Ronan stood back and watched the cart leave, not moving till it was out of sight.

  He was going to miss her greatly. She interested him more than any other woman he’d ever met. She hadn’t been raised to be a gentleman’s wife and he knew she’d feel uncomfortable and be treated with condescension if he did the unthinkable and married her. It was only now as he stood alone by the muddy track listening to the last faint sounds of horses’ hooves, cart wheels and harness rattling that he acknowledged to himself that he’d been tempted, very tempted to see if he could win her hand.

  He laughed, but it wasn’t a mirthful laugh, rather mockery at himself. He talked as if he only had to crook his finger and she’d fall into his arms. He couldn’t even be sure of that. She was very firm about her desire to remain single. She wanted more than a life bearing and raising children.