Crowning the Slug Queen (A Callie Stone Mystery Book 1)

by L. M. Fortin

  In clothing reminiscent of Queen Elizabeth II, Slugabeth wore a lime green coatdress with green and black striped stockings and black patent leather shoes with large gold buckles. She still wore her pearls. This was the first contestant Callie had seen who had not gone with an overt slug theme. Maybe she was just letting her name speak for itself thought Callie.

  The next contestant was also a woman. In her real photo, Lia Longman wore a red plaid shirt, blue jeans and boots. Unlike Callie's jeans, it was obvious that Lia's jeans had seen real work and didn't do double duty as a fashion statement. Lia posed in front of a beat up Chevy pick-up truck with a gun rack hanging across the back window of the cab. Her dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail framed a strong face that was somewhat square jawed. Callie wouldn't have immediately called her pretty, but she had an arresting look about her. This woman would be comfortable being in charge of bringing in the cattle, thought Callie.

  “Lia comes in here all the time. She’s a shot and a beer kind of girl,” Polly said. “She can really pound ‘em down.”

  Lia's alter ego was Bella Oozonia. To Callie, Bella seemed to be a slug based on forest camouflage. Her hair was totally pulled up into a soft flapped hat made of a mottled green and brown fabric. Her face was so covered in green and brown swirled paint, Callie couldn't tell where the jawline of the former Lia even was anymore. Bella wore a high necked brown shirt covered by a camouflage jacket and pants.

  “She doesn’t look much like the beauty queen type,” Callie said.

  “That’s the point. Lia wants to show her four brothers that she can win a beauty contest,” said Polly. “Lia’s the youngest and I think she’s suffered a lot of teasing in her years. This might give her some bragging rights. Other than being able to drink half of Skinner under the table.”

  Before going to the final contestant, Callie ran through the rest of them again to keep them straight in her mind. At least they were all distinctive enough she'd probably be able to recognize them both in and out of their slug queen get ups.

  The final contestant was a man and Callie assumed he might be a professional drag queen. “Wow,” said Polly. “I can’t tell if he’s prettier as a guy or a girl.”

  In his normal photo, Callie could see high cheekbones and long lashed green eyes, with his dark black hair pulled back from his face. He was thin almost to the point of emaciation, but Callie supposed that could be seen as an asset in a man acting as a woman. “His name is Alex Hermann, but for our little contest he’s going by the name of Molluska. Very sluggish.”

  “He looks amazing as a woman. He sure didn’t get that dress in town,” Polly said. Molluska wore what looked to Callie to be a couture dress, possibly Dior. The dress was a vivid emerald green with sparkling diamante sown throughout the fabric. The dress was also low cut and Callie wondered what sort of undergarments would be able to give a man that realistic hint of cleavage. Her fingernails were painted a dark green and then sprinkled with glitter so that they mirrored the fabric of the dress. Molluska's raven black hair was styled in an up do with ringlets cascading down her back and the sides of her narrow face. She was thin, model thin, and her skin had a fragility and translucence to it that seemed decidedly unmasculine. As Molluska, Callie could not tell in the least Alex was a man. Maybe a faint five o'clock shadow around the jaw line?

  “She doesn’t seem to be trying to win the completion through humor and well, sluggedlyness,” said Callie. “She might be able to win a standard beauty pageant. Except for the small fact that she’s really a man.”

  As Callie began to read the answer to why Molluska wanted to be the slug queen she thought it seemed odd. “This seems sort of familiar,” she said pushing the application towards Polly, when a noise came from outside the bar.

  “Uh-oh,” Polly said. “Mama bear’s on the prowl again.”

  A man, wearing two leg casts, awkwardly tried to round the corner in a wheelchair. “Let me help,” Polly said getting up and walking over to him.

  “Just get away from me,” the man said. “How am I ever supposed to learn to make this work with you hovering over me like a mother hen?”

  His long dark hair was held in a braid that went half way down his back and he was wearing a dingy white t-shirt that was so wrinkled Callie assumed this wasn’t the first time he had worn it.

  He looked at Callie with a scowl. “Who’s this?” he asked Polly.

  “I told you earlier. This is the woman who’s been nice enough to take my place in the pageant.

  “Better her than you. Bunch of fruity cross-dressers…”

  “Who are still giving us full sponsorship credit even though I’m helping anymore,” said Polly. “Getting out in the community is good for business.”

  Callie thought that Zeke didn’t look persuaded. “It’s nice to meet you, Zeke. Polly, I won’t take up any more of your time,” Callie said, gathering up the applications and putting them back in her bag. “I need to get to the theater for practice anyway.”

  “Let me know if you have any more questions. And if you need help on the day of the pageant, I can probably get away for a few hours.”

  “I’ll remember that and let you know,” said Callie. “I really appreciate your help.”

  Callie could have sworn Zeke growled at her as she went out the door. Mama bear, indeed.

  She drove back through town to the Newsome Center, parked her car and went in. The interior of the center was designed to reflect the beauties of the Pacific Northwest and featured deep green carpets and exposed hardwood beams. The center itself was unique for more than its architecture. In true Skinner spirit, the building had been built as the result of an arts foundation of local citizens and not as part of a commercial enterprise.

  Callie opened the door to the main theater and went in. The Straub Theater was the gem of the building. It had unparalleled acoustics, much of it due to the innovative ceiling. The architect had designed the ceiling to look as if large pieces of ribbon were woven in and out of each other. Callie felt as if she were inside a large round basket or a Christmas present. Each woven piece was tan in color and tipped on the edges with a light green stripe.

  The seating area was empty except for Callie, and at first all she could hear was the whoosh of the air conditioning.

  Then, behind the curtain, off to stage right, Callie thought there might be two people having a low voiced, but intense conversation. She began walk down the aisleway so she could go to the stage and meet whichever contestants had arrived first.

  A woman with a low voice said, "None of these things are for you, so back off!" Then there was a small crash and the sound of glass breaking. Callie said, "Hello--who's there?"

  She climbed the stairs on the right side. As she went around the curtain, she could see the stage door a few feet away was beginning to swing close. Apparently whoever was here, didn't want to be seen. Her feet crunched on something and she looked down to see shards of glass on the floor.

  A voice behind her said, "You look like you dropped something," and she jumped.

  Turning around she saw a short man with brown hair that was thinning on the top and thick round glasses. From his flannel shirt, jeans and the array of tools around his waist, she recognized his type--stage manager. One of the members of the extended tribe of event organizers.

  "No, this wasn't mine. I heard something break a minute a go and came up to have a look, but there's no one here now. I suppose we should clean this up?"

  He eyed her warily. "And by we, do you mean me?"

  "No, if you get a broom and dust pan, I'll help."

  He seemed to brighten at this. He went out the stage door and came back with a broom. "Do you want to sweep or hold the dust pan?"

  "I'll hold the dust pan." She was curious to see if she could figure out what had broken by seeing the pieces all together. "By the way, I'm Callie. I'm helping out with the pageant. I'm taking Polly's place."

  He nodded. "I figured that's who you were as you're the only
one dressed like a real person instead of a spangledy slug. I'm Wade and I keep everything right back here in the stage area."

  "Nice to meet you Wade." Callie crouched down and held the dustpan while Wade swept. At first she didn't think any of the pieces were going to be large enough to be identifiable. Then, a large chunk landed in the dustpan.

  "What do you think this is?" she asked as she held up the piece for Wade to see. It was a small hollow cone of twisted glass about two inches long and the only thing Callie could think of that it looked like was a unicorn horn. Only one end was broken off, but the narrower end was smooth and round with a hole in the middle of it.

  He took the piece from her. "I don't know. Maybe the arm of a starfish or something?"

  "Well, we're thinking along the same lines. I was thinking the horn of a unicorn." They both laughed. She took the piece back from him and said, "Do you mind if I keep this?"

  "I was just going to sweep it up and throw it away with the rest, so feel free."

  She pulled a tissue out of her bag, wrapped the piece up and put it away. She dumped the rest of the glass in a nearby garbage can and gave the dustpan back to Wade.

  "Would you like a tour of backstage?" he asked. "I know the show will be downtown, but it can't hurt for you to know your way around here."

  "I'd love a tour. Backstage areas are some of my favorite places in the world." He smiled at her in agreement. Callie realized as she said it that any place behind the scenes of an event was really where she always wanted to be. It wasn't just that there was a sort of puppet master feeling to it; it wasn't the thrill of being in charge. In fact, the responsibility of being in charge was an event's greatest liability. No, she thought, it was the feeling of being the person with all the answers. Of knowing where the hidden rooms were that had the light switches to immediately change the ambience of a room or knowing the back hallways that allowed you to avoid all the attendees when you needed to get ahead of them to fix a problem. It was the fun of getting to know the staff in a hotel or conference center and being welcomed in like family as for a day or a week you worked with them as a team to create an experience for people who would never know that staff ever existed. In a subconscious way the attendees knew that the dessert buffet with chocolate fountain, meticulously cut fruit and an array of sauces didn't appear out of nowhere, but they never actually understood the coordinated effort it took to bring all those things together.

  Callie often felt like the conductor of a large orchestra where everyone had practiced their parts separately, but finally got to come together to play. And the whole was greater than the sum of the parts.

  She didn't have to explain any of this to Wade. It was part of his DNA.

  The immediate backstage area was fairly compact. To the right of the stage, where they cleaned up the glass, was an area only large enough to hold any actors waiting to enter the stage or hold a small piece of staging awaiting its entrance. Callie also noticed a set of elevator doors.

  "Where does the elevator go?" she asked.

  "Two places. Down into where most of our ready rooms for the cast are as well as storage. It also goes up into the stage rigging." He pointed upwards to where Callie could see a cat walk that ringed the stage. "Most of our staging is moved electronically, but there's still a manual system where you can bring the scrims and curtains up and down by hand if you want to."

  The left side of the backstage area was larger than the right and included a green room that looked as if it could hold eight or nine people and a second small room across the hall from it that held a variety of lights, switches and computers. "This is the a/v control room," said Wade. There was also a desk with a laptop, and a small table with a coffee maker and a microwave. "This is where you'll find me most days if I'm not out and about. With a big show, of course, we control the a/v from the sound booth at the back of the mezzanine seating area. However, all the commands go through here."

  Callie understood the unstated message. If there was some sort of stage emergency, this room was where you'd go to try and fix the problem as it was really the control center for the whole theater.

  They went back out into the hallway to a door at the end. The short landing fronted a door to outside the theater and inside stairs that went down. They went down the stairs to the theater's basement level. "This is where our other cast rooms are located. There's also a laundry room, a kitchen and a large open room we generally use for a cafeteria when we bring in shows that have lots of extras. The door to the loading dock is also here." Callie remembered one conference she had done early in her training where the final event was a performance of the musical 42nd Street. She had spent half the night washing, ironing and starching shirts for the thirty plus cast members who each had many costume changes.

  Callie noted there were four rooms for cast members on this level; two of them were small and would only hold one person and maybe their dresser. She assumed these would be for the lead actors. The other two rooms each looked as if they would hold six people, each with their own lighted mirror and station for make-up and clothing.

  These rooms were all along the left side of the hall. On the right side there was only one door. Wade took out his ring of keys to open the padlock. "This is where the fun is," he said mischievously. The door opened into a darkened room and Callie gasped when he turned on the lights. It was the theater's main storage room. In approximately one half of the room there were rows of metal shelves all piled high with things like hats, swords, pillows, room décor, tables, chairs, anything it would take to create and enhance a scene on stage.

  The second half of the room held larger stage pieces like doors or faux staircases. Callie saw a trio of disco balls she thought looked entertaining. She smiled, "You're right, this is where all the fun is."

  "I thought you'd like it. Our main storage is in a warehouse across town on West Eleventh Street, but this is where we keep most of the smaller stuff. We're limited here to what can fit into the elevator."

  At the opposite end of the hall were the elevator doors. "Can we go up to the rigging?" asked Callie.

  "As if a tour of the stage would be complete without the sky view," he said smiling and pushing on the elevator button.

  The elevator was of an industrial size, with gray padded mats hanging on the walls to protect any stage sets from bumps and damage. The elevator moved smoothly and the door opened silently when it reached the upper level of the theater.

  Callie and Wade stepped out onto a metal catwalk. They walked forward until they got to the place where it overlooked the stage. There were ropes and numerous sandbags that acted as ballast for the curtains and backdrops.

  Wade leaned over the side of the railing looking down. "I've been here since they built the place. Back in the early days we'd spend hours up here watching the show and moving the scenery and curtains around. It's a lot easier on my back now that so much of its electronic, but I sometimes miss the bird's eye view of the show."

  Callie said, "I always thought of this as 'God' view. It's not only that I can see what's going on, but I get to control an awful lot of it."

  He laughed. "You're right. I guess a bird doesn't really have much impact on the whole show, does it?"

  They both looked down as they saw two people arrive on the stage. "I'm sure it makes no difference to you, but I will be taking the dressing room on this floor," said a man's voice in falsetto. From the view above, Callie couldn't see the face of the speaker, but from the black beehive of hair she could see, she assumed it was Slimerita Rivera.

  "That would be one of many things you would be wrong about," said the second person in a low voice that Callie couldn't tell was a man or a woman's. There was an accent to it she couldn't quite recognize. Maybe Eastern European? However, from the brilliant green dress, she thought she could identify the speaker as Molluska. Neither of the two voices matched the distinctly female voice Callie had heard yelling earlier.

  "I think I'd better be heading down to meet the
contestants," said Callie.

  "Better you than me," Wade mumbled as he led her back to the elevator.

  CHAPTER NINE

  The pictures definitely did not do them justice, thought Callie. While she and Wade had taken the elevator down to the main level, the other three contestants had arrived and now all five were standing on stage in full slug queen regalia. And full slug queen attitude, Callie thought, as they were arguing about who should get what dressing room.

  Molluska in her glittering green dress and four-inch heels was arguing with a low intensity with the olive green slug version of Cinco de Mayo, Slimerita Rivera. Bella Oozonia, in her forest camouflage seemed to be triumphing in her discussion with her majesty, Queen Slugabeth II. From the tone of her voice, Callie thought Queen Slugabeth really didn't care, but felt she had to argue for form's sake. Standing to one side of these two groups was Gastronia Creepalot, known in real life as the mayor's husband. It wasn't really warm in the theater, but she was holding her full length claw tipped gloves in her hand instead of wearing them.

  Callie stepped out from the back stage area. "Hello, slug queens!" They stopped arguing and turned to see her and Wade. "I'm the new pageant coordinator. It's nice to meet you." From the looks on the faces of the queens, Callie could tell whatever pleasure there was, was entirely on her part. "Is there a problem here I can help with?"

  Immediately the four queens who had been arguing all began to speak at once, demanding their due as a slug queen contestant. Callie looked at Wade and asked a low voiced question. "If I tell them we can only use the dressing room on this floor, will you back me?" Wade gave an almost imperceptible nod.

  "Ladies, while I understand you need adequate space to get yourselves ready, in the end, we aren't really going to use this space for the actual show. So for now, I think it would be best if everyone shared the large dressing room on this floor. It will get us used to the cramped conditions we'll have at the outdoor stage."