by Felix Brooks
“Does Jake love you?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Then get him back. Show him what he means to you.”
Emmet gently tapped his fist against the arm of the chair. “With the semester break, I’ve had time to think. I tried to keep Jake in the boyfriend box and out of the football box. When I couldn’t do that, I panicked. If he’s going to be my boyfriend, then I’ve got to integrate him into my life, all of it. No barriers.”
Silver nodded his approval.
A broad smile spread over Emmett’s face. Joy broke through the sense of helplessness in his chest. He might be down, but the game wasn’t over yet. He knew exactly how to win Jake back.
***
It was third and goal with a few seconds left in the fourth quarter. The Pirates were down by five, so a field goal wasn’t an option. Emmett was in the pocket while Brent and Waseem rushed toward the end zone.
He faked to Brent, then threw the ball like a rocket toward Waseem. The fake worked, buying him a few milliseconds. The ball was in Waseem’s hand, and he went down on one knee. No flags. The refs signaled a touchdown.
The crowd was screaming, but Emmett’s mind was blank. A championship. An undefeated season. He’d dreamed of a moment like this for eight years, but now, it didn’t seem real.
He should react. He had a reputation for being unemotional, which was both good and bad. For a moment, he was numb, soaking it all in. Then, a thrill ran through him and he whooped at the top of his lungs, running downfield and hugging Waseem.
Waseem ran around chest-bumping all their teammates like he’d lost his damn mind. Emmett walked to the sideline, where the coach hugged him. Then he set about gathering his stuff.
He downed a sports drink, his head light. The swirl of action energized him, but his thoughts were a haze of excitement and disbelief.
Before he finished catching his breath, the press closed in. Talking to reporters was the last thing Emmett wanted to do in this bittersweet moment—the finest hour of his college football career, and also the last. He wanted to head back to the locker room and hang with his boys. But he and Miranda had rehearsed for this, and he knew it was important. He had to show he could keep his cool and give the media what they wanted.
A graying white man with an expanding midsection approached with a mic—Herve Bledsoe, from a startup cable sports network. Herve was loud-mouthed and aggressive, but not a total dick.
“Great game, Emmett.”
He gave a bright smile for the camera. “Thanks.”
“Some folks thought that with the speculation about your personal life, you’d be distracted today. But you proved them wrong.”
“My dad’s always said I’ve got a talent for staying focused. When I’m on the field, the game is all that matters.”
“You went into this game as an underdog. Some folks are probably regretting their friendly wagers today.”
He chuckled. “Never bet against Emmett Cross. That’s a losing proposition.”
“So you’re taking credit for today’s win?”
“Well obviously, I think I deserve the credit.” He smirked. “My teammates might disagree.”
“What’s your dad say about your humility, Emmett?”
“He thinks I could use more of it.” Emmett jokingly punched Herve’s upper arm.
“Some might say that today’s win cinched you a position as a top draft pick. Any thoughts on how the questions about your personal life might affect your chances?”
“The season may be over, but the scouting trials are coming up. Obviously I need to perform there. I’m not taking anything for granted. As for my personal life…”
Emmett shifted his weight and looked at the ground a moment before meeting Herve’s gaze. “People are going to think what they think. I’m not ashamed of who I am. But I made the man in my life think I was ashamed of him, and that’s not right. I’m not going to pretend anymore that my boyfriend isn’t important to me. I want a future with him. And if that makes people uncomfortable, that isn’t my problem.”
“So what’s next for you?”
“Stay fit. Prepare for the trials. See where things go from there.”
“Thanks, Emmett. Congratulations on the win.”
He sauntered to the locker room ignoring everything else. He needed to be with his boys right now. They were the only ones who understood the emotions churning inside him.
And Jake. Jake would understand.
As much as he was looking forward to seeing his parents later and sharing this day with them, it meant less without Jake. How could he have let the most important thing in his life get away?
He knew he’d screwed up, and Jake had every reason to never want to see him again. But Emmett wasn’t giving up. Not without making one final rush for the end zone.
***
Sitting with his family, Jake stared at the TV set in the waning light of day, hugging a pillow to his chest. The noise of the crowd, the chatter of the sportscasters didn’t register in his brain. Emmett had won. He’d apologized for how he treated Jake. And he’d said on national television that he wanted a future with Jake.
It was too much for Jake to process. Any one of those things would be a lot. But all three of them in combination had clouded his thoughts.
His dad and grandpa went outside and lit the grill. They were slow-cooking pork ribs using his grandfather’s special process. His grandma patted his shoulder, then took his mom into the kitchen to start the rest of dinner. This was their New Year’s Day tradition, pork and sauerkraut for luck, inherited from his grandmother’s Pennsylvania Dutch relatives.
Jake turned his eyes back to the screen. The field was clearing as the post-game show began. He picked up the remote and turned off the TV.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He’d accepted that Emmett couldn’t be in his life—hadn’t he? But now it was like a whirlpool had opened up in the middle of his family room, and it was drawing him in. Losing Emmett once—it gutted him. How could he consider taking another chance? From the very beginning, he had been more committed than Emmett had. He’d been patient. He’d taken risks. And Emmett had consistently put himself first.
Jake couldn’t do this again, couldn’t risk his heart. But the fact was, his heart was already broken. And Emmett was the only one who could heal it.
He sat rooted in place while the sun set, while fingers of orange painted the sky before fading to purple and finally to black. He couldn’t make this decision. He didn’t know how.
Emmett had looked so happy, hugging Waseem after their win. How could Emmett smile like that after everything they’d lost? But Emmett was better at compartmentalizing his life than Jake was. For Jake, every moment touched on every other moment. His days were uniformly colored by loss, by the absence of Emmett from his life.
His mind whirred, remembering what Emmett had said to the reporter. My boyfriend. I want a future with him.
Did he mean that? Was he really as much in love as Jake?
His mother called him to dinner, but he couldn’t. His stomach was churning, anxiety tensing every muscle. He felt like he was going to be sick. He didn’t know how to still these feelings, how to make sense of them. After what Emmett had done, how could he possibly let the man back in?
He went to his room and collapsed on his bed. Maybe tomorrow, things would be clear. For now, all he wanted to do was close his eyes and forget that Emmett Cross existed.
Before he could settle into deep sleep, the doorbell roused him. Someone answered it, and suddenly the house was full of voices. Voices he didn’t recognize.
All except for one. Emmett’s voice.
His heart pounded double-time, but he forced himself to walk slowly. He stopped halfway down the stairs.
Emmett was in a black leather jacket and a gray silk shirt, looking sexy as fuck, surrounded by his family. At least, Jake assumed they were his family: an African-American couple in their forties maybe, and two teen girls. Emmett was smili
ng wider than Jake had ever seen before, and holding what looked like two dozen long-stemmed red and white roses.
Jake was still on the staircase when their eyes met. Emmett’s expression turned tense. Jake tried to play it cool.
“Didn’t you have some big game today?”
“Yeah.” Emmett looked surprised. “We won.”
“That so.”
“It was kind of a big deal,” Emmett said, his mouth downturned, a hurt expression in his eyes.
Jake shrugged. “Maybe for you.”
Emmett stared at the floor and shuffled his feet. “Yeah, um, we were just in the neighborhood, so I figured we’d stop by. You can give these flowers to your mom if you want.”
Jake couldn’t hold back a smile, but Emmett wasn’t looking at him. So Jake took the last steps to the first floor and gently slid the bouquet from Emmett’s hands. “Give away flowers from the great Emmett Cross? Not on your life.” He stepped closer and looked up into Emmett’s eyes, expecting to see a smile there, but there was so much pain it took his breath away.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I’m so sorry. I’ve never screwed up this bad before, and I have no idea how to make it better. I love you, and I need you in my life.”
“I don’t know,” Jake said. “I might have to think about that.”
Emmett nodded, a glint of hope lighting his eyes. “We’re, um, headed out to dinner. I was hoping you could come along. It wouldn’t be a celebration without you.”
Jake’s throat was so full he couldn’t begin to speak. He couldn’t even believe Emmett was there, much less that he wanted Jake to celebrate with his family—in that moment that meant so much to Emmett.
Jake struggled to sort through his thoughts. “Yeah, sure, just let me put the roses in some water and I’ll get my coat.”
“Here,” his grandmother said, “I’ll take those.” She reached for the bouquet, and Jake handed it to her, still dazed. He brushed a few petals from his shirt. “Am I dressed okay?”
“You’re fine, dear,” said Mrs. Cross—well, Dr. Cross, he supposed.
He got a down vest from the closet. They stepped outside, floodlights casting a bright glow over the sidewalk and the driveway. Emmett introduced him to his family.
Lingering behind as they walked to the car, Jake clutched Emmett’s arm to stop him, then pulled him in for a kiss. Emmett gave a soft cry as their lips brushed together. It was sweet and sexy and made Jake want to rethink their plans for going out in public. Because there were things he’d like to do to Emmett that didn’t require an audience.
“You were amazing today,” Jake murmured. “That final pass at the buzzer for the win—we’ll be telling our kids about that until they’re so bored they want to disown us.”
Emmett drew him into a tight embrace, kissing his temple and saying in his ear, “I’ve been such an ass. I’ll never let you go again.”
“I won’t let you. We’re a team, Emmett. That means we work together. When something worries you, come to me. I’ll make it better.”
Emmett stroked Jake’s arms. “I’ve had to be strong my whole life. If I show my weaknesses…”
“I’ll lift you up.” Jake kissed him. “You’re safe with me.”
Emmett grinned. “I like the sound of that.”
They walked to the car, Emmett’s strong arm around Jake’s shoulders. He’d never felt so protected before, so loved. They had challenges ahead of them—serious ones—but he knew they could handle them together.
***
Emmett wheeled his overnight bag into the hotel room. Jake had insisted on a suite, at his expense, and the space was even bigger than Emmett had imagined. Kitchenette to the right, couch to the left with a big-screen TV. Beyond was a king-sized four-poster bed with dark wood and gray linens.
He was glad his parents had understood his desire to stay with Jake rather than riding home with them. And he was glad Jake’s family didn’t question the decision to spend the night in a hotel rather than in Jake’s boyhood bedroom.
Jake kicked the door closed and pinned Emmett to the nearest wall, kissing him. Emmett was instantly hard. He’d missed this man, the pliancy of his body, the taste of his mouth—his raw, sensual masculinity.
“Want to order some champagne?” Emmett asked.
“Not unless you do. It’s your night, Mr. MVP.”
Pride and happiness pulled his lips upward into a grin. “Waseem should get as much credit for that touchdown pass as me.”
“Let’s not talk about Waseem.” Jake unbuttoned Emmett’s shirt.
He planted soft kisses on Jake’s forehead. “Eager.”
“Hell yeah. You’re not?”
Emmett pressed his erection against Jake’s belly. “What do you think?”
“A hard man is good to find.”
They shed their clothes, still kissing as they made their way to the bed. “What do you want to do first?” Jake asked.
“Want to fuck you.”
Jake moaned into Emmett’s mouth. “I was hoping you’d say that.” He got the lube and condoms from his bag.
They settled beneath the covers, limbs tangling together. It was a luxury, being able to spread out in a bed with room to spare. But mostly, it was heaven to hold Jake in his arms like this, their mouths and hands exploring.
A month’s worth of nights spent apart, a month’s worth of pent-up desire found expression in touches rough and gentle and everything in between. Jake’s lithe body rippled under the caress of Emmett’s hand. He could look at Jake all night, the flat abs, the muscled thighs, the pale skin glowing in the moonlight. But right now, an urgent need was building to be inside him.
He slid down the bed. With two fingers and a generous amount of lube, he breached Jake’s body, then took that sweet cock into his mouth. Jake writhed beneath him, letting out the most delicious moans. Emmett loved being in control of Jake’s pleasure this way, finding the spot inside him that made him squirm and cry out.
With Jake primed, Emmett rolled on a condom. Face to face, he entered him by millimeters, determined to draw out the pleasure as long as possible.
“Please, Emmett,” Jake begged.
“Shh, we’ll get there. I want you aching for me.”
“I am. I do.”
Emmett pulled back and slid forward again at the same slow pace. Jake groaned, babbling and pleading. But with Emmett’s hands holding firmly onto Jake’s thighs, Jake couldn’t take any more than Emmett willingly gave.
“Need it. Please. I feel like I’m going to explode.”
“Patience. Let me lead.”
That seemed to calm Jake, as if he intuitively understood that Emmett needed this, to regain a sense of control. The weeks without Jake had taken their toll, and right now, he needed to possess him utterly, to mark Jake as his.
Once he was fully seated, he stilled and kissed Jake’s mouth. “Mine.”
“Yours,” Jake replied breathlessly.
“How do you feel?”
“Full. Aching.”
“I like you like that.” Emmett pulled out and rammed into him. Jake gasped, and Emmett held in place again. “Tell me what a big cock I have.”
“You do, Emmett. It’s huge. Biggest I’ve ever seen.”
Emmett thrust in and out of him in a slow, sure rhythm. “Do you love my huge cock?”
“So much, babe. Just like that. So good.”
Jake was trembling beneath him, and Emmett loved him that way, needy and vulnerable. He rested Jake’s legs on his shoulders, changing the angle, taking him even deeper. Jake whimpered. Emmett asked, “Can you come like this?”
“I don’t know…”
“I want you to. Want you to come from my cock.”
Emmett focused on hitting Jake’s gland, finding a rhythm that had him swearing. Until finally, Jake’s body bucked, and thick strands of cum shot over his stomach. Emmett grabbed Jake’s dick and milked it dry, picking up the pace inside him until his own orgasm coursed through him, an eruption of pleasur
e.
Emmett kissed along Jake’s calf. “Wanna do that again.”
“Babe, I’m gonna need some recovery time. Like maybe a week.”
“I like the idea of you thoroughly fucked.”
“I am. By your huge cock.”
Emmett chuckled, then pulled out and cleaned them up. He laid his head on Jake’s chest. “Can’t believe I almost let you go.”
“I can’t believe you did, either.”
“I was scared, Jake. The situation has died down, but after today’s win, it might pick up again. Reporters, hate groups, general assholes—we have to be prepared for that. Your family has to be prepared.”
“So tomorrow, we’ll talk to them. We’ll come up with a plan. Hire a security service if we need one. It’ll be fine.”
“I hate putting you through this.”
“You’re not. It’s my choice. I’m here with my eyes wide open. With all your faults, and all your incredible gifts, I choose you.”
Emmett nuzzled Jake’s neck. He’d never felt so secure and loved. With the championship game behind him and Jake in his bed, he had everything he wanted.
Chapter 19
Jake stood in the mail room at the student union, the noise from adjacent TV lounge a dull hum in his ears. He stared at the letter from Berkeley, holding his breath. This was it, his future.
He almost didn’t want to know what was inside.
He forced himself to pause and think about the choice before him. A few months earlier, it had been clear. But now, his life was so intertwined with Emmett’s, it was difficult to think about what was best for himself without thinking about how it would affect his boyfriend as well.
He wandered outside into the warm spring air. It was that rare time of year in North Carolina when the cold had gone but the heat and humidity hadn’t yet set in. The air was sweet, and the redbud trees were a haze of tiny pink blooms.
California would be so different—jacket weather year round. That wouldn’t be terrible. Weeks at a time without seeing Emmett? The thought left him aching.
Until the draft, they wouldn’t know where Emmett would be living the next four years. If Jake didn’t get into Berkeley, he could follow Emmett anywhere. But if he did get in…
