by Felix Brooks
Jake crossed the quad, heading to the frat house. Music blared as the student body celebrated the start of the weekend. He almost envied the underclassmen, their only worry getting through the rest of the semester. Jake’s whole life was unfolding in front of him, two paths that could lead to different futures, and he might have to choose between them.
He stepped onto the porch. Standing at the door, he nearly turned and went the other direction. Maybe it would be better not to open the envelope, not to know. If Berkeley wasn’t an option, then everything would be simple. He wouldn’t have to choose between his boyfriend and himself.
It would be easier that way.
The door pushed open, and Demonté exited with a couple of frat brothers. With a smile, Demonté said, “Emmett’s in his room.”
“Thanks.” Jake couldn’t keep standing there like an idiot. He had to do this. As he headed inside and wound his way up the stairs, despair hung like a weight in his chest. He ought to be happy. But there was no way to reconcile this. He wanted two things, and he might not be able to have both.
Jake stood in Emmett’s doorway. He still couldn’t believe that the beautiful giant of a man inside belonged to him. Emmett wore a heather-gray tank T-shirt with the Pirates’ logo splashed across the front. It exposed every delicious inch of the ripped muscles of his arms.
Jake’s body vibrated with a desire that was more than physical. Love burned inside him like a physical need. How would Jake survive weeks at a time without Emmett’s presence?
Emmett looked up and gave him a smile. “Hey.”
Jake stepped inside and closed the door. Those strong arms enveloped him and pulled him into a kiss. Jake wished it never had to end.
Emmett stepped back and smoothed a lock of hair back from Jake’s forehead. “The frat is having a party tonight if you want to go. Or we could do something, just the two of us.”
“Either way is fine.” Jake took a deep breath. “I heard from Berkeley.”
Emmett looked at him warily. “Is that good or bad?”
“Don’t know yet. I haven’t opened the letter.” Jake held it up to show him. “Also, it depends on how you define good and bad.”
Emmett gave him a mocking look, brows raised. “Getting accepted into Berkeley is good.”
“Living a continent away from you is bad.”
“We don’t know whether that will happen. And even if it does, I could be cut or injured or traded…How dumb would you feel if you turned down Berkeley, and a year later I ended up playing for San Francisco?”
“Pretty dumb.”
“You’ve got to think about yourself, Jake. My situation is volatile. We can work around the obstacles. I can come to you during the off-season, you can come to me during breaks. Plus, I’ll be traveling half the season. We can meet up when I’m on the West Coast. I can fly you first class to wherever I’ll be, and you can study on the plane—”
“Except when I have to be in the lab, or have other obligations. This won’t be as easy as you seem to think.”
Emmett shook his head, then stroked Jake’s back soothingly. “I can’t make this decision for you, but I don’t want to be the reason you regret this for the rest of your life. I support you no matter what. Don’t think that if you choose a different school, you’re doing it for me. The last thing I want is to stand between you and your dream. You’ve supported me in football, and I support you in this. You don’t have to choose between us and Berkeley. We’re already together. You can have Berkeley, too.”
“Maybe I didn’t get in.”
“We both know an envelope that thick doesn’t contain a rejection.”
“I want to hold onto the fantasy a little longer. The one where we’re together, with no recriminations.”
“That’s not your fantasy. Berkeley is.”
“What if we change our minds about us? What if it’s too hard? Four years is a long time to be apart.”
“I had a long-distance relationship with Tawna for three years and never cheated once. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“Oh, I get it.” Emmett grinned and wrapped his arms around Jake. “You’re worried you’ll cheat.”
Jake’s cheeks warmed, and he nuzzled Emmett’s neck. “I’ll just miss you.”
“We’ll make it work, Jakey. We’ve got our whole lives to be together. This is your one chance to get into this program.” Emmett kissed him. “I love you. No matter how hard things are, that won’t change. The next year is going to be challenging—I’ll barely have time for a social life. Even if I’m in Boston or Dallas or Green Bay, you may as well be in California building the career you want.”
“And you won’t mind?”
“Will you mind me playing football?”
Jake stared. “Of course not. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I wouldn’t want you to give that up.”
“And didn’t I just say the same thing about you?”
Jake thought a moment, then quietly nodded.
“Your career is just as important as mine. I don’t want you to feel guilty, like your dreams are disposable. You could be responsible for a huge medical breakthrough. How selfish would I be, to deny the world your brilliance? I want you to be happy—not just now, but fifty years from now. When you look back on your life, you should feel satisfied that you seized every opportunity. That’s what I plan to do—live my life with no regrets.”
“I guess I should open this letter, then.”
“Yeah, you should.”
Jake slid his finger under the seal and tore the envelope open. His hands shook, which was stupid. But it might be a rejection, if he’d been wait-listed or something…
“Oh hey, I got in,” he said in an ironic tone. But as he read the words again, an unexpected joy filled his chest. He’d forgotten how much he’d wanted this, how hard he’d worked to get it.
In that moment, excitement pulsing through his veins, he knew he couldn’t turn down the opportunity. If he and Emmett were separated, it would be difficult. But if they truly loved each other, they would make it through.
They sat on the bed together, Jake on Emmett’s lap. Jake took out his phone and called his parents. Hearing them say how proud they were drove away his misgivings. This was about them, and about the sacrifices his grandparents had made. Emmett wasn’t the only important person in his life.
When he got off the phone, he and Emmett went out to a steakhouse for dinner—holding hands this time. After scoring near the top at the scouting trials, Emmett had become a bona fide celebrity. The haters had to choose between tossing epithets or asking Emmett to pose with them for a photo they could post on Instagram. Usually, narcissism won out.
Treatment by the press ranged from scorn to celebration. Daytime talk-show hosts cooed over photos of Jake and Emmett, saying how cute they looked together. Some of the football commentators just seemed bewildered, as Emmett shattered their preconceptions about masculinity.
So far, it had been tolerable. He and Emmett had decided Jake wouldn’t give interviews. He wasn’t a public figure, and he owed the press nothing.
Emmett, on the other hand, was happy to talk to any reporters who would listen. He’d never expected to be the poster boy for LGBT rights in athletics, but that’s what he’d become. If it meant encouraging other young people to embrace their identity, he was all over that. And he talked openly about his dyslexia, too, instead of letting that stigma weigh on him.
Watching him mature into an advocate and a role model gratified Jake. Emmett was still an arrogant shit, but he was channeling that attitude into helping others find their strength.
As the sun set, the Intracoastal Waterway glowed purple. Jake looked across the table. He wouldn’t start grad school until the fall, but after that, he and Emmett might not have long stretches of time together until Emmett could become a free agent. It hurt to think about, but then again, Jake would soon be dating a professional football player. S
o there was that.
Emmett scowled at him. “What are you smiling about?”
Jake swirled his Jameson on the rocks. “Be careful what you wish for.”
Emmett chuckled. “I haven’t gotten it yet. The draft is still a few weeks away.”
“I know. It’s premature to start counting your millions.” But really, it was a foregone conclusion.
After dinner, they walked along the boardwalk in the moonlight. A faint breeze blew. The night air was cool but not chilly. Holding Emmett’s hand, Jake knew he had found his future. Whatever challenges they faced, they would overcome them together. And when Emmett’s arms enveloped him and drew him into a kiss, all his doubts drifted away.
Chapter 20: Epilogue
Emmett looked out the picture window to a stunning view of the Golden Gate Bridge. The sun had burned away the clouds, and the landmark gleamed orange against the blue sky and the rolling waters of the bay.
With Jake still two years from getting his PhD, Emmett had courted a California team when he became a free agent. So here they were, living in the same city year-round for the first time since they’d graduated college four years earlier. The separations during the football season had been hard, but that was behind them now.
San Francisco was insanely expensive, so Emmett hadn’t splurged too much. A career-ending injury could happen at any time. He was careful to save for the future. But their new home had all the amenities they needed, including an in-law suite for Jake’s parents. It would be a gradual process, acclimating them to the change. They’d move in full-time once Jake finished school.
Jake padded into the room in bare feet. “This place is amazing.” His voice echoed through the unfurnished first floor. “Glad we can afford to hire a decorator, because I can’t even imagine doing the work ourselves. Not with our crazy schedules.”
“Yeah,” Emmett said absently.
Jake walked up to him. “Babe?” he asked, sliding his arms around Emmett’s waist. “Something wrong?”
“Everything is perfect. Like, too perfect. You sure you won’t get sick of me being around all the time?”
“You won’t be around all the time. You’ve still got your away games. And I can go down to the Castro, pick up a couple of guys, and have a three-way in the new hot tub.”
“Don’t even joke about that.” Emmett nuzzled Jake’s neck just below his ear.
“Yeah, well, it’s not like the road doesn’t have its own temptations.”
“I’m committed to you. Only you, Jakey.”
“You say that now. But when you get to Miami for the first pre-season game, and have your pick of all those sexy bodies…muy caliente.”
“Not hotter than you.”
“You think so?” Jake kissed him.
“Of course I do. Don’t go getting insecure on me.”
“I’m not. I mean, we bought our first house together. That’s a big step.” Jake wore a smile, but there was disappointment in his voice. He had been dropping hints for weeks now, and Emmett had been acting oblivious.
“Not as big a step as this one.” Emmett held his breath, then got down on one knee and pulled out a ring box.
Jake gasped. Before Emmett could clear the emotions gathering in his throat, Jake knelt in front of him and said, “Hell yeah.” Sweet kisses rained over him.
Emmett met Jake’s lips, his chest swelling with joy. Then, he pulled back and scowled. “You didn’t even let me ask the question.”
“Emmett Cross, will you marry me?”
“Now that ain’t right.” Emmett shook his head.
Jake tickled him. “Answer the question.”
“You’re my whole life, Jakey. I want to spend every day by your side, raise children with you, grow old with you. Will you marry me?”
“I asked you first.”
Emmett rolled his eyes. “Yes, I will marry you.”
“Then I’ll marry you, too.”
Emmett slid the ring onto Jake’s finger, platinum encrusted with diamonds. He kissed him long and deep, lowering him onto the pale hardwood floor.
“How about that,” Jake said. “We can fuck in front of the Golden Gate Bridge. Don’t look, Golden Gate Bridge!”
“Are you drunk?”
“Giddy. I’m engaged to the great Emmett Cross.”
“Well, there is the small matter of the pre-nup. I’m a man of considerable means.”
“Screw that. I supported you when you were penniless.”
Emmett laughed. “You never supported me.”
“I’m sure my attorney will see it differently,” Jake teased.
“You can’t afford a lawyer on your stipend.”
“I can barely afford food on my stipend. It’s so shameful, being a kept man.”
“And I intend to keep you for a long time.” Emmett trailed kisses from Jake’s jaw to his throat. Jake moaned and squirmed beneath him. Emmett held him in place with his own body. “You’re mine, Jakey. I won’t let you get away.”
“Not going anywhere. Love you.”
“You too.” Emmett undressed him slowly, savoring his smooth skin, kissing the plane of his chest and stomach. He was sweet and vulnerable, bringing out Emmett’s protective instincts. He couldn’t get enough of this man, and now Jake was his to enjoy and love forever.
***
Thanks for reading Up and Coming!
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Excerpt from Coming Attraction.
Book 2 in the Coastal College Football series
Waseem enjoys playing the field, but he can’t put football teammate Brent out of his mind. The guy is straight—Waseem knows that the sexy blond with the chiseled pecs and rakish smile can never be more than a fantasy. But after Brent’s girlfriend dumps him out of the blue, he develops feelings for Waseem like nothing he’s ever known. Brent can't deny the attraction, and a fire quickly blazes between them. But Brent’s conservative family will never accept the shift in his orientation. When the truth comes out, will Brent give up everything to be with the man he loves?
Waseem al-Ahmad made his way through the darkness and entered the bar on Raleigh’s Hillsborough Street. Through the crowd of New Year’s revelers, he looked for his football buddies. One of the TVs above the bar replayed the shot of him catching the winning touchdown earlier that day, the one that had secured the Coastal College Pirates the division championship. Joy blossomed in his chest, but it was bittersweet.
Waseem hadn’t known how much he would come to love playing football. His high school team had been a ragtag bunch, and he’d developed no ambitions. Playing at Coastal was supposed to help him get a teaching job with some coaching on the side. He hadn’t known that his best friend Emmett Cross would mature into pro material, and raise the level of Waseem’s game the way he did.
Part of Waseem envied Emmett. Waseem wished he’d worked harder, that he’d taken that shot. But it was too late now. With that winning catch, his college football days had come to a close. At least as a player. Maybe one day he’d be good enough to coach at a college level. For now, his plan was to seek a high school position. He had a talent for teaching other players and helping them succeed. If he could make a living at that, he’d be a happy man.
“Waseem!” The voice carried across the bar. Waseem turned in that direction. Brent Adams wore one of his famous smirking grins, a shock of dirty-blond hair falling over his forehead. It seemed like the guy never took anything seriously. He was even more laid back than Waseem was, and that was saying something.
Waseem sauntered over. Brent rose and put his arm around him. Raising a beer mug, Brent said to their buddies. “I’d like to propose a toast to my friend Waseem here, who should have gotten the MVP award for today’s game instead of that loser Emmett Cross.” Brent was teasing about Emmett—he was that kind of a guy—plus he and Emmett were friends. But Waseem appreciated the compliment just the same.
And come to think about it, it felt really fucking go
od to have Brent’s arm around him. Waseem looked over into those beautiful brown eyes, and his cock twitched a little. But he wasn’t about to let those thoughts go any further. Brent was straight, and had been dating the same girl since high school.
Waseem was just lonely. He had been since he and Garon had broken up. Waseem couldn’t believe he’d fallen for the guy’s charm so completely, that he couldn’t see Garon had no ethics. It seemed obvious now. The guy was so chill, he had no passion, no strong beliefs. Still, Waseem had been blindsided when Garon outed Emmett to a sports gossip site, all for the sake of a couple hundred bucks.
Waseem’s family was fairly well off, so he couldn’t truly empathize with someone who was stretched financially the way Garon was. Still, outing someone was dangerous. Some lines shouldn’t be crossed.
As Waseem sat, the waitress came over. “Club soda, and keep it coming,” he requested with a smile. The other guys ordered refills on their beers.
Waseem was Muslim and didn’t drink, which had turned out to be convenient. As designated driver he got a lot of invitations and had developed a wide circle of friends. That suited Waseem just fine, because he was an outgoing guy who made friends easily. But that quality hadn’t always served him well in his dating life.
Not like he wanted to settle down. He was twenty-two and intended to enjoy himself. Still, some guys wanted to get with him but then never answered his calls after. They kind of pissed him off. He wasn’t just a good time—he was a human being.
Worse were the guys who responded with slurs about his ethnicity. That never stopped hurting. He could deal with it from strangers, but guys he’d been intimate with? That stung. He knew it was their own self-loathing—they hated themselves because they couldn’t resolve the conflict between their attraction and their bigotry. Waseem was working on becoming more discerning. The problem was, he looked for the best in people. As it turned out, a lot of people didn’t deserve that.
