Three Brothers Lodge - The Complete Series Box Set

by Morris Fenris

  His words had been so similar to the last counselor she’d sought out, a few weeks after arriving in Colorado, she’d felt like she was in a time warp.

  Becca had kicked the hospital’s psychologist out of her room and demanded that someone call her roommates to come and get her. When the nurses had asked her what was wrong, she’d refused to say a thing. She was done trusting people with her feelings and emotions.

  Gracie had arrived fifteen minutes later, horrified that Becca had gone through such a trying ordeal and her roommates were just hearing about it. Becca hadn’t told Gracie about the counselor, afraid she would say too much and leave an opening for her friends to start asking questions about the past as well.

  It had been six months since her attack, and she still felt jumpy and nervous in dark places. Physically, she’d had some bruises and cuts, but mentally, it was as if her brain had been fire-stormed. Night terrors were just one of the ways her brain had chosen to deal with her attack. Panic attacks and an aversion to being touched were others.

  Gracie seemed to think that she was suffering from a sort of PTDS, but Becca was adamantly against any kind of counseling. She’d tried that briefly after arriving in Colorado. The college medical center had a mental health doctor, and she’d gone to him exactly twice. The first time had been more of a meet and greet session.

  But during the second session, the counselor had told her that she’d set herself up to be attacked by Dagan. He’d insinuated that she’d basically asked for what had happened and everything that had followed was in part her responsibility. He’d affirmed her guilt over her brother’s death, reminding her that she was the one who made the decision to take off with her boyfriend. Her brother had paid for her lack of judgment.

  She’d never gone back to another session, believing she could heap guilt on her own shoulders and didn’t need to pay someone hundreds of dollars to help. Becca had slammed out of his office, recommending he find another vocation because his ability to listen without passing judgment was deplorable.

  Coupled with her experience in the emergency room, Becca had no use for the entire counseling profession. Except for Gracie.

  Gracie was a medical doctor, but she seemed to know more about how Becca’s brain processed things than even Becca herself did. Without Gracie, she wasn’t sure how she would have survived the last six months.

  And yet, here she was heading to Hawaii without her. Gracie couldn’t travel because of her knee surgery, so Kaillar had stepped in to provide the companionship and support she needed. For the first time in years, Becca could honestly say that she was glad to have a man’s shoulder to lean upon.

  Chapter 3

  The plane’s wheels touched down, and she felt her companion stir in the seat next to her. Kaillar Donnelly.

  She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, watching as his lashes fluttered several times before opening and revealing his deep blue eyes beneath a mop of unruly dark blonde hair. He’d fallen asleep somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, and Becca had spent many long moments watching him sleep.

  He was the middle brother of the three Donnelly men, and had offered to escort her home to say goodbye to her father. She’d tried to figure out why all of a sudden he had seemed to be safe to her, when only days earlier he’d sent tendrils of fear rushing through her body because he had stood too close to her.

  Those feelings seemed to have vaporized and as he’d slept, she’d wanted nothing more than to lay her head on his shoulder and seek the same refuge in slumber. But Becca’s dreams were more often than not unpleasant; and the fear that she would have a nightmare while trapped in this seat and on the plane had kept her awake the entire trip. A feat that even now was taking a great toll on her ability to function correctly.

  Becca had never been the type of person who functioned well on just a few hours of sleep. She always felt as if she was wading through muddy waters, and that everyone was moving in slow motion around her the next day. She mentally groaned as she realized that by not sleeping, she’d possibly made a truly horrible day almost impossible to take. I should have tried to get at least a few hours of sleep.

  But it was too late now. The flight was over. They’d flown from Denver to San Francisco and then taken a late flight off the mainland. It was now almost 10 a.m. on Saturday morning in Hawaii, but with the time difference, that meant Becca had been awake for almost thirty-two hours.

  She looked back out the window, and called up the image of Kaillar she’d created in the wee hours of the morning. Yawning, she closed her eyes, and envisioned a beach with waves crashing off the shore as men and women tested their abilities against Mother Nature. It wasn’t hard to imagine her companion in that setting. Coming across the sand in knee-length board shorts, his shoulders tan from many hours in the sun, the muscles rippling as he carried a surfboard on his shoulder. He’d use his free hand to sluice his too-long hair back and then stand the board up in the sand before walking towards her…

  She’d participated in just such a scene many times, just with a different lead actor. The last time, the actor had been her beloved brother. She remembered the smile on his face dying as he got his first glimpse of her, and the angry way he’d grabbed his board and headed back to the ocean. It would be his last ride, and for that, she would never forgive herself.

  The plane stopped moving as it docked at the terminal gate and Becca sighed. Most people came to Hawaii to vacation. But she and Kaillar weren’t in Hawaii to play on the beach. In fact, she wasn’t sure she wanted to play with the handsome man his friends referred to as Kai at all.

  She’d first met him when she and her two friends had tried to climb Maroon Peak on the cusp of a major winter storm. Becca hadn’t known the danger they were in, but she’d soon found out. The wind and snow had come upon them so quickly even now she found it miraculous that Gracie had been the only one hurt on their descent.

  Kaillar and his brother Mason had come up the mountain to rescue them. Mason had gone after Gracie, and Kaillar had escorted her and Melanie to the small town of Silver Springs. Everything had been going fine until she’d slipped and Kaillar had reacted and caught her.

  Even now, she felt horrible for how she had reacted. Gracie seemed to think she needed counseling to get past the attack that had happened not so long ago, but Becca felt sure she could conquer her own demons – she’d done so once before.

  She’d never been one to confide in others, and most especially not matters of a personal nature. Is that why you never sought any help with reconciling with your dad? It’s too late now. Just like it was too late to save Kevin…

  Becca forced her thoughts away from that dark abyss, not willing to allow the past to torture her at this moment in time. The present was doing enough of that all on its own!

  “Hey! We’re here.” Kaillar leaned towards her, craning his head to get a glimpse out the plane’s small window.

  “Very observant,” came her flippant reply before she could stop it. She blushed and covered her mouth before sighing, “Sorry. Coming home…”

  Kaillar sat back, pulled her hand away, and folded his long fingers around it, ignoring her small tug of protest. “I know this must be really hard for you. Gracie mentioned you hadn’t been home in over four years?”

  Becca looked at him, seeing the questions in his eyes, and then turned her head towards the window. “Yeah. Four years.” She thought about leaving it there, but then she didn’t want him assuming that she and her family were all nice and cozy. Once upon a time…

  “Look, you should probably know that I’ve not even spoken to my family since I left Hawaii. Things were…difficult…when I left. My father…well, let’s just say that not having to see me each day as a reminder of what he’d lost was a blessing.”

  “To him?”

  She nodded, “Yeah. To him.”

  “And what about you? Was it a blessing being separated from your family for so many years?”

  Be
cca looked at him and then shook her head once, “Yes, and no. But I’m not going to discuss that right now. I can’t. I just wanted you to know that things may be a little tense when we reach my home.”

  He nodded once, and then pushed his arms forward as he stretched; an action that drew her eyes to the tight t-shirt he wore and how well it molded to his muscles. Realizing her brain was once again heading down a path that was only vaguely familiar to her, she forced herself to look away as she slowly gathered up her belongings from the seat in front of her.

  “So, how far from the airport…”

  “We have to grab a charter flight to the Big Island. This is only Honolulu.” At his blank look, she smiled tightly, “Oahu. Where Pearl Harbor is?” When he nodded, she continued, “My family lives on the Big Island – Hawai’i.”

  “Okay. So, I didn’t have Jessica grab us a charter flight…”

  “Don’t worry about it. Unless things have really changed around here, we shouldn’t have any problem catching a flight.”

  “Does anyone know you’re coming besides your mother?” Kai asked, the look on his face warning Becca that he would only take half answers for so long.

  Becca gave him a rueful glance, “I’m not even sure I agreed to come home before passing out. I should probably call her, but I know she’s got a lot on her plate right now.” And I don’t know if I could handle it if she’d changed her mind and didn’t really want me here. Better to just show up, and then deal with whatever outcome there was.

  The pilot turned off the fasten seatbelt sign and Becca felt her anxiety go up another notch. Breathe in, Becca. You can do this. One. Two. Three. Breathe out. Good girl. She could almost envision Gracie standing over her and counting as she went through the breathing exercises that had seen her through more than one panic attack. She opened her eyes, and tried to see the island as any other tourist would.

  Hawaii was a place that people came to make beautiful memories. Until that fateful day four and a half years ago, she’d thought it was an idyllic place to grow up. Her parents owned a small upscale beach resort in Opihikao. It was more like an over-achieving bed and breakfast, and as far as she knew, her parents had still been running it upon her father’s death.

  Becca scooted to the aisle when it was her row’s turn to disembark, and felt a small measure of thankfulness when Kaillar stepped back and waited for her to precede him from the plane. She nodded her thanks to the stewardess, and then stepped off the plane, immediately feeling a wave of homesickness as she breathed in the humid air that was like no other.

  Fragrant flowers coated the air in a way only found on the islands, and the Hawaiian shirt clad greeter smiled broadly as she lifted a flower lei over Becca’s head. “Aloha!”

  “Mahalo,” Becca offered softly in return, the syllables rolling off her tongue as if she’d not kept them locked away for years.

  With her strawberry blonde hair and pale green eyes, she looked like any other tourist come to the islands for a bit of culture, some sand, and the chance to see a live volcano erupting. But Becca considered herself as much of a Hawaiian as the dark-skinned, dark-haired young men and women who could trace their Hawaiian heritage back for generations.

  Becca’s mother had come to the islands as a young adult, fresh out of high school. She’d fallen in love with a surfer, skipped returning home for the fall school semester to watch him train, and then compete during the winter months on the islands. An orphan, she didn’t have any family to answer to, only herself.

  When spring had arrived, the surfers had headed south and she’d been left behind. Four months pregnant with a baby on the way. A baby the father adamantly denied was his.

  Her mother, Stacie, had refused to chase after him and had refused to name him on Becca’s birth certificate. To this day, she didn’t know who her biological father was, and had accepted that the secret would go to the grave with her mother. According to her, the man was already dead, and naming him now would serve no good purpose.

  Becca had accepted that, and until tragedy had struck their family four years earlier, she’d never wanted to call anyone but the man who’d raised her – dad. She still didn’t now, but words spoken from the midst of a broken and hurting heart couldn’t be taken back, and she’d allowed them to fester now for four years.

  She stepped further into the airport terminal, her mind continuing to think too hard about things she couldn’t change. About the man she had lovingly called father all of her life. Makoa Kahoalani.

  Three months after Becca was born, her mother had met the man when she took a job as a housekeeper at his family’s resort. The two had fallen in love and when Becca was only six months old, they had been married in a traditional Hawaiian ceremony out behind the resort on the green grasses overlooking the ocean.

  Her parents had been so happy, and she’d grown up knowing that she was loved. She and her brother…

  Becca took a short breath, the pain of remembering making it almost impossible to face what she knew was going to be the hardest time in her life. She’d tried to mend her broken heart while living in Colorado, and it seemed that every time she thought she could see the light at the end of the tunnel, a new tragedy appeared in her life.

  She’d been well on her way to healing before the attack in Colorado. Now, here she was, heading home to the place where all of her troubles had begun, to face yet another tragedy. And she was scared. Scared she wouldn’t be able to handle the memories. Scared she’d run again. Scared she wouldn’t recover this time.

  Hearing Kaillar speaking to the greeter behind her, she turned and pasted a smile on her face that didn’t even come close to reaching her eyes. She was in Oahu, and now she needed to face her past and find them a transport to the Big Island. So far, things had gone smoothly, but Becca was too pessimistic to imagine they would continue to be so.

  This trip could very well destroy me. Again!

  Chapter 4

  Kaillar watched as Becca looked back at him, seeing the strain around her mouth, even though she was trying to smile for his benefit. He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be all right, but he didn’t even know what everything was.

  He’d tried to get her talking about her childhood, and she’d given him some facts, but nothing that would help him understood why she’d fled to the mainland to begin with.

  Every time he even got close to asking a personal question, she’d changed the subject. He’d finally given up, and allowed himself to close his eyes and sleep. He’d hoped that she would do the same, but looking at the bruising beneath her eyes, he would guess that she hadn’t slept for more than an hour since leaving Colorado the morning before.

  “So, do we need to grab our luggage?” Kaillar asked, joining her, the flower lei around his neck almost overpowering, the fragrance was so strong.

  “Luggage is downstairs. And yes, we do need to grab it.” They hadn’t brought much with them, this trip coming up suddenly and without notice. Becca had been able to pack hurriedly, but Kaillar only had a few changes of clothes with him, and his travelling toiletry bag. He’d assured her that he could purchase anything he needed once they reached their destination, and she hadn’t argued with him. Because he was right.

  The islands offered a plethora of shopping venues, and the Big Island was no different. Home to Kilauea, it was a popular destination for tourists wanting the complete Hawaiian experience. The volcano had been erupting in one form or another ever since Becca could remember.

  When it wasn’t spewing forth molten lava and steam, slow moving lava tubes were creeping across the surface of the island, consuming anything in their path. A recent event had a small tube gradually moving towards Opihikao. So far, no homes had been destroyed, but Mother Nature and the volcano herself wouldn’t be stopped before they were ready. If things continued to move in the same direction, her family’s resort would barely make it to ring in the New Year before becoming yet anoth
er victim of the volcano.

  She led him towards the escalators that would take them to the ground level and baggage claim areas. It would also give her an opportunity to see who had a charter flight heading back to the Big Island.

  “Becca?” an incredulous voice grabbed her attention, making her swing her head around to confront a very rotund face from her past.

  “Kalino?” Of all the people she’d expected to see at the airport, her brother’s best friend wasn’t even on the long list.

  “Aloha! What are you doing here? The last time I spoke to your father…” The man broke off seeing the sadness on her face. “Oh no! What happened?”

  Becca swallowed painfully, and then whispered, “He’s dead.”

  Kalino watched her for a moment, glancing at her companion, before turning to her with a raised brow, “Did you speak to him before…”

  She shook her head, wanting him to let the matter go. “My mother called…”

  “When is the funeral? I would like to attend.”

  Becca’s head was reeling, but Kalino’s words registered, and she nodded. “He would have liked that. I believe it’s tomorrow. We just arrived from the mainland, and I need to find us a ride.”

  “Done! I don’t have any other fares scheduled for today or tomorrow. I was going to head to Maui, and get some practice rides in before the competition starts next weekend.”

  “Competition?” Kaillar asked, stepping in behind Becca and wondering who this man talking with them was.

  “Surfing. Kalino is one of the best.” Becca looked between the two men, wondering what was going through Kaillar’s head. She was hoping she wouldn’t have to explain her comment or how she knew it to be true. She might have left Hawaii, but she’d secretly followed Kalino’s career as a world class surfer, and she only hoped he turned out better than Dagan had. Fame and popularity could be anyone’s downfall, and having scores of scantily clad women throwing themselves at you all the time, telling you how wonderful they think you are, was enough to make even the strongest man of integrity think with his ego instead of his mind and heart.