True Submission

by Claire Thompson

  “Nope, sorry. You’re not taking the blame for this one, sweetie. I’m the one with the supposed experience. I let you down. You may forgive me, but I can’t forgive myself.” Andrew crossed his arms over his chest, his expression set and stubborn.

  Ashley turned away to hide her grin. He reminded her of nothing so much as a spoiled little kid at that moment.

  “What? What are you grinning about? Is this funny to you? That I suck as a Dom?”

  Ashley laughed outright and then bit her lip. She couldn’t believe what she was about to say—all her life had been spent trying to placate and humor the men around her. But instinctively she knew it was safe with Andrew. She could be honest and he wouldn’t browbeat or humiliate her for it.

  Carefully she said, “Honey, it’s just that you remind me right now less of a failed Dom than a little spoiled brat.” She laughed again, but her expression was tender. “So I got a rough whipping. I have to tell you right up to near the end I was so hot I couldn’t see straight. If you’d touched me just one more time down there, I would have come like a crazy woman.”

  Touching his arm she continued. “I loved it, Andrew. Just like I knew in my bones I would. It’s so weird, when you think about it, that I had this submissive, masochistic streak in me and it never even entered my fantasies. I guess I got screwed up so early, mixed up with the wrong type of people for so long that I never really even gave myself a chance to fantasize.

  “But when I found those books it sort of crystallized it all for me. That plus all the reading and exploring I’ve been doing online. And the things you’ve done so far—it’s been heavenly. That’s the word—heavenly. Like it’s not of this earth somehow. It’s…” she paused, furrowing her brow. “Wait, what’s that word I just looked up, yes, it’s loftier.” She grinned, clearly pleased with herself and her vocabulary. “It’s more intense than just our plain ole sex, which, by the way, is pretty damn wonderful.”

  She stopped, gazing out the window as she gathered her thoughts. “How do I put this? Let’s see, um, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want to go back to plain ole vanilla with you, Andrew. I want to continue what we’ve started, to keep on exploring together. Will you trust me, will you trust yourself enough to do that?”

  Andrew gazed at her silently for a moment. Slowly he shook his head as he stared at her, seeming to drink her in with his eyes. Finally he said quietly, “You’re amazing, Ash. You’re just so amazing.” He pulled her toward him, and the sex, while just “plain ole vanilla” was pretty terrific nonetheless.

  ~*~

  Slowly Ashley was able to convince her lover she was ready for more. “Let’s trust each other, darling,” she had implored, and he had nodded, realizing she was wise beyond her years in some ways and if he listened closely, he could learn a lot from her.

  When he held her down during sex Ashley responded so ardently he felt encouraged to take it a step farther, ordering her to get on her hands and knees and “take it” as he plunged into her from behind. He was still unwilling to bring out the whip, but Ashley was patient.

  As he regained his confidence, they began to talk again about what they wanted and wondered about with regard to their new D/s relationship. “There’s something I want to try, Ashley, but it’s not something I would ever force on you, even in play.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Anal sex. I find the submissive aspect of it very erotic. Passion with an edge of danger. The thought of my sub offering her most private opening for my penetration is deeply arousing to me. Especially you, Ashley, given your shyness about your body. Part of submission is giving all of yourself, including your modesty, to your master.”

  Ashley was quiet. She had been anally penetrated before, though not often. Most of the johns Greg had hooked her up with were older and more “traditional” in what they wanted from a whore. There were those who wanted to use her anally from time to time, and she had complied as she had with everything, with her eyes shut, her body limp, her mind as blank and empty as she could make it.

  But she had an idea that those times had as much in common with what the experience might be with Andrew as any other aspect of their lovemaking. Before Andrew, Ashley had submitted in the basest sense of the word—without free will or love, but only through fear and a sense of hopelessness.

  Now she was freely giving and receiving the greatest joy possible—true and honest love. If Andrew wanted to explore anal sex as an aspect of submission, Ashley knew she wanted it as well. All of this passed through her mind as she sat quietly listening to her lover speak of erotic submission and passion. Finally she asked, “Have you done it before?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you like it?” She blushed a little as she asked this, but didn’t turn away. She would give him her modesty.

  “What little I’ve experienced, yes. I’ve read about it extensively. It can be a very intense experience. With the right woman. With a submissive woman willing to open herself completely. Are you willing?”

  Her eyes wide, her expression grave, Ashley nodded.

  Later that evening when he whispered that he wanted to fuck her in the ass, Ashley reacted by grabbing the lubricating jelly and smearing it liberally across her little puckered entrance. Though she cried out a little when he pressed past her sphincter, she never once asked him to stop. Once adjusted to the invasion, she began to move in rhythm to his thrust, almost orgasming just from the delicious humiliation of the sodomy at the hands of her dominant lover. When he had reached around to play with her pussy, only a few strokes were necessary to send her careening over the edge of pleasure. She fell asleep almost instantly, a deep dreamless sleep.

  ~*~

  “I want to do something to please you, sir,” Ashley had said sweetly one evening after their shower. They had taken to showering together, lathering each other up, invariably spending far too much time on a particular body part than was warranted by mere cleansing.

  Now Ashley stood, her arms obediently held aloft as Andrew dried her warm, wet body. He slid the heavy towel down one smooth leg and up the other, stopping at her little pubic bush.

  “You please me so much already it’s ridiculous,” he answered as he leaned down to kiss her pubic curls.

  “No, no,” she said, almost petulantly. “I want to do something. Something submissive. A sign, you know, a gesture of my submission.”

  As Andrew caressed her sex with idle fingers, he said thoughtfully. “Hmm—a gesture, huh? That’s sounds sexy. I like that. How about this? Let’s shave this pussy. Let’s shave you bare—a sign of your submission. Proof that you want to be more open to me. Hiding nothing from your master.” He grinned playfully but lust glinted in his eyes.

  Ashley touched her own pubic hair protectively. She had been thinking more along the lines of taking his cock into her mouth there on the bathroom floor as she knelt naked at his feet. Or maybe wantonly kneeling doggy style and spreading her own pussy for him to plunder from behind. Or perhaps even anal penetration—the ultimate submission in her eyes. But if she were honest, those weren’t really submissive acts at all. She was eager for his body and how he made her feel.

  “Well? You seem to hesitate. I think that would be a good symbol of your submission, don’t you? I’ll do it. I’ll be the one with the razor. A matter of trust, as you like to say, eh, my little slave girl?”

  Ashley swallowed, her hand still covering her sex.

  “Or,” Andrew said softly, stepping back from her, “did you really just want to pretend to offer something to get yourself off?”

  Ashley blushed. He had hit the nail on the head and she was chagrined. Instead of answering honestly she said, “No, no. I just wasn’t expecting you to say that. I had no idea you were interested in that.”

  “Well, I think it would be very sexy. I could fuck you closer, lick you closer. It’s symbolic and an actual revelation. You will strip another covering that keeps you from total submission. And I can see now that this
would definitely be a real gesture of submission for you by your obvious reluctance.”

  He cupped her pussy, pushing her hand away with his. Laughing he said, “Wet as always, my little slut. So obviously even though this makes you nervous, it excites you as well.”

  And he was right. It seemed the very things that frightened her also aroused her the most. Ashley licked her lips and said, “Now?”

  “No time like the present. Here, climb up here.” Andrew spread a fresh towel on the bathroom counter. The room was steamy and warm and with her pussy freshly washed, it really was the best time for shaving.

  Andrew’s cock, already half-erect from drying her off, now sprang fully to attention as he watched Ashley hop onto the counter and spread her legs in a sweet offering. Using a barber’s scissors he carefully cut off as much of the hair as he could while hot water ran over a washcloth in the sink next to Ashley.

  Squeezing the cloth, he gently laid it across Ashley’s mons for a moment while he kissed her mouth. “I love you,” he whispered, and she answered in kind. He squirted shaving gel on his fingers and rubbed it to a lather before smearing it across her pudendum. Carefully he drew a fresh razor across it, rinsing the blade often in the hot running water.

  Applying more cream to her delicate folds, he drew the blade slowly along her outer labia, removing all the hair until she was smooth as a babe. He rinsed the area with a fresh washcloth. As his fingers grazed her clit, Ashley sighed and shifted, clearly aroused.

  When he was done, Andrew retrieved a little hand mirror and held it up for Ashley to inspect his handiwork. She stared at the labia, fascinated. Instead of the “ugly little flaps of skin” she used to see, Ashley actually saw her beautiful sex with Andrew’s eyes at that moment. She saw the lovely dark pinks, the curving folds, the coyly hidden clit now peeping out for attention.

  “You are poetry come to life,” he said softly. “I love watching you come, and I think this is going to take us to whole new heights of experience. You know, you said you want to show me your submission and this is a lovely way to do it. I think I’ll add another request, or command if you like.”

  He smoothed her hair from her face and said, “I don’t want you to ever come except in my presence, understood? I’m greedy, really greedy when it comes to you. I don’t want you to orgasm unless I’m there to watch it. That means when I’m at work and you get online and start going to all those nasty sites, you are to keep your hands out of your panties, got it?”

  Ashley blushed and grinned. He knew her too well. Slowly she nodded and said, “I promise, sir. This is your body and is to be used for your pleasure.”

  “Yes, that’s right. For me. But now I’m here, aren’t I? And I want to see you come. To make you come.” He knelt before her so his face was level with her pussy and as his tongue touched the denuded folds, Ashley moaned her approval. She held his head as he tongued her to a lovely orgasm.

  When he stood, his cock bobbing near her sex, Ashley cried, “Yes, do it. Take me, Andrew. Now.” Gone was the modest, unsure girl, replaced by a mature and sexually confident woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.

  Andrew, of course, was happy to comply.

  Be careful what you wish for. Another of her mother’s old sayings drifted through her head. Andrew seemed to have a knack for picking just the things that somehow touched a nerve. Still there was no place she’d rather be.

  Thank heavens he had decided to trust her again and more importantly himself. Something had been opened in Ashley, released somehow, and she didn’t ever want to go back to the old Ashley.

  It wasn’t just that she was more sexual, more sensual and just plain horny all the time. That was strange enough in itself, given that she had decided long ago that all men were insensitive pigs and she herself was sexually frigid except in the privacy of her own bedroom late at night. Even then, when she had masturbated alone it wasn’t particularly erotic but really more of a sleep aid.

  Even more than the constant sexual tension she felt now was the overlay of submissive feeling and desire. When Andrew walked into the room, she had to control herself not to immediately kneel down and touch her head to the floor. She knew this made him uncomfortable. He was still grappling with his own issues and also with his fears about her past.

  Happily, he wasn’t so constrained by his fears to keep from domming her several times a week. Tonight, however, she was afraid he had bitten off more than she could chew. She’d enjoyed the couple of times he’d tied her up, tying her hands over her head and securing them to the bedposts. It was thrilling to be fucked while held down like that and she’d come hard and long, screaming her pleasure.

  Tonight was different. Though she was slowly coming to accept her body as beautiful, even down there, at this precise moment she longed to close her legs.

  For Andrew had remembered her remarks about the scene in Story of O, when O was tied on a dais and forced to remain so for hours after the other slave girls had whipped her inner thighs. For O the humiliation had been in the exposure of her sex. She was obviously a masochist, as Ashley realized herself to be, but she shared the same apparent aversion to others looking at her down there.

  Ashley shivered. Intellectually she understood Andrew was “pushing her envelope” as he called it—taking her just a little farther than she thought she could go.

  If she were honest, even though she felt nervous right now, she was also deeply aroused. Andrew had built his own little dais for her, using a desk and pulleys he’d installed in the ceiling. Chains hung from the pulleys with cuffs to hold her prisoner.

  She was secured by her ankles, her body lying exposed on the desk, legs spread wide to reveal her shaved pussy. Andrew had thoughtfully padded the desk with soft quilts before ordering his slave girl to lie down. He had tied rope around her chest just above and below her breasts, knotting it under the desk. Her wrists, wrapped in soft leather cuffs, were clipped to the silver loop on her collar. Her legs were extended high and she felt vulnerable. She fancied she could even feel a breeze against her labia.

  She shivered a little and tried to move, testing the cuffs on her ankles. She couldn’t close her legs—she couldn’t even shift her body a little to get more comfortable. And where was Andrew?

  He had tied her, and then walked out of the room after kissing her lightly on the forehead. As she lay alone, Ashley considered calling out to him. Andrew, I’m scared. Come back! Untie me. She practiced the words in her head but she didn’t speak them aloud.

  She realized they weren’t entirely true. She was scared, yes, but she also wanted this. She knew what was going to happen. She knew she was about to experience what O had felt, tied and vulnerable, whipped while bound—though with O it had been other women.

  So far at least, only Andrew and Ashley had been privy to their D/s lifestyle. Andrew had been hinting though that it was only a matter of time until she was exposed to others. A test, he had said, of her true willingness to submit—by having others witness that submission. She had found the idea exciting, but also knew she wasn’t ready for it. Not yet.

  Andrew never seemed to give her more than she could handle. Not since that night when the whipping had gotten out of hand. She had promised to communicate better with him after that, and slowly he had regained his confidence and his trust in the both of them to handle things.

  She had never used the safe word since that night and still secretly felt it was a matter of pride. She would take what he gave her. She found she reveled in the strength of submission. Was this a contradiction?

  Not at all, she had decided. What strength and courage it took to accept a whipping without falling out of position. What grace and acceptance to offer yourself completely for your lover without flinching or trying to cover yourself no matter how penetrating his gaze.

  She found she walked tall now, no longer hunching and averting her eyes as if this would somehow make her invisible and thus safe. She felt free and beautiful even whe
n she was just grocery shopping or walking the dog.

  And having attained her GED, she had recently signed up at the local community college and had been eagerly pouring over the brochure for new classes, selecting a creative writing course along with the core subjects she would need her first year.

  At the first class, the instructor had encouraged the students to “write about what you know”. Imagine the shock of her young classmates, and the teacher too for that matter, if she wrote about what she knew. A life on the streets, drug addiction, prostitution and now BDSM.

  She smiled a little and heaved a tremulous little sigh. She felt a little flash of pride that she had distracted herself with these thoughts and had not called out to Andrew. He returned now dragging in a large mirror, which he propped on the wall across from her. She couldn’t lift herself enough to see but assumed he was angling it so her body would be visible in the mirror.

  Andrew came around to her head and kissed her. “Are you ready, darling? Ready to suffer for me?” Slowly she nodded though inside the fear was beginning, just slightly, to outweigh the sexual anticipation.

  Andrew showed her the little riding crop he had purchased for the occasion. The little flat square of leather at the end of the handle was shiny black. He brought it to her lips and Ashley knew she was expected to kiss it, which she did.

  Without a word, he stood between her spread thighs and gazed down at her bare pussy. Ashley squirmed a little but knew she was powerless to close her legs. Somehow, as it always seemed to when she was in this submissive mode, her very humiliation became erotic. She felt the heat in her pussy and wondered if he could see her arousal. The thought embarrassed her further and ironically made her more aroused, and thus again more embarrassed. She closed her eyes.

  She felt his fingers slide across her smooth labia, slipping into her wet entrance. She shivered and tried to move up against him, but she was unable to move even a little bit in her bonds. Andrew toyed with her for a while, bringing her close to the edge of orgasm before pulling away.