The next morning she went to see Maddy. Madeleine Bell, or M.B. as she was known affectionately to her 'girls', ran an employment agency. She handled only girls who wanted temporary work. She had all the best girls in south London, and she allowed them to work for only the very select firms.
All the fifty girls on her books she knew personally, their problems, their private lives and their abilities. She looked after them like a mother hen, and they adored her. She got them jobs by the hour, the day, the week or the month, and all the girls were picked and matched to the jobs. If Nessa didn't like scruffy offices, then Nessa only went to work in Knightsbridge with wall-to-wall carpeting. If Amelia wanted to be paid in cash because she had never got round to having a bank account, then her money was there for her in cash. If they were good and reliable workers, then Maddy would pander to their little weaknesses to keep them happy.
Every Friday afternoon and well into the evening Maddy served chilled white wine, tea and coffee. All the girls came trooping in for their money, for details of the next week's jobs and to tell Maddy their troubles. And she listened, sympathised and understood.
Maddy also made a great deal of money. Her clients trusted her to supply them with good, reliable 'temps', and this she did. All her girls worked hard. They could be trusted, were punctual and had the skills for which they were being paid. Any long lunch hours, or filing nails during working hours, and that was it—a polite goodbye from Maddy and no more jobs.
Somewhere in Maddy's background there was an adoring and much loved husband, but he never appeared when the girls were there on Fridays, and she never talked about him. She herself was darkly good-looking, in her mid-thirties, and was planning to leave 'all this' one day to have babies. But not yet, she always added, not quite yet.
They had met when Davina first came to London from Cornwall and she had worked for Maddy for some weeks before going to join Foster Patterson. When Davina walked in Maddy remembered her immediately. She took one look at Davina's face and got out the white wine, always ready chilled.
'O.K.,' she said without any introductory chit-chat. 'What happened?'
And Davina told her. For the first time she told someone everything. It seemed to pour out of her like a flood, leaving her slightly lightheaded. Maddy just listened and didn't say a word until Davina had finished. And then she made no comment, offered no sympathy or advice. Instead she started cheerfully opening books, looking at lists.
'If you decide to work for me, I shall be only too pleased,' she said brightly. 'There's always plenty of work about at this time of the year with holidays coming up.' She looked at Davina. 'But you've had it good, you know. Do you think you'll be able to slog away typing, making tea, filing endlessly after the interesting and responsible work you've had?'
'That's just what I do want,' Davina pleaded, 'mechanical routine work where I don't have to think or make decisions, and where I'll be able to leave on the dot every night.'
'Very well.' Maddy was sceptical. 'I don't think you'll stick it, but we'll give it a whirl. Now, are you going to insist on being local in Hampstead, because it's not my area.'
'No, I don't mind travelling. I've got a car, if I can afford to go on running it.'
'My dear, if you're prepared to work, every day and all day, you'll make a bomb. And you'll be a star in my heaven. Experienced, attractive personal assistants looking for temporary work don't usually come my way.'
'Maddy,' Davina hesitated, 'will I need… I mean, can you place me without a reference?'
Maddy looked at her keenly. 'Why? Don't you think your precious Jake will give you one?'
'No, it's not that exactly. I'd rather… I mean, I'd feel happier if I didn't…'
'You don't want to ask him, and you don't want him to know where you're working,' Maddy said matter-of-factly. 'No, you won't need a reference with me. And after the first week you'll have one if you want it.'
'Oh, Maddy, you're a genius! You make me feel better already.'
'There's nothing like being appreciated and having money in the bank. And both those things you'll start having a week today.' Maddy looked up from her filing cards. 'Take it from an old campaigner, if you don't have to think twice about the price of a ravishing new outfit or a smashing handbag, life is still worth living.'
Davina laughed out loud for the first time in weeks.
And so she began to work for Maddy. The only conditions Davina made were no advertising work and no job for longer than a week. Maddy promised her that and stuck to it. And life began to take on a new rhythm.
Every Monday she was in a different office, with new people, doing vaguely different things. By the time she was on top of the job, familiar with the people and close to boredom, it was Friday and she was leaving.
Strangely, she found it exhilarating to be so entirely without any responsibility. She met a lot of people, and never stayed long enough anywhere to invite curiosity or fend off personal questions.
She got into Maddy's Friday afternoon habit and enjoyed watching the other girls. If she wanted to talk to Maddy, she knew she could do so. But mostly she just went to sit and listen. One or two of the debby girls noted her expensive clothes and tried to become friendly. But this Davina did not encourage.
The weeks went by, and it was summer, nearly three months since she had left Foster Patterson. She was sleeping again almost normally, and she was eating regularly. If she had ever doubted her feelings for Jake that was long past. The raw pain had gone, and she could think of him without trembling. But the strength of her love and her need didn't seem to change. She could feel no interest in any other man. Several tried to date her in the various offices where she worked, but she had never wanted to go out with any of them, not even for an occasional evening out.
Any tall dark-haired man always caught her attention. If the likeness was more striking, her heart would accelerate its beat, and she would half hope, half dread it might be Jake, that she might catch a glimpse of him. But she never did.
And then one hot and balmy lunchtime when Davina was having a sandwich in the park, her slumbering feelings were rudely awakened once more.
'Davina!' said a familiar voice, and she turned to see Heather a few paces away. She was with a young man, and they were holding hands.
'It is, isn't it?' Heather said breathlessly, leaving her companion to rush up to Davina.
'Hello, Heather.' Davina's voice was friendly and cool.
'Gosh,' Heather went on, 'this is a stroke of luck, running into you at last. We've all been wondering about you so often, and nobody seemed to have heard from you. Oh, sorry, this is Andy… Davina Richards.' She turned to the young man. 'We used to work together at the agency.'
Davina nodded. 'How do you do.'
The pleasant curly-haired youngster smiled and then turned to Heather. 'I expect you'll want a chat and I'd be in the way. I'll pop down to the lake for a few minutes, and then we must get back.'
'Right, Andy. Thanks.' Heather gave him a hug and a shove in one movement. 'Oh, do let's sit down.' Heather was rushing her words in the same old way. 'How are you? And what have you been doing with yourself? Are you quite better? And are you still working in London? Why haven't any of us seen you?'
Davina laughed. 'Good old Heather! Just the same. Which question shall I answer first?'
'Oh, never mind my questions. Just tell me about yourself.'
Davina hesitated and looked down at her hands.
'If you want to, that is,' Heather added less confidently.
'Yes, well…' Davina said slowly, 'I can launch into all sorts of news, but your young man will be back shortly. I'd much rather hear about everyone at the agency. How are Mike and Charlie?' she asked, deliberately avoiding the mention of Jake's name.
'They're both well, although Charlie's going for interviews like mad at the moment, looking for a job. He's leaving.'
Davina was genuinely astonished. 'But why? I can't imagine him leaving the unit.'
'Ye
s, well, things have… they've changed, you know. I mean, it's all very different now.'
Davina was curious, but did not want to show it. Her pulse quickened. Could something have happened to Jake? Had he left?
'What do you mean changed?' she said eventually.
'Well, you know about Miss Durant? You met her, didn't you? I can't remember.'
'No, I never actually met her,' Davina said quietly.
'Yes, well, she's very different from you.'
'Well, she was bound to be,' Davina said drily.
'Oh!' Heather was confused for the moment, and then laughed. 'What I mean is, she's terrifically efficient… not that you weren't, of course, but she does it differently. It's all sort of… serious.' Heather paused, trying to find the right words.
'I see,' Davina said demurely, 'meaning that I was always shrieking with mirth?'
'Oh, Davina you are a tonic! It's so lovely to see you, like old times. We've all missed you so dreadfully.'
All? Davina wondered. 'Well,' she said lightly, 'I'm flattered, of course, but you haven't told me how everything's changed.'
'Well, it's not just Miss Durant who never laughs or has a joke. It's Jake, too.'
He is still there then, Davina thought, her pulse fluttering at the mention of his name. 'He's not ill, is he?' she asked carefully.
'Oh, no, nothing like that. It's just that he's so changed. I mean, of course he was always a bit tricky to work for… you know, one never knew if he was going to laugh when you made a mistake or if he was going to rip you down.'
'As far as I remember,' Davina said drily, 'that rather depended on the mistake.'
'There you go again! You see? You always see the funny side, and I didn't really appreciate that till you'd gone,' Heather sounded forlorn.
'You were telling me how Jake had changed,' Davina reminded her.
'Oh, yes. Now he's always on his high horse. I can't remember when any of us had a chat or a laugh with him. He works like a fiend, and he expects us to go on till we drop. And we never have any light relief like we used to in the old days.' Heather sounded perplexed. 'It's not easy to describe what I mean. He's just so bad-tempered all the time.'
'Bad-tempered? I don't remember him ever being that.'
'Yes, well, that's just it. He is now—bad-tempered, I mean. And Charlie says it's almost as though he can't enjoy anything himself and is taking it out on us. Charlie says it's because there seems to be no Andrea Temple around at the moment and that's the trouble. But Mike says there've been times before when there's been no one, and he wasn't like this.'
'Oh, dear,' Davina was thinking out loud, 'maybe he's just going through a bad patch. Or perhaps Miss Durant is taking time to settle. Don't forget I had Georgina when I started.'
'Mm, yes, maybe,' Heather was not convinced, 'but if that was it, you'd think she'd let me help her. But she won't have it. It has to be done by her and in her way… Oh, and she hates to have your name mentioned. I learned that in the first week.'
'Yes, well… you still haven't told me why Charlie is leaving. That can't be because of Miss Durant.'
'Oh, no, of course not. He and Jake had a fight.'
'A fight?' Davina was incredulous now. 'But Jake never fights with anyone!'
'Well, exactly, that's what we all said afterwards, and Mike told Charlie to ignore the whole thing, that Jake was upset and wasn't himself. But Charlie was livid.'
'Oh, dear,' Davina said again, noting all the "Charlie saids" and "Mike saids" that seemed to litter Heather's conversation.
'It was all rather odd, really.' Heather wrinkled her brow, trying to remember. 'We were having coffee in the office. I'd just made some for the boss, and the boys came in to see him. He had the engaged sign up and I said something about waiting, and Mike said what about a free cup of coffee, then. Anyway, the three of us were drinking coffee when Jake came out of his office and saw us. And… oh, yes, I'd forgotten that bit, we were talking about you… that's funny, I've only just remembered that. Charlie was saying he'd seen Georgina and the baby and that they were hoping you'd be visiting… something like that. And Jake turned on Charlie, absolutely furious. I've never seen him so angry. He was quite white with it, I remember. He said he couldn't see the point of their being employed by him if all they could do was to waste his time, drinking his coffee and making so much noise with idle chat in his office that he couldn't work. Well, you could have heard a pin drop…' Heather turned to Davina, who had gone strangely rigid in the face. 'Are you all right, Davina? You look a bit funny.'
'Yes, yes, I'm fine. What happened then?'
'Well, for a minute nobody moved or said anything. It was awful, and Jake just stood there, blazing with anger. I've never seen him like that before.'
Davina said nothing. She felt her throat constrict. Heather went on.
'And then Charlie lost his temper, and he told Jake what he could do with his lousy job, and that he, Charlie could spend his coffee break as he pleased, and if he didn't like the way he was doing his job, then he, Jake, might as well know that he didn't think he was making a particularly good job of his own work any more… Oh, dear, that's a bit muddled, but it was such a shock. I've never seen Charlie lose his temper.'
She stopped, distressed, remembering it all, and then she sighed. 'Anyway, Mike tried to talk Charlie out of leaving. He said Jake was sure to regret what he'd said, and that Charlie should go and see him, but Charlie refused. He said nobody talks to him like that. Anyway, it's affected everyone—first you and now Charlie. I don't blame you for going. I never knew Jake could be like that.'
'Now, Heather, that's nonsense. You know my leaving had nothing whatever to do with Jake,' Davina said deliberately. She looked at her watch. 'I'm afraid I must be going.'
'Oh, but you haven't told me anything about yourself. Here I've been going on about us. Please tell me quickly what you're doing. The others will want to know, too.'
'I'd like to, Heather, but my lunch hour is up, and I must be going. And your Andy is on his way back. He seems nice. Is it serious?'
'Good heavens, Davina, you sound about ninety! Just like my mother. No, it isn't serious. He's nice and we have fun, that's all. Nothing is for ever, you know.'
They stood up to wait for Andy.
'Hello, spitfire,' he said casually. 'We have to go.'
Davina held out her hand. 'It's been nice seeing you, Heather. Give my love to… er… everyone,' she ended up rather awkwardly. Nodding to Andy, she turned and walked away across the grass towards the park exit.
The afternoon passed in a daze for Davina, and she was glad she had only mechanical jobs to get through. Over and over she thought about the things Heather had told her. Why was Jake impatient and short-tempered? Did it have anything to do with her? Did he miss her at work? But she dismissed that. He knew where she lived; all he had to do was contact her. And he'd made no move to keep her, ask her to stay on. No, whatever was wrong had nothing to do with her.
There was no point in dreaming about what might have been. That way lay more heartache. She had to be strong and put Jake out of her mind again. It was over, definitely over. But she wished she hadn't met Heather. It was all more difficult now. Her longing for him suddenly intensified, and she was swept headlong into a tidal wave of misery, like a throbbing pain now vibrantly alive again. She felt alone and desolate, as though she had to begin the forgetting battle all over again.
The telephone was ringing as she opened the front door, and she reached for it automatically.
'Hello.'
'Davina?'
'Yes, who is that?'
'It's Georgina. I'm so glad I've got you at last. Where have you been hiding yourself? I've tried so often to catch you on the phone.'
'I'm sorry, Georgina… how are you? And the baby? And Larry?'
'Oh, we're all well, thanks. Listen, I don't want to keep you chatting now, but you are coming on Saturday, aren't you? I wanted to make sure.'
'Saturday?' queried Davin
a.
'The christening, love, don't you remember? Only you haven't answered the invitation.' There was a moment's silence. 'You are coming, Davina, aren't you? Please don't say no. We do want to see you. Quite apart from the baby and the christening… say you'll come.'
'Well, it's rather difficult because I'm supposed to be going home for the week-end,' Davina improvised on the spur of the moment.
'Well, that should be possible,' Georgina calculated. 'The christening is at eleven-thirty, and we're having people back here for a buffet lunch. You can still get away quite early after that.'
Davina felt mean, not wanting to go. 'All right,' she said rather weakly, 'I'll make it. And thank you for asking me.'
'Good.' Georgina became brisk and businesslike. 'Listen, there are going to be masses of people, but I do want to talk to you alone. I'll corner you at lunch and ask you to come up and see Adam with me. Then we can have a quick chat away from the crowd.'
'Yes, of course. See you Saturday, then.'
' 'Bye… and oh, Davina, you won't change your mind and pull out at the last moment, will you?'
Davina laughed lightly. 'No, I won't, even if I'm tempted,' she said, and rang off.
After she'd hung up she was frightened. It was a mistake to go. There was bound to be talk about Jake and everyone from the office would be there. He might even be there himself. Then she chided herself for foolishness. After all, babies and churches were definitely not in his line. It was extremely unlikely that he would be there.
CHAPTER NINE
When she went into the church Jake was the first person she saw, and a sudden irrational joy pierced her at the sight of him. Not only did he tower over most of the men there, but he was standing at Larry's side at the font, one of Adam's godfathers.
The small church was full and beautifully decorated with flowers and fern, reminding Davina of the last time she had been in church, at her sister's wedding. That time Jake had been at her side.
She was late, and the family were grouped round the vicar, Georgina holding Adam in her arms. Jake had his back to her, and she could see the achingly familiar set of his shoulders and the back of his head with the crisp hair neatly dressed. As the ceremony progressed and the godparents took their vows, Davina became more and more conscious of him. She could think of nothing else, and was grateful she had time to compose herself for the inevitable meeting. She wondered briefly if she could escape at the end of the service and skip the lunch. She was still dithering about that when the ceremony ended and she walked slowly out with the rest of the congregation.
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